Kirei: I've wanted to do this for a very long time now. Sailor Moon has always been a personal favorite of mine. It was one of my first anime I had ever watched and is still my favorite. But the only thing I disagreed with was the Mamoru/Usagi pairing. While I do adore them and they look beautiful together, I just think that Seiya and Usagi would look so much better. They are so cute together! So, here's my latest fic! I apologize for any OCC-ness, but hey this is practically A/U since it's not canon and is fanfiction! Enjoy!
Summary: He was gone. Left her. She was alone. No one to comfort her. Until a shining star asked to be in her heart to fill that void. Would she let him?
Main Pairing: Seiya/Usagi!
Side Pairings: Ami/Taiki, Minako/Yaten!
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.
Am I Not Good Enough: Let Me Replace Him In Your Heart
-Edited from the anime-
Thunder rolled in the distance followed by a bright flash of lightning, but the blond-haired girl did not even flinch. She did not shiver when the first drop of cold rain water struck her cheek, nor did she try to find cover when the downpour began. She could only stare with pain filled eyes at the single red rose that stood erect from the ground. The tears that had built up behind her eyelids spilled forth as she whispered a single name.
"Mamo-chan..." her voice was a broken sob that was barely audible.
The dark-haired boy felt his heart clench at the sound as he moved over to her, struggling with the urge to gather her in his arms and take some of the pain away. He raised his arm, but drop it when she bowed her head, making her long pigtails tilt downwards.
"When I think about it..." she began, her voice soft and fragile. "I'm not good at enduring things..."
He raised a single dark brow. "What?"
Tears continued to travel down her reddened cheeks as she continued. "For example, even if I decided to work on my homework today, I can easily lose myself and start eating snacks until I'm full and sleepy." she gave a small giggle, but it quickly ended when her eyes found the rose once more. "Actually, I often sleep after that." her small hands balled into tight fists, rain dripping from her knuckles as they shook with her trembles. "I thought I had a strong will to go on but...when I saw the rose I remembered him!" she screamed, her tears flowing even faster and mixing with the cold water of the storm.
Lightning flashed behind them, but the blond-haired girl continued to sob.
"Odango..." he whispered.
She ignored the nickname he often called her as she said in a choked voice. "Even though I can't hear his voice except on the answering machine and I haven't received any letters, I thought I was okay. That I could survive just by myself...but...I just can't stand being my myself!" the rain had soaked her down to the bone as she poured out all her sorrows and frustrations.
His normally bright midnight blue eyes were dulled as his chest constricted painfully as the girl he'd come to adore so much cried and cried. He could not stand the sight of her beautiful face marred by her tears. Once again struggling with the urge to wrap his arms around her, he whispered, "Odango..."
She fell to her knees, her tears dripping off her cheeks onto the ground where they faded away with the rain. "I want to see you. I want to see you, Mamo-chan!"
Giving into the urge, the boy placed his hands on her shoulders and knelt in front of her. Once her tear filled crystal blue eyes met with his, he said, "Am I not good enough?" he smiled faintly as he hugged her tightly whispering, "Am I not good enough, Usagi?"
A faint red blush was spreading over her cheeks, warming her face as she whispered, "Seiya..."
She did not know what to say. What could she say? No, you aren't good enough? She could not do that! Seiya was a very dear friend to her. He has helped her through all of her darkest times. Usagi knew that he loved her, possibly more than life itself; she was not blind or an idiot. She just acted oblivious to it because it was easier. She could not stand the thought of losing Seiya as her friend; he was one of the things that kept her going. But...could she love him like he loved her? She did not know if she could...not as long as her heart still belonged entirely to Mamoru.
Seiya held her tighter to his chest, burying his face in her soft hair and sighed softly. "It's okay. I understand. You don't have to say it."
Usagi placed her hands on his chest, pushing him away gently and she smiled through her tears. "Thank you for everything, Seiya." she placed her hand on his face, cupping his left cheek. "While I want you to know that you are good enough...my heart still belongs to Mamo-chan." her clear blue eyes began to sparkle with tears once more. "I..." she broke off in a sob.
"Odango..." he felt his heart clench tightly in his chest. "I know you love Mamoru. I'm envious of him, but he's a very lucky guy."
The blond-haired girl saw the sadness in Seiya's cobalt eyes and knew that it was hard for him to hold back like this. She knew that he wanted her to love only him, but she just could not. Mamoru is a special part in her life. She loved him in the past, she was to love him in the future, and she loved him now in the present. "Seiya...I'm so sorry for putting you through this."
Seiya sighed as he pulled her back into his arms, holding her close to his chest. "It's okay Odango. I put myself into this the moment I fell for you." This was good enough for him, just having her close to him, comforting her like he always have. He loved her dearly and would always be there for her when she needed him. "I promise to never leave you alone. I will be here for you until Mamoru come back." he pushed her back a little so he could stare into her eyes. "Let me replace him in your heart...just to ease some of the pain."
Usagi did not know what to say. Here was her friend, the infamous Kou Seiya asking to replace the man that she loved with everything in her heart. Could she let him...even if it was just to ease the hurt and loneliness. She slowly wrapped her arms around Seiya, hugging him close and listened to his heartbeat. "Seiya...I'm sorry." she tightened her arms around him. "I can't. Mamo-chan has my heart completely and entirely. No one can take his place."
The dark-haired boy felt sadness grip his heart at her confession. She could not let him replace Mamoru? Usagi was such a loyal young woman and Mamoru was an extremely lucky guy to have her. Seiya sighed and pulled away for the blond-haired girl, standing and offered her his hand. He smiled, "I know. Come on. Let's get out of the rain before we get sick."
Her normally bright eyes were dull as she stared at his hand for a second before grasping it, allowing Seiya to pull her to her feet. "Un."
"Usagi-chan?" a voice called out. "Usagi-chan!"
The blond-haired woman jumped out of her seat, tripping over her shoelaces, and falling on her rear. With a pain filled whine, her crystal blue eyes shined with tears, "Minako-chan, why'd you have to scare me like that?"
The other blond, who had a big red bow pinning her golden locks back out of her face and cerulean eyes, crossed her arms and huffed slightly. "You were ignoring me, Usagi-chan." she stuck her tongue out at her best friend playfully.
Usagi grinned sheepishly at Minako as she rose to her feet, rubbing the back of her head with her left hand, and the large diamond ring glinted prettily in the sunlight. "Sorry, Minako-chan. I was lost in thought."
"Thinking about your upcoming wedding with Mamoru-san? she nudged Usagi with her elbow and waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
The Moon Princess laughed at the self-proclaimed Goddess of Love, swatting her away. "Stop it, Minako-chan." Once she managed to get her giggles under control, Usagi heaved a small sigh and slumped her shoulders as she turned her face up to the sky. "I was thinking about Seiya and the other Starlights." she smiled softly as she looked her best friend in the eyes. "Don't you miss them."
Minako clasped her hands in front of her chest. "Of course I miss them!" she then pulled up her purse, digging around until she pulled out a silver card. "I was member number 278 of the Three Lights Fan Club!" Minako said proudly before a sigh left her. "I miss Yaten-kun the most though. He would have snatched it from me and said that such things were trivial."
Usagi shared the next sigh. "And I know that Ami-chan misses having Taiki to argue and compete with."
"I bet! She was member number 25! A golden card and everything!" the Goddess of Love turned, gritting her teeth and balling up her fist. "I can't believe it's been nearly two years since they've been gone." Minako looked up at the fading evening sky, watching the first few stars coming out to twinkle.
"Yeah..." The blond Moon Princess sighed.
It has been almost two years since the defeat of Galaxia and Chaos. The evil senshi was going around collecting the Star Seeds of humans for her own personal gain. She had dubbed herself the most powerful sailor senshi as she was the Senshi of Solitude and Destruction. Galaxia almost succeeded in her plans, stealing all of Sailor Senshi's star seeds and even Mamoru's golden seed of Earth. But it turned out that Galaxia was not all that evil.
She fought the Sailor Wars against Chaos. In the great final battle, she was trapped with Chaos and sealed it within herself in order to save the galaxy. However, Chaos was too strong for her and she realized that it would gradually overwhelm her. In order to protect herself against that threat, she expelled her Star Seed which was referred as Light of Hope and sent it out to the Milky Way galaxy, telling it to find someone who would welcome it warmly and use it to fight against Chaos.
As she fell under Chaos' control, Sailor Galaxia began to attack planets in the galaxy, destroying them and taking the true Star Seeds belonging to the other Sailor Senshi. She gathered followers, the Sailor Animamates, in order help her with this mission.
In the meantime, her Star Seed travelled long and far before it finally reached the Earth and found Usagi. It then took the form of Chibi Chibi and masqueraded as Usagi's sister. However, Galaxia's Star Seed was the Light of Hope that Princess Kakyuu and the Sailor Starlights were searching for in order to defeat the legendary Senshi. With the help of the Light of Hope, Princess Serenity fought against Sailor Galaxia, and finally managed to free her from Chaos' influence. Galaxia then departed, leading all of the Star Seeds she had collected back to where they belonged.
With their princess found, Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten returned to their planet, Kinmoku. But right before Sailor Star Fighter left, she made Mamoru promise to take care of Usagi, which the Prince of Earth promptly agreed to.
Another sigh fell from her lips. "I miss Seiya..."
Minako tossed her arm around her best friend's shoulders. "I know, Usagi-chan. He was like your rock when Mamoru-san was...missing." she carefully avoided saying the real reason the dark-haired prince was gone.
"Yeah, he was." she snorted. "Even though he was a cocky jerk sometimes. He was a real sweetheart. Making me laugh, picking on me, calling me 'Odango', always trying to protect me even when I'm Sailor Moon."
The blond with the big red bow in her hair grabbed Usagi's hand, breaking her from her speech, tugging her down the sidewalk and into the busy night streets of Tokyo. "Come on. We still gotta find the perfect shoes to match your absolutely perfect wedding dress. Mamoru-san will be here in a week!"
Usagi giggled at her friend's enthusiasm. Minako will always be the same. Strong and confident. Even when she was broken on the inside from the pain of not being able to see Kou Yaten ever again.
Kou Seiya, now known as Sailor Star Fighter, lifted a stone pillar on her shoulders, bucking slightly under the weight, and carried it down the pathway. She sighed as she raised her face to the brightly lit sky of Kinmoku and her chest throbbed painfully. Fighter shook her head to clear her mind of any lingering thoughts, but some remained. Mainly the one about when she asked Usagi if she was good enough.
"She's probably planning her wedding to him right now." Fighter whispered, lowering her head so that her black bangs hid her eyes. She jumped slightly when someone placed their hand on her shoulder, but the scent of olives calmed her and she turned around to face the owner of the appendage, the Fireball Princess, Kakyuu. Placing the pillar down, Fighter faced her princess.
Kakyuu's bright red eyes glimmered knowingly as she took hold of her senshi's hand, squeezing it gently. "You miss the Moon Princess." the way she said that was more of a statement than a question.
Fighter did not know what to say, her throat closed up with emotion when Kakyuu mentioned, Usagi - her Odango. Not trusting her voice, Sailor Star Fighter nodded slowly and removed her hand from the Fireball Princess's. "Forgive me, Princess." she whispered. "My heart was left back on Earth with Odango."
The Fireball Princess merely smiled at her senshi, taking her hand once more and turning Fighter so that she could seek out her midnight blue eyes. "Fighter." her smile warmed when the senshi looked down at her. "I already knew that. Healer and Maker have as well. Their hearts were left back with the Princesses of Mercury and Venus."
At the mentioning of Fighter's partners' name, had the dark-haired senshi look at her princess fully as she whispered, "Healer and Maker?" She did not realize that her comrades also left their hearts back on Earth. Though Maker was constantly searching for something, anything to challenge her intellect and Healer constantly glanced over her shoulder as if waiting for someone to glomp her.
"I will be in my chambers." Kakyuu's soft voice penetrated Fighter's thoughts, causing the senshi to lower her eyes back to the red-haired princess. "Go and collect Maker and Healer. I have something important to discuss with you." the Fireball Princess squeezed Sailor Star Fighter's hand once more before releasing her and walking down the pathway.
Fighter watched her princess retreat inside her castle. "Ah! I still gotta put this pillar in place!" the dark-haired senshi quickly placed the stone pillar on her shoulders, walking briskly to the spot where it was supposed to go and sat it in the hole that was dug for it. Stepping back, she admired her work, frowning when the pillar was slightly off. Nudging it to the right just a little bit, Fighter was satisfied and went off in search of her partners.
Kou Taiki, known as Sailor Star Maker on Kinmoku, was standing out on a tree limb in the garden, staring up at the sky, vaguely wondering what a certain blue haired woman was doing. She laughed softly to herself. "She's probably got her head in a medical book." She jumped down from the limb and landed gracefully on her feet, but stumbled when a loud voice called out her name.
Maker pressed her fingers to her temples, "Fighter! How many times to I have to tell you to NOT sneak up on me!"
Fighter grinned sheepishly as she rubbed the back of her head. "Sorry bout that." her midnight blue eyes turned serious as she held her head up higher. "Maker, Kakyuu-hime wants to see us."
The tallest of the Starlights felt her violet eyes widened. "Princess does?" She nodded her head and began to walk away, heading in the direction of her princess's castle.
"Wait! Maker!" Fighter called out.
Sailor Star Maker paused in her steps. "What?"
Fighter grinned once more. "Do you happen to know where Healer is? I can't find her anywhere."
The red-brown haired senshi rolled her eyes. "Healer is in her room." she lifted a finger and pointed to the large two-story building in the far distance.
"Thanks!" Fighter said as she ran off, waving back at her comrade.
Maker chuckled softly at Fighter. She knew that the dark haired senshi was only putting on a brave face. Maker knew that on the inside Fighter was hurting, she missed the Princess of the Moon in the Milky Way Galaxy. Not that she could talk though. Maker has felt a sense of longing ever since she left Earth. Like a piece of her was left behind. She turned her head back up to the sky, "Mizuno Ami, Sailor Mercury, and Princess of Mercury, why do I feel such for you." Maker lowered her head and resumed her trek to the Fireball Princess's palace.
Sailor Star Healer, formally known as Kou Yaten, laid on her bed with a book covering her face as she was in deep thought. She growled in frustration and sat up, the book falling into her lap. Running her fingers through her silver hair, Healer sighed softly. Why does it feel like a part of her was missing? Why did she feel such longing to be back on Earth? Healer was finally home where she belonged! Why? Why?
A knock at her to jump slightly. Healer was not expecting any visitors. Tossing her legs over the side of the bed, the silver-haired senshi walked over to the door and twisted the brass knob open. "What is it, Fighter?"
Fighter grabbed the shortest of the Starlights by the shoulder and drug her outside. "I've looked all over for you!" she huffed as she ignored Healer's struggles. "Hush! Kakyuu-hime needs us."
That made the silver-haired senshi pause in her fighting. "Kakyuu-hime?" Her bright green eyes turned serious as she reached up and tossed Fighter's hand off of her. "Understood. I'm going ahead." With those words said, Sailor Star Healer took off in a quick sprint in the general direction of the Fireball Princess's temple, vanishing in the horizon.
The dark-haired senshi ran her fingers through her hair, shaking her head. "Mou..." Fighter smiled brightly as she followed the path her comrade took, catching up with the shorter woman easily. She grinned at Healer and picked up her pace, zooming pasted her. "Race you."
Healer felt her eyes widened before that narrowed in challenge. "You're on!" Pushing more strength into her legs, the silver-haired senshi caught up with Fighter slowly gaining the upper hand on Sailor Star Fighter. She flashed her friend a challenging grin as she picked up more speed and leaped into the sky.
"Oi! That's cheating!" Fighter frowned as she launched herself up, landing gracefully on her feet and glared at Healer.
Healer smirked at her partner. "You didn't give any rules." she turned on her heels and walked inside the palace.
Fighter scowled at the back of the silver-haired senshi. "Obnoxious little...CHIBI!" after her rant, Sailor Star Fighter opened the door of the Fireball Princess's temple and immediately dropped to her knees before her princess after taking her spot between Healer and Maker.
Kakyuu smiled down at her senshi before telling them to rise. Once they were to their feet, the red-haired princess pushed herself out of her throne and walked over to Maker, cupping the tall senshi's face in her hands. "Maker. I want you to be truthful. Do you feel a sense of loss since you came back to Kinmoku?"
Maker averted her eyes from the princess's all-knowing red orbs, shame filling her body as she nodded slowly. "Yes, Princess, I have. Forgive me."
The Fireball Princess spoke gently to the red-brown haired senshi. "There is nothing to forgive." She skipped over Fighter and placed her hands on Healer's face, cupping her cheeks in both hands. "Healer. I ask you the same. Do you feel a sense of loss since you returned to Kinmoku."
Healer felt her eyes sting with tears as she nodded. "I don't know why, Princess! I feel a longing to be back on the planet Earth!" she sunk to her knees, cover her face with her hands. "I belong here by your side, protecting you!"
Kakyuu felt her heart go out to her silver-haired senshi. "Do you want to know why?"
Sailor Star Healer paused her sorrows, glancing up at her princess with tear filled eyes. "Yes, I do. I want to know why I feel like a piece of me is missing."
"You left your heart back on Earth." the Fireball Princess said simply.
Chiba Mamoru ran his fingers through his thick black hair as he struggled with the equation written on the paper before him. He knew that he should be packing up for his flight back to Japan, but he just could not concentrate on such trivial things. Yes, he was about to get married. Yes, he did love Usagi. Yes, he knew about their future together...but why was he second guessing himself now?
Slender arms wrapped around his neck as warm lips pressed against his neck soothingly, easing away his stress. Mamoru smiled gently and placed his hand over the small, delicate hand that rested on his chest and nuzzled it to his face. "Sarah, what are you doing in my room."
A soft giggle was heard as a tall woman with dark brown hair pinned up in an elegant bun sat in his lap. "Well, you was work so hard today, I thought I'd help you take some stress off your mind." she cupped his cheek in her hand, her clear green eyes locked with his deep blue orbs as she leaned in for a kiss.
Mamoru sighed into her warm, sweet kiss as he lost himself in her scent. Sarah was the reason why he was second guessing his marriage to Usagi. She was his roommate and they had so much in common, like she was his better half. Sarah knew that he had a girlfriend back in Japan, but they had such a strong attraction that she could not bring herself to feel bad.
Sarah pulled away from Mamoru, smiling gently. "Mamoru, you need to finish packing. Our plane is leaving tomorrow at dawn."
He pulled her in for another soft kiss. "I know." he sighed and ran his hand down his face. "I've messed up so bad. I'm hurting Usako."
"Mamoru, it's not your fault." Sarah whispered as she rose from his lap. "Usagi will understand."
Mamoru shook his head. "No. This will really hurt her. She's expecting me to marry her when I return."
Sarah gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. "You didn't tell me that." She hugged him tightly. "Oh Mamoru, what are we going to do? We're committing adultery! "
The Prince of Earth grabbed the brunette by the chin and silenced her with a deep kiss. "Calm down, Sarah. Go pack your bags. I have to finish up this assignment." He gave her a gentle push towards the door. "Let me handle this...tryst... okay?"
The brunette nodded. "See you in the morning."
Mamoru smiled warmly at her. "Sweet dreams, Sarah."
I know. This plot has been used way too many times now, but trust me when I say this: My fic will be completely different from any other "Am I Not Good Enough" Seiya/Usagi fanfic out there.
Please stay with me if you like it or not and leave me a nice review please!
~Kirei Ai Tenshi