This will be a 3 part story. I don't own any of the characters. Please review and let me know what you think.
Tears run down her face as she stares at him through the glass and wonders how life became so screwed up. How this could have happened to such a strong and powerful man... the most powerful man in the world. She can't remember when last she ever felt this way...that is...IF she had ever felt this way. How had her life come to such a crashing halt? How had it been turned upside down?
She never thought that there might come a day wherein he wouldn't exist, wherein she wouldn't see him, albeit from afar, but still see him... alive... breathing... living... She quickly wipes the tears that roll down her cheeks. She needs to be strong for Cyrus, his children and even Mellie. She needs to handle this, she needs to handle Fitz's shooting and yet she's at a loss as to how she'll do this. She Olivia Pope, who is known as the most best fixer in the country, who can control any situation, handle any bad occurrence feels helpless and doesn't know how she'll fix this.
The love of her life is lying in a coma in ICU and all she can feel is anger and sadness, but most of all she feels regret. She regrets leaving him, she regrets asking him to let her go and then letting him do so. She regrets not fighting harder for their relationship and attempting to move on and away from him with Edison. She regrets pushing him away by belittling their history, not trusting him during the Amanda Tanner problem and hurting him in the process. Most of all, she regrets not telling him often enough that she is and always will be in love with him, that she does love him still and that he is and will always be the love of her life.
She just wants him to wake-up and hear his voice again, hear him call her his sweet baby, see him smile, look at her as if she's his most precious and prized possession and tell her that he'll never let her go. That they're in this together and that she owns his heart and always will. She wants to tell him that she'll wait for him, that she'll wait until his term is over as president so that they can finally be together. She wants to tell him that she wants babies... his babies and grow old with him.
Olivia turns and doubles over from pain gasping. She feels her throat constrict and her lungs hurting every time she attempts to breathe in air. She feels a familiar hand rubbing her back, soothing her. "Breathe Liv...just breathe..." Cyrus says brokenly. In this moment their past and fights are forgotten. She knows he is also hurting and worried. Fitz was... No, IS she berates herself, like a son to Cyrus. She grasps his other and gasps again as she feels her heart breaking. "Liv! Breathe!" Cyrus commands now very worried about her. He's seen Olivia in almost every mood from happiness, sadness and anger (which lately is mostly directed at him) but he's never seen Olivia this wrecked. The strong, determined and proud girl he mentored is gone...she's broken.
She hears Cyrus commanding her to breathe again and calling a nurse. Everything hurts and she feels as if she's going to die if she doesn't get air into her lungs soon. 'Get up Olivia... you're stronger than this...don't show them your weakness... you need to handle this...contain it' rolls through her mind. She can taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips as she slowly forces her body to relax and take in air. She sees the nurse approaching and forces her body to stand up straight, slowly breathing in and out. She quickly wipes her tears..."I'm fine" she says to the nurse as she reaches her. "Liv, you couldn't breathe, let the nur..." she hears Cyrus say disbelievingly. "I'm fine!" she snaps forcefully, interrupting him.
She looks at Cyrus and sees him shaking his head at her and then nod at the nurse that she's not needed any longer. "We need to handle this situation Cyrus. We need to let the country know that they still have a president and that there is nothing to fear" Olivia says to him determined. "Liv, no, it's understandable if you need to rest and time to think things through, to cry, to worry... You loved him and he most definitely loved you...I'm sorry that I came between you and that I didn't respect the two of you enough to respect your relationship" Cyrus says sadly whilst holding both her hands in his now. "We need to order a press conference, assemble the necessary aids and security, and get Mellie to give a speech." She continues ignoring Cyrus's statement. "Olivia! It's not your job to do any of that. You don't work for the White House anymore! You quit! Why won't you just listen for once and take time during this terrible event to just care for you? Stop acting insensitive and untouchable. Why don't you stop thinking of yourself as a fixer and just be human like I've just seen?" He demands angrily, almost shouting at her.
"How dare you speak to me like that Cyrus" She demands, letting go of his hands. "Do you want to know why I need to do this? Why I have to hide my emotions and act untouchable Cyrus?" she scoffs furiously crossing her arms like a shield in front of her. "It's so that I don't break further... so that I don't feel my heart shattering into a million pieces, so that I don't hate myself for giving up on us... on him... for hurting him." She whispers quietly. "This job, this task that needs fixing is the only thing keeping me together... keeping me from breaking more than I already have. If Fitz..." she quickly wipes away a tear from her cheek. "If the president doesn't make it, I don't think I will either." She says to a silenced Cyrus. "I need to get my mind off the fact that He's in a coma and the doctors aren't sure when he'll wake up. It could be a day... months or even years. I need to do this." She says determined and exhausted.
Olivia sees the pain in Cyrus' eyes as she tells him this. Knowing he is worrying about her just as much as he is worried about Fitz. Cyrus nods his head and that's all the confirmation she needs as she turns and dials Quinn to ensure everyone is assembled at the Olivia Pope and Associates offices within the hour. She looks down at her dress and thinks that before she goes to the office she needs to change into something more powerful...a suit that will make her a gladiator and give her strength to get through this.