Disclaimer. I don´t own the thunderbirds... *snik...*


"If you give me one good reason than ..." I said threatening as I walked stamping toward the door. I had to get out before I did something I would regret later, like break Gordon's nose. Unfortunately Virgil blocked the door, I glared angry at him.

"Stay calm, Take a deep breath." said a voice in my mind I voice I´ll never hear again and knowing that hurt me more than anything in the world. "Stay calm."

"What then baby brother?" Laughed twenty-five year old Gordon from the couch. "What do you wanna do?" All throughout the day, uhm days, he irritated me by doing like my life interested him. Like he knew me.

Almost I said, "I may be the youngest, but that does not mean I should be treated like a baby. Why when I am at school I am invisible to all of you and once I'm home everyone is watching over me as a watchdog. I don´t need to talk and can take care of myself on the mainland. I'm twenty-one! Come on! It's not that you really know me. I would even be quite surprised if you even have any idea who James was." But swallowed the words before they could do any damage. What I felt couldn´t easily be solved.

"I would watch my Bird if I was you." I snapped at Gordon, I turned my back to Virgil and walked towards the other door that was now being blocked by John. I was trapped. I squeezed my hands into fists and tried to remain calm, deep breaths. "Remember, tomorrow you're out of here. Ignore them and hang on." I said to myself without the rest hearing it. "Nose in, mouth out." In my mind I heard the voice of my best friend. "Under every anger is hidden pain, find that pain and try to solve them without letting go of the anger." Wise words.

"Alan ..." sighed my thirty year old and oldest brother Scott. "The problem is not that we don´t trust you, it's the rest that we don´t trust. What if you get in touch with the wrong people? People who want to make fast money from Jeff Tracy by abducting his youngest son? "

"I'm also alone at school? And holidays." I said and I pulled my arms up in irritation. "It's not that I'm not alone then."

Since I had made a point, it remained silent. "Why do you want to go so badly to London?" Asked the twenty-eight-year-old John, the only blond haired Tracy beside me, curious. He was always calmness himself and thought before he said anything and even deeper about things that were said. Normally it was nice, he was the only brother I had still a little faith in. But now I hoped that Fermat and Brains were down instead on Thunderbird 5 for John. "Why can not you wait until Dad gets back?" He continued. "He's back tomorrow, can´t you wait until then?"

"I have an appointment that I can´t move." I said in a tone that indicated that I didn´t want to talk about it anymore.

That didn´t stop Virgil. "What for important appointments could you have?" He said mockingly. "You're nothing you do but getting into trouble at school. School is over Alan. Time for a new meaningful life to start. Time to grow up."

I closed my eyes to keep in control.

"What I do is my business. It´s none of your concern" I snapped. "And may I please go outside?" I couldn´t tell them that I had to go to the funeral of my best friend. Then they were even more overprotective and concerned about me.

"Alan, you can´t keep running away from your problems." Twenty-six year old Virgil put his hand on my shoulder. "You can talk to us." hopefully I glanced at his door but he was now guarded by Gordon, who jumped off the couch.

Scott came to me and forced me to look into his eyes. "You know," he said. "You can say anything against us. Running is useless, talking helps."

"Watch me." I said. I shook my brothers hands off me and ran to the open window. Somewhere in my mind I knew it was a bad idea. It wasn´t high but we weren´t close to the ground either. Yet I dove through the window and let myself fall down after a few meters.

In the distance I heard my brothers call my name panicked. I rolled to break my fall and broke into a run.

"ALAN! COME BACK!" Scott shouted furiously but I ignored it. Blind I kept running away from the beach to the edge of the jungle. Nobody can keep up with me, I wasn´t English running champion for nothing.

Far away on my own hiding spot, I sat down and pulled my knees up, wrapping my arms around them. Here was it safe for my tears to fall. Never before had anyone found me here.

Since we moved here to our own private island, and actually before the move, I had need spots to be away from my overprotective brothers and their teasing and bullying, especially their bullying to be honest. I've found several places, spread over the whole island, places where I can hide safely. This has the best view of the sunset and the sea. James would have loved it here.

James is ... was ... is my best friend. He will always remain my best friend, no one can replace him. No one.

A few weeks ago during the finals he didn´t feel so good. He was absent and was startled by little every sound, every touch. I took him to the hospital after he crashed. Brain tumor. Terminally.

A few days later, he was gone.

Tomorrow is the funeral. That was the reason I had to go London.

James. He and I were inseparable. The teachers at Whalton didn´t called us the Walton twins because we looked like each other. We did by the way. All the people who knew us thought we were brothers. We are nothing without the other. We weren´t afraid to turn the school upside down, or the whole country for that matter. It was more often than not, we were sitting together in the headmasters room, laughing our ass off. Not that we were in deep trouble. Often he could laugh with us, as long as our grades stayed the way they are.

The sun had gone under and cooled down quickly. With my sleeve I rubbed my tears away. I'll have missed dinner. Fine. Marcus will be angry at me because I didn´t take care of myself.

I pushed myself up, brushed myself off, took a deep breath and went on my way home. Through the airway I sneaked inside. Since the attack of the Hood on our island, at least seven years ago, I crawled regularly inside and outside the house this way. The way to get in unnoticed.

Above my room, I opened the door and let myself fall onto my bed. I kicked off my shoes and fell asleep.


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I´ll update soon!