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The next morning, way too early, my alarm went off. Someone had pulled my sweater off and helped me into my pajamas . I was also tucked in. Fine, I´m grown-up and they still do that.

With a little difficulty, I wrestled myself free from the blankets.

I hadn´t even packed out my suitcase, I thought it was too much trouble, knowing that I won´t stay here long. I even had my other stuff from this house removed. Out of the closet I took the last stuff and put them in my suitcase. I grabbed the picture of my mother and baby me from the nightstand and put them on top of the rest of the stuff. The room was now officially no longer mine. Now it was time that I freshen myself up, I chose a pair of jeans and shirt and put them on.

On my desk, I wrote a little note for my brothers.

I'm sorry,

There's something I must do before graduation. On my own.

That means without you guys.

Just leave me alone. I'll explain everything later.

I see you on Whalton in about three days.

Alan

Softly I sneaked out of my room. Scott lay down by my door sleeping on a chair. Had he spent the whole night on that chair? Great, I almost felt guilty, almost.

I ran back quickly and grabbed my blanket and letter. I tucked Scott in and put my letter in his hand. Humming something, he turns around and continue sleeping with the piece of paper pressed against him.

Through the kitchen, where I fulled my bag with food for the road, I walked to the aircrafts. The hanger was dark and deserted. It fit my mood.

After the usual steps, think of fastening luggage, flight plan, I got in touch with Fermat.

The headphones I put a spin on my head. "Tracy One to Thunderbird five. Thunderbird five, you receive me," I said into the microphone.

"Tracy One, I hear you loud and clear. Tracy One, you have permission to take off. And Alan? Good luck. "Did Fermat said. He had already graduated two years ago but knew James very well. Fermat had received an invitation for the funeral as well and immediately wanted to come down to help me but I couldn´t allow that. He had work to do.

"Thanks." My voice full of emotion. "I'll call you when it's over."

"You know. If you need anything ... "

"Jah I know. Thank you. Fermat, my choice ... you know that it has nothing to do with you." I asked cautiously.

"I know. Alan." The twenty-two year old techie also had a lump in his throat. "We´ll keep in touch right?"

"You're a good friend Fermat ..." I said with difficulty.

"But not good enough. I'm sorry."

"Fermat. Don´t sell yourself short. You're everything a Tracy could wish for in a friend. I'll call you soon. When everything is over and I sorted some stuff out."

"Again good luck, bye." At the end I realized that he hadn´t even stuttered. I said my goodbye, hung up and sent the plane into the air. Moments later, when everything seemed quiet, I put it on autopilot, threw the headphones off and hanged back with a sigh.

"If what is over? and why does he is he wishing you goodluck?" sounded behind me. "Choice's? What is this all about? Did I miss something?"

Startled, I turned around and looked straight into the blue eyes of John. "What? How? "

"If you sneak into the house without being seen, I assumed that the hangar was no problem as well. I understand you want to be alone but doesn´t help. Alan, talk to me." He begged. "Believe me, it helps. Whatever Fermat is talking about, I want to help you no matter what." I remained silent and looked at him in pain. "Okay, I understand that the last few years we have never listened what you had to say but that will change now." I kept quiet and John began to lose his patience. "Alan, you can tell me now where we are going or I turn this plane and I lock you in your room until graduation. "

My eyes began to tear up and I got a lump in my throat. Only now I felt the tears run down my cheeks, but I knew I had to keep them in. John looked at me shocked, since my mother's death I hadn´t cried with my family near me. Without saying anything, he came to me and wrapped his arms around me. I buried myself in his embrace.

"I want to know one thing." He whispered in my ear. "You're okay right? There is nothing wrong with you? "

I shook my head against shoulder and lifted so I could look in his eyes. Slowly I began to tell everything. Well almost everything. Okay I left a lot out. But John really listened and wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"Why didn´t you say anything?" His voice sounded sad.

"I wanted to be left alone." I sobbed, that was the truth. "I didn´t want Scott to keep bugging me. You would keep your talk about faith and stars. Virgil would tell me all medical aspects of James disease and tell me over and over again that there was nothing I could do to save him. Or Gordon trying to make me laugh while I'm not in the mood. Dad would come back to the island to support me and I know that he had looked forward to this holiday. I believed that I could deal with it." Actually I didn´t lied to him. I kept behind the main reason.

"Can I come with you? I promise to leave you alone but let me go with you. You can use support. I know you can do it alone. You don´t have to prove yourself too me. But you´re still my little brother. I can´t go back home without knowing for certain that you´re okay and have someone to talk to when you're ready. The rest doesn´t need to know what we are doing. When you're ready you can tell them yourself. But let me come with you." He almost begged.

I nodded and dried my tears. "Thanks John. You promise not to turn overprotective brother on me?" I asked to be sure.

"No, I´ll be standing sidelines until you need me. Promise." He pulled me to him again one more time and let me go. "Lie down on the couch for a few moments. You look like a dead man walking." I crawled together and John immediately offered his apologies. "Sorry, wrong choice of words."

"There is overprotective brother again." I muttered, but still I went to the back of the plane. I felt John´s eyes watching me but I didn´t look back.


Let me know what you think. Should I continue with both story´s or leave this one on hiatus?

xoxox Flora