Chapter 37-Keep Dreaming


Walking in my playroom always makes me feel powerful. Not in the same way I feel powerful in my business but a power that I have control over everything that happens in here. Everything I could ever imagine, every fantasy is mine whenever and however I choose to fulfill it. When I enter the room the smell of citrus and wood calms me. Looking in the far left corner I see a familiar, pale, naked body bent over the table waiting for instruction. After walking to the chest of drawers and claiming some items that will bring this encounter to award-winning heights I stand behind this beauty and feel the sexual energy bouncing off her. She is aroused and excited and scared all at the same time. As she should be.

Wearing only my faded blue jeans with the button popped open at the top I blindfold her before running my fingernail down her spine causing her to arch her back. I run my nail down the full length of her spine once more than follow it back not stopping until I glide over her ass and through her slick folds. She is gloriously wet for me and the feeling invites my fingers to explore her. With the small bullet shaped vibrator in my hand I slip in inside her and turn it on to a pulsing tempo instead of a steady vibration.

While the toy is working its magic I take the brown riding crop and flick her ass and clit with soft calculated it hits. Hearing the sounds of moaning and pleasure bouncing off the walls fills my ears and makes my cock harden.

"Hush now."

"Yes sir," a raspy voice whispers but I can't register the sound due to the anticipated excitement that hits me when I choose my next weapon of choice.

I drop the riding crop and move on to a hard wooden paddle with holes throughout. This will make her ass a wonderful shade of pink. With the bullet still inserted I step back and lay a hard smack on her ass with the paddle. It feels so good to get out my aggression and I feel in control again. Another smack to the ass harder this time gets me into my zone and I am in full Dom mode. A third and a fourth blow smacks against her ass with such force my hand stings from the vibration of the paddle. This is it… this is me in all my 50 shades…oh god my dick is so hard I can barely contain myself. I pull back and see that her ass is welting up into a fiery red color. One final harsh blow and she is sent over the edge into a mind blowing orgasm. I pull out the bullet and sink myself into her soft tight folds that are still throbbing from her orgasm. As I pound into her at a fierce pace I grab her braided hair and wind it around my wrist to get better leverage. A few more hard thrusts and I empty myself into her before collapsing onto her back.

"Thank you master."

What the fuck? Anastasia doesn't call me master. I remove myself from her and order her to stand. When she complies and I remove the blindfold I realize that it is not Anastasia at all. It is Leila. How the hell did she get in here? Oh my god. I just fucked Leila. How is this happening?

"Leila why are you here."

"To please you master. I only want to please you."

"You shouldn't be here. I love Anastasia. You need to leave."

"What does she have that I don't have?" Leila asks. Her eyes are sad and downturned. I am not going through this with her right now. She needs to get out before Anastasia finds her in here.

"Leila you have to go," I say as I take her arm to usher her out.

In the far corner something catches my eye. It is Anastasia. She was standing in the corner the whole time watching as I paddled and fucked Leila. She looks broken and tears are streaming down her face.

"Anastasia, I can explain."

"No need to explain Christian. I saw it. I saw what you did and how much you enjoyed it. This is what you need. This is what I can't do for you," her voice is eerily calm.

"No Anastasia, it's not what I need. I thought it was you."

What have I done? How could I have been so stupid and not realize it wasn't Ana. 'Because they are all the same Grey. Little brown-haired girls. One no different then the other.' Except Ana is different. She is my more. I love her. I would never hurt her. I would never do what I just did to Leila to her. 'So than you knew it wasn't her? Which is it Grey?' This damn subconscious of mine is to smart for his own damn good.

"It will never be me Christian. I told you I couldn't do these things. I told you I am no good for you. I would have never let you paddle me that way. You should be with someone who can fulfill all your needs," Anastasia kisses my cheek and exits the room.

Oh my god. What have I done? She left me. Again. I am no good for her. I am a dark and twisted son-of-a-bitch. Everything I touch turns to shit. How am I going to fix this? I have to get to her before she goes running back to Cross. I love her.


The warmth of the room is stifling. Sweet is trickling down my back as my body moves with the rhythm of the music. The thump of the drums pounds in my chest and the sound of the guitar fill my ears and as my body looses itself in the reverberation. Standing in front of the stage watching Brett sing while his lips part over the microphone almost seductively. The way his hands caress the microphone is erotic. As Kate and I sway to the sound Brett watches me while he sings with sexy undertones in his voice. His tongue gently moistening his lips between words as he undressed me with his eyes has me nearly panting in my spot. Chancing a quick glance over to Kate to see if she notices shows me she is more interested in Elliot groping her then whatever eye fucking Brett and I are doing.

The music stops and I am backstage with Brett telling him what a great concert it was. With a nod to one of the other band members the room is empty. Brett locks the door and saunters over to me taking his shirt off before he is standing right in front of me. My eyes avert to the black ink that is outlined on his strong arms, his chiseled chest and his perfectly sculpted abs. He is much bulkier than Christian but he doesn't nearly have the power behind his eyes.

As he towers over me, my chest heaves with lust. The arousal and heat thrum through the air in waves. Without even realizing how it happened I am standing perfectly naked in front of him with nothing but a smile on my face. For every step he takes forward I take a step back until I fall onto a dark, black leather couch. Brett hovers over me with lust and desire in his eyes and my legs part to give him the access he is asking for. Mr. Rock god is kissing and biting me all over and my body reacts with ease as he fills me to the hilt with himself.

Thump! Thump! Thump! Someone is knocking at the door but I can't register what is happening. Blood is rushing to my ears and I am mesmerized with the green eyes that are boring into me as pleasure fills me over and over again. Thump! Thump! Thump! CRACK!

The door slams open and Gideon fills the space in the door frame. His chest is heaving and anger is radiating through his body. Gideon walks into the room and slams the door behind him. Brett never stops. He keeps his menacing pace and doesn't avert his eyes from my face. Gideon watches us enjoy each other and I can see his hardness stretching through his designer black slacks. He is enjoying the show but his anger is still visible in the lines in his face.

Gideon walks over to the couch and yanks me out from under Brett by my arms. I am watching his deep blue eyes boring into mine. His inky black hair disheveled around his perfectly chiseled face takes my breath away. His lips crash into mine and can feel his yearning for me in his kiss. His chest rises and falls heavily with each passing breath. Brett is behind me with my legs parted and his fingers inside me. Too much. It is all too much. My body can't register all the decadence that is happening. With a few more thrusts I am coming hard all over Brett's hand as Gideon holds me up by my arms close to his chest.

Gideon takes off his pants and sits on the couch with me facing away from him. He is a big boy by anyone's measure so he takes his time lowering me onto his shaft. With one slow thrust I am stretching over him and he moans with feral need. As he glides me up and down his hands reach around to massage my breasts. Brett is in front of me stroking himself allowing me to adapt to Gideon's girth. After a few more pounding thrusts Brett positions himself so I can take him in my mouth. The feeling of Gideon under me and Brett in front of me makes me moan in pleasure which in turn makes Brett more turned on from the vibrations coming from my mouth. I can feel Gideon's thighs harden and I know he is close. I pull Brett further into my mouth and I can feel him about to cum as well. After a few more hard pulls we are all coming together in perfect harmony. Gideon grinds out the last of his orgasm as I milk him from the inside. Brett holds onto my shoulders tight while I lick him clean. I collapse onto Gideon's rock hard body and catch my breath while closing my eyes.


My eyes shoot open and I gasp in fear. Where am I? Oh my god it was just a dream. She is here. She never left me. Oh thank god.


When I reopen my eyes I am wearing a white dress in a field of wild flowers. Christian is standing next to me in a black suit and classical music fills the air. He takes my hand and we sweetly dance in perfect harmony. I feel like I am walking on air. When I look down I realize I AM walking on air. The earth below us has melted away and Christian holds me tight. I can feel his heartbeat matching mine. His loving Grey eyes watch me and make me feel loved and wanted. No one is the world can compare to Christian. The past is the past and our future is each other. The lust and the empty desire is nothing compared to the love and adoration we have. He is mine and I am his.

I can feel him touching me. I can hear him calling my name. Not in my dreams or in my imagination but he is really here. His scent fills my nostrils and I can feel his heat all around me. He is here.


After some pretty amazing sex, a well-deserved nap, and a painful nightmare, I have the privilege of waking up to the goddess next to me. She looks like Athena wrapped up in a white sheet sleeping soundly next to me. Her chestnut colored hair fanned over the pillow and her ruby, red lips parted slightly as she breathes softly. I could watch her sleep for hours. Her peace brings me peace. Her joy brings me joy. Her presence gives me hope for a future. She has agreed to be my wife and for the rest of my days I will make her happy. I will make her happy and she will be mine.

When I put that ring on her finger she will be truly mine. Mine to treasure, mine to love, and mine to fuck whenever I damn well see fit. All this hearts and flowers nonsense is well and good and all but it has been far too long since I have been in my playroom with her. I want to show her she is enough for me. This vanilla sex is amazing but I want to help Anastasia see how good it can be for us both so she is no longer scared that I need more. I want to take her places she didn't imagine existed. I will have to be slow and patient but she has showed me in the past few weeks that she is up or the challenge and I am pretty sure she can handle some of the excitement that the playroom brings. I understand the hard stuff is off the table but that is fine by me. I couldn't ever do that to her. The belt and the whips and the canes are gone. I want our playroom-hummm our playroom- theres a thought….I want our playroom to be a place of joy for her. I want all the bad memories gone and replaced by memories of sheer bliss. I want the ghosts of my playroom's past to be gone and only Ana's sweet memories to live there.

Anastasia stirs and the sheet falls off her naked breasts. It takes every bit of self-control I can muster not to hop on top of her and fuck her senseless, but all good things must come to an end and we will be landing soon so we have to get up. Teasing is never off the table though. I flick my tongue over her peaked nipple and she stirs a bit more. As I pull off the sheet a little more to expose her other breast she arches her back to me. She is always so responsive to my touch and I can feel my dick hardening. Damn it. Game over. We really have to get up. I can't get myself so worked up yet.

"Anastasia," I whisper as I gently kiss her neck.


"Baby you have to wake up. We will be landing soon."

"Ummmm," she groans and rolls over onto her stomach.

"Come on beautiful girl. You can't get in the car naked." I snicker.

Her eyes flick open and for a moment she looks...lost, scared even. When our eyes meet she relaxes and lets out a small chuckle. I look at her confused and crinkle my brows.

"What's so funny?"

"Just a silly dream."

"Care to share?"


"No, huh. Well, Miss Steele. I think you have misbehaved in your dreams. You're intriguing me to probe further into your psyche. Dreams are a window to your subconscious you know. "

"Really, well if me in a white dress and you in a dark suite surrounded by a meadow of wild flowers is misbehaving then I am guilty and may need to be punished again."

She flips on top of me and kisses me deeply as I fun my hands up and down the outside of her thighs.

"Maybe you do. But it will have to wait. We are landing soon and we need to get dressed."

"Fine. I can't wait to be home anyway. I feel like I haven't been in a long time."

"I am glad that you consider Escala home already."

"Do I have a choice in the matter? I am not going back to the apartment that you bathed Leila in and besides I would miss you too much. I kind of like waking up with you Mr. Grey."

"Glad to hear it. Miss Steele because I wouldn't have it any other way."


"Mia I have told you I am sorry. There was an issue that I needed to take care of and I had to go."

"Yea, I know Luke you told me already. Christian comes first. I get it. What was so pressing that you had to leave in a hurry."

"Mia that's not fair. I still work for your brother. I was doing my job. You know I can't tell you what I was doing."

"Is it always going to be like this? Your life is not your own? Christian snaps his fingers and you run like a lap dog and I am not allowed to even know what you're doing."

"This is my job Mia. Stop being such a brat about this. There is a certain level of privacy that I cannot breach with you."

"A brat! You think I am being a brat? You left me standing there with the realtor and my parents totally mortified while you ran to Christian's aide."

"And I apologized for that. You can choose to be an adult and accept it or you can choose to be a child and pout."

Mia crosses her arms over her chest and I know our dinner plans are out the door. She needs to understand that my job is to protect people. It is not 9 to 5 as she would like and there will be times I will have to run out to handle a situation. That is why I am opening my own business. Once I do I won't have to be at anyone's beck and call. I will have employees to handle that for me.

"This is bullshit Luke. You can't run out every time Christian has a psycho tied to his bed or something," Mia says and holds her hand over her mouth as soon as the words are out.

Her eyes widen with fear as I piece together what she just said. My face gets cold and angry. Why would she say that? I know the bluntness of Mia is astounding but I am not curious on how much she actually knows about Christian's lifestyle. I grab her elbow and lead her to the office. I don't want Grace and Carrick to hear anything that may flow out of Mia's mouth.

"Sit!" I tell her in a very angry tone. I don't want Christian's shit rolling around in my wife's head. "Spill Mia. Why would you say what you said?"

"I am sorry Luke. I didn't mean to…I don't know…"

"What do you know Mia? Tell me," I lower my tone to a whisper.

"I have seen it Luke," she says while twisting her hands in her lap and looking at the floor.

"Seen what?"

She will have to be very specific for me to broach this subject with her.

"Jesus Luke don't play dumb with me. I know what my brother does in his spare time. The kinky sex clubs he goes to. I have been there. I saw it for myself."

Holy shit. I don't know how to talk to her about this. She is going to need to be really specific. God damn it, how does she know about any of this.

"Tell me what you think you know Mia. What do you mean by you were there? What exactly did you see?"

"I'm sorry Luke. I didn't want to make you mad. I am just being a brat you are right. Lets forget about this."

"No, you will tell me exactly what you are talking about right now."

After a few uncomfortable moments I take a deep breath and calm down. Greys BDSM shit would scare the hell out of any normal human being and for Mia to have somehow seen a part of it…well lets just say my emotions aren't exactly in check right now.

"Mia, please. You can tell me, baby. I want to know," I plead with her.

She looks uncomfortable as if she is reliving a bad memory. But soon finds her voice.

"Last year, before I left for Paris, I wanted to spend some time with Christian so he invited me to stay with him for the weekend. He was in his office working for most of the day then he told me he had to leave for a few hours. He looked stressed out and angry. I didn't want to be alone so after he left I followed him. I was mad that he was blowing me off and I wanted to see why. I followed him until he stopped at some club. When he went inside I got angrier because I thought he had a date or something. I was pissed that he would rather spend time with someone other than me when I was leaving in a few days. I went in after him to give him a piece of my mind when I saw him walking through a door toward the back of the club. When I went to follow him Mrs. Lincoln stopped me," she stops and looks at my face. I am trying to keep on a passive mask but any time Elena Lincoln is mentioned I tend to be on high alert.

"Go on."

"Mrs. Lincoln took me to an office and asked why I was there. I explained that I followed Christian and I wanted to speak with him. She started telling me what kind of club this was and she told me I shouldn't be here. I told her I wasn't leaving without my brother and she just sat there looking at me for a while before asking me some pretty personal questions."

"What kind of personal questions?"

"Luke I don't want to talk about this," Mia looks back up to me searching my eyes for some understanding. Now it is the husband in me that is intrigued with her story and not Christian's security.

"It is alright Mia. Tell me please." I take her hand and sit close to her. Whatever she is about to tell me I am not going to like but I have to be here for her as her husband and her friend.

"She was asking if I was a virgin. How I like to have sex. Personal sexual stuff like that."

Mia pauses waiting for me to say something. If this is going in the direction I think it is going there is going to be one hell of a fall out for Elena Lincoln.

"Keep going Mia. Than what happened?"

"She asked if I wanted to see the kind of stuff that Christian was doing. I was curious so I said yes. She led me downstairs to a long hallway with doors on either side. I could hear whips cracking and people moaning. It was dark and I didn't actually see any people but I could hear them. Once we got to the end of the hall she opened a door and we both stepped inside. It was dark but cozy. There was a warmth to the room even know there was all kinds of whips and stuff hanging all around. When I asked Mrs. Lincoln what this was she said that it is a place for men and woman to meet and start a contractual relationship. Kind of like a dating service. She told me that some men with money find it hard to meet woman and are always looking for sweet girls like me to pamper and spoil," Mia's voice cracks and I feel her tears fall on my hand as I hold hers in her lap.

"Than what?"

"She asked if I was interested in meeting a nice guy who would treat me like a princess. She went on and on about how this was how rich powerful men meet good girls. She made it all sound really nice. Like it was a secret that no one else knew."

I bet she did. Some secret. Grey is going to flip out when he finds out and I am going to kill Elena Lincoln.

"Keep going Mia. Tell me."

"She said she had a nice man she wanted me to meet. She said he was a new there and he was looking for a girl about my age. She told me that since I was leaving in a few days this man would occupy my time until I left. I figured since Christian was off doing god knows what, Elliot was off doing god knows who, and my parents were busy working I would give it a shot. She told me I didn't have to have sex with him unless I wanted to…Luke she just made it all sound so innocent," Mia looks to me as if she is pleading her case. I can only imagine what comes next.

"It's okay Mia. Are you okay baby? I need to know the rest but if you need a minute…"

"No it's ok. I have to tell you this. You are my husband and I should tell you. I am just so…ashamed."

"You have no reason to be ashamed. You didn't know what was going on. Elena Lincoln should be the one ashamed. She took advantage of you."

Mia shakes her head and continues, "She left the room and came back with a guy in his early twenties. His name was Blake and she said he recently graduated from Yale and was working at his father's company. She left us to talk and after about an hour I agreed to have dinner with him the following night. He was very nice. He talked about his family and college. He was interested in me going to Paris and wanted to know all about me," Mia gives a tight smile as she says the last part. "We went to dinner and hung out for the next three nights. He was a perfect gentleman in every way from holding doors to pulling out my chair. Blake was a real charmer. The night before I left for Paris I told my family I was staying at a friend's house after the farewell dinner at my parents. I said my good-byes and Blake sent his driver for me. When I got there he was very sweet. He kissed me and poured me a glass of wine. We danced and as the night went on he said he wanted to show me his playroom. I was expecting some exaggerated arcade or something but when he opened the door I was shocked. There was a room that looked like the basement room in the club. It made me uncomfortable. Blake started to kiss me and told me how he wanted me to act. Even called me his sub. I didn't know what that meant so he explained it in more detail. I asked him some questions and he grew impatient. He said he though I was experienced and when I told him I never did this before he led me out of the room and closed the door. He was agitated but then he calmed down. I apologized for misleading him. He offered me another glass of wine and we talked some more. I felt a little funny afterward. Like I was tired. I probably had too much to drink. I don't remember falling asleep but when I woke up I was tied to his bed and he was spanking me with a paddle. I am not sure how I got there but I know it hurt. When he was done he untied me and we had sex. I don't remember much about that night. I didn't even start to remember until I was in Paris. The memory came back in pieces. The only reason I knew it was real and not a dream was because my ass hurt the next day and I had a 8 hour flight to sit on it. When he took me to the airport the next day he thanked me for a lovely evening and gave me a going away present in the form of a diamond pendant. He said it was to remember him by."

This fucker drugged and raped her. From the way she tells the story she doesn't see it that way, or maybe she doesn't want to face it. My poor girl. She is so innocent and naïve she doesn't know what happened to her was not consensual. God damn Christian and his bullshit and God help Elena Lincoln when I get my hands on her.

"Mia. Are you okay?"

"Yea. It is just weird I guess. I have never drank so much that I forget. I never told Christian. He would be mad if he knew I spent the night with someone like that. He is always so protective over me and I don't want him to worry about me. Anyway, I know that Christian was into that stuff too otherwise he wouldn't have been at that club so I guess that explains the no girlfriend thing. I don't want to embarrass him by telling him I followed him so can we just leave it be. It is embarrassing enough knowing I drank too much and had sex with someone I hardly knew. I don't need my brother knowing about it too."

I completely ignore her request to not tell Christian. You better well believe I will be discussing this with him. He is partly to blame for this happening. He led her there and he led her right to Elena.

"As long as you are okay baby. That's all that matters."

"I'm fine Luke. Really. I just thought you needed to know."

"Thank you for telling me. Now…how about some dinner."

We stand and embrace for who knows how long. I just want to hold my girl and keep her safe from the world around us.

A/N- I know I am going to be crucified for my dream sequence but I got so many PM requesting the threesome that Ana was thinking about in the board room I had to do it. Sorry that some of you think Ana is being slutty. I don't think she is but to each his own. Please also remember that Christian and Ana's dreams didn't happen. The talk between Luke and Mia does have a purpose I promise but it won't come out until much later. Hope you all enjoy.