Title: This Can't Be Happening
Author: M.Edison
Archive: Gossamer & Ephemeral
Rating: PG
Feedback: Yes please, keep it polite! But send to medison@thezone.net
Keywords: Reyesfic, Skinner/Reyes possibly Unrequited. ;-)
Spoilers: General ones for Season 9 a few eps
Warning: Not really beta'd.
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. If I did, well we won't get into that. ;-)
(And I know the title's similar to a Season 8 title but who cares? *G*)
Summary: Monica struggles with her own deepening feelings...for her boss.

"This Can't Be Happening"
by Medie

This can't be happening, it can't.

I refuse to accept it...no, I won't accept it.

I've been down this road before and *that* was an unmitigated disaster.
Great sexual chemistry but the relationship part was complete shambles.
Shambles that could not be salvaged, no matter how hard I tried.

I learned a valuable lesson from the disaster that was my relationship with
Brad Follmer; relationships with fellow agents do not work! Especially not
when said agent is also an Assistant Director who is your boss.

But, god, Skinner.

I shake my head vigorously as I approach my apartment door, hoping to
dispell the thought like the rain flying off my hair. Even thinking about
that...It's dangerous.

Thinking leads to dreaming and dreaming leads to emotions.

Emotions that I can't have. I can't do this again.

I can't risk falling in love with this man. I shouldn't even be thinking
about falling in love with this man.

But I am...

I am thinking about it and I am risking it. I'm fighting it with everything
I have but it's a war I seem to be losing.

I feel like I'm caught in a spider's web of my own emotions. The harder I
struggle, the more entangled I become. The irony of it is the more entangled
I get, the less I want to fight, the more I like it.

Curling up in my favorite chair - mug of steaming, hot coffee in hand - I
stare at the couch and rememeber a time when he sat there. It's a time no
one else in my reality can recall from when I briefly managed to cross the
barriers between realities and found myself in a world where my best friend
had been shot and I stood accused of the crime.

I can still remember the look in Skinner's eyes as he sat there. It was the
first time I actively wondered about my feelings for him...and his for me.

Walter Skinner is a man who hides his emotions well. When I am in his
presence, I am never sure how he feels about anything outside of work. He is
intensely passionate about what he believes in, and he believes in the
X-Files.

That is unmistakable. What is unclear is anything that falls under 'personal
' in his life. He admires Scully and Mulder, respects Jon and - I think -
thinks of him as a friend. But me? I don't know.

Sighing, I bring my mug to my lips. I'm not supposed to be thinking like
this. It makes it worse.

I lean my head back against the chair, my eyes finding the ceiling.

This can't be happening...

I can't love this man. I can't.

But I do. God help me I do.

This can't be happening...

But it is.

Finis