Dear Charlie,

Graduation and the parties were great and it was hard to say good bye to everyone, even if it was only until the end of the summer. It feels like that was so long ago, even if it has only been a week. That was very nice of you to surprise me by riding to Penn State with your brother so you could help me move in. I asked Patrick if he had anything to do with it. When he said no, it made me feel really special. You're very sweet, Charlie. Thanks again for the help.

I met my roommates a little while after you guys left. They're both looking into joining the sorority here and told me that I could use a makeover. It's going to be an interesting summer living with them. The three of us went to a party that night and they both disappeared as soon as we got there. I didn't mind, though, and ended up walking around once I got a beer and a cigarette. Everyone seemed to have their own cliques already. I guess it's not too different from high school, really. It was strange, because at times like this, I would just go find Patrick or one of you guys. So I guess it did bother me more than I thought it would when we first split up. I remember grabbing my third beer and going out back so I could call Mary Elizabeth. The phone service was really bad, though, so I just ended up going back to the dorm room.

Later that night, I met one of the guys who live across the hall. He was banging on our door, so I opened it and he shoved his lips to mine. I'm not telling you this to make you think of me in the way I asked you not to. What happened during the kiss was a little different, actually, and you really should know. I was really drunk at that point, so I kissed him back. He had me up against the wall, his leg between mine, and I moaned a name.

It was yours, Charlie.

Needless to say, I was as confused as I'm sure you are now. He looked confused too and seemed to come back down from whatever high he had been on for a moment. Then he went to kiss me again and I told him that I couldn't. Luckily, he did not try again after that. He even asked me about you. I told him that you are one of my best friends and he said that you must be more than that.

I've been thinking about it all week. It's been all I've really done besides going to classes and studying. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay if you want to think of me like you promised not to. It wouldn't be fair if I thought about you this way and told you to still not think of me like that.

I'm very sorry if I've made things a lot more complicated than they already were.

Love always,