02

Gene slams his fist against the desk, and a mini earthquake shakes his office, Sam included.

"How can you not bloody remember, Tyler ?"

"Honestly, I don't know, Guv. I... simply don't know."

"You what ?"

But that's all Sam has to say, because he can't explain what is going on in his mind. What happened yesterday morning already feels like the faded memory of an old movie seen years ago - black and white frames, as if he were outside the scene, watching the events from an external and detached point of view.

Moreover, there's the conclusion he came to, lying in his bed last night : he wasn't in that room with Lucy. He couldn't possibly have been. The minute he saw her face, someone else took his place. She insisted on referring to him as 'Harry', so maybe...

Maybe what ? That's enough with the crazy theories. He needs to stop right there, before going any further on that slippery lane.

And Sam needs to change the subject, even though he knows it will come back, rather sooner than later. He knows the Guv, that he won't let him get away without a realistic explanation for his sudden memory loss.

"So what happened, outside ?", asks Sam.

"Hasn't Miss Crumpet told you already ?"

"She won't talk to me."

Annie ignored him this morning, presumably because she thinks Sam knows a lot much than he tells her. Which is utterly wrong, but she refuses to listen.

"Mind you, she wasn't too chuffed when we heard 'bout your secret wife, Sammy boy."

"I don't have a secret wi...", sighs Sam, but it's no use. "How did you make her go out ?"

"I didn't. I tried to speak to her through the door, no answer. There came some poncy Hyde bloke, said he wanted to have a chat with your lass. I tell you what, he was rubbish. What can you expect from a copper from Hyde, eh ?"

"Not much", mumbles Sam ironically.

"Then an hour later, she decided she had 'nough of the babbling. Went out with the shooter. I shot first, end of the story."

"And who was this copper from Hyde ?"

"DI John Smith. Said you and him were best mates at the academy an'all."

"I don't know any DI Smith", frowns Sam. "Who called him ?"

"No one. He popped by for the party and disappeared before the ambulance arrived. And I was hoping you could enlighten me 'bout this mate of yours, Tyler, 'cause it turns out there's no DI Smith in Hyde at all !"

Best mates at the academy ? Sam has no idea who he could be, and the name doesn't help. There was that voice, though. He's sure he recognized a familiar voice as he left the Lost & Found room.

Sometimes, Sam feels like there's whole parts of his memory that are gone. Maybe he had known that DI Smith after all, and the amnesia is much larger than he thought.

"I'll find him", says Sam, even though he has no idea how and where to begin.

"Great. While you're at it, why don't you go to the hospital and ask your missus what was that all about ?"

"She's alive ?"

"Seems so. Now off you go, and pronto !"


Someone passes Sam by as he walks down the hospital's corridor. He instantly recognizes him, and not only because the man matches the description Chris gave him perfectly : tall scrawny bloke with big hair and specs, striped brown suit and red sneakers.

Sam knows that face, and he confusedly understands that some deep and old bond relies him to this man. Like Lucy, maybe like himself, Sam can tell the man belongs to a different time. Or maybe to no time at all. It's the strangest feeling, really.

"Doctor ?"

Now, why is he calling him Doctor ? Once again, someone else speaks through Sam.

But the man turns around, looks him in the eye.

"Do I know you ?"

But there's something in his eyes that reveals he recognizes Sam, and the question is just a vain attempt to deny it. And now Sam is absolutely sure, with no further evidence needed, that he's the man he's looking for.

"You're John Smith, right ? DI John Smith ?".

"I'm more of a doctor, actually", says the man with a smile. "And you are... ?"

"You're not a doctor", says Sam. "You were at the station yesterday. You talked to my DCI, said you knew me. And you talked to the girl, Lucy..."

"Ah, Lucy. I'm terribly sorry, but you're too late. She's died. I'm really sorry."

Sam knows he shouldn't feel sad for a woman who threatened to kill him, but really, as odd as it may be, he can't help it. It's like Lucy's always had a special little place inside him, amongst the shambles that his feelings are in - and now that she's gone, this little spot in his heart feels empty and cold.

Considering he wasn't supposed to know her at all, this is completely mad.

"So you knew her ? Lucy ?"

"I'm just a doctor", the man says. He tries to walk away, but Sam grabs him by the arm.

"No you're not. Why don't you tell me the truth ?"

The man sighs, searches through his coat's pockets, and shows him a card.

"Look. It says I'm a doctor, right ? Now if you could let go off me..."

"It's just a blank paper", says Sam, squinting at the card. "There's nothing on it."

"Well... Maybe. Doesn't work on you, does it ?"

"And maybe you were at the station yesterday."

"Alright, Sam. I was there. But all of it shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't even be here. But I was just trying to put things straight before... Y'know."

"Not really", says Sam, puzzled. "You're the one who's left the note on my desk, aren't you ?"

The man shrugs, and Sam takes that as a yes.

"So you know me, right ?"

"Maybe. I should really go now..."

"But how do I know you... Doctor ?"

"It's a long story. But well, it's over, and you shouldn't worry too much about it, right ?"

"It's not over. But.. Wait !"

The man runs off, and Sam follows. He chases him through the corridor, down the stairs, and at this precise moment, he knows he's already done that before. Running after this man brings forth an odd feeling of déjà vu.

As he runs outside the hospital, the man has vanished, but Sam is not really surprised. He wasn't expecting to catch him and have all his questions answered.


"Oh God no", sighs Sam as he enters his flat. "Not you again."

Lucy sits on the bed, her long hair disheveled, looking tired in her red Test Card girl dress. The room is an impossible mess, as if particularly thick burglars had ransacked the place in the hope of finding any valuable objects here.

But Lucy was indeed looking for something, the first time he saw her. Didn't say what it was though.

How could an hallucination actually have motives, anyway ? How could she want anything ? Sam has to remember himself she's not real, she's only in his head.

But maybe it's his own subconscious, trying to tell him something important. Maybe he should listen to himself.

Or maybe not.

"Where is it, Harry ?" she asks, raising her head.

"Would you stop calling me Harry ?"

What's wrong with his bloody subconscious ? Why does it insist on forgetting his own name ?

"Where is it, Sam ? It's not here, so where did you hide it? You know what I'm talking about. "

"No, actually, I don't."

She seems to hesitate, then she slowly walks to him, tilts her head to whisper on his ear. He's not afraid of her, Sam realises. He wouldn't let the Test Card girl this near him, let alone touch him. But it's different with Lucy, and when she comes near, her perfume reminds him of moments he could never possibly have lived, of her eyes closed, her soft lips and her tender arms around him.

The images disappear, chased away by real memories : Lucy shot, Lucy lying in an hospital bed - and above all, he knows he's seen her dead this afternoon.

If this was real, because at times he can't tell the difference between reality and his dreams.

And it doesn't get better.

"The watch", she says. "They want the watch."

"What wa..."

But her words have a particular resonance, and though he still doesn't know what she wants, the fact that she mentioned a watch means something to him.

A watch.

What about it then ?

"I don't know where it is", he hears himself saying. "Even if I did, why would I tell you ?"

"Because I'm your wife", says Lucy. "You used to love me. Or I thought you did, I don't know..."

She leans to kiss him on the cheek.

"Tell me you remember me."

"I don't."

"You do", she insists. "Sometimes you see me in your dreams. I know you do."

It's all blurred in his mind, incoherent images from a distant past or future. But he can't deny it. He knows Lucy. She means something to him.

He tends to forget it these days, but this version of her only exists in his mind.

As does the girl - the Test Card girl. Is it what Lucy means, when she says he sees her in his dreams ?

"You're her, aren't you ?" asks Sam. "That little brat that pretends to know everything about me ?"

"Dark Lucy", she says with a cold smile. "As there is a darker you, somewhere inside", she whispers, tapping his head.

"So you're saying you're the nice one ?"

"Help me find the watch, and you'll go home, Sam, I promise."

"Why would I trust you ?"

Something tells him he shouldn't, really. Something tells him her and 'Dark Lucy' are the same person, whatever she says about it. She's not nice, and she's not his friend.

"So it's not here", Lucy says. "I think you entrusted it to someone else's care. And who could that be... ?"

It would be Annie, thinks Sam, because he trusts her with so many things. But it's purely hypothetical, because he never gave the watch Lucy looks for to anyone, supposing it really exists.

"Go away", whispers Sam, tired to speak to his hallucination.

She winks, and so she does.