Spoiler Warning! Read at your own risk!
Full summary: What if instead of Ben and Kenny who 'died' (I put quotations around that because I don't totally believe in Kenny's death) in that alley in Savannah, it was Christa and Omid? Could they put aside their differences to help Lee save Clementine? Can one forgive the other for past mistakes?
Disclaimer: I don't own 'The Walking Dead'.
"CHRISTA NOOO!" Omid screeched in horror as the balcony beneath her creaked and weakened. She looked up, her eyes wide and full of terror before she plummeted down. Her hand reached out to try to grab onto Omid's, but fate had decided that she would slip from her boyfriend's hands. A grisly crack was heard from the rooftop. Christa's shriek was cut short as she made contact with the concrete on the ground. Kenny, Lee, Ben and Omid stared in horror at her crumpled body below. Without hesitation, Omid ran towards the ladder that led down the building and climbed down, desperate to help his girlfriend, desperate to see her okay. Lee's gaze followed him, as hard as stone. He turned towards Kenny and a shaken Ben.
"Omid and I got this. You two just stay here, okay?"
"Ya sure pal?" Kenny asked, worried, "She didn't look to good, it'd be faster if I went too and-"
"I don't want you to risk it. If something bad happens, you two might be her last hope." Lee said darkly. Lee looked at Ben and Kenny, his eyes clouded. "Just stay up here and watch each other's back. Don't turn on each other." He added those last words quickly, and in a flash, Lee followed Omid down the building. Kenny and Ben exchanged an awkward look.
Kenny's relationship with Ben... Wasn't exactly the most stable. If anything, it was more like an on and off sort of thing, a switch between moods. Their first encounter, Kenny didn't think much about Ben, just some scared kid surviving this shit just like him. As the days grew though... Kenny was able to tolerate the kid. The kid was a good guy, sure he screwed up and was stupid at times, but Kenny didn't actually dislike him or anything.
Until that is, the truth came out. About what Ben did back at The Motor Inn. The bandits. The deal. Katjaa and Duck. That's when Kenny felt like he was going to snap. This kid, this fucking kid, was the entire reason his family was dead. Gone. If he hadn't done any of the shit he did then they'd be alive! Kenny had every fucking reason to hate the kid. Kenny wanted the kid to die, to die as painfully as he could, to suffer just as much Kenny had when he lost it all.
But Ben had lost it all too. Maybe Kenny pushed Ben too far, maybe he was just too cruel, but when Ben openly yelled at Kenny, screaming at him about his family and how he didn't even know their fate, Kenny just felt... like a horrible man. Like some monster. He still felt mad, still felt angry, but was it really towards Ben? Could Kenny truly forgive this kid?
"He wants to die." Lee's words echoed in Kenny's mind. Ben wanted to die. He wanted Lee to let him go back at Crawford. Guilt had set in, he was glad he wasn't making that choice for Ben. Kenny was beginning to realize how broken Ben truly was, maybe as broken as him. Maybe I do have to take it easy on him from now on... Just... Fucking hell...
Ben looked at Kenny with the usual fear and nervousness in his eyes. Is the kid regretting standing up to me like that? ... Kenny shifted uncomfortably, not meeting Ben's eyes.
"Hey... I'm sorry, 'kay?"
"H-Huh?" Ben looked surprised as Kenny continued.
"I shouldn't have snapped at ya like that. I shouldn't have done a lot of things. I know that I can be an asshole sometimes... But... I'm just sorry, 'kay? Sorry for everything shitty I've done to you."
Ben blinked, clearly not expecting any of this to happen. "W-Well Kenny, you know it's-"
"OMID WHAT'RE YOU-"
Boom! A gunshot rang throughout Savannah. Kenny and Ben peered over the ledge, searching for any sign of the others.
"Oh god..." Ben whimpered as they both looked at the crouching walkers in the alley, their jaws running red and their hands bearing raw human flesh. Soft footsteps thudded behind them Kenny and Ben spun around.
Lee stood there, looking down at his feet with intense grief in his eyes.
"W-What happened pal?" Kenny asked, but he had a sick feeling that he already knew.
Lee just shook his head. His mouth opened, and then just hung there, unsure, uncertain. Finally, words began to form on his lips. "They're... They're gone."
Ben gasped quietly, looking down at his shoes. Kenny examined Lee. He seemed pretty shaken, disorientated. He watched as Lee walked towards the ledge, looking into the alley where Omid and Christa were once were. "Christa was... pretty messed up and Omid couldn't just leave her...No... No... Damn... No!" He put a hand in front of his eyes, walking away from the scene.
Frowning, Kenny walked up beside Lee. "So... You saw them die?"
Lee nodded weakly, "There was just no way that both of them could make it out."
"Fuck... Fuck!" Kenny cursed throwing his hands up in the air. He and Christa may have had their differences, but that didn't mean Kenny disliked the women. She may have been a bit pushy and bitchy at times, but she proved herself to be a valuable asset. And Omid... his cheerful personality might've annoyed Kenny at times, but it was refreshing. At least he weren't any thief or murderer or cannibal. With those two gone... Kenny just swallowed down his grief. He couldn't think about it, he barely knew them, but still...
Ben took a hesitant step forward. "B-But... What about the gunshot?" He asked.
Lee sighed, "Omid made sure... That his girlfriend didn't have to experience more pain then she needed to. They... They loved each other..." He trailed off, looking downcast.
Kenny put a hand on Lee's shoulder, trying to comfort him. "I'm sorry." He said solemnly.
Lee looked at Kenny, his eyes void of emotion. He didn't say anything, just shook his head some more and sighed.
"Come on pal, we should get going." Kenny gently nudged the man. Lee nodded.
"I'm right behind you." He said.
Kenny took one more look at Lee before taking the lead. Lee took the rear, his head down, silent. Ben kept looking from Kenny to Lee, unsure what to make of it all. Slowly, they progressed towards The Marsh House using the rooftops. Kenny looked back at Lee, who still seemed pretty shaken. "Do... Do ya want to talk or anything?" He asked.
Lee looked up at Kenny, looking conflicted whether he should speak so or not. Finally, he just sighed. "They were good people. They didn't deserve what happened to them. Especially..." He trailed off.
"Especially what?" Kenny pressed gently.
"Damn..." Lee shook his head, "Christa... She was... Did you know she was pregnant?"
Kenny stopped walking, staring at Lee as if he didn't hear what he just said. His jaw hung in the air, and it took him awhile to process words, "P-Pregnant? She... She was pregnant?"
Lee nodded somberly. "Yeah... You couldn't tell?"
"I..." Kenny thought back, trying to think, Omid's concern, Christa throwing up, and her hesitance to take the booze back at the attic... Were those really the signs? Was she really... pregnant?
"I'll assume you didn't then." Lee said after Kenny took his time to come up with an answer. "When I went down there... Omid was helping Christa out... She was in so much pain... Then the sharp metal end of the balcony... It pierced through her stomach... The baby couldn't have survived such a thing... Omid was so distraught... They were both crying... Then the walkers came. Omid... He locked me out, he said that he couldn't do anything anymore. He apologised to me. Christa was screaming at him not to do this... But that's when Omid looked at her, smiled and said something before he... He put her out. I mean... I... I don't know..." Lee just sighed, his hands over his eyes.
Kenny just gawked at Lee as he told his tragic tale. Holy shit... I... I... The poor guys... That family...
Maybe I'm lucky Katjaa and Duck died so early, they wouldn't have to suffer this long, this horribly... Like they did... Just... Son-of-a-bitch...
Kenny noticed Ben's reaction. The boy's face was scrunched up in pain, his eyes bright with misery as Lee told his story. Another pang of guilt hit Kenny. Omid and Christa were Ben's friends. Well, not so much Christa, more like Omid. He treated the kid kindly, respectfully, something... Something Kenny should've done.
"Hey... Since Christa and Omid... are gone, that means, you two have to stay safe. For her." Lee said in a serious tone. Kenny stared in at Lee.
"Lee..." Kenny began but Lee cut him off.
"I'm serious. I think... we all know. I don't think I'll make it. This bite's going to kill me. I know. You two know it. It's inevitable."
"But Lee..." Ben said.
"Ben. I'm serious about this." Lee said. His gaze suddenly sharpened as it trained itself on the two of them. "I know you two don't get along. I know that it's pretty strained between you two. But when I'm gone, she'll have to rely on you two. Do you understand that? You two are her only protectors now. You can't turn on each other. I don't want her... I just want her to be happy, okay? And you two can give that to her, but only if you two can get along. Okay? Please... For my sake."
Ben and Kenny exchanged a look. A look full of guilt, hope, anger, sadness, regrets...
"If... If Kenny can, then I can." Ben mumbled. Lee looked expectantly at Kenny. Kenny sighed, giving Ben a sharp look.
"I... I can do it. Don't worry about me. I can do this Lee." Kenny vowed.
Lee gave them both a small smile. "Good. Thanks you guys. Come on... Let's keep going."
They kept trekking forward in silence. In unison, they let out a sigh of relief when The Marsh House finally came into view. What stood between them and their destination though, was a rickety sign with the words 'Macabre Import' imprinted on it. Below that, a scattered force of walkers roamed.
"Well... At least it looks safe, right?" Ben said meekly. The wind gusted, causing the sign to sway and creak a little. Kenny gave Ben a sour look, but then quickly took it back. Ben blinked sheepishly, "So... Uh... Who's going first?"
"Me." Lee said, taking a step forwards.
"Now hold on." Kenny said. Lee gave him a glare.
"Clementine's my responsibility, I have to get to her first. Plus, I'm good as dead anyways. I should be the one taking the risks."
"Stop saying shit like that!" Kenny yelled, taking Lee and Ben by surprise. "You ain't dead, not yet anyways, so quit acting like yer going to die!"
"Kenny." Lee said, staring into his eyes. "I'm bitten. We both know what happens after that."
Kenny just cursed. "Fine then, you go first, whatever man."
Ben bit his lip, looking at Lee. Lee just rolled his eyes and cautiously set one foot on the sign. Kenny and Ben watched carefully. Lee grasped onto the sign with one hand, and then slowly began to shuffle towards the building on the other side. Kenny and Ben held their breathes, the wind swaying the structure, making it look as if it were going to fall at any moment. When Lee got to the other side unscathed, Kenny let out a relieved sigh.
Then it creaked, and heaved, and with a loud thunk, the sign split in half. Lee gasped, clutching to his side desperately. Kenny and Ben watched as their pathway towards the bitten comrade had just disappeared completely.
"A-Are you okay?!" Ben cried out, waving at Lee.
"I'm good!" Lee said, waving his stump towards the pair.
"What're you going to do?" Kenny asked.
Lee looked at the horde below, his gaze hardening. "Fuck it, I'm going for it!" He yelled.
"T-That's crazy!" Ben yelped, "There are thousands of them down there!"
"It's the only good option I've got." Lee answered. He stared at Kenny and Ben, his eyes softening. "Meet me and Clementine at the train! Out of Savannah okay?"
"Yeah... Yeah of course pal! But are you sure you don't want us to find another way?" Kenny asked.
"No! I can't let you two wait around and possibly die! You have to be somewhere safe!"
"It's safe up here! Don't worry pal, we'll just scout the area, find a way across. We'll wait around up here till we see ya, 'kay?" Kenny said.
Lee smiled. "Fine... All right then. I'll... I'll see you guys later." Lee gave them one more gracious smile before he climbed down the building. Within minutes, he disappeared from sight.
Ben looked at Kenny with wide eyes. "N-Now what?"
"We find our own way to The Marsh House." Kenny answered.
"Okay..." Ben said, not looking at Kenny. Kenny stifled an exhausted moan.
"Look kid, I know we ain't so good with each other right now, but let's just put that aside for the moment and focus, 'kay?"
"Yeah... Yeah you're right... I'm sorry."
"Whatever kid, let's go."
Night had settled, and Ben and Kenny were still stuck on the rooftops, finding no good way to get to The Marsh House. They decided to camp for the night, and found shelter in a well-stocked small convenience store. There were only a few walkers that they could easily kill. There was some food and a few sleeping bags, no good weapons or anything. They patched up the place, making sure there were no weak points before they both finally settled in. They had a lit yet dim lantern in between them, and a few more set out around the store in case something went wrong. They agreed to sleep in shifts, with Kenny taking the first one. He figured the kid needed the sleep more than him.
Kenny was sitting down on his sleeping bag relaxing when Ben came over. He just finished setting up the lanterns. Kenny resisted the urge to make a dry remark how he might've accidently set the place on fire with his klutzy hands, but he couldn't. He would've, but he just couldn't. He can't.
Ben sat against the shelf, curling up in his blanket while doing so. He met Kenny's eyes and they locked. They stared into each other's eyes, one full of youth and fear, another hardened and tired.
"Y-You think Lee will find us again? Before he... turns?" Be asked, his voice strained and nervous. Kenny shrugged, avoiding Ben's blue stare.
"Maybe. Maybe not. We better pray that he does." He said.
"Oh." Was all Ben could say. The young teenager huddled himself together, resting his head on his knees while he wrapped himself tight within the sleeping bag.
"You... You okay kid?" Kenny asked. Ben stared at Kenny, wide-eyed.
"Yeah... Yeah... I guess..." Ben said. "I'm just a little shaken, you know? With everything that's happened so far."
"Tell me about it." Kenny sighed. "So much shit just keeps piling up. I don't know how much more we can all take, ya know?"
"I know." Ben murmured. "I mean... It's only really been a week and so much people have just... I mean... God..." Ben shivered. He looked at Kenny with a gaze full of pain. "I'm so sorry Kenny."
"For everything. I didn't just ruin your life, I fucked up just about everything! I caused the bandits to take over our camp which caused Lilly to go insane and shoot Carley! I mean... I know Lee and her seemed to like each other... And I... Ruined everything!" Ben was miserably shaking his head while clenching his sleeping bag tightly, a sob stuck in his throat. "Then I destroy your family and then I go and leave Clementine alone in a group of walkers that killed Chuck! I took the hatchet from the school door which made walkers come out and kill that lady Vernon was with... I'm... I'm such a fuck-up!" Ben cried, dropping his head into his knees. His body shook, and very faintly, Kenny could hear Ben's muffled sobs.
Kenny stared in dismay at Ben. Was this really how Ben saw himself? Well... It's how I see him. And maybe because I told him so... He believed in it... Oh sweet fucking bullshit... What have I done?
"Hey... Hey don't cry about it... okay? Kenny tried to comfort the kid, but it came off awkward and lame.
"I'm... such a fuck-up." Ben sobbed, his chest heaving, his voice still muffled.
As comfortingly as Kenny could, he hesitantly patted the kid's back in a fatherly fashion, like he was Duck after some sort of nightmare. "Kid... I was an asshole to you. Hell, I'm an asshole to everyone! You have the right to be angry at me. But stop blaming yourself, okay? Just stop."
"I fuck up everything..." Ben mumbled. "I... I just... should've died or something."
"Don't say that." Kenny said in dismay, "Don't ever say that."
"You're right Kenny. Lee should've dropped me. I should've died."
"No, no I was wrong, I was wrong. You got to live." Kenny urged the kid, shaking him on the shoulders. "I know what I said, I know it was horrible, but... you helped me realize how much of an asshole I was. You hear that? You helped me realize that kid! And that's good thing! You ain't a fuck-up."
Slowly, Ben stopped shuddering. His sniffling lessened, his eyes rimmed red. His clear blue eyes were soft.
"I-I-I..." Ben began to stutter but Kenny quickly shushed him.
"Quiet kid, go back to sleep. I'll keep watch, 'kay?"
"O-okay..." Ben lied down and curled up into a ball. Within a few moments, Kenny could hear the boy's breathing slow down softly.
Kenny let out a breath. "Fuckinghell, what kind of person am I?" Kenny muttered to himself softly. "How could I do this to a kid? I'm such a bastard. If anyone's the fuck-up, it's me. I fucked up. I fucked up, so many times..."
"R-Really?" Kenny whipped his head around. Ben was giving him an owl-eyed look. Kenny glared at him.
"Weren't you sleeping awhile ago?"
Ben shrugged, his cheeks turning crimson red, "Sorry, I'm not such a heavy sleeper."
Kenny snorted. Ben looked at Kenny, "So... Uh... What do you mean? About being a fuck-up?"
"None of your business." Kenny snapped.
"Oh... But... Uh..." Ben looked around nervously.
Kenny sighed. "Dammit Ben. If ya really got to know, I think... I think I'm a fuck-up too. Happy?"
"But... You're strong." Ben said. Kenny thought he heard some admiration in his voice. "I mean, you can kill walkers, you can stand up for yourself, your brave and a good guy and you're experienced... You're really cool Kenny!"
Kenny stared at Ben in astonishment. After all the crap he put this kid through, did he really see him that way?
"Kid, I've caused more shit to happen then you can ever imagine." Kenny said.
"Can't be worse then what I've done." Ben replied, a tone of sadness in his voice.
"I've ruined a family." Kenny said, "I killed Lilly's father. I didn't have too, but I did. I thought it was for our survival, but... But maybe it was the wrong call. I saved my son at the cost of another's. I let... I let another son die..." Kenny groaned, "I just don't know if I could've done better, or... something... I mean... Fuck."
Ben looked down, twiddling with his fingers. "I... ruined a family too... remember?" Ben murmured. "Only I did a lot worst."
"We all have blood on our hands." Kenny said. "I guess... It's just something we got to live with. Something we just got to... get past." Kenny rubbed his forehead. If we ever can.
"Yeah..." Ben agreed quietly, "I guess you're right."
Kenny gave the teenager a small smile. "Now get some rest, we got a long day tomorrow, okay?"
"Yeah... Yeah okay."
"FUCK! FUCK! WHY!?" Kenny screamed, throwing his pistol on the ground in a fit of rage. Ben quivered, a hand over his mouth, his eyes screwed shut. Kenny kicked a nearby baseball bat on the ground, launching it towards the wall. He punched the wall in anger, denial, sorrow, grief. All of those emotions were coursing through his veins. NO! FUCK!
"K-Kenny..." Ben mumbled, "Walkers... They might..."
"Yeah... I know... I just... fuck... Lee..."
The two men just stared at the corpse of their ally. Lee Everett handcuffed to a radiator. He had one arm missing, taken off due to his bite. His eyes were now yellow and glazed over, his mouth twitching towards the two humans in the room, the two alive ones away. He snarled, swing his stump towards them. Ben gulped, shaking.
"W-What should we do with him?" He asked hesitantly.
"We... We can't just leave him like this." Kenny said, a crack of despair in his voice.
Ben nodded. Kenny looked at Ben and knew the kid didn't have the balls to do what had to be done. Kenny picked up his pistol from the ground.
"You sure?" Ben asked, "I can do it, if you want. I mean, you and Lee, you were friends, weren't you?"
"He was your friend too." Kenny retorted. "It doesn't matter which one of us does it, it won't be easy anyways for either of us, all right?"
"Still Kenny... If you want to..." Ben meekly offered.
"Kid... I can do this... I can do this..." He found himself repeating those words. Yes, he said these words before to Katjaa... about putting down Duck. He could do it, he could've done it!
"Fuck..." Kenny hissed, clutching the pistol in his sweaty hands.
"Kenny..." Ben insisted weakly, "I... can..."
Lee put down Duck when I couldn't. He did me a favour, of saving me the pain... Should I... shoot him? To return the favour? Kenny shook his head, turning away.
"Kenny..." Ben murmured, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Kenny pushed him away. Ben flinched, but didn't say a word, just looked at Kenny to Lee, his eyes unreadable. Kenny crouched down until he was at eye-level with Lee. Lee growled, snapping his jaws at Kenny, the click, clack, click of his teeth snapping. "Dammit Lee... What happened?" He asked. Lee hissed, his stumping bumping into Kenny's arm. Kenny backed away, disturbed.
"We... Uh... Found the guy who screwed with us, he was shot in the head. I'm going to assume you saved the girl then."
Lee roared, inching closer to Kenny. Kenny took another step back, grimacing. "Pal... Pal I'm really sorry. I... I just..." Kenny inhaled softly, trying to gather his words. "I'm going to help you, okay? I'll end your suffering."
Kenny stood on his two feet, pointing a shaky gun at the zombified Lee. Lee snarled some more, red sticky drool streaming down his lips. Kenny kept taking slow breathes, staring at Lee.
I can do this. I can do this! Lee... Kenny was pretty neutral with Lee. Sometimes they'd fight and sometimes they'd get along, but Lee wasn't a horrible guy, he was just a man trying to survive and protect a little girl in this forsaken world. Lee treated Kenny like a friend, even when Kenny was being a dick to him. He trusted him, told him about his past, and comforted him during the loss of his family... He was a good guy, and I repaid him by being an asshole. ... Damn...
In the end, Kenny liked Lee. He never wanted this to happen to Lee. This man had helped him through everything... The least he could do was put him out of this misery, right?
Kenny lowered the gun, trying to regain his composure. He sniffed, shaking violently. Why am I getting so emotional? I'm such a pansy. What the hell?! He wiped his eyes, taking steady breathes.
When he finally got his act together, Kenny clenched his hand in determination. He suddenly realized that the gun was no longer there. When he turned to his side, he saw it.
In Ben's trembling hands.
Kenny stood, his jawbone dropped. Well... This kid's got more balls then I thought. But still... Damn...
Ben's clear blue eyes were misting up, huge and pained as he stared at the dark red mark imprinted on Lee's forehead. Lee's corpse had stopped moving, his head limp, his voice forever silenced. Ben backed up, his breath hitched, his body stiff and rigid.
"Ben?" Kenny said the name cautiously. Ben shivered, staring at Kenny with empty eyes. He looked back at Kenny, holding back whimpers. Ben had tears glowing in his eyes, mixed with regret and angst. He shook his head.
"I'm sorry." Ben said hoarsely. He brought the gun to his forehead.
Kenny gasped, "BEN NO-"
He pulled the trigger.
He pulled it again. And again. And again. Kenny just stared, shell-shocked as Ben desperately and forcefully pulling the trigger.
Gently, Kenny put a hand on Ben's agitated shoulder. "B-Ben." Kenny stuttered his words, still trying to understand what he had just attempted to do. "It's... its empty."
Ben looked at Kenny, his eyes wild, nearly insane, his entire body shaking. He threw the gun at Kenny. Kenny weakly caught it. Ben dropped to his knees, covering his mouth and letting out a small, shrill wail. He buried his head in his knees, rocking back and forth, crying continuously. Kenny could see the tears slipping through, watering down his cheeks, his pants, his sleeves. Ben continued to sob, each one full of despair. Kenny just stared, his mouth still open, his entire being vibrating.
What... What... Do I do?
Seeing Ben do that... It was frightening, it was horrible... It could've traumatized Kenny if he succeeded...
When Ben did that, he saw Katjaa. He saw her, her soft eyes staring at Kenny one last time, the 'sorry' parting her lips gently, the gun aimed at her brain. It was like watching Katjaa do it all over again. And Kenny couldn't bear that, no, he just couldn't.
Never again would he lose anybody like that.
Kenny sat down on the floor just beside Ben, who became a little quieter. Ben sniffled. "I-I...I..."
"I'm sorry. This is my entire fault." Kenny muttered before Ben could speak. Ben shook his head, opening his mouth to argue but Kenny intervened. "I should have never done all the shitty things I've done to you. I should've been more understanding, a better friend, but I just treated you like a piece of crap, which led you to think like yer a piece of shit, which you ain't. It caused you to be like this. I... It's my fault. I'm sorry Ben." Kenny wiped his eye, patting Ben's back. Ben looked at Kenny with red puffy eyes.
"Please Ben... Don't ever do that again, ya hear me?" Kenny said, pleading with the kid with a broken voice.
Ben had stopped sobbing, they had been reduced to hiccups. He looked at Kenny and nodded hesitantly. Kenny knew he had to keep a closer eye on him from now on. I can't lose anyone else... Not another person... Ben...
In the end, they had left Savannah. There was nothing left in that place anyways. The tried to search for Clementine, first scanning the rooftops and then the train, but she wasn't on the roofs and the train was too crowded with walkers. They ended up in a large, golden field of wheat, walking away from the forsaken city.
Kenny and Ben were pretty much silent during the whole thing. There were no exact words to say what they were feeling anyways. Everything... was just so fucked up, for both of them. Ben was a mental mess right now, and Kenny was reaching his breaking point, he felt like any minute he could've just broke down just like Ben.
Ben... Kenny bit his lip. He felt nothing but guilt. Well, that and anger towards himself. He kept blaming himself for Ben's suicide attempt, if he hadn't pushed him around... Then maybe that wouldn't have happened. It could've been avoided. Kenny looked over at the teen in question. He was walking glumly behind him, his steps heavy and slow. Kenny sighed. Ben hadn't tried anything so far... But Kenny kept watching him, just in case.
He wouldn't let Ben die, especially at his own hands, Ben can't do that to himself, he couldn't! Kenny wouldn't let him. If Ben died... If Ben committed suicide... Then Kenny couldn't probably live with himself anymore.
"K-Kenny!" Ben gasped. Kenny looked at Ben. He was staring down at the field, pointing to a small figure in the distance. Kenny squinted, and then gasped with Ben.
"No... No fucking way!"
In the field, beside an abandoned car and a tree, was a small, quivering shape. It held a gun in its hand, had two small ponytails, and wore an all too familiar hat. Holy shit!
"Clem! Is that you!?" Kenny screamed, waving his arms around madly.
"Kenny!" A young voice wailed his name. She started to run towards them. Ben and Kenny sprinted down the hill to meet her.
"Ben! Kenny!" Clementine cried, her arms outstretched. She ran into Ben and caught him in a strong embrace. Ben stiffened, a little surprised, but then hugged her back softly. Kenny couldn't help but laugh.
"Well this is a load of good luck! We thought we lost ya kid!"
Clementine tensed up, letting Ben go. "I... I..."
Ben eyes suddenly widened. "Clementine... You're covered in guts!"
She nodded slightly, "Yeah... Lee thought it would help us get by the w-walkers."
Kenny heart twisted, realizing that the little girl might've been through more than he ever imagined. "Clem, honey, "Kenny crouched down to meet her eyes. "We... We found Lee."
Her eyes widened, tears glistening, she trembled. "Was... Was he a walker?" Her voice was barely audible. Kenny nodded.
"Oh..." Clementine bowed her head, shaking violently now. "Oh..." She sniffed, the gun dropping from her hands. "No... Lee..." Clementine sobbed, tears now free-falling from her face. She stared at both of them. "Did you... Did you kill him?" She asked in a strained voice.
Ben looked at Kenny, his eyes pained. Kenny looked back at Clem, who was waiting for an answer.
"He's not a walker, don't worry Clementine." Kenny reassured her.
Clementine nodded and sobbed a bit more. Kenny gave her a comforting hug.
"I... I let him turn! I... could've shot him, I could've done something... But I left him! I left him to die!" Clementine wailed, burying his face in Kenny's shoulder. Kenny looked at Ben and they shared a look of anguish.
"Well Clem, you're just a kid... and Lee and you were close... It would've been hard to shoot him." Ben said gently, "If you did shoot him, it might've been worse on you, you know?"
"But... you guys shot him! And Lee was your friend! I'm sorry!" Clementine apologized desperately, clinging to Kenny. Kenny rubbed her back.
"Come on now, it's all right, it's all right." Kenny soothed.
"What are we going to do?" Clementine whimpered, "We can't... why... what... I... Don't know!" Clementine wept, snuggling closer to Kenny. Her nose was runny, her words nothing but a jumbled mess. Kenny and Ben looked at one another and exchanged a look of anguish.
"Hey Clem... Uh... Why don't you take a rest?" Ben suggested, tapping her lightly on the shoulder. Clementine looked up at him, her eyes red.
"You can take a nap, ya know?" Ben said nervously, "You can sleep on my back if you really need to, I can give you a piggy back ride!"
Clementine said nothing, just a small nod. She climbed onto Ben's back and got into a comfortable position. Ben held her firmly in place. Kenny looked at the two before motioning for Ben to start walking.
Clementine was asleep in a few minutes. Her breathing was unsteady and she let out small whimpers, soft moans, mumbling Lee's name a few times. Tears had begun to seep out of her eyes. She kept fidgeting, forcing Ben to adjust her position so she would be okay. Kenny looked at the little girl and shook his head.
"She's not doing so well, is she?"
"She just lost Lee, that's like she just lost her dad. They were really close..." Ben trailed off.
"Yeah... She's just... Well... Shit." Kenny scratched his head.
"Uh... Kenny? What are we going to do now? I mean, we found Clem and all, but... We don't really have a plan, do we?"
Kenny stopped walking and stared at Ben with a somber look. "Honestly, I have no fucking idea what to do now. I mean, what can we do?"
Ben looked down, choosing not to reply. Kenny guessed his thoughts and growled.
"Ben, don't tell me you're thinking of-"
"Kenny, there's no hope! We're screwed! We might as well... we might as well save ourselves the pain, you know?"
"You're willing to do that to a little girl?" Kenny hissed.
"You said so yourself that she's not doing well! She basically lost everything, just like us! I mean, we could do it easily, painlessly, so she doesn't have to suffer..."
"Are you fucking shitting me Ben?! I can't, we won't do that! We can't just give up... We can't!"
"Then what are we going to do?!" Ben yelled, surprising Kenny. "We have nowhere to go! Nothing to look forward to! We have nothing Kenny! All of us!" Ben eyes were wild. He panted, giving Kenny a broken glare. "We... We have nothing..."
Kenny stared numbly at Ben, his words shaking him. He's... right. I don't have much to live for, barely anything. All of us don't have a reason. We're... We...
"I... promise Lee... I'll live for you... Leeee... Noooo..."
Ben and Kenny stared at the sleep-talking girl. She squirmed, clutching at something unseen. She had a frown on her face, but her words held determination, strength mingling with fear. Lee's words suddenly flashed through Kenny's mind.
"But when I'm gone, she'll have to rely on you two. Do you understand that? You two are her only protectors now. You can't turn on each other. I don't want her... I just want her to be happy, okay?"
"Please, for my sake."
Kenny stared at Ben, a hard look. "We promised Lee to protect her. We have to keep that promise Ben." Ben didn't respond. Kenny walked up to him.
"Ben, we ain't going to give up, we can't. We promised Lee to take care, we promised to keep her happy. We have to look out for each other. Ben, we have to live, for her."
"Please... Ben please..." Kenny begged, "I can't... I ain't losing any more people. Please don't do this Ben." His voice shook.
Ben stared at Kenny, his eyes unreadable. Finally, he gave him a firm nod. "I... I can do this Kenny. I can. I'm sorry, I'm just... I..."
"You don't have to apologize." Kenny said. "We have to keep going. We're going to find something, a town, a safe place, something..."
"Yeah... yeah okay." Ben smiled. Well, it was a weak smile, forced probably, but a smile nonetheless. It was good start to recovery.
"You think we'll ever be okay?" Ben asked suddenly.
Kenny looked back at the kid.
"Yeah, I think we will. We have to be. We have to be."