. . . . . . . . . .
"Rena-chan! Rena-chan please! I'm sorry!"
Here we are again. It's the same routine over and over, day after day, month after month. It's now the darkest hour of the night with sleep threatening my soar body and my on-again/off-again girlfriend banging outside my door. Obviously, she's here again to apologize for another one of her many infidelities, but I'm still debating whether I should hear what she has to say or not. And honestly, I am seriously getting sick and tired of all this drama. My heart can't take anymore of this pain.
"RENA!" Jurina yells louder, probably disturbing my neighbors from their slumber. "I know you're in there!"
Through the door, Jurina can feel my presence, shaking with uneasiness and apprehension. The continuing banging from the door transfers through the floor and into my nerves, worsening my current state. Too focused on my anxiety I didn't notice then that an hour had passed and the banging had stopped, assuming Jurina had already left. Finally, I pressed my back against the wall and slid down. Instantly, I fell asleep on the floor.
Man. . . . . how much more of this can I take?
My mind says no, but my heart says yes. Is the heart always right?
. . . . . . . . . .
A chronic throbbing in my back finally wakes me up, the first thing I see being the ceiling. Groggily, I rise from the floor, placing my hand on my soar back and then slowly fall to the wall. Oh, now I remember why I was sleeping on the floor: Jurina. Recovering some of my energy I move to the kitchen to retrieve my morning coffee. With the hot mug in my hand, I walk outside to my living room balcony. There seems to be a deep mist today; it's like I almost can't see the city skyline. I wipe the mist from the glass and looks like Santa visited last night and left snow all over my balcony. I feel the presence of goosebumps on my skin from the cold touch of the glass. Never mind, I'll just stay inside. Apparently winter is on it's way faster than usual. Despite the weather, I find peace in the cold air and take a sip of my coffee. The warm liquid melts through my throat and seeps through my stomach, relaxing me whole. Finishing my coffee, I put away my empty mug and return to my room. Slightly, my body places itself on the soft, king-size mattress. The material seems so supple that I feel like I actually am sinking into my mattress. The physical bliss my body feels, however, can't sooth the constant pounding in my heart.
This mattress . . . . where she first showed me how much she loved me.
There are so many memories in this apartment, let alone this one room. Many touches, kisses, passionate nights were shared in this room. Just the thought of all those good memories were just enough for me to burst into tears. Even the bed is permeated with Jurina's sweet, intoxicating smell. I swear I can get high by burying my face in it. Although Jurina has betrayed me numerous, numerous times I always allowed her back into this room, only for her to "convince" me that she loved me and me alone.
Oh how stupid I am. And I'm older than her!
How could she do this to me?! Again! Am I really that gullible to let a 15-year-old high schooler repeatedly trick me. I love her, but I hate her. No. I hate what she does to me. I don't understand this at all! When we're at work she's persistently flirting with the other members. I see this certain look in her face that shows me that she know that I see what she's doing. After "molesting" the other girls she comes crawling back to me. What the fuck is wrong with her? What the fuck is wrong with me?!
But, when we're together alone. . . . she becomes this completely different person. She becomes the same sweet, caring, and gentle girl she was when our paths first crossed at the SKE auditions. Was this all part of her master plan? Did she see me as an easy target and then easily fooled me into being her own slave?
Oh Jurina. I love you. I want to believe in you. I want to believe those beautiful nights weren't all for nothing. I want to believe in your "I love you". And it's almost Christmas! This is a time to be around the ones you love the most! But here I am. All alone. I don't want to spend the holidays alone.
After my mind calms down a bit, I lift myself from the tear-dampened sheets of my bed and in contrast, I don't know what has gotten into me, but I notice my feet headed towards the entrance door.
I'm going to find her.
Without a second thought, I burst through the door and hit something that seemed to be placed in front of my doorway. There were flowers, melon pan, and . . . . . . a person lying on the floor at my doorstep! It was Jurina! I can't believe she stayed out here all night in the freezing snow, waiting for me. Maybe this tells me something about her. Immediately I carry my little Juri-chan inside, ignoring her little gifts; her body is ice-cold. With my small and weak stature I managed to carry Jurina to my room and gently laid her down on my bed. The sight of her pale skin twinged at my heart. I felt totally guilty that I left her out there to freeze to death. I should've thought better! Leaving her side for a minute, I went to the kitchen to fix her some tea and get a heat pack. I return to wrap her body with the thickest blanket I had and placed the pack on her head.
". . . R-r-rena. . . chan." I hear her emit her little voice, her voice is music to my ears.
"Shh, don't speak. You need to rest. How are you feeling?"
"Now that I get to see you. . . . I feel happy." She replied and flashed that innocent smile to me that always made my heart melt. "You know, Rena. . . I actually wished you left me out there a little longer to die in the snow. That way so when you'd find me, you'd finally know that I really was sorry."
Those choice of words that came out of her mouth pierced through my heart. It kind of sounded that she was placing the blame on me, even though I am the guilty one. Then my body went stiff and something wet stained my face. I was crying again.
All of a sudden, my sobs were stopped as I felt a pair of cool, moist lips press against mine. In reaction, I closed my eyes and allowed her to give her all to me. I can't think of the last time we had shared a kiss like this. It was sweet, soft, hormone-endorsing and all of those. In response to my soft moans, Jurina slithered her arms around my slender waist and pulled me in closer, me falling on top of her. I didn't want her to let go until seconds had passed and my lungs cried, alerting me for air. Finally she released me and we just stared at each other.
"Never have I seen my darling so beautiful. I didn't worry you, did I?" I heard the slight tremble and anxiety in her voice. Maybe she truly did feel bad for cheating on me. Next, her cold hands made contact with my hips and attempted to lift my shirt up, but I stopped her.
"W-wait. Jurina. . . I. . . I'm scared." I spoke up.
"I know you're scared. Scared of me. But please, let me do this. This is all I can do to show you that I love you. I truly, deeply am sorry for everything I've done to you. I can't think of anything else." Oh God, I can't take this.
The emotions in my heart ignited a hurricane inside me and decided to let her do whatever she wanted. It wasn't long until we initiated the deep kiss from earlier. Our kiss escalated as our tongues danced and our limbs tied together into one tight knot. Jurina's body was still cold, but with the heat I was feeling inside it excreted outwards and warmed both our bodies. Jurina probably regained her energy as I felt her rubbing her body against mine, feeling her hard buds against my thin shirt. Now after her body, Juri's legs followed to play. I could tell she was getting more aroused when I began slightly grinding my burning core against her thigh, me moaning in bliss. Although I was the timid one I tugged at the edge of Jurina's shirt and pulled it over her head and proceed to mash our lips together. Oh god, Jurina's breasts had been growing a lot more. I always loved the adolescent Jurina, but seeing her body mature into a woman's was absolutely sexy. Her porcelain skin was soft to the touch. Her sculpted abs were heavenly to let my fingers crawl upon. The strawberry essence traveled from her hair to my nose and she switched our position, her now hovering over me.
"Please, don't be afraid." Jurina said while nipping at my sensitive neck. Distracted by her light butterfly kisses on my collarbone, she tantalizingly massaged my breasts and stroked my nipples with her thumbs. I felt her smile widely into our kiss, she knowing that I wasn't wearing a bra. Then suddenly I yelped as Jurina pressed her thigh further onto my wet core. My hips synchronized with her thigh and i began riding on her more frenziedly. Without any hesitation, Jurina unzipped my sweatpants, wanting to get to the prize as fast as she can. Impatience getting in the way, Jurina discards my shirt and I get rid of her pants and panties. Now with both of us in a state of nakedness, Jurina knew that my line was about to snap when she pushed my legs further open and roughly stroked at my core, finally getting it's rewards. Enough with tease, Jurina proceeded to do what she had initially intended: to remind me that I was truly her one and only. She began descending down my body, leaving a trail of warm kisses. I couldn't help but gasp at her tender foreplay, making my inner walls burn even hotter. Out of nowhere, Jurina gave a long lick at my glistening entrance, my load moan following after.
"Are you okay? Is it not good?" Jurina asked with sincere concern, surprised at my high moan.
I could only give her a slight nod and raised my hand to meet her blushing cheek. This gesture served as an answer and finally she began to eat me out. I groaned loudly as her tongue remembered all my spots and licked them clean. I haven't felt this good in so long ever since all the drama had happened. Obviously, although Jurina was sleeping around with others, she always managed to make me writhe under her when we'd make love. Jurina was completely amazed by what she saw: my mouth of euphoria wide open, my face as red as a cooked lobster and my moans as loud as a siren. Even I was shocked by my reactions. But I didn't care; I just wanted her to make me feel good. Overwhelmed with intense pleasure, I wrapped my legs tighter around her head, caring less if I hurt her or not. My aching core begged for release with every lick, nip, and suck Jurina gave me. Her beautiful locks were messed up by my hands as she showed me how much she loved me, pushing harder and harder. Knowing that I was almost off the edge, Jurina withdrew her tongue and I groaned in disappointment. But suddenly, she shoved her tongue back inside and with a few more licks it was lights out for me.
Falling back to earth from cloud 9, I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jurina cleaning her mouth from my liquids.
"Mouu~ don't do that. It's. . . .d-dirty." I said with a sweet, weak voice.
Wanting to return the favor, I turned Jurina around and leisurely kissed her, tasting my tangy juices in her mouth. Jurina's muscles tensed at my sudden actions, but relaxed when I began playing with her growing breasts. Moving from her lips to neck, my tongue reached her hard nubs and I enclosed my mouth around it. I heard her soft mewls that transcended into my heart and stayed there.
"Oh god. . . Rena-chan. . . ."
Without any prior warning, my fingers crawled down to her half-opened legs and stroked her hot thighs. Making my transgression, I harshly, but lovingly put my finger in her mouth and quickly shoved it into her tight opening, slowly moving in and out. Jurina gasped hugely by my sudden audacity and the immense pleasure than shot through her veins. I have no idea what came over me, but I refused to be that innocent girl of hers and kept drilling furiously into her wet entrance. Jurina's head thrashed from side to side with every thrust that came her way. What seemed like a lifetime, I finally looked up and saw my girlfriend's loving, yet lonely eyes. She was pleading for a kiss. With my compliance, I leaned forward and naughtily kissed her. The faster I thrust the harder she grinds into my body. Her grinding was enough to almost knock the both of us off the bed, but I kept strong. I could feel my own lust return with our breasts rubbing against each other, but I was determined to make her feel what I felt from her. Drawing closer, I noticed Jurina's toes curling; she was close.
Like her toes, I curled my fingers, hitting her special inner spot.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
"Thank god I didn't leave you out in the snow." I whispered into her ear.
"Well, now that you know how much I've always loved you, I can die in peace." My eyes widened at her response, questioning if she was serious.
"Don't leave me. Don't go back to Airi. Don't go back to Churi. Don't go back to Mizuki. Don't go~~"
"Calm down honey," she interrupted me. "If I ever cheat on you again, I promise I'll disappear from this earth and leave your heart at peace. And when I die, my spirit will follow you wherever you go and protect you."
Jurina's skin tensed at the wet sensation she felt from my tears. Finally, I didn't care for all her mistakes. I just cared for her."
Exhausted from our powerful love-making session, we shared a one last kiss until we caved into deep slumber.
I love you.
This is going to be one good Christmas.