"Heather vs. Redbox"

Rated T for language

Disclaimer: Don't own Total Drama, and don't care.

It was another busy day in downtown Toronto and inside a 7-Eleven stood The Queen Bee herself, Heather. In her mind, she felt like she needed to watch a good movie ever since her parents left for vacation and she was all alone in her house with her bastard brother Damien. After putting up with his crap for so much longer, Heather decided to just leave her house for a little while just to clear some air once and for all. So what better way to calm herself down with a nice little romantic comedy on the Redbox? At least her bratty brother can't even stand romantic comedies. She soon approached the machine and took out her good credit card.

"There we go, American Express..." Heather said to her credit card as she swiped it in the machine, and she was about to go to work on her choices of movies, "Here we go, The Expendables 2... no, not that... Men In Black III... not my thing... Lawless... waaaaay too violent..."

As Heather was narrowing her choices, she found a movie that could suit her very well.

"Ahh, there we go... 'The Five Year Engagement'. Sounds very promising..." Heather murmured as she touched the button that said rent.

However, when it said rent, it was showing a picture for the movie 'The Expendables 2'. Heather knew something was very wrong, although it might have been a mistake.

"What the-?" Heather said in little shock as he touched the back button which showed her the choice of movies once again. She then tapped on 'The Five Year Engagement' picture and out came 'The Expendables 2' once more., "Oh, come on! I don't want The damn Expendables 2, give me Five Year Engagement."

Heather kept on pressing the back button and The Five Year Engagement box over and over again, but it kept getting the same result: 'The Expendables II. The Queen Bee was about seconds away from losing it, but took in one deep breath.

"Okay, Heather... don't be mad. Not good for the body." Heather said to herself in an attempt to keep calm, "Just press back and wait for another few seconds, and then just press it again. It needs to work..."

As soon as Heather took a deep breath, she pressed back again and waited for another several seconds before she proceeded. And as she pressed 'The Five Year Engagement' button...







"The Expendables II" DVD displayed once again. Seeing this, Heather was about to go into 100% bitch mode.

"WHAT? NOOOOO!" Heather shouted to the sky as she began to pound at the machine with her fists. "I DON'T WANT DAMN EXPENDABLES 2! I WANT FRICKIN FIVE YEAR ENGAGEMENT! AND... YOU... ARE... GONNA... GIVE... ME... THE... FUCKING... MOVIE... EVEN... IF... I... HAVE... TO... TURN... YOU... INTO... A CRAP HEAP!"

With one final punch, "The Expendables 2" was put into rent mode. And seeing this, Heather just screamed out of control.

"RAAAAAAAAGH! I HATE THIS DAMN THING! I WANT REDBOX TO BURN IN A GAY-INFESTED HELL! UGGGGGH!" The Queen Bee screamed in anger as she kicked the big red machine away and just left in a huff. The DVD then popped out of the Redbox without the raven-haired beauty knowing, but it looks like Heather didn't care.

And then seconds later, the male model himself, subsequently named Justin, somehow came on the scene and noticed the movie still being stuck on the outside.

"All right, a free movie." Justin chuckled in delight as he brought out the DVD from the machine and looked at the cover, "The Expendables 2. Such an kickass film..."

Somehow, Justin looked down and realized the dents to the machine that Heather made in rage. He then looked right at the teenage clerk.

"Hey, dude. Your machine's all busted and scratched up..." Justin said to the clerk.

"Oh, don't worry. It happens all the time, dude." The clerk replied as he was ringing orders, "Oh, you should've been here, dude. Some long black-haired bitch did one hell of a number on the Redbox machine. It's been jammed ever since. No wonder I forgot to fix it..."

"Yeah..." Justin said as he looked outside the window and saw Heather with a baseball bat, just taking her rage on a ice machine outside of the 7-Eleven, "I might wanna stay away from her for a very long time..."

This was just to prove in a matter of instances of who would win between woman and machine...

Machine won.

There we go, a nice little humorous Heather drabble. I hope that pleases everybody.

Until then, read and review, science bitches!