Princess of Thieves
Another school play, another lead role for Arnold and Helga. How will it turn out this time around?

Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold.
The 'interpretation' and the basis for the 'script' I have used for the Robin Hood play is based very strongly on the Robin Hood TV Series from the BBC (circa 2006-2009). If you haven't ever watched it, you totally should. However, I would like to point out that I also do not own Robin Hood.


March 5th – The Vice Principal's Office

Gerald and I waited patiently as the school's Vice Principal Mrs Gingnam sifted through our school records. Moments after flipping them open she lifted her gaze with a concerned look plastered on her face.

"Boys," Mrs Gingnam began, "I can see you're both very involved in sport, and that's great..."

"But?" Gerald asked.

"But, colleges are looking for well-rounded students and a school resume full of sports leaves limited opportunities." Mrs Gingnam explained.

"What can we do?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if the options would be very appealing.

Mrs Gingnam pulled a binder from her desk draw and flipped through it, "Volunteer work always leaves a good impression or there's positions available on the Homecoming Committee."

Gerald screwed his face up at the mere mention of the Homecoming Committee.

Mrs Gingnam hastily closed the binder and looked toward us expectantly, "Or, I do have a special request, the director of this year's drama production is very interested in having you perform."

Gerald sat up a little in his seat, "We'll do it." he said excitedly.

I looked over to him in shock, "That's a lot of commitment Gerald." I mumbled.

Gerald immediately leaned over toward me, whispering into my ear, "Phoebe is always involved with the drama productions."

I smirked a little at this revelation; Gerald had always had a soft spot for the small Japanese-American girl. I was never sure how deep his feelings ran, he wasn't big on discussing it, but I knew he cared for her a lot. However, I also knew that Phoebe's participation in the drama production could only mean one thing – Helga would be involved too.

"Yeah Gerald and that means Helga will be involved too!" I whispered harshly in response.

Gerald shot me a look of confusion, "And? Why do you get so concerned about her?"

"Well, because she hates me!" I said, rolling my eyes.

Gerald frowned at me, I knew exactly what he was going to say, "Arnold, Helga has hardly even spoken to you since sixth grade!"

I winced a little at that, he was right; Helga Pataki had largely left me alone for the past few years. Fourth grade was the last time things were 'normal' between us, 'normal' being Helga as my bully and me as her ever-patient victim. Then, FTI happened, that moment where she spilled her guts to me and I let her take 'heat of the moment' as a convenient excuse. Helga then spent the fifth grade being even worse toward me, trying her very hardest to prove her overwhelming 'hatred' toward me.

Sixth grade was like a slap in the face, Helga simply gave up. I assumed she finally moved on and therefore no longer had reason to torment me. It wasn't until I had 'lost' her that I finally understood what all those weird feelings I had been ignoring for years meant. I loved Helga Pataki. I felt stupid for only realising that after she had moved on, but I suppose it was hard to accept being in love with a girl who shot a surplus of spit-balls at your head each day.

I'd never told anybody, not even Gerald, about my feelings for Helga, although Gerald was becoming increasingly suspicious of my strange reactions to all-things Helga related.

I laughed nervously at Gerald's comment, "Yeah, you're right. Helga doesn't matter anyway." I lied nervously.

Gerald grinned, turning back to face Mrs Gingnam, "Cool. We'll do the play."

Mrs Gingnam smiled happily, "I'm pleased, I think you'll both enjoy yourselves. I do have to warn you, the director has assigned you both lead roles."

Gerald's eyes grew wide and I was sure mine were looking much the same.

"What play are we doing exactly?" I enquired.

"Georgia Kingsley's 'Robin Hood', adapted for stage." Mrs Gingnam replied.

Georgia Kingsley was a local writer who had recently released her interpretation of the Robin Hood legend. Kingsley's book had fast become a best seller, and a major topic of discussion. One key reason for that was the, shall we say 'intimate' nature of the story.

Gerald raised an eyebrow, "Doesn't that book have like seventeen sex scenes or something?"

Mrs Gingnam chuckled, "Certainly, the book does, however this particular stage adaption has cut all but four intimate scenes... and they're all implied of course. You'll certainly be doing a lot of kissing however."

"My specialty." Gerald smirked.

Gerald liked to consider himself somewhat of the school Casanova, but I knew for a fact he'd never gone further than kissing a few girls. Gerald had certainly had offers from far more, and to go far further than a casual make-out but he had graciously declined. I had my suspicions that Phoebe was the reason behind his reluctance to become involved with other girls. Gerald's problem was that he was too shy to ask Phoebe out, he'd always felt far below the standards of the pretty and intelligent girl.

Mrs Gingnam rolled her eyes slightly at Gerald's comment as she held out a script to each of us, "Gerald you'll play the Sheriff of Nottingham and Arnold, you've been picked as Robin Hood. Rehearsals begin tomorrow afternoon in the Auditorium directly after school." and then flicked her hands at us to leave her office.

Gerald smirked at me as the door of Mrs Gingnam's office closed behind us, "So, Arnold, you're the main man, you know what that means?"

"No?" I respond.

"You'll probably have most of the sex scenes!" Gerald exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes at him, "I cannot believe I got roped into doing the lead in a play yet again." I grumbled.

"Maybe the girl playing Maid Marian will be a hottie, then it'll be worth it." Gerald said, giving me a playful nudge.

I frowned at him, "I'm hardly interested in trying to romance some girl that I have to share implied sex scenes with on a stage."

"If you imply well enough then maybe she'll let you hit it for real." Gerald suggested with a laugh.

I shot him a disapproving glare as we approached the parking lot and headed to our cars parked side by side. I opened the door to the Packard and Gerald tossed his books into his Trans Am.

"Hey, once we've read the scripts through tonight we should give each other a call." Gerald piped up as he settled into his driver's seat.

"Alright" I agreed, "Call me once you've finished it."

Gerald nodded his head and slammed his door shut, firing up the old car with a crackle from the exhaust.