Hey, guys! No, I didn't post on Sunday... *sigh* Oops. Oh well. I'm updating today! :D Many thanks to those of you who reviewed, faved, followed, and read!
This chapter of THS was requested by ILovIceCream. Also, I'm sure that there is some brand of healthy canned fruit out there somewhere, but for the purposes of this chapter, the canned pineapple is very unhealthy.
Disclaimer: The disclaimer is like eating your veggies; you don't want to, but then Bruce suddenly appears and yells at you until you do.
By now, Thor was very much used to seeing strange sights in the kitchen. Between Tony and Bruce's "science projects," Clint and Natasha's spy quirks, Steve's newspaper reading tendencies, and Loki's creation Kreg, the kitchen was never a boring place.
So when Thor entered one morning to find Tony yelling, "Brucie, come out! It won't hurt you!" at an air vent, Thor didn't even blink. Weirder things happened sometimes. Instead, he asked calmly, "Friend Tony, what are you doing?"
"Bruce won't come out of the air vent," Tony complained, pointing and pouting childishly.
In answer, the accusing finger pointed to a can sitting on the bare table. Thor went over and read, "Canned Pineapple" off the label.
"..." Thor said. "How does one put a fruit as large as a pineapple in a can of this size?!"
Tony rolled his eyes and said, "They chop it up."
"And they add preservatives," a slightly muffled voice identified as Bruce added from somewhere in the walls. "Don't eat it, Thor! It's nothing but a disaster of high fructose corn syrup waiting to happen!"
Thor echoed, "High fruit-ose corn syrup? What is it you speak of, Friend Bruce?"
"Fructose," Tony corrected absently. "Anyway, Brucie doesn't like canned fruit of any kind. You're welcome to crack that thing open and try it for yourself if you want." A can opener was tossed at Thor's head, who reflexively caught it.
With a shrug, Thor pried the lid off with his bare fingers and selected a chunk of yellow from the liquid inside and popped it into his mouth.
"Nooo! Thor, how could you?!" came Bruce's muffled voice, sounding betrayed. "Even gods will get heart attacks if they eat that stuff!"
"How did you even know that he ate a piece?" Tony grumbled. "You can't see anything!"
Bruce said mysteriously, "I see everything. Don't roll your eyes at me!"
At that moment, Steve walked into the room with his nose buried in the paper. As he passed, he saw the open can and popped a piece of pineapple into his mouth.
"Nooo! Steve, how could you eat that?!" Sobs that were only slightly exaggerated were heard from the air vent.
"Huh?" the super soldier asked, looking around in confusion. "How can you see me...?"
Tony deadpanned, "Bruce sees everything." And then he added an eyeroll.
"And why am I not supposed to eat this?" Steve asked again. "It tastes fine to me..."
Bruce wailed, "That's because you grew up with the stuff! But it's unhealthy, I tell you!"
Eventually, Thor tuned them all out and pulled out a brand new box of pop tarts.
More appearances from Tony and Bruce. Hehe... At least I got Steve in this one, too! XD *sigh* Poor Brucie...