"KURT!" Sebastian yells, and his tone combined with the marching footsteps in the hall makes Kurt worry about his own safety. He puts down his magazine and stands up just as Sebastian jerks the bedroom door open.
"What. Did you do. To the Wii?" he asks, his expression positively livid. Kurt's first instinct is to laugh, but luckily he manages to bite down that urge.
"What?" he asks instead, because he's not really sure what Sebastian's asking.
"What did you to to the Wii?" Sebastian repeats, clenching and unclenching his fists at his side to try and keep himself calm. Kurt sits down at the bed again, because he doesn't feel like he'll need a defense position for this.
"Nothing?" he says. He hasn't touched the game console in weeks.
Sebastian doesn't look like he believes him for even one second.
"You haven't touched it at all in the past month?" he says, disbelieving.
Kurt frowns and thinks back. "Oh, yeah, I did! I was gonna do some Wii Fit while you were away on that conference thing, but when I turned it on it was all fucked up, so I called Sam. He gave me instructions on how to reset it."
Sebastian goes pale, but then his face gets red so fast that Kurt almost worries.
"What did you just say?" Sebastian grits out.
"Sam gave me instructions on how to reset the Wii. I followed them. It worked," Kurt says, and he honestly doesn't get why this is so upsetting.
Sebastian stares at him. "You reset the Wii?" he asks, sounding like Kurt just told him that sweatpants and wifebeaters will be next season's big thing.
"Yes. It was fucked up," Kurt says again. Honestly, it's not like he would reset the console for fun.
"And you didn't— Wasn't there some kind of warning? Like, 'Caution: If you proceed you may lose all the data of every game you've played ever'?"
Kurt shrugs. "I guess? Sam told me to just proceed."
"Sam told you— Kurt, I was NINETY-EIGHT POINT FOUR PERCENT DONE ONLEGO HARRY POTTER! NINETY-EIGHT POINT FOUR! Do you—" He drags his hands through his hair in frustration, messing it up completely, takes a breath to try and calm himself. "Do you have any idea how much time I've spent on that game?"
"We live together, Sebastian. I think I have a fairly good idea how much time you've spent playing video games."
"And still you couldn't think to ask me before you erased everything I've been working on for two years?!"
"I think you're overreacting," Kurt says calmly, crossing his arms.
Sebastian looks like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing, trying to find words but failing.
"I think you're not getting any sex until I'm at least back to ninety-eight point fivepercent," Sebastian snarls at last, slamming the door shut behind him when he stalks back into the living room.
"Yeah right!" Kurt shouts after him. Sebastian can't go two days without sex, they've tried. Not that Kurt can, either, but that's not the point right now.
"I'm serious!" Sebastian yells back, and he sounds mad enough that Kurt actually believes that he's willing to try.
Kurt bites his lip. It was probably pretty stupid to reset the console without asking, but what was he supposed to do? Just wait until Sebastian came home?
Fuck. Sebastian has spent weeks on that game. Kurt wants to have sex tonight.
He gets an idea. He stands up and opens the door, walks out into the living room, and stops a few steps behind the couch. He watches the screen as Sebastian navigates Diagon Alley and clears his throat. Sebastian shoots him a extremely brief glance.
"What are you gonna do? Break the disc in two?" he mutters.
Kurt sighs. "No. I'm— It goes faster if there's another player, right?"
"Yeah," Sebastian replies without taking his eyes off the screen. "Why?"
Kurt sits down on the other end of the couch, carefully; he's not sure if Sebastian wants him there or not. "I'm sorry," he says. "I should've checked with you before I did anything."
Sebastian hums, acknowledging the apology.
"And I really want to have sex before next month, so I thought I'd help you. If you want to."
"Seriously?" Sebastian asks, flickering his eyes between Kurt and the screen. "You don't know anything about this game."
"So teach me?"
"Seriously?" Sebastian says again, but he sounds a little more interested this time. Kurt nods. "Okay then. Grab the controller, you're in as soon as it's connected."
"Kurt, I'm tired."
"Shh. Come on, where's the last chandelier? We need the Hufflepuff Shield Piece."
"It's…right here," Sebastian says tiredly and navigates Lego Hermione around the corner and casts a spell to light the last chandelier. The last piece of the shield clicks into place. "Can we go to bed now?"
"Hmm, what?" Kurt asks distractedly, not looking away from the mini movie playing on the screen.
"Bed," Sebastian says. "Sleep. Sex."
"We're barely at twenty percent?" Kurt says, like it matters.
"I know," Sebastian says patiently, throwing his controllers onto the coffee table. "And this is me, completely willing to amend my earlier statement. Please come to bed and have sex with me."
"Hey, no, pick those up! We're not done!" Kurt sounds genuinely upset. Sebastian groans.
"Come on, babe. We can continue tomorrow, but I need to sleep. And fuck." He crawls across the couch and leans in to whisper in Kurt's ear. "I'll let you be on top. Bare." He nips at Kurt's earlobe and smirks as Kurt's breath hitches and his eyelids flutter close. He uses Kurt's momentary distraction to grab the controllers from his hands and put them down on the couch, and he keeps him distracted by placing light kisses down his jaw and all the way over to his mouth.
"Will you call me instead of Sam the next time the Wii fucks up?" he asks, his lips almost touching Kurt's. Kurt nods. Sebastian smiles. "Good." Then he pulls back, leaving his boyfriend looking silly with hooded eyes and his whole face angled for a kiss.
"Come on, if you follow me to our chamber of secrets, I'll let you see my wand," Sebastian teases, walking backwards to the bedroom.
"You don't deserve sex if you use that line," Kurt says, but he stands up and turns off the TV and the console.
Sebastian smirks. "Well, then I'll just have to polish it on my own, don't I?"