You're Gonna Hex, Vex?
A/N: Hi there! *Waves* Although I'm a veteran fic writer, this is my very first Lost Girl fic. While everyone loves Docubus or Byson (both are awesome but I'm more inclined towards Docubus myself) – my favourite ship has to be Kenzi/Hale or "Henzi", I can't wait to see where they take that dynamic duo in season 3! So without further ado, here's a silly little one-shot...
Disclaimer: Lost Girl is not mine *sniffle* it belongs to the wonderful Michelle Lovretta and Showcase not a lowly Irish student.
Time-Line: Takes place sometime in season 3.
It had been an interesting few weeks, a refreshing few at that. After Bo defeated the Guardia, the gang had had a reprieve from all the regular madness, a brief but welcome one. Bo and Lauren had long since disappeared, off for some not-so-clandestine lovin' as Dyson moped (Hale's word) back to his apartment. That left Trick, Kenzi and Hale in the popular fae pub – the latter two sharing a celebratory drink.
"To a long needed vacation!" Hale laughed as he and Kenzi toasted, their beer bottles clanging loudly together.
"Aren't you still a cop, G-Man?" Kenzi inquired, staring blearily at him as Trick rolled his eyes, placing two more beers on the bar.
"I am...but even cops are allowed take time off Kenzi," Hale murmured with a shake of his head before he nudged her with his shoulder.
"Look at us, cop and thief, fae and human—"
"—Loser and hottie?"
"You think I'm hot?" he gaped as she leaned forward a little, resting her elbows on the bar.
"I meant me, Siren," she smirked.
"Uh huh, you keep dreaming, human," he replied, hoping the disappointment didn't show on his face. "So...what's your name today? Kenzi Rodgers? Kenzi Smith? Tony Soprano?"
"You heard about that huh?"
"Uh huh. That and Xena Warrior? Really?"
"What? Lucy Lawless is awesome!"
"She's so epic there's two of her!" Kenzi said pointedly before knocking back the rest of her beer and slamming it down on the bar with force, as if to emphasize her point.
"Do you think other people don't watch TV?" Hale asked, chuckling as she immediately started on her other beer.
"Well fae don't, some dude thought my name was actually Tina Fey and blanked on my awesome Harry Potter reference!" she murmured, apparently still pissed that her talents were wasted on all Fae-kind.
"I watch TV," the detective said a little defensively.
"That's 'cause you've way too much time on your hands my friend," she smiled, poking him in the shoulder as she spun back and forth on the chair, her grin a little dopy. How much beer had she again?
"And you don't Ms Soprano?"
Before Kenzi could reply in what was sure to be some smart-ass comment, Vex swaggered in as if he owned the place, heading straight for them, halting at the bar and leaning an elbow on it, his eyes shining with mischievousness and he leered at them.
"Aww...aren't you two so cute with the back and forth banter! It's like watching tennis – except way less interesting...and that's bloody saying something!" he smirked, smacking his hand down on the bar to grab Trick's attention.
"Take a hike Vex," Hale all but growled, his jaw clenching. He still hated that British bastard.
"Or what detective? You'll whistle me to death?" Vex jeered, before close to Kenzi, whispering in her ear, "don't you just hate the fuzz, love?"
"Don't you hate brushing your teeth? Because it sure smells like you do," the human replied without a beat, grimacing and putting her hand over her nose and leaning away from him.
Hale snorted as Vex's smirk fell.
"You think you're so funny don't ya? Well, looks like you got a fan in the copper here...why don't you two just stop tip-toeing around it, eh?" he said gently just as Kenzi stood up and walked towards Hale.
She cut him off by pressing her lips to his. Hale stood there, motionless for a second before his brain kick-started and his hand came up to cup her cheek, his other falling to her hip. But before he could deepen the kiss, Kenzi leapt back suddenly, breaking the kiss harshly, her eyes flaring as she gasped at Vex:
"You try that again Vex and I swear to Gosling's hot abs I will hex you so hard you'll be peeing through your nose!"
Hale's world shattered. It was then he realized that Vex had made Kenzi do it. She hadn't wanted to kiss him at all...god, how could he be so stupid?!
"Ooh feisty! I like that in a woman," the dark fae grinned, taking another step towards the human and staring down at her.
Hale watched as Vex advanced on his friend, the young woman that was becoming so much more to him despite his brain's protest and went to intervene only to find that he couldn't move his body. Slowly, his gazed down to see Vex's hand slightly outstretched to him. Two pairs of eyes flickered to him, Kenzi realizing that Vex was controlling him.
"Yeah well, women don't like anything in you, or you in or near them," she muttered, her bright orbs still narrowed in a glare.
"Yeah but...I can change that..." he raised his other hand and Kenzi felt her body again being manipulated, forcing her feet to step closer to him, her face inches from his.
"Ugh! You smell like cigarettes and desperation," she grimaced as she was forced to stand still.
"You prefer the tall, dark and carolling type do ya?"
Kenzi's eyes flickered to the cop for a split second before she hissed with as much conviction as she could muster:
"Hale is worth six billion of you..."
"Aww how sweet!" Vex murmured, catching Hale's eye before turning back to the feisty girl, "Good thing I got ya snogging like a couple of horny teenagers then eh?"
A flush rose up Kenzi's neck, spreading across her face. Oh humans...they were so transparent.
"You can't go around making people—"
"—Oh but I can love. Just think of me as a modern day Cupid."
"You would pull off the diaper look."
Vex snorted at that. The small human really did amuse him sometimes...
"You're hilarious; really, if you weren't a filthy human I might just find you attractive."
"And if you weren't a disgusting lowlife doing a bad Jack Sparrow impression, I'd still wanna gouge your eyes out with a spoon," she snapped.
"The lady doth protest too much methinks," the British man quipped with a shrug.
"Dude seriously, Shakespeare? Could you get any more British? Ugh! Let us go!" she growled before her body was finally released, she able to step away from him and towards Hale who now appeared to back in control of himself too.
"You look cute when you're angry," Vex commented, watching as she began gathering up her things from the bar.
"And you look like you were rejected from The Cure and hired to impersonate Russell Brand," she threw over her shoulder without looking at him.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"You can take it up your ass for all I care. Just stay away from me and Hale!" she growled, whirling back around, her face still flushed, not able to look him in the eye.
"Protective are we?"
She met his eyes then, her own flashing with something he couldn't identify as she rubbed her arm absentmindedly.
"I mean it Vex, no more magic hands!"
"But you haven't seen everything they can do..." he winked as she rolled her eyes.
"And I hope I never will, for my own sanity..." she grumbled before nodding to Hale, draining the last of her beer.
"Well, can't say it was a pleasure Vex but let's just pretend I did," she said without looking at him, turning to Hale, not able to meet his eye either, her skin still flushed, "I uh...I'll see you later..." she finished before turning on her heel, pushing past the dark fae and exiting the bar, muttering something about hexes and asses under her breath as she did so.
After she disappeared from sight, Vex turned to Hale who was glaring at him.
"Was it something I said?"
A/N: Okay so, I wrote that ages ago but just never posted it. I've never written so much dialogue in my life but Kenzi's banter is just too addictive. Hope you guys liked it! I plan to write more serious and lengthy LG stuff when Season 3 premieres :D