Hi everyone! We're twin sisters from Brazil who decided to write about this pair. Please, bear with us as far as spelling errors are concerned. I hope you guys like it and if you do, a review never hurts, right? Até a próxima!
"I think we should have sex."
Joan had just gotten back from the grocery store across the street and was still closing the front door when she was surprised by that voice coming from the living room.
"I have been considering our options for a while now and after analyzing the possible outcomes for every single one of them I came to the inevitable conclusion that that is the best way for us to proceed if we intend this partnership to work."
Watson took a few more steps towards the sound only to find a sitting Sherlock facing the wall.
"Are you talking to me?" she asked confused.
"I am most certainly not talking to Angus." he simply stated while getting up to finally face her.
Joan was paralyzed for a second. She could've sworn that she heard him say that the two of them should sleep together. What was she thinking to assume he would ever say something of the sort?
"Sorry, what did you say?" Watson questioned while shoving her keys inside her back pocket and still trying to get her way with the supermarket bags.
"We should have sex." Sherlock repeated his previous words with the normality of someone who just offers another person coffee or tea. "And the sooner, the better."
Joan blinked a couple of times as if she was trying to believe in what she had just heard. She then put the bags on the floor and approached him slowly.
"Are you okay?" the doctor asked already checking for any sign that could indicate any abnormality.
"I'm fine," he answered "and that includes the absence of any sexual transmitted disease that I might had, if that's what you meant to imply."
"No!" Joan exclaimed louder than she intended "I didn't mean to imply anything." She stepped closer to him and looked into his eyes.
"You took something, didn't you?"
Sherlock just smirked:
"Do you assume that about every man who shows sexual interest in you?"
The ex-surgeon rolled her eyes and backed away.
"But don't you worry. I haven't taken, nor injected, nor smoked anything. As I stated earlier, I am fine. You can run one of your tests if you like."
Joan stared at him for a moment and then burst out laughing:
"Oh! I get it. It's a joke, right?" she concluded. "You were bored so you used the time I was out to plan this. I get to that door and you say the craziest thing that crosses your mind only to see how I react. Am I right?"
"Good God, Watson! Is it really that hard to believe that a man genuinely wants to sleep with you?"
The smile on Joan's face soon faded. He couldn't be serious! Or could he?
"You can't be serious." she now actually said it.
Sherlock remained quiet only confirming what the doctor already feared. She then put her hands behind her head and let out a sigh.
"You're my client…" Watson stated the obvious.
"And that is exactly why we should do it!" Holmes cut her off before she could say anything else.
"Recent studies have shown that men and women who spend a fair amount of time together tend to develop a very particular kind of relationship. In 13% of the cases, however, the interaction doesn't differ much from a common friendship where both people involved only appreciate each other's companion and mutual interests. But, in the other 87%, this relationship takes another direction. It normally starts with a simple physical attraction that consequently evolves into sexual tension which progressively ruins the communication between the two subjects until the point of total exhaustion both physical and emotional."
Joan, who hadn't made a sound so far, decided to finally speak:
"Well, if that is the problem then you don't have to worry. I don't feel attracted to you."
"And I don't feel attracted to you either," Holmes said in reciprocity "but… (it had to have a "but") the same studies have pointed out that in 11% of those cases the attraction is not immediate, being the routine and some other aspects the responsible for it.
"Other aspects?" Watson asked less interested than what she really sounded.
"Physical aspects." Sherlock answered and didn't even wait for a retort as he continued:
"You, Ms. Watson," he pointed "with the exception of the breasts that could be bigger, possess all the attributes considered attractive by men." Almost immediately, Joan crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Long hair, delicate facial features and the right proportion between the waist line and hips."
For a moment the doctor felt embarrassed as she became more blushed than usual. Luckily enough, Sherlock pretended not to notice.
"I myself, and I'm just citing scientific data here, also have qualities highly appreciated by your gender. I'm not fat, my height is quite reasonable and apparently women tend to feel attracted to intelligent men with great sense of humor."
"You're definitely right about that last one."
Holmes didn't hear or simply ignored her comment and carried on:
"So, if we take those studies into account, the probability for us to feel attracted to each other in a very near future is alarmingly high. That's why I suggest us to get ahead of things. We have sex now, when is purely physical without any sort of feelings involved and then we can avoid a possible sexual tension later, maintaining our partnership intact where I talk, you listen and together we solve crimes.
Joan remained in silence with her eyes on his. She didn't know if she should answer, or just laugh, or even just ignore the whole situation and leave.
"So, what do you say?" Holmes asked eagerly.
The doctor simply checked her watch and grabbed the bags from the floor.
"Well, I say I'm gonna take these to the kitchen then I'll take a shower to go to bed…ALONE." she emphasized the last part and left.
"I imagined you wouldn't be able to understand the benefits of my proposal." the detective spoke and then returned to his usual seat.
Watson laughed at his last comment and after finishing storing the groceries in the kitchen, she went back to the living room.
"I can only hope that you and I represent the other 13%, I suppose." Sherlock said clearly disappointed.
"Yeah, me too." Joan agreed and directed herself to the stairs.
The silence filled the room only for a few seconds before Sherlock decided to speak one last time:
"Things would be simpler if you were a guy, Watson."
The doctor, who was already on the seventh flight of steps, couldn't help a smile on her face. Not even if she were a plant things would be simpler.
"Good night, Sherlock." she said in a low tone and continued to climb.