I still try to sleep. Try to run in my dreams, get away from the madness. But when I fall into unconciousness its like there's no escape. No place to run. And when I awake, he's not there. No ones there anymore. Sometimes I think I should call him, plead for forgiveness, but that would just be worthless.

He hung up on me last time and that was an actual revelation. But the thing is, he didn't sound shocked. He just had the slightest bit of pity in his voice, so I think he knew. He knew it, but he still told me to go. I wonder if he expects me to say yes. I think he might. But I won't. I'm going to do that much. For him. For Cas.

Cas. I miss him. Sometimes I wonder if I should try to contact him to. But then I just remember he's an angel. And if he was the one who told Dean, this is probably the reason he hated me so much. Hates me so much. I guess I'm actually hated by the high-heavens. Kinda funny that I was the religious one. Kinda funny.

The Devil told me Dean was Micheal's vessel. I hope he doesn't say yes. I know he won't say yes. I still believe in him, even though he doesn't believe in me. Its not like he's done anything wrong. Just me. Only me. As always. But I'm glad he's the some-what good guy, thats what he deserves. Just like me, I'm getting what I deserve.

But even if the Devil tortures me, I won't say yes. Because I need to hold out. I need to hold out til the end. The Devil said I couldn't die, And he was right. I tried, and failed. I failed at dying. Isn't that just hysterical. I'm the only one in the world who can fail at dying.

I think its better if I hold this out alone. The Devil will be my only companion. My curse for now. My lonlyness will be a better torture. Cause, you know. Its what I deserve.

Thanks for reading!
What did you think? Tell me if I should continue or it should stay a one-shot...
If I continue it'll probably become a Sass fic, and it'll be all cutness...
Lots of Love, Mana Walker