HJS-NS-23-Authors note will be at the end the only thing you need to know is that in this story there is no Quinn and Clay and it picks up in season 9 episode 8. Thoughts are italicized and flashbacks are bolded and italicized. Enjoy.
Quotes: Miracles happen everyday, change your perception of what a miracle is and you'll see them all around you. -Jon Bon Jovi
Disclaimer: I do not own OTH unfortunately and the quotes that are "" "" are the exact lines from OTH episodes so I do not own those either.
Dr. Alvarez sat looking at Clay, his face impassive as he looked at his clien t waiting for him to speak. Clay looked down before speaking trying to find the right words to verbalize the incident. ""She was in the kitchen... Angel flying to close to the ground was playing on the record player."" It was hard for him to talk about Sara, the gut wrenching sensation of the memory filling him until he almost couldn't breathe. He heard the lyrics in his head and continued before he could stop himself. ""She liked the scratches and pops of the vinyl albums."" Clay closed his eyes remembering the sounds of the old vinyls and how even now it was so hard to listen to them without her. He reminisced how he used to tease her as they went to music stores looking for vinyl albums instead of cd's like most people. He sighed knowing how the next part made the vice that has curled around his heart that day squeeze painfully in his chest. He hated reliving that day, that moment, in his head, but if it was going to make him better talking to Dr. Alvarez about all this than he had to try his best to choke out the words. ""And then her eyes rolled back into her head and I watched her body… just quit… She just stopped."" Clay looked up then watching his psychiatrist with his hands clasped together viewing him as if he wasn't spilling his feelings out of him. If he looked at the doctor maybe his heart wouldn't shatter thinking about how he didn't get to her in time. The pain and sorrow evident on his face as Dr. Alvarez sat still waiting for him to on. ""So I ran to her and I was thinking that no matter how hard I pressed my legs against the ground it wasn't fast enough."" He gulped back the lump in his throat as the video played in his mind of Sara's body hitting the floor, her hair covering her face and him on his knees as he moved her head to try and get her to look at him. He begged her to open her eyes and look at him, to hear her melodic laugh and tell him it was a joke, even though he knew in his heart it was too cruel of a joke that Sara would play on him. ""it took me an eternity to get to her."" Clay stopped for a second trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall down. He had to be strong he reminded himself. ""And as I was holding her I remember thinking this must be a dream. You know as if my brain was telling me this couldn't be reality. 25 year old woman don't just drop dead. I waited for her to wake up…I was numb…I couldn't speak or move."" He barely remembered calling the ambulance and them arriving. It almost just felt like a nightmare that could never really go away. All he could remember was the paramedic's floating around her and hoisting her up onto a stretcher as he watched them take his angel. "" I just stood over her while they put her on a stretcher and pulled a sheet over her face. I was thinking this can't be real. This can't be real."" He missed the look on the psychiatrist's face as he talked about the sheet being pulled up.
""What happened next Clay?" Dr. Alvarez asked tilting his head to the side as he asked the question, his heads intertwined as he hoped this time Clay would remember.
""I was thinking I can't go on without her I just…I can't possibly…"" Clay felt his heart being shredded as he watched the paramedic's wheel his wife away and out of his life forever. He flashed back in his mind again as he turned around and faced a wall…well he thought it was a wall…it was blurry and for the life of him he couldn't remember why he was looking in that direction or what he was supposed to be seeing . Clay looked down and scrunched his face trying to remember why that memory seemed so important, but that he couldn't remember it at all until just now.
""What do you see Clay?"" Dr. Alvarez asked his voice pushing Clay to remember.
""I can't talk about this."" Clay replied frustrated getting up and walking to the door. He's repressing this memory for a reason he reminded himself otherwise I never would've been here.
""Can't or don't want to?"" Dr. Alvarez questioned the young man in front of him.
""Either,"" Clay told him as he walked out the door purposely making his way towards the exit. He reminded himself this was the best thing to do. He told the doctor about Sara and now all the sleep walking would end. His treacherous mind played with him as he watched flashes of Sara, his beautiful wife pouring her grape juice as she smiled and looked at him right before she collapsed. He remembered how nervous he was for interviewing and her standing in the kitchen in one of his white dress shirts pulling out a small box from a drawer and opening it to reveal a ring.
""Here,"" She said walking over to him and slipping a gold band on his left ring finger. ""Married says mature, stable and dependable. Everything they'll want to see in a future agent."" Her face staring at his and the gold band slides into place.
Clay looks at her, his confusion showing on his face and in his words. ""Only I'm not married."
""Than marry me you knucklehead," she chuckles as he sees his eyes widen in surprise.
Looking down at the ring and then her face he answer's her. ""Yes"" Sara's infectious laughter makes him repeat himself. ""Yes"" he tells her not believing his luck as a huge grin spread his face and she laughs at him.
"Well there's that boyish grin,"" she tells him her arms coming around and clasping around his back as her 100 watt smile lights up her face and she leans forward and kisses him.
His mind goes back to that blurry picture he just saw as he stops straining to remember. Looking over he notices he stopped in front of Logan's room, the little boy that seemed to melt Clay's heart with his inquisitive nature, as Clay watches Logan playing with his airplane he imagines it as a plush blue one with a brown propeller and red wings before seeing Logan playing with his plane. A real model airplane.
Before he can adjust to what he's just thought he's seen he is back in Sara's and his apartment looking at something before flashing back to present time and seeing Logan looking at him, his dark green eyes watching him as he flashes back to that stupid blurry blue wall and suddenly it sharpens and he makes out a beautiful oak crib with a blue fitted sheep and brown and navy airplanes decorating it and the airplane mobile circling around. A baby coos and it's as if his mind knows what he wants as it zeroes in on the baby boy trying to suck his toes.
His beautiful blonde hair a shade between his and Sara's, the little baby staring at him as his brain tries to process what his memory had finally allowed him to remember. He sees an alphabet puzzle and a picture of him and Sara with baby blocks littered on the table and a rubber ducky. He finally feels himself back in the hallway of the center and sees Logan looking at him. Before he can put the two images together he gets another flash of the crib, only this time written about the crib on the wall the name Logan is spelled out with an airplane zooming off the N. After the flash leaves him he sees Logan, the hair, the eyes, it clicks. Logan, the Logan he has come to know while being in the center, is his son. As that crazy idea pops into his brain he swiftly walks back to Dr. Alvarez office needing an explanation or a reason why Clay could ever think this was true. Opening the door he braces himself for the confrontation, but before he can say anything…
Doctor Alvarez asks, ""What did you see?""
""You know what I saw…"" Clay toId him trying to contain his anger and control his voice. ""I saw my son. You're telling me that he's my son."" Clay stated pointing towards the door, his voice rough as he tried to hold his temper in.
""I'm not telling you anything. You have to tell me."" Dr. Alvarez said his voice calm, which only irked Clay more.
"How'd you do this? You're screwing with my head." Clay's voice raised wanting to know how he had done that, how he had made Clay forget he had a son.
""Clay I haven't done anything. Like I said before I believe your mind has been trying to tell you something for quite some time now."" The doctor responded.
""So you've known about this the whole time? You let me walk around unaware of my own child…for years...until I'm some sort of zombie waking up on merry-go-rounds. Why the hell didn't you tell me?"" Clay practically growled feeling the anger and frustration coming to the forefront of his voice.
Clay was beyond pissed as he looked at his doctor. He had missed 4 years of his son's life. 4 years of having a part of Sara with him because the doctor didn't tell him.
""We tried."" Doctor Alvarez said trying not to upset his patient even more.
""Whose we?"" asked Clay, wanting to know how many people had been a part of this secret. How many people who knew he had a son and not told him.
""Sara's parents, me. Clay I told you every day after Sara was admitted, but you blocked it out. You weren't ready.""
""We'll I'm not ready now either. He said that you told him he was going to be leaving soon, why? Because he's going to be leaving with me? He's not leaving with me,"" Clay said practically roaring at the doctor before turning around and walking back out the door and through the hallway, this time not even stopping in front of his son's room. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he had a son. Logan the little boy that he had gotten to know and made him smile was his son.
""Clay? Want to put the plane back together now? Clay are you ready? Where you going? Clay?"" He vaguely heard Logan's voice as he walked out the door.
He didn't know where he was going to go; he just knew he had to get out of there. The walls were starting to close in and he just needed fresh air. He broke through the doors leading to the fresh air and collapsed on a park bench just outside the clinic. Putting his head in his hands he felt the tears well in his eyes and tried to push them back. He had a son….that beautiful little boy in there was his son…Logan….his little wolverine…the child he was going to raise with Sara. I have a son….Clay thought letting it trail off as it finally sunk in. The little boy that I have been getting to know…is my son. He's perfect, he thought to himself as he pictured the little boy that was living in the clinic. He's the perfect blend of Sara and me. His smile reminds me of Sara. How did I not notice it before? I'm such a bad dad that I forgot about my own son for 4 years.
Needing to get off the bench and away from this place Clay stood up and let himself wander. His thoughts were now scrambling to remember everything as he let his feet wander around the town , after all this is why he came to the clinic anyways because he was a walking zombie.
Sara walked out of the bathroom and sat next to Clay on the couch. Her face was pale as she plopped next to him. Clay was reading the newspaper his arm stretched on the back of the couch. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked noticing her expression of anxiety mixed with wonderment. He put the paper down and turned towards her. Sara moved so her legs were pulled up underneath her body as she looked at her husband. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" She asked biting her lip as her eyes twinkled in anxiety and happiness.
"Are you…are we having a baby?" Clay asked his voice laced with astonishment.
"According to the test I just took." Sara responded, her smile finally bursting out of her as she looked him in the eyes and saw the happiness shining in his.
"I love you," Clay told her bringing his arm that was resting along the couch to pull her to him and kissed her deeply.
"I love you too, you knucklehead," Sara told him affectionately as she laughed at the joyous news and his reaction.
"We're having a baby," Clay yelled standing up and grabbing her hand before pulling her up off the couch and swinging her around. Sara's laugh filled the living room at how excited Clay was. "Wait, are you okay? Are you going to be sick? I should stop twirling you; we don't know what it will do to the baby." Clay rambled, practically pushing her back on the couch.
"Hunny I'm fine," Sara told him as she watched him pace back and forth. Grabbing his hand as he walked past her she stopped him and stood up lacing her fingers with him. "You will be a great father," she told him running a hand through his hair reassuringly. "But right now, as long as you do what I tell you to do, we will both be okay." She said smiling and placing their joined hands on her stomach. Clay just smiled as he looked into her eyes. He had thought he had loved her before, but it was nothing like the love that was swelling up his heart and overflowing it for the woman who was now carrying his child. Their child. The perfect mix of both of them.
Looking up Clay was surprised to find himself standing in front of the Scott home. Nathan had become more than a client; he had become Clay's best friend. But if he's my best friend than why haven't I told him about Sara? Clay thought to himself as he walked up to the door and made a fist before knocking on the door. Well I need someone to talk to about Logan and Nathan has a son…maybe he can help me. Clay thought as he waited for one of the Scott's to open the door.
"Hey Clay," Haley said opening the door and gesturing him through the threshold. "How are you doing?" Haley asked as Clay walked into the foyer.
"I'm okay…I guess," Clay responded running a hand through his hair. "Is Nathan around?" Clay asked looking around the place.
"Yeah, I'll go get him. He's telling Jamie goodnight right now." Haley said before turning around and going up the stairs to Jamie's bedroom.
I should be telling my son good night right now. Clay thought to himself. If only they would've tried harder to tell me I had a son.
He is pulled out of his thoughts when he hears Nathan on the stairs. "Clay man what's up?" Nathan asked greeting his friend.
Clay looked at him before taking a deep breath. How is he supposed to tell Nathan about having a son without telling him about being married and losing his wife? Talking about Sara was hard enough with Dr. Alvarez, and the doctor knew about her. "I need someone to talk to, and I just let my mind wander and ended up here."
"Okay what's going on?" Nathan asked sitting on the couch as Clay eased himself on the chair next to the couch.
Well better just start from the beginning I guess, Clay thought. "I had a wife…we were married for 3 years. She was beautiful, my angel and I loved her." Clay started not thinking about what he was saying, but just speaking so Nathan would know.
"What happened?" Nathan asked furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to figure why Clay was telling him about this.
"She died." Clay answered not looking at Nathan feeling his heart being ripped out of his chest as he whispered the words. "An aneurysm."
Nathan looked at Clay, a sympathetic glance; it was one Clay had seen millions of times when Sara died.
"She was only 25. Lately I have been sleepwalking all around the city so I went and got some help. It turns out Sara and me…." Clay took his hand and rubbed his head before continuing struggling to get out the words. "Sara and I had a son." Clay finally spit out.
"What happened to your son?" Nathan asked confusion etched in his voice.
"He's still alive. He was at the clinic I was staying at trying to figure out why I was sleepwalking." Clay stood up and started pacing. "The damn doctor knew Nate." Clay said throwing his hands up in the air. "He knew and when I remembered he said he tried to tell me. What kind of dad forgets he has a son? Huh? I missed 4 years of his life….and the doctor…the doctor said, 'We tried' and when I asked who, he said, 'Sara's parents, me.' He told me, 'Clay I told you every day after Sara was admitted, but you blocked it out. You weren't ready.' Wait….when Sara was admitted…he thoughthis brain finally catching up to what the doctor said. "What do you think he means when he said Sara was admitted. Do you think Sara is still alive?" Clay asked Nathan his eyes showing hope and confusion. If she's alive though why isn't she with me then? Clay thought.
Nathan stared at Clay trying to process all that his friend has just told him. "Clay man I don't know what that means. I think honestly that you need to talk to Dr. Alvarez and try to get him to give you the answers you need."
Clay stares at Nathan for a few minutes his mind darting all over the place. Pieces of his memory trying to fit back together. Flashes of Sara being taken out on the stretcher as the paramedics fled to the ambulance, her being loaded into the ambulance and a paramedic explained where they were taking her and where Clay could meet them. Clay could vaguely remember standing there looking at his son in the crib and wondering what he was going to do with him without Sara helping him. Clay flashed to himself grabbing the baby and diaper bag and dashing to the hospital, meeting Sara's parents and the sterile waiting room as he paced waiting for the doctor to come out and give him news about his wife. Clay felt like his brain was exploding as a sharp pain ripped through his head. Grasping his head in his hands he felt the world start to slip away. The edges of his vision started to blur and using one hand found the chair he was sitting in before and plopped into it. Grabbing his head again he felt as if this time he really was losing it.
Nathan watched as his friend collapsed into the chair he had just been sitting in. "Clay are you alright? Do you need me to call someone?" he asked the concern in his voice.
Still clutching his head Clay looked up at Nathan and shakes his head no. "I just need a minute," he says quietly. His thoughts still were racing through his head. He needs to find out the truth, he needs to know if Sara is still alive.
NHRMC flashed in his head before filling themselves out. New Hanover Regional Medical Center, that's where they took Sara, Clay thought. I have to go see if she's there. Shaking his head to try and get rid of the pounding in his head Clay got up and walked out the door not even bothering to say goodbye to Nathan or telling him where he was going.
Haley walked down the stairs and barely made it to the foyer before Clay almost ran her over on his way out. "Is everything okay with Clay?" Haley asked concern lacing her voice as she looked at her husband who had a dumbfounded look on his face as he stared at the closed door.
"No." Nathan answered before going back to just gawking at the door. What the hell? He thought to himself.
Clay walked out the door and walked to his apartment. He needed his car to get to the medical center. Walking into his house he quickly grabbed the keys and got into his 1966 Chevy Corvette sting ray. Barely taking the time to buckle his seatbelt Clay pushed the gas pedal down. He had to know if Sara was still alive or if it was just his mind playing tricks on him again. Pulling in the parking lot, he couldn't have told you how he made it to the medical center in such a short time. True the center was only a 45 minutes away in Wilmington, but it was as if his brain was on auto pilot. This is it….time to see if Sara really is alive, Clay thought his hand shaking as he pulled the keys out of the ignition and slipped off his seatbelt. Shutting the door he made his way into the building, the automatic doors whooshing open as he walked in and found himself standing in front of the front desk. Taking a deep breath he realized this moment here, was whether he would find out if Sara was truly still alive or if he had been right all these years and Sara had died that day.
"Hi I was wondering if you could tell me what room Sara Evans is in please." Clay asked politely, crossing his fingers behind his back that she would give him a room number and half scared to death that she would look at him like he crazy. Figuring if he asked what room Sara was in would be better to ask than if Sara was admitted at this hospital. After all shouldn't a husband know if his wife was admitted in a hospital?
"Let me look. One moment please." The nurse said politely typing on the keys in front of her. "May I ask how you're related to her?" The nurse asked after looking at the screen.
"She's my wife," Clay responded his palms sweaty as his heart was galloping in his chest. If she's asking how I know Sara than does that mean she's really here god I hope so, Clay thought to himself.
"Okay thank you, I have to make sure you were family since she is in a special part of the hospital and only family is allowed. She's in room 2825, but you will have to talk to Dr. Michael Nichols, before you are allowed to see her. Take the elevator to the second floor and ask a nurse at the desk to page him." The woman told him shooting daggers at him. Clay thanked her briefly before walking away, his head held down in shame. After all shouldn't a husband know what room his wife is in if she was in the hospital?
Pressing the button to call the elevator Clay tapped the side of his leg as he waited what felt like eons, but was only a few seconds for the elevator to come. If Sara wasn't alive they wouldn't have me going up to the 2nd floor to talk to her doctor would they? Clay asked himself internally as he waited for the elevator to come. Stepping in he pressed the 2nd floor button and was lifted up before the doors opened depositing him on the floor, where Sara's doctor was.
Clay got off the elevator and slowly made his way to the nurse's desk. Within a few seconds he was standing in front of a pleasant looking older nurse who looked up at him with a smile "Can I help you?" she asked kindly.
Clay just stared at her for a moment speechless before clearing his throat. "Um yeah hi, my name is Clay Evans the lady downstairs told me I needed to come up here and talk to Dr. Nichols before I could see my wife Sara Evans." he says quietly unsure of himself.
"Just give me one minute to page him. You can have a seat right over there and I will have him talk to you as soon as he gets a chance." She responded pointing to a cluster of chairs before typing in a set of keys on the computer.
Clay walked over and sat in a chair. Jiggling his leg from the nerves he let his mind wander on what the doctor would say. How could he think Sara was dead when this little interaction he's had at the hospital points that she is alive. Picking up a magazine that was sitting on the table next to him, Clay flipped through it, trying to quiet his brain that was yelling at him to go see Sara.
Clay was starting to get impatient waiting for the doctor. He tossed the magazine back onto the table, then propped his elbows on his knees impatiently tapping his foot. Just as he was getting ready to go ask what was taking so long he heard his name.
"Mr. Evans?" An older man asked looking around.
"Yes. Dr. Nichols I presume," Clay answered looking at the man before him. The man was a couple inches shorter than Clay and was beginning to bald on the top of his head. His light brown hair was speckled with gray from having such a stressful job and his older age.
"It's great seeing you again, although it has been quite a long time since I've you've been here." The doctor said shaking Clay's hand. "How's Logan doing?" He asked.
Clay instantly felt guilty. He obviously had met the doctor before and the doctor remembered they had a son and his name.
Clay dropped his head in shame, "I know it's been a long time and I'm truly sorry for that. But things haven't been that great for me." he said not sure how to explain.
"I understand," Dr. Nichols responded nodding his head. "Not much has changed in the last 4 years since you have been here. Sara is still in a coma. Her brain pattern is strong and the team is not sure why she won't wake up. Her injuries look like they have healed and we won't know if there is any permanent brain damage unless she wakes up. Right now we are still waiting on her.
Clay felt like the room was closing in on him and his heartbeat increased. Sara was alive….she was in a coma, but she could still wake up from it. After all people came out of comas all the time, he thought. But usually people who wake up from comas haven't been in them for four years. He reminded himself sulkily. "Can I….Can I see her?" Clay asked hesitantly hoping the doctor would allow him to see his wife.
"Just be careful of the equipment and if there are any changes or anything please get a nurse immediately." Dr. Nichols told Clay as he walked him to Sara's room. Before he could push the door open, the Doctor's beeper went off. "I'm sorry I must go tend to this patient. Just go through the door and Sara will be in there. It's good to see you again Mr. Evans," Dr. Nichols said as he walked away.
Taking a deep breath Clay walked in to the door on the right. "What the hell?" Clay said out loud in the quiet room. On a hospital bed an old man was lying there his snoring and machines filling the room. Turning around he walked out of the room and glanced at the number on the off chance that it was the wrong room. 2827 was printed on the door to the room he had just been in. Looking across the hall the room number stated 2825. Taking another deep breath he pushed open the door and walked in. The room was bathed in darkness except for a tiny light that shown on the bed.
"Sara," Clay whispered before his longs legs carried him to the chair beside the bed. A huge grin spread across his face and he felt the tears come to his eyes as he saw his wife lying in a hospital bed.
She's alive; Clay thought now seeing the tangible proof in front of him. He felt his knees buckle as he fell into the chair. His angel was still with him. Looking at her he saw her beautiful blonde hair fanning around her head. Her beautiful green eyes that he was normally so mesmerized by were closed, her eye lashes a sharp contrast to her porcelain skin. Needing…no aching to touch her and make sure she was real Clay lightly touched her hand. Her dainty hands were marked with tubes and a machine filled the silent room with beeps indicating that her heart was still beating. There were a few other machines Clay didn't know their purpose, but knew they were helping Sara.
""Hi Angel. Um I know we haven't talked in a while, but I've kinda been busy,"" Clay told her before continuing. "Not that that's an excuse." Looking at Sara he wondered how much he should tell her before realizing he should just tell her everything. ""I started roaming the countryside and then I kinda got committed."" Clay felt a smile tugging on his face as he could only imagine his wife's reaction to him being committed. She always did say he was a little crazy. "I am so sorry baby. I'm so sorry," Clay told his wife. He hated showing weakness, but he couldn't contain the tears of joy slipping from his eyes at seeing his wife and feeling her warm skin against his. ""I found him Sara, our son."" Clay took a deep breath before continuing. ""I'm ashamed of myself for ever losing him in the first place. Dr. Alvarez says that I just blocked him from my memory after your accident because it was just too painful. But that doesn't make it okay… For me or for him… I'm sorry. I won't let you down with him Sara and I won't let him down either. I promise."" Clay looked down at the ground ashamed at everything he was telling Sara. "Somehow my mind went blank and I forgot things, important things. Your accident I remembered, but my mind conjured it up that you died. I don't know why it did. Maybe it was because you're such a big part of my life and I can't imagine you living on this earth and not being with me. Baby I need you. How am I supposed to tell Logan that I'm his dad? How am I supposed to explain why I haven't been around for 5 years? I don't know what to do and I can't do this without you Sara. I need you. Angel come back to me please," Clay begged holding Sara's hand and bowing his head.
A soft knock filled the silence as he sat there after his confession. "Hi, I just wanted to remind you that visiting hours will be over in 10 minutes, but you can come back tomorrow at 8 am," a kindly older nurse told him.
"Thanks," Clay responded hoarsely. The nurse walked out and Clay looked up needing to drink in his wife's beauty for as long as he could. Looking down at Sara he put a fist to his mouth when he saw the simple heart necklace she was wearing. It was the little silver heart necklace he had bought her the day Logan was born.
Sara gazed up at her husband lovingly as their little baby boy was nestled in his daddy's arms. Clay looked down her before looking at the little boy wrapped in a blue blanket with a tiny little hat covering his little tuff of hair, his heart bursting at the love he felt for his wife and now his son. His son. This was his little wolverine. "Well on congratulating Mommy on doing such a wonderful job with you why don't you give her this?" Clay told his son as he handed him to his wife, a small tissue wrapped package lying on top of the blanket.
"What is this?" Sara asked trying to hold the baby and look at the present. Clay quickly scooped up his son again so his wife could easily open the small package. "Just a little present from your son and husband," He told her smiling as she bit her bottom lip and grinned up at him. No matter how long they had been together her husband's sweetness always made her glad she had married him. Unwrapping the blue tissue paper a little necklace fell out. Sara gently picked it up and tears came to her eyes as she saw the little silver heart dangling on a delicate silver chain. On the top of the heart was a capital E for Evans. "It's beautiful," She said looking up as the tears fell freely from her eyes.
"So are you," Clay told her wiping a tear off her cheek before pressing his lips against it. "I love you Sara Kay Evans."
"I love you too Clayton Evans," Sara said laughing as he winced at hearing his full first name and not just Clay.
"I have to go soon Angel, but I'll be back tomorrow. I'm going to go talk to Logan first and start putting our family back together, I'm going to be better I promise, but you have to open up those dazzling green eyes for me okay. I can't raise our son by myself. He needs his mom. I need his mom." Clay told her as he held her hand. Leaning down he pressed his lips lightly against his wife's as his palm cupped her cheek. "So much for true love's kiss waking you up." He whispered. You just want to make me work for it don't you baby? He thought to himself. Standing up Clay drank in the beauty of his wife and the steady rhythm of her heart beating before making his way to the door. "I love you Sara." He told her before walking out the door and making his way out of the hospital.
As soon as Clay got home he walked into his bedroom and went to his closet. Opening the door he quickly grabbed a large cardboard box filled with mementos of Sara. Pulling out a picture frame Clay sat down on the floor and smiled a genuine smile that he hadn't worn in forever. Sara was alive and somewhere deep in his gut he knew that she would wake up. She won't leave me forever he thought before pulling out the next article in the box. This time it was a DVD of their wedding. Standing up he walked to the TV in his room and put the disk in the player before grabbing the remote and sitting on the edge of the bed. Waiting for the DVD to load he reached over and grabbed the box. Digging inside it he found a velvet box and opened it. Nestled inside were three rings. As he looked at the rings he heard Sara's vows and stopped to watch the video.
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." Dr. Seuss said this and it's true." Sara said looking deep into Clay's eyes. "I dreamt of the perfect man ever since I was a little girl and the guy that was in my dreams than is nothing compared to you. You are my perfect guy. Every morning I wake up and I feel so lucky that I met you and fell in love with you. I never thought I would ever not miss my sleep," Sara laughed as Clay chuckled both knowing how much she loved her sleep and how he would tease her to no end. "But spending my days and nights with you I never want to miss a thing. I love you Clay and on this day I promise you, you will always be better than my dreams and I will do everything I can to be the best wife to you.
Well I guess you're getting caught up on your sleep now, Clay thought bitterly as he watched himself give his vows to Sara.
Roy Croft said, "I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out. Sara you have changed my life for the better. Ever since I met you on the bridge that day my life has become complete. By jumping off the bridge with you I have experienced so many things I would have never done if it weren't for you. You have pushed me to be a better man and I know you will push me to be the best husband I can be. I love that you can bring out my goofiness and smiles even when I'm having a bad day. I can come home to you and everything is better. You're my angel and I will always love you.
Clay smiled as he watched the rest of their wedding. He was originally against taping the wedding afraid that he would mess up, but Sara had convinced him telling him they could watch it every year on their anniversary so they wouldn't forget their vows. Plus Clay really never could say no to her. Clay felt his body start to ache so he decided to lie on the bed and placed an arm behind his head, the other one gripping a picture of him and Sara as their wedding played before his eyes. Before he knew what was happening his eyes fell closed and he was out like a light as the movie played on.
""How is it that I have a son and no felt like they should share this information with me?""
""When Sara was taken from you-"" Dr. Alvarez started knowing that Clay was not going to like his response.
"When Sara fell in a coma," Clay said standing with his arms crossed against his chest.
The doctors eyes widened in response. "All right," he said. "When your wife fell into a coma," Dr. Alvarez started, ""in order to cope with the sudden loss your brain removed the one thing that reminded you the most of her. Logan. We tried Clay. We tried to tell you during your early sessions, but you or rather your brain wouldn't hear it. When Logan was brought up you would shut down. All progress would be lost." The doctor said trying to get Clay to see his point.
"So you just quit?" Clay asked his hand pointing at the doctor. First thing that morning he had made his way back to the clinic and now during the doctor's speech he had uncrossed his arms as he was getting frustrated.
""You quit Clay. You stopped coming to your sessions and just disappeared. So the state granted custody to Sara's parents."" Clay sat down hearing the news. At least he has his grandparent's, Clay thought. ""I decided we needed to wait for you to remember on you own. So if you wanna be angry, be angry with me. ""
""I don't wanna be angry. I…"" Clay gulped before admitting what he really wanted. ""I just need some guidance. I left him for four years…what do I do now?"" Clay asked brokenly.
""You should go talk to your son,"" Dr. Alvarez suggested. Clay nodded before looking away. He knew that's what he needed to do. It's what Sara would've wanted him to do. He just didn't know if he could do it.
Clay walked in the courtyard that was behind the clinic. Sitting by a bench his son was playing with one of his airplanes. How was he supposed to tell Logan he was his dad? How could Logan ever forgive him for forgetting him? Clay felt ashamed as he watched his little boy sitting on the bench and looking at a booklet. I have to do this Clay thought to himself. I have to get my family back together. Sara won't wake up until Logan is with us, his family. I want Logan. I miss my son. He was supposed to be my little wolverine. My comic buddy, my best friend. I will get my son back. I can't believe this little boy in front of me is my son. How could I have ever forgotten him? Okay I just have to walk over there and tell him hi….hopefully then everything else will come to me. Clay thought as he stared at the little blonde boy and walked over to him. "Help me Sara," Clay begged quietly before making his way to the bench where his son was sitting. Clay sat down next to his son and looked down to see he was reading a comic book.
""Hey gambit,"" Logan said looking up at Clay.
""Gambit huh?"" Clay asked trying to see the little boy as the same boy he had been talking to for a week and not his long lost son.
""Yeah. I'm wolverine and your gambit.""
"Nice," Clay said feeling a smile tugging on his lips as he smiled at his son.
"So where have you been?" Logan asked innocently his green eyes cutting into Clay and reminding him of Sara.
"I had something I had to take care of…and I needed to leave for a little bit, but I'm here now." Clay said evasively. ""So have you been eating well?"" Clay asked.
""Huh?"" Logan asked completely confused as to why he was being asked this question. Why did Clay want to know if he was eating okay?
""You know, like, lots of leafy greens?"" Clay asked looking down at him.
""Your weird,"" Logan answered simply. Clay sat with his hands clasped together and nodded his head. He didn't blame Logan, coming from a stranger that was a weird question.
""Who's this guy?"" Logan asked pointing to a figure in the comic book.
""Oh, that's dead pool,"" Clay answered glad to be on an easier question and not have to confront Logan that he was his son.
""Is he a good guy?"" Logan asked looking up.
""He's a hero for hire, so sometimes he's good, but sometimes he's bad. Big thing about this guy though is that he has healing powers like Wolverine. "" Clay told him pointing at the figure and smiling. This is what he wanted ever since he found out Sara was carrying their child to be able to talk about comic books and teach their child everything he learned about comic books. Such as that there were characters that weren't always black and white. ""And he's a bit of a smart ass,"" Clay said smiling as he looked at the book.
Logan's eyes got wide and his little mouth tightened in surprise. Clay looked at him still smiling, his smile falling when he noticed Logan's face. ""You just said a swear,"" Logan whispered shocked.
"Sorry," Clay answered mentally beating himself up for swearing in front of his son. "You shouldn't swear." He told him.
"I know," Logan answered as Clay nodded his head. If Sara's parents were raising Logan than of course he would know better than to not swear.
Clay wondered how to approach the subject and decided he would just ask Logan what he knew of Sara and him. ""Hey, Logan, has the doctor ever talked to you about your parents?"" Clay tried to keep his voice level and not too inquisitive. His son was very perceptive just like his mother.
""Sometimes,"" Logan answered.
""Did he ever tell you what happened to them?"" Clay asked wanting to know what his son knew about them and how much he would have to tell him.
"Yeah, my mom has been sleeping ever since I was a baby and they haven't been able to wake her up yet." Logan answered his little eyebrows furrowing as he repeated what the doctor had told him.
"What about your dad?" Clay asked holding his breath to see what his son would say.
"He got very sad when she wouldn't wake up and he had to go away." Logan answered sadly.
"I'm sorry," Clay told him a shot of pain going through his heart as Logan went back to reading his comic.
""its okay. I don't really care. Beside's Spider-Man lost both his parents too."" Logan said his eyes on his book that he didn't notice the sting of his words on his father's face. Logan looked up and Clay faked a half smile as the guilt inside was gnawing at him. His son didn't care that he didn't have parents because neither did Spider-Man.
"Do you want to play with your planes?" Clay asked needing a better distraction than just sitting there looking at the comic book.
"Sure!" Logan said closing the book. "I'll run and get them." Logan told him jumping off the bench and running to his room.
Clay sat there waiting for his son to return. How do I tell him after that? He asked himself. He rubbed his face with his hands wanting to break down but knowing he had to be strong. He had to tell Logan he was his son and why he left. He had to have his son with him.
"Come on Clay," Logan said running back to the courtyard and plopping a seat in the grass. Clay grabbed one of the planes and looked at it before making it fly around them.
"Let's crash it," Logan said getting up and running around. Clay laughed as he followed his son around the other plane flying safely in his hands.
The two played all afternoon and nowhere in that span of time did Clay feel it was the right time to tell his son that he was his father. What was he supposed to say, "hey Logan remember how you didn't care your parents were gone, well I'm your dad and I'm here for you now." Yeah, that wasn't going to fly with Logan and he knew it.
They were back in Logan's room and the little boy was so excited he crashed the plane. "We can fix it again," He told Clay motioning to the airplane.
"Sure." Clay said. "Do really not care what happened to your mom and dad?" Clay asked desperately needing to know.
""I don't know,"" Logan said confusion lacing his words.
""Do you ever think about your dad?"" Clay asked wondering if he ever thought of him.
""I guess sometimes I think about what he might be like,"" Logan answered looking at Clay.
"You do?" Clay asked needing to know what his son thought he might be like, wanting to know if he lived up to the image in Logan's head.
"Yeah." Logan answered.
""And what do you think?"" Clay asked trying to pry the answer out of Logan.
""Promise you won't laugh?" Logan asked his little green eyes boring into Clays.
""Promise."" Clay said his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped together waiting for Logan's answer.
""Well, I like to think that he's a superhero. Like in X-men out fighting bad guys, or he's a secret agent and he's got a flying car and a jetpack and stuff. "" Logan said and Clay smiled as he listened to all the different things Logan thought his dad might be. Those would be good reasons to not be with your son instead of just blocking him out of your mind, Clay thought to himself.
""Hmmm, would you settle for a regular agent? The non-secret kind?"" Clay asked looking down at the floor before facing Logan and bracing himself to tell Logan that's his dad.
Logan pursed his lips. ""I guess,"" he finally responded. "I just want him to come home so we're not sad anymore." Logan said and Clay felt his heart break for all the pain he put his son through.
"Remember how I told you that I wander around sometimes like I'm someone else?" Clay asked.
Logan nodded encouraging Clay to go on. ""Well, Dr. A was able to help me figure out why I was doing it.""
"Why?" Logan asked looking up at his new friend.
"Do you know the tale of Sleeping Beauty?" Clay asked trying to make it easier for the little boy to understand.
"Yeah. The princess pricks her finger and falls asleep until her prince comes and saves her." Logan answered and Clay nodded his head smiling.
"Well a couple of years ago something like that happened. My wife didn't prick her finger, but something else happened and she fell asleep and the doctors couldn't get her to wake up and so to this day she's still sleeping. But I felt like I lost her and because of that my brain made me forget things that reminded me of her so I would be less sad." Clay said hoping Logan would understand what he was saying. ""But now my brain wants me to remember."" Clay looked at Logan his heart thumping in his chest as he knew this was the moment. "The princess that's sleeping and won't wake up now Logan is your mom." Clay saw Logan's eyes boring into his and continued needing to say it out loud. ""Uh, I'm your father. And you're – you're my son. Uh, I know I don't, um, have a flying car or anything…but I'd really like to be a part of your life. And I'd really like if you could be a part of mine."" Clay watched his son process the words he had just spoken and waited in anticipation with what his son would say. Logan didn't answer him, the silence in the room felt suffocating. Clay waited with baited breath hoping his son would say something soon. The more time that passed the worse Clay felt that he had lost his son forever. ""Logan?"" Clay asked finally not being able to take the silence.
""No,"" Logan shouted walking out of the room and Clay felt the water well up in his eyes as his heart shattered again. His son hated him. He was never going to get to be the father that he dreamed of and it was his own fault. Needing to get out of the room where all his dreams seemed to crash Clay shakily stood up and walked out. Making his way to his car, he knew exactly where he had to go and looking at his watch saw it was only 7 pm. The drive seemed effortless this time and as he walked into the hospital he knew exactly where he was going so he didn't have to stop at the front desk and instead made his way to the elevator and waited for it before pressing the second floor button and being lifted to the floor. As the elevators dinged Clay barely let the doors open before he was out and a few seconds later he was walking into his wife's room.
"Hi angel," Clay said sitting next to Sara and taking her frail hand in his. "I told Logan he was my son….he didn't take it so well." Clay told her using his free hand to rub his face. "But don't worry I will have our family back together so when you wake up everything will be great. After all his first word was dada…that has to mean something right? I think he was just hurt that I forgot about him…I feel so guilty Sara and I don't know what to do….I don't know where to start with him and getting him to realize just how bad almost losing you hurt me and knowing now that I have a son who wants nothing to do with me is killing me. Do you think he will forgive me or have I lost him forever? Please Sara come back and help me. I'm begging you." Clay said bringing her hand to his face and kissing her palm. The machines beeped in the background filling the silence in the room.
Clay watched his beautiful wife sleeping peacefully wondering what would happen next with their son. "Sara I need you to tell me what to do here because I'm lost and only you can save me…you always saved me." he whispered.
"Sara send me a sign please angel I don't know what to do." Clay sighed deeply as he waited for a sign. Bringing her hand closer to his face he let his lips lightly brush against her knuckles. Slowly lowering her hand back to her side Clay about lept out of his seat when he felt her hand twitch. "Sara? Baby? Oh god Sara follow my voice baby. Come back to me. Come back to Logan. Come back to our family, Sara please. You got your hand to twitch so please open your beautiful green eyes. Please angel." Clay begged a smile fighting to grace his features at the knowledge his wife was sending him a sign that everything was going to be okay. That's it…he thought to himself. Sara was ready to come home he just needed to get Logan to the hospital to talk to Sara and she would come back. "I'll be back soon angel; I'm just going to go get our little boy." Clay told her leaning down and brushing a kiss on her cheek before he walked out the door determined that by this time tomorrow Sara would be awake and they would be a family again with their son.
As he drove to Sara's parent's house he rehearsed what he was going to say to them. He knew they would be protective of Logan; it was a part of Sara that they had left if she never woke up. The rain that had begun sprinkling when he left the hospital now fell down in sheets and he kept the wipers going so he could see. Sara always liked storms. He let his mind wander for a moment about the day they brought Logan home.
"Come inside angel," Clay told her as Sara stood on the porch overlooking the water.
Sara giggled before turning around her eyes gleaming in excitement. "It's going to storm." She told him knowingly.
Clay wrapped his arms around her waist, his chest pressed against her back. "And how do you figure that?" He teased. "The weatherman said it was supposed to be a beautiful day in the 80's.
Sarah huffed mockingly. "Really Clay, after all these years and you still don't believe me when I say it's going to storm?" Sara stated mock glaring over her shoulder at her husband.
"So you've been right a few times, but the weatherman said not today. Plus there's not a gray cloud in the sky," Clay told her looking up at the fluffy white clouds traveling in the blue sky.
"Close your eyes." Sara ordered as Clay willingly obliged. "Do you smell that?" Sara asked as Clay sniffed trying to figure out what exactly she was smelling.
"The ocean?" Clay asked.
"No the smell of rain." Sara said closing her eyes and smiling.
Clay chuckled as he watched his wife with her eyes close and her cute button nose up in the air smelling her pretend rain. Watching her he felt a plop on the top of his head and looked up at the sky. He could hardly believe his eyes as he watched the rain fall from the sky.
"Told you I was right." Sara said grinning like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland.
"I guess you were." Clay said smiling as he led her closer to the house so the rain wouldn't drench them.
"It's the perfect welcome home for Logan. His first storm. He's going to love storms as much as I do and he will be able to predict them too." She told him knowingly bouncing on her toes.
"If you think so." Clay said his ear still on alert for their son's cries. Not even a minute later he heard his son crying and Sara practically leaped from his arms to check on their son.
"Hey baby," Sara cooed picking up the blue bundle and nestling him against her as she looked down at the crying baby. "You want to see the rain don't you? Poor daddy still believes the weatherman but I think I finally convinced him mommy is always right when it's going to storm. I know that's why you woke up. You wanted to see the storm too. Huh?" Sara whispered as she led them to patio doors to watch the rain. Logan laid in his mother's arms and as soon as he saw the rain was quiet. His gaze unmoving from outside as Clay watched in amazement. A bolt of lightning raced against the sky as Sara giggled and Logan smiled at the sight. Even when the thunder followed the boy was still smiling. "I told you he's going to like storms." Sara whispered to Clay. Shaking his head Clay moved one of the chairs over by the doors and sat down before pulling his wife and son in his lap and watching the storm play on outside with the waves crashing the shore as the lightning crossed the sky and the rain soothed them all to sleep.
Clay let the smile that was trying to break onto his face out. He felt closer to Sara when it stormed. This was her sign, a sign that everything would be okay. Concentrating on the road he couldn't help but wish he was still in the hospital room with Sara instead of driving in this. The rain was starting to come down heavier now and he could barely see 2 feet in front of him. The stoplight in front of him suddenly turned red and he slammed on the break only to slide through the lights as the rain slicked his wheels and pulled him further. A set of lights shone on him and he jerked the steering wheel to the side before he felt his car crash into a tree trunk and his head hit the steering wheel before the airbag deployed knocking him unconscious.
Clay stood there looking around at the bright white walls squinting as he tried to orient himself and adjust his eyes to the harsh light. Closing his eyes to try and help himself see better he couldn't help but wonder where he was. How did I get here? Where am I? Clay wracked his brain trying to figure out what had just happened. Opening his eyes he was surprised at the change of scenery. The cerulean sky was dotted with huge puffy white clouds and the sun shone beautifully on him. He couldn't believe where he was. Clay was standing on the same bridge he met Sara all those years ago.
"Clay?" a soft melodic voice hesitatingly called out.
Turning around Clay felt his heart drop net seeing anyone around and feeling foolish that he thought he heard Sara's voice. Not wanting to miss her on the off chance she was there he decided to call out her name. "Sara?" he yelled out holding his breath as he waited anxiously for a response. Suddenly, out of nowhere he heard the pounding of someone's feet on the street as they ran towards him. Looking behind him he couldn't believe what he saw. Sara…his beautiful wife was running towards him. Her blonde hair trailed behind her and a huge smile was plastered on her face. A matching grin was on Clay's as he opened his arms and she lept into them. Clay grasped her tightly to him, not believing his luck at finally holding his wife. Spinning her around in a circle he finally felt as if his heart would explode with happiness as Sara giggled in delight.
"Hi," Sara finally said when Clay stopped spinning them.
"Hi," Clay replied his arms still tightly holding on to her.
Shaking her head at Clay, Sara looped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips again his. Clay finally felt as if he was home. Needing more Clay ran his tongue across the seam of her lips silently asking for permission to deepen the kiss. Sara happily obliged as their mouths remembered each other's.
Pulling away Clay kept her tight in his arms not really believing that she was here with him awake and he could hold her. "What are you doing here?" He finally was able to get out as he looked in her eyes sparkling with happiness.
"I've been here for a while. I missed you," She told him running a hand through his hair.
Looking confused Clay stared at her, "I've missed you too but Sara where are we? What do you mean you've been here a while?" He questioned needing to know what was going on. Part of him didn't care where they were since she was with him, but the other part needed to know.
"I'm not sure. The last thing I remember is dancing with you and then I was here. It's so quiet. Clay you are the first person I have seen in I don't know how long. I almost wonder if I am just imagining you or if you are truly here." Sara told him her voice laced with sadness and hope.
Looking around Clay shrugged. "I'm definitely here but where here is exactly I don't know." he looked back down at Sara, "You don't know how very much I've missed you."
"I've miss you so much too! Where's Logan? If you're here where's our son?" Sara asked a look of panic gracing her features as her eyes darted around trying to find their son.
"He's fine. He's with your parents right now." Clay told her watching the panic melt off her face as the guilt gnawing in his stomach became worse than ever before for not raising their son and being a part of his life until only a few days ago.
"I can't believe he will almost be a year old soon." Sara said as she sat down, her legs swinging off the side of the bridge. Her tone was light as she smiled looking out at the water.
Clay felt his heart break as he watched his wife sitting there not knowing their son was almost 6 and losing so much of his childhood with her. "Sara," Clay said sitting down his voice low as he watched the confusion show on her face. The way he was speaking to her now he only used when he had bad news.
"What's going on Clay?" Sara asked bracing herself for the worse as she searched her husband's features trying to figure out what bomb he was going to drop on her.
Grabbing her hand and lacing his fingers Clay took a deep breath before breaking the news. "Sara, Logan's 5 now almost 6."
"What do you mean?" Sara asked her voice low as tears started to pool in her eyes. The disbelief in her tone made Clay not want to tell her anymore.
"About 4 years ago, you and I were dancing to your favorite song and you went to get some of your favorite grape juice and something happened and you had an aneurysm. I tried to make it to you in time before you fell, but you hit the ground. The moment you fell I felt like my heart was breaking. I don't even remember calling 911 and until recently I thought you were dead." Clay told her as Sara looked at him a horrified look on her face. He hated showing weakness to her but the tears stung his eyes threatening to fall.
Taking a deep breath and squeezing Clay's hand Sara let herself ask the two most important questions she had. "Am I dead and how's Logan?" Sara asked the tears that had been threatening to fall finally running their course.
"No you're in a coma or well you have been. I don't know. I was on my way to see Logan and then next thing I know I'm here with you." Clay said a small smile showing on his face.
"What about Logan, Clay?" Sara asked needing to know her little boy was okay. That even though he didn't have a mother he was still thriving and growing and having as normal of a childhood as he could.
Clay looked at her and she felt her heart drop by the sadness that was shining through his eyes. "He's amazing." He told her honestly, his voice hoarse as he tried to find the words to tell her the truth.
"What aren't you telling me?" Sara asked taking her hand from his and standing up crossing her arms against her chest as she stared down at him. Clay stood up and looked at Sara trying to memorize everything about her before she exploded like he knew she would.
Running a hand through his hair he let the words fly out. "I thought you were dead Sara. For the past 4 years I thought you were dead and that crushed me. I forgot we had a son. Okay is that what you want to hear. I forgot we had a son so your parents raised him and up until a few days ago I hadn't seen him since you had your incident." Clay yelled feeling all the pent up frustration and aggression fly from his body and into the impact of the words.
Sara felt the air whoosh out of her lungs it was like her whole world turned upside down. "So our son grew up with no parents. I can't believe you Clay. You knew how much our son meant to us and you forgot him. What's to say you didn't forget about me your wife when some pretty girl smiled at you? I just…I don't know what to say… I need to get some air," Sara told him walking away.
"Sara," Clay tried speaking but he knew it wouldn't do any good. Clay felt his heart break and debated going after her, but he knew she needed time to cool down. At the same point he didn't want to lose her again so he followed her onto the beach and kept his distance as long as he could see her.
Sara sat in the sand overlooking the water. She had been alone for so long and while she was happy Clay was with her now the fact that he had forgotten their son made the moment bittersweet. Clay watched Sara playing with the hem of her white dress and he felt the guilt rise up in him once again. Not only had he forgotten his son and was just now trying to make things right, but he had broken his wedding vows. Thinking of Sara as gone he had tried to find solace in another woman's arms. True it had never truly worked, but he was unsure whether Sara could forgive him for all his indiscretions.
Needing to break the thoughts in his head and the silence he whispered, "I'm sorry" as he stood behind her.
She sighed as she internally debated on what to do. Sara heard the sorrow in his voice and looked at him before patting the sand next to her. She had missed him so terribly bad and now he was here and they were fighting. They had rarely fought before and while she was still beyond pissed off at him she decided to give him a chance to explain.
"I love you Sara, and I love our son. I will never forget that, but…" Clay trailed off trying to find the right words to say to really express everything he was trying to say. "When I lost you I thought you were dead and it's like I died with you. The only thing I could focus on was that I lost you. I had lost my second half." Clay said pulling Sara's hand off her lap and holding it. He couldn't help but rejoice that she hadn't pulled it away.
"Continue," Sara spoke softly needing to know how her son…no their son was raised by her parents instead of her husband. She felt the tears well in her green eyes and tried to push them back as she listened to Clay.
"I moved to Tree Hill, North Carolina, needing to get away from Charlotte and our old friends and lives. Only I didn't want to move to far away because something inside me told me I needed to stay close to you, which I now understand better because that's where the hospital that you are or were in?" Clay told her confusion showing in his eyes as he tried to remember. "Anyways I'm a sports agent, the kind you would be proud of," he said a half smile on his face as he saw her look at him. "Anyways I guess the most important thing is that our son is amazing and I am now finally getting to know him. I was having these problems sleep walking. I would wake up at like the park, or in front of a zoo, you know places where you would take kids and not know how I got there. My friend Nathan, well friend and partner since we started our own sporting agency took me to this place for help. Anyways it turns out our son was there."
Sara looked up the fear back in her eyes as she pulled her hand away. "Why was our son there Clay?" She asked needing to know nothing had happened to her parents and her little boy wasn't being raised in an institute.
"He's okay, he was just getting therapy. I can explain more later just let me finish my story first okay please." Clay asked before he lost his nerve and Sara refused to talk to him. "So I went to Bowden and saw Doctor Alvarez. I talked to him quite a bit and then I got upset and I left. As I was walking down the hall I saw Logan in his room playing and it's like the cloudy image finally dissolved and the little baby who was playing in his crib was now a 5 year old boy and everything just flew back. I missed so much of his life Sara and I will never get that back. I don't even have a good excuse just that I blocked out our son after I lost you. I know you will never forget, but please forgive me Sara and I promise I will be a better father. Before whatever brought me here I was trying. I'm trying to make us a family again. I need that. In our vows I said you make me a better man, but you also made me a better dad and I need you in our life, our son needs us to wake up." Clay told her grasping her hand and interlacing their fingers.
Sara stared at Clay processing everything he told her. In her heart she knew had she lost Clay she wouldn't have known how to survive. "Promise me one thing and I will forgive you," Sara told him her green eyes pleading with him to agree.
"Anything," Clay responded in less than a heartbeat.
"If something does happen and I don't wake up, I need you to raise our son. I need you to be a big part of his life. Our son only has one dad and that's you." Sara told him.
"I promise." Clay said feeling his heart practically soar in his chest at the weight that had been lifted off.
Sara smiled then at Clay and he smiled back before pulling her in for a hug. Sara wasn't expecting it and practically fell in his lap the tears she had been holding back flowing out as she thought about everything her husband and son went through because of her. "I love you Sara. I will always love you," Clay told her before leaning down and kissing her. Needing to know she truly forgave him and that she really was there with him.
Pulling away Sara looked at Clay before repeating those three little words. The boyish grin she always loved about him finally coming out again after such a long time.
"You know what we should do?" Sara asked looking at Clay a mischievous gleam in her eye.
"What's that?" Clay asked thinking dirty thoughts.
"Jump off that bridge like old times. Last one there's a rotten egg," Sara laughed before taking off and running through the sand for the bridge.
Clay jumped to his feet and chased her before picking her up and playfully dropping her behind him in the sand and running. Sara quickly got up and pursued him jumping on his back laughing as he fell on his face in the sand. Maneuvering around he made it so his back was to the sand and he held her in his arms smiling as her blonde locks floated in the breeze. Sara wiggled trying to get out of his grasp and he couldn't help but be happy playing around with his wife. Sara finally managed to twist her way out of his hold and took off running once again. Knowing there was no one he was going to win if he didn't do something he took off again catching up with Sara only this time he threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and walked them to the middle of the bridge. "I guess we both win." He told her a cheeky grin on his face.
"I guess so," She responded as she climbed to the outer part. She kept her body flush against the railing as she watched Clay do the same thing.
""How about we do this together,"" Clay said holding out his hand to her.
"Just like last time." Sara responded grasping his hand and smiling.
""On the count of two."" Clay said taking a deep breath. Even after doing this every year on the anniversary that they had met Clay could still feel the nerves and adrenaline coursing through his body.
"Something to tell our grandchildren huh?" Sara teased.
"Yes." Clay said. "Ready. You okay angel?" Clay asked as he swung their arms back getting ready for the jump before bringing them back. "1…2" Clay yelled as the duo jumped Sara her infectious laugh bringing a smile to his face.
Clay waited to feel the icy water rush over him, but instead he felt like he was drowning. He couldn't move his arms to help propel himself forward. He couldn't hear Sara laughing anymore or feel her hand in his. Forcing his eyes opened he expected to see the deep blue water, instead his lids felt heavy and it took extra pressure to open them. When he did open his eyes he was surprised to see Logan was crawled into the bed with him. His little hand grasping at the sheet, while the other had a stuffed airplane Clay remembered picking out when Sara was pregnant. The little boy had made a nook for himself with Clay's right arm being the barrier before the floor. Looking down at why he couldn't move his left arm he noticed it was in a cast. Memories of the car accident and Sara flashed through his mind and he felt a tear slip down knowing that was the last time he was going to see his wife alive and happy until she decided to wake up. Lil was in the room and when she saw his eyes open rushed from the chair by his bed to make sure he was okay. His throat felt like he had swallowed the salt water that had been so vivid in his dream and tried to speak.
"Hi," he croaked out to his mother in law.
"Oh let me pour you some water dear," Sara's mom told him grabbing the pitcher off a little table and pouring the water into a glass that had been sitting next to it. Inserting a straw she had found in one of the drawers she placed it between his lips. Moving his chapped lips he sucked on the straw. The cool water was a welcome to his throat and when he felt as if he had enough he opened his lips and Lil took the cup away.
"Thank you." Clay told her sincerely. He had a lot to thank this woman for.
"You're welcome," Lil responded fixing the covers on his bed. Noticing Clay look at his son and then her she answered his unasked question. "When we heard you were in an accident Logan insisted we come to see you right away. He just walked right into the room, saw you and curled right to your side. He fell asleep about 15 minutes ago.
"What happened?" Clay asked.
"You were in an accident. The rain made the roads slick and you blew through a red stop light and swerved to miss a car instead hitting a tree. No one else was injured. You had a broken arm and you had a concussion. They had to take you to surgery to remove your spleen so the anesthetic wore off and you woke up. You are hooked up to machines to give you pain medicine and to monitor your body.
"I'm going to be okay though?" Clay asked.
"I think you're going to be just fine." Lil told him smiling sweetly at him.
"I…"Clay had just gotten the one word out of his mouth when Sam barreled in a surprise look upon his face.
"Sara," he breathed looking at his wife in amazement.
"What about Sara?" Lil asked leaving Clay's side and grasping her husband's hands in hers staring into his eyes. She just woke up. The doctors are in their running tests right now, but she's awake. Our little girl is awake angel." Sam told her tears running down his face like Lil's and Clay's face.
"When can we see her?" Clay asked the desperation in his voice to make sure Sam was telling the truth.
Sam looked over in shock at seeing Clay awake. "You're awake too?" He asked puzzled.
"Yeah. When can we see Sara?" Clay repeated yearning to see his wife in this world. The real world.
"The doctors have to run some tests but after that they should allow family to see her. "
"Does she remember?" Clay asked the fear and hope intermixed in his eyes.
"I don't know, I had to call the doctors right away," Sam told him honestly. "Your parents are on their way though."
"You brought Logan?" Clay stated gesturing at the young boy.
"He wanted his father." Sam answered simply. Grabbing his wife's hand the two in-laws stepped closer to the bed. Lil sat down and Sam placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for him. I was on my way to your house tonight to fight for him. I want my son back. I will never forgive myself for forgetting him, but I will fight like hell for him to know he is loved and I will never give him up again. Sam you raised a beautiful, smart and amazing daughter, but now it's my turn to raise my son. Even without Sara I should have been man enough to raise him. I will always be incredibly indebted to you and Lil for all that you have done for Logan. I had to prove myself to you that I was good enough for your daughter and if I have to I will prove that I can be a great father. I promise you that you will see him all the time, but when I get out of here I want to take him home with me." Clay held his breath and Sam scrutinized his every word. He looked to his wife the two having a conversation with their eyes without saying a word.
"Okay." Lil said finally after what seemed like forever, but was in actuality only a minute. "But…."
Clay held his breath waiting for the shoe to drop. "But?" He asked.
"We get Friday night sleepovers and you and Sara come over once a night to visit. You two will need a date night and we love spending time with all three of you.
Clay smiled a huge grin before nodding. "Yes." He agreed without hesitation.
The little blonde boy started rustling in the bed before opening his eyes. Clay watched as his son woke up opening his eyes and then wiping the sleep from them as he looked around the room.
"Clay? What happened?" Logan asked.
"We'll give you a moment." Sam said helping his wife out of the chair and walking out of the room together.
"Thanks." Clay told their retreating backs.
"Logan, if you're comfortable you can call me dad. I was in an accident. I was coming to see you. I don't know if you're ready, but I want you to come home with me when I leave the hospital.
"I don't know," The little boy replied unsurely.
"Take all the time that you need, but I will be here for you from now on." Clay told the little boy.
"But what if you run away again?" Logan asked innocently.
Clay's heart broke at the son of his son's voice. ""I wasn't running away before. I was trying to get to you. I promise I will always be here for you. I pinky promise." Clay said sticking out his pinkie for the boy to grab with his own.
"Okay." Logan answered satisfied with his father's answer. "Can you tell me more about my mom?" Logan asked harmlessly.
Clay smiled, "Yeah." He answered rearranging his body so he could see Logan better and he wasn't in any pain. "Your mom and I went to the same college and there was this initiation thing where you were supposed to jump off this bridge."
"What's initi- whatever?" Logan asked furrowing his little eyebrows together.
"It's initiation," Clay repeated. "It means so you can get to know more of your classmates."
"Oh. What college did you go to that made you do that?" Logan asked.
"We went to UNC. Anyways, the first time I saw your mom she was wearing these little cut off blue jean shorts, a pale pink tank top and her hair was down and curly. She was standing with her back against the bridge and all I could think about was that she looked like an angel about to fall. So I climbed over and I could see she was just as nervous as me. We made some small talk and I held her hand and it was like I had my very own angel with me." Clay told him a smile on his face as he remembered the memory. "Anyways I told her we would jump on the count of two."
"But nobody jumps on the count of two." Logan interrupted making Clay laugh at how alike the two were without Logan ever really being around his mom.
"You know your mom told me the same thing." Clay told Logan feeling his heart lighted at the smile that graced the young boys face.
"What did she say then?" Logan asked curiously.
"Ah, I told her it would be something to tell our grandchildren about and on the count of two we jumped. It was a rush I had never felt before. Your mom held my hand all the way down until we hit the water. Once we hit the water and came up your mom swam over to me and kissed me. She told me that this could be something we would tell the grandchildren about too." Clay said remember all the hopes and dreams he had for Sara and him. So every year on our anniversary we would jump from that very same bridge.
"Really?" Logan asked his little eyes wide with surprise.
"Yep." Clay answered feeling better that he could share such important moments of his life with his son.
"When I get older can I jump off a bridge?" Logan asked inquisitively.
"Well if your mom is still around then and she says' okay and you don't tell your grandpa than yeah." Clay said conspiring with his son.
"Awesome," Logan responded a grin on his face.
"What else do you want to know?" Clay asked his son.
"Hmmm…." Logan said tapping his finger on his chin his little mind trying to think of all the different questions he could come up with. "How did…"
Before Logan could ask the question a nurse where a white scrub shirt and navy blue pants walked in with a chart in her hands. "I heard you finally woke up. I'm Julie. How are you feeling?" She asked walking up to the bed.
"I'm doing okay thanks." Clay told her as she checked his machines. Her short brown hair was spiked with blonde highlights and her round rosy face made her approachable. She was in her mid-forties if Clay had to guess and he felt as if she would be the type of nurse not to fear.
"Okay sweetie I need you move so I can check his blood pressure," Julie told Logan as he reluctantly moved. "Here you can stand here and watch." She told him which seemed to make him feel better about having to leave Clay's side.
Clay felt better knowing that his son didn't really want to leave his side. "How's my wife doing?" Clay asked Julie.
"Your wife's here?" Julie asked.
"Yeah she was in a coma and my father-in-law said she just woke up a few minutes after me." Clay told her.
"Well I will see what I can find out after I run all the tests I need to on you." Julie replied taking down notes on her chart.
"Thanks." Clay responded giving her a smile.
After a few more things Julie left the two boys to their own devices.
"What's my mom like?" Logan asked wrinkling his nose as he asked the question making Clay chuckle.
"Your mom's my angel." Clay answered simply before laughing at the look of disbelief on his's sons face.
"That's all I get?" He asked indignantly.
"No…" Clay said smiling at the perfect blend of his parents this little boy. Sara would've reacted the same way. "Your mom was the most perfect woman for me. She's funny, no matter what's going on in your life she can always make you smile, she cares about other people's goodness. You know there was this one time I wanted to sign this really awesome player, but he wasn't a good guy and you know what your mom said. ""You'll find players that you can believe in. clients that become friends. You'll find someone who has integrity and character and heart. And that will change everything for you. And that's the man I fell in love with."" She told me smiling and in my heart I knew she was right.
"She did?" Logan asked cocking his head to the side and looking at Clay.
"Yep she did and that's how I ended up meeting my best friend Nathan. He has a son that's a few years older than you, but I think you two are going to end up being really good friends." Clay told him. "Anyways about your mom she's just a great person and she's awake now so pretty soon you'll get to meet her and not just here stories about her from your grandparent's and me." Clay said knowing somewhere in his gut that when Sara saw Logan she would remember everything about their little family and instantly they would all be okay.
The two boys sat and talked about everything, from Clay's childhood to Logan's and even what Clay did for a living and how he had ended up in Tree Hill after everything. It had been about 4 hours since Sam came in with the news that Sara was awake and about 3 and a half hours since Julie had been back to tell the boys they were running tests on Sara, but she would let them know when she would be back in her own room and what room number she would be placed in. Logan was in the middle of explaining where his love for Wolverine had come from when Julie walked back through the door a smile gracing her features.
"How are my 2 favorite guys?" She asked checking on Clay's machines before ruffling Logan's hair.
"Good. How's Sara?" Clay asked feeling grateful when his son grabbed his hand for moral support. "She's good, but tired. She will be in room 2190 in a few minutes and as much as I know you two want to see her tonight, but she needs her sleep so I am asking you to please let her have one night alone and I will take her to see her tomorrow." Julie stated as Clay nodded a plan hatching in his head of how he was going to escape.
"Why don't you just put her in the same room with me?" Clay asked cracking a half smile as he looked at Julie.
"Well she still needs a lot of rest and although she remembers some stuff her memory is still a little fuzzy and she feels bad for being gone for so long." Julie told him. "Now I expect you both to be on your best behavior and I will check on you again later." She told him sternly before leaving.
As soon as Julie left the room the two boys shared a look. "Are we going to go see mom now?" Logan asked smiling a huge smile as Clay nodded.
"Yeah but we have to be quiet." Clay told him feeling the binds across his heart tighten that Logan could so easily call Sara mom, but had yet to say dad. After all, dada had been his first word. "Can you grab me those pajama bottoms over there?" Clay asked motioning to a pair of pants that had been lying on the chair. Lil had brought them for him earlier to wear around the hospital since the doctor's wanted him to spend a couple of nights after getting a concussion and having surgery. Logan obliged and handed his father his pants as Clay carefully sat on the edge of the bed. The world seemed to move and it took a second for Clay to get his bearings. Once he had though he slowly pulled the bottoms on under his gown and stood up. Feeling the solid ground beneath him Clay struggled. Logan being the clever boy he was quickly pushed the wheelchair that was pushed to the side of the wall and let his dad sit down. "Can I push you?" Logan asked.
"Are you strong enough?" Clay asked looking at the little boy.
"Yep." Logan said using all his little muscles to try and push the wheelchair and barely moving an inch.
"How about I try and walk," Clay told his son standing up this time feeling better on his feet than before. Bringing his finger to his lips in a gesture to be quiet Clay looked down both ways of the hallway before motioning the little boy to follow. The two crept slowly down the hall as Clay grabbed the wall to keep his balance as they made it to Sara's room. They only had to quickly slide into an empty room once in order to avoid a nurse.
"That's your mom." Clay told Logan the emotion in his voice evident to his son.
"Will you come with me to see her?" Logan asked his scared little voice whispered in the silence of the room except for the beating of the machine monitoring her heart.
"Yeah." Clay said grabbing his son's hand and walking to the bed. "Hey angel." Clay whispered brushing a kiss on Sara's cheek.
Sara's eye fluttered open a look of confusion showing on her face at seeing the small boy who had climbed on her bed staring down at her. Looking at Clay smiling down at her Sara felt a smile find its way to her face as she saw him. "Clay?" She whispered not quite believing her eyes.
"This is our little boy Logan. " Clay said pointing to the little boy.
"Logan?" Sara asked in amazement cupping the little boy's face with her palm before running her fingers through his hair. "But he's so big." Sara stated the tears starting to well in her eyes.
"I know. We missed a lot, but Sara here's our chance to be a family again." Clay said clasping the hand that was not on their son. "And I promise you everything is going to be okay." He stated boring his eyes into her green ones and willing her to believe him.
"Mom! Dad! Wake up it's Christmas!" Logan yelled jumping on their bed and trying to shake them awake. Clay looked at his son through bleary eyes as Logan began shaking Sara awake.
"What time is it?" Sara mumbled her voice laced with sleep.
Clay looked at the clock behind him the red lights showing it was 5:45 am. "You don't want to know." He answered her.
"It's Christmas." Logan yelled again jumping on the bed in his Christmas pajamas that Santa had left last night for him to wear. It had been a tradition Sara's parents had done with her and the duo decided to continue for their family. Sara had gotten a pair of snowman lounge pants with a matching long sleeved shirt, Clay and Logan had received black fleece pants with red and green Christmas trees on them. Clay grabbed Sara's hand under the covers and interlaced their fingers grinning at her sleepy smile.
"Good morning angel." Clay told her brushing his lips against hers in a chaste kiss.
"Morning." Sara told as Logan groaned.
"Gross," he told his parents making a face. Sara's laugh melted Clay's heart to goo. He couldn't believe his luck at having his family back after so much had happened.
"Come on mom. Come on dad I wanna see what Santa brought." Logan whined pulling the blanket off his parents. Clay was glad they had redressed after their activities the previous night.
"First we have to eat breakfast." Sara said sitting up in the bed and stretching. All Clay wanted to do was kick their son out of their room and make love to his wife. Sara looked over at him and arched an eyebrow in his direction. Clay smiled cheekily at her and she bit her lip before shaking her head. Clay groaned to himself before sitting up also.
Logan crossed his arms and pouted. "But mom I want to see what I got." He whined giving her the same puppy dog eyes she normally gave to Clay.
"Ah okay." Sara said looking at Clay the laughter evident in her eyes.
Logan took off like a missile for the living room as the two got up from the bed. Near the door Clay grabbed Sara's hand and held her back listening for his son's footsteps to fade. "Are you sure we can't stay in bed for just a little bit longer?" Clay whispered in her ear his hands roaming over her body.
"You are an evil, evil man." Sara told him stepping out of his embrace and fixing her shirt before playfully glaring at him. "Last one to the tree's a rotten egg." She called out before running out of the room Clay hot on her heels.
"That's not fair." He called out indignantly as he chased after her.
Clay about ran into her as she stopped at the entrance to the living room abruptly. "Why'd you stop?" Clay asked the laughter still tingeing his voice. "Sara?" He asked looking into her face and seeing tears falling from her eyes. "Are you okay angel?" He asked cupping her face and making her look at him.
"I've just…missed so much." She told him through watery sobs as she watched Logan shaking the presents under the tree with his name written on them. Clay looked at the scene in front of him and felt his heart break again.
"We both have." He told her taking her hand and leading her to the couch. "But you know what?"
"What?" She asked not once taking her eyes off her little boy.
"It's only made our family that much stronger. No matter what you and I are never going to leave that little boy again okay." Clay told her sternly pointing at said boy and making her eyes lock up on his. Slowly he raised the hand that wasn't holding hers and gently wiped a tear that was trailing down her cheek. "I love you Sara and I promise you we have so many other firsts to come, like when he has his first girlfriend, or his first car, and at least we didn't miss his golden birthday," Clay said seeing a small smile grace her features at his attempt to lighten the situation.
"Yeah." Sara conceded as she watched him open his presents.
"Look mom a LEGO Marvel Super Heroes Wolverine's Chopper!" Logan cried out ecstatically as he ran to his parents and showed them.
"That's awesome sport," Clay told his son the pride in his eyes evident as his son explained why this was the best present ever. Clay knew why, it brought two of the things Logan loved together; wolverine and planes.
"Why don't you see what else you got?" Sara said ruffling the sandy blonde hair before getting up.
"Where you going?" The two boys asked in unison.
"There's just one thing that's missing." Sara said practically dancing out of the room as the two boys looked at each other.
"What do you think she's getting?" Logan asked Clay his little brows furrowed in concentration as to what his mom could be getting.
"Grape Kool-Aid or hot chocolate?" Clay guessed not sure which one she would choose.
"Hmm grape Kool-Aid," Logan stated. "It's her favorite like mine."
Clay listened as Sara walked around the kitchen and decided to put some Christmas music on. Pulling out an old record he let the music play as the scratch and pops of the vinyl record intermixed with Frank Sinatra singing White Christmas.
Sara smiled as she came out with three mugs, handing a blue one to Clay and a green one to Logan each containing hot chocolate with a candy cane in it.
"Thanks mom." Logan said making Sara beam at him as she drank her grape kool-aid.
"Go finish opening your presents or are you tired of unwrapping presents since we went to Nathan and Haley's last night and did Christmas with them?" Sara asked raising an eyebrow at her son.
"Nu uh," Logan said dashing for the tree that still held a bunch of packages under it. Clay chuckled as he wrapped an arm around Sara and the two laid back on the couch watching the sandy blonde boy practically rip off the paper on his presents. The song changed to Baby, it's cold outside and Sara sighed as the melody wavered in the room.
"Would you care to dance?" Clay asked as Sara eagerly nodded before helping her off the couch and leading her to the middle of the living room and gently swaying with her.
"You know I could do this forever," Clay whispered in her ear as he held her close almost afraid to let her go.
"Me too." Sara told him cupping his cheek before pressing her lips against him as Logan said "gross."
Clay chuckled at his sons antics. He couldn't believe after everything that had happened she had come back to him.
"What do you say about having more kids?" Sara asked quietly as they moved with the music.
"Are you pregnant?" Clay asked drawing his eyebrows together as he scrutinized his wife.
"We're pregnant." Sara softly told him matching his grin with her own. After everything they had been through and all they had lost this new baby was a way to experience even more firsts than they thought they ever would.
"I love you Sara Kay Evans." Clay whispered swinging her around as she giggled.
"I love you too Clay Evans." Sara told him back the spark in her eyes that had made him want to talk to her the very first time on the bridge hadn't left since she had woken up. "Should we tell Logan now?" Sara asked suddenly nervous of their son's reaction. After all he wouldn't have his parent's undivided attention anymore.
"Yes." Clay agreed before calling the little boy over to them.
"What dad?" Logan asked his big eyes so much like his mother's staring up at him. Clay felt his heart swell as Logan addressed him dad. It had been a big step for the duo and he couldn't be happier.
"Me and your mom have some news buddy." Clay said crouching down to his son's level before looking up at Sara.
"What?" Logan asked looking between his parents.
"You're going to be a big brother." Sara told him reaching for his hand and putting it on her still flat tummy.
Logan's eyes got wide and he searched his parents faces. "That's so cool! I'm gonna be like Jamie only I want a brother okay?" Logan asked his parents.
"Well we don't know what we'll have, but that means you and me are going to have to take extra care of mommy okay?" Clay said addressing the young boy who vigorously nodded his head.
"Mommy you need to go sit down and rest." Logan told his mother sternly directing her to the couch and prompting her to sit down. "I can't believe Santa really got me a little brother for Christmas," Logan said to himself.
"Now hunny we don't know if it will be a boy or a girl." Sara gently reminded him although she glowed with excitement that Logan was taking the news so well.
"It's going to be a boy I just know it!" Logan said. Sara and Clay chuckled at the adamant tone in his voice. "Can I tell Grandma and Grandpa when they get here?" Logan asked his eyes practically begging theirs to tell the secret to his grandparents.
"Yeah." Sara said intertwining her hands with her husbands. Clay looked at Sara and Logan and couldn't help the smile from forming on his face. Here was his family and even though he had missed most of his son's firsts, he was now getting to know his son again and Sara was gracing him with another child. He knew no matter what happened he would always be thankful of the little miracles that brought him Sara and Logan back together and of the little miracle that was growing inside of Sara now.
Wow! This is the longest story I've written in a long time and it couldn't of happened without Heather helping me and encouraging me the whole way and Brittany (Happy birthday) telling me I needed to write a new One Tree Hill story and giving me free rein on the couples. I did not watch a lot of season 7, 8, or 9 so if Clay was a little OOC i'm sorry I tried to stay true to his character the best I could with what little I've seen. I watched the episodes of Sara and Clay and fell completely in love with them. Their chemistry, relationship and story line was just amazing. I was so sad she had died and so the story kind of came thinking what if she wasn't dead, but had fallen in a coma and Clay thought she had been dead. Logan is adorable and so I had to have him in the story too. I hope you all enjoyed this and hopefully now that I am writing again I will be inspired to write more stories. Thank you to everyone who reviewed.