Title: Queen of the Dwarves
: "I think congratulations are in order!"
Author's note:
Uhhhh... Set in the second movie? IDK.
Here you go, neglecterino.
I made up dwarf lore. Sorry.

"I think congratulations are in order!" Kili exclaims, hand nudging Bilbo's shoulder so hard he stumbles for a moment into Fili on his left. He straightens himself in time to see the dwarf look sheepish at both of them, though it's quickly washed away by a broad, excited smile that seem to be on the tad "too-much" side of things.
At least in Bilbo's opinion.

"I'm sorry? ...Congratulations?"

The band of dwarves is moving slowly though the forest, most of them in the front with Gandalf and Thorin leading the way. Balin, closest to Bilbo, Fili and Kili looks over his shoulder at the questions with a resigned sigh that means he knows exactly what Kili is talking about.

Bilbo glances at Fili to catch an eye-roll before being nudged back into the moment by Kili and a loud, wide laugh.

"No need to be so modes! Our hobbit, queen of the dwarves!"

Bilbo blinks.

"Queen?" Fili shoots in, a questioning tone to his voice. "I'd think he'd be king?"

"King? Thorin's king."

"Well- consort then?"

The dwarves stare at each other and Bilbo has the dizzying feeling that he's missed something. Something very important. Something very important that he should have been informed about. In writing. Preferably on a Sunday.

"Wait-wait...hold it!"

Bilbo's voice seems to cut though whatever silent discussion the two dwarves are having and they simultaneously look at him.

"Queen- I mean, consort, of the dwarves?"

"See?" Fili says, "Consort has a much better ring to it and it won't be confusin' when it's announced to the people."

Kili throws a hand over Bilbo's shoulder, the weight making him slump.

"And what an announcement it'll be! ...Of daring!"

"Of strength!" Fili chimes in.

"Of love!" Kili ends and grasps Bilbo's shoulder in a reassuring and firm grip.

Bilbo has a sinking feeling about this. And it's not because he hasn't had his second breakfast this morning.

"Dwarves will be inspired by your courage, hobbit! I have never seen a dwarf offer his hand in marriage so valiantly as you-"

"-charging in to battle, when death is near to protect when you could have fled. That's what the olden dwarf customs used to be all about!"

"Not like now- gold, diamonds and rings, pah!"

"No, forged in blood and the promise of protection!"

They're smiling at him like he is the most precious stone a dwarf could have discovered in the mountain rock. Bilbo has a nagging feeling he's seen the look before, but it blends and disappears into the sudden horror of realization that he's accidentally, through jumping in and fighting off orcs, proposed to prince Thorin.
-And, the feeling drops to the pit of his stomach, by the state of things, prince Thorin must have accepted.

The memory of the mountain rock in the great heights of the sky and Thorin's eyes on him before pulling him into an embrace has the power to knock the breath out of him. Bilbo staggers and it's only luck that the group is slowly stopping ahead.

In the patches of sunlight that breaks though the trees, he sees Thorin ahead, speaking calmly with Gandalf over the small map. Thorin's eyes find him and there is a small, warm smile on his face that has Bilbo's heart picking up the pace and blood rushing through his body.

"O-oh," Bilbo says in a breath that seems to be his last, before hitting the ground like a sack of potatoes.