So, this chapter is a sort of introduction to my first South Park fanfiction. I hope there are no weird spelling mistakes in it. I'm not a native, so please forgive me.
This is a story about denial, stress, attraction and maybe, ultimately: love.
Hope you enjoy!


I was pissed, well of course that was my natural state of being, but right now I was more stressed than usual. And that was saying a lot.
I had just had a period of math at which we had had an incredibly difficult test. And all I could think of was relaxing a bit by listening to some music on my I-Pod. Only to find that the damn thing had somehow vanished from my locker. Cursing loudly I started digging through my back pack, maybe it had ended up in there. How on earth was I going to listen to my German music now? People usually thought that I listened to Rammstein. Okay, I did. But today I was way more in the mood for some of the weirder German songs, one particular melody caught in my head all day. But no such luck: nowhere in my back pack nor in my locker was my I-Pod to be found. There was only one other explanation. And what do you know, he was walking right up to me, no doubt to his own locker which was close to mine.

"What the hell did you do to my I-Pod, you stinky Jew?!" I shouted, easily lifting and slamming the Jew against the lockers next to mine. Wide, angry brown eyes looked back at me. Everyone expected him to have green eyes, but he wasn't a proper ginger, just a daywalker. They were lighter than my own, somehow they seemed a bit orange, just like his hair. I still made fun of his hair on a daily basis. Well, it was some sort of public service, he needed to be reminded that he had weird hair: explosive and ginger.

"What are you talking about, fat ass?" he snapped back at me, struggling against my grip. He was weak as fuck.

"I know you took my I-Pod, now give it back!" I growled in his face. He was turning a bit red from my strong grip. He looked at me furiously. I stared back. Kyle couldn't lie. It was one of his weird things, but he just couldn't. Not to me anyway. I could tell by the way he looked away, how his voice quivered or how his brow furrowed. I held his gaze and I could tell that he knew I was reading him.

"I haven't got it, damn it, now put me down!" I only just noticed. He was smaller than me, and his feet were barely touching the floor.

"What's going on?" came a tired voice from behind me. Kyle's eyes looked over my shoulder, where I knew Stan must be. Sure, the husband was coming to rescue him. I let go off Kyle and turned around, ignoring the 'oof!' behind me. I had already seen in his eyes that he was telling the truth, he really didn't have it.

"Someone stole my I-Pod." I said furiously, looking at Stan who was holding hands with Wendy. He came to rescue Kyle a lot lately. Whenever I shoved him, pulled his hair or kicked his chair Stan would try to stop me or reason with me. Really lame.

"Dude, I have my own, why would I want to listen to your weird ass German music. Maybe Kenny took it, he hasn't got one." He replied shrugging.

"Kinny!" I growled as I saw the poor motherfucker walking towards us.

"Whah?" he replied. His eyes fixed on Wendy's cleavage, which, I had to admit was rather distracting today. Kyle looked amused, Stan looked annoyed.

"Where's my I-Pod?!"

"Dude!" He said defensively, raising his hands. "You can check my locker if you want, but I haven't got it!" We all know I wasn't going to do that. Kenny's locker was a mess, stuffed with cigarettes, condom's, random dirt and empty chips bags. Kenny turned to Kyle.

"By the by, Bebe is waiting for you in the cafeteria." He was looking skeptically at Kyle. Maybe he was still surprised that they were dating. Hell, when we heard about the two of them, about two months ago none of us believed it. I had laughed my ass off not believing it for one bit of course, and Kenny was jealous as shit. We all thought he was joking about Bebe… Until we saw them kiss. What a minute, did I say kiss? More like making out like randy teenagers.
It was at the back of the school and Kyle had her pushed up against the wall, hands on her waist. Bebe's hands were tangled in his stupid curls. Kenny had wolf whistled loudly at that and they had sprung apart like we had caught them having sex or something. I still remember feeling sick to the stomach when I saw them. The Jew was not supposed to be sexually active, he was supposed to be a virgin until age 45 or something at which point he would be so frustrated that he would bang someone like Butters.

"Kay." And he Kyle turned to walk to the cafeteria. Stan, Kenny and Wendy followed him.

"I still know you have it, Jew." I growled at his back.

"Let it go, fattie, I don't like your type of music." He replied without looking back at me.

When we all had our lunch we sat at an empty table together. I sat opposite of Kyle, Bebe, Stan and Wendy. Wendy and Stan were whispering quietly, Wendy giggling softly as Stan whispered something in her ear. No doubt some sex position or something. Gross. Bebe and Kyle were quiet, just eating. Everyone knew that the Jew didn't like to be disturbed during feeding time, much like me. They were sitting rather close though, one of both their hands underneath the table. Probably holding hands. Disgusting.

Kenny, who was sitting next to me, was still looking at Kyle with a calculating look on his face. Then, something very weird happened.

Henrietta walked past our table, her dark eyes fixed with a weird look, a lot like Kenny's look actually, on Bebe. Bebe looked up at her, blushed darkly and averted her eyes. She leaned sideways and planted a kiss on Kyle's check. I expected Kyle to freak, much like he always did when I interrupted him during eating but he didn't. He looked like he wanted to hit her for a moment and then he smiled shyly and kissed her on the mouth quickly.

I looked to the right, at Kenny. His eyes were narrowed a bit and he looked from Kyle, to Bebe to the retreating back of Henrietta. I also noticed that he had stolen some of my fries. Well, old habits die hard I guess. Wendy turned to Bebe.

"We have to go to the principal's office about the dance." Oh, right..the dance. Every girl in school was going berserk over it. Whispering excitedly over who was going to ask them, which boys they would want to make it out with, so on and so worth. Neither four of us seemed to care. Except for Stan who was secretly hoping to get some action afterwards.
"Oh, right." Bebe nodded. Both girls turned to their boyfriends and said their goodbyes. Stan and Wendy taking the moment to make out grossly in front of us. Ugh, they always did that. Kyle and Bebe just pecked each other quickly before Bebe got up. Kenny made a gagging nose at the sight of Stan and Wendy.

Stan watched the girls walk away and then quickly turned to us, leaning over the table and dropping his voice to a whisper.

"Good, I'm glad they're gone."

"Why?" Kenny asked. "Wendy's boobs were looking particularly good today."
Kyle and I laughed loudly, Stan just narrowed his eyes.

"I've got tickets to the water park." He hissed softly. I couldn't help myself.

"You've got WHAT?" Oh, my God! The water park, the water park! I squealed in my head.

"Sshht!" he looked around to see if anyone was listening.

"It's just that, I've only got four of them."

"You ARE taking the four of us, though, right?" Kyle asked suspiciously.

"Of course!" I couldn't help but feeling relieved. It wouldn't have been weird if he had taken Wendy, Kyle and Bebe as some sort of sick double date. But God damn, I absolutely LOVED the water park. It was a thing that had not gone away during the years.

"How did you get the tickets anyway?" Kenny asked.

"My dad won them in some contest at his work, but he doesn't want them. Apparently we get extra stuff as well, like drinks and stuff."

"Nooooo way! Getting drunk in the pool is like, the BEST!" Kenny exclaimed.

Kyle looked a bit doubtful at that. Goody two shoes.

"We can discuss it tonight, right? When we're gaming?" Kyle asked.

"Sure, at my place, right?" Stan said.

"Do NOT tell your bitches though." I replied, slapping Kenny's hand away as he tried to nick another one of my fries.

"They're not our bitches, and no we will not tell them." Stan replied sternly.

"Are we staying over tonight?" Kyle replied.

"Fags." Kenny whispered. Kyle send him one of his patent death glares.

"I don't want to be seeing the two of you pound each other's ass." I replied. Snatching the last fry away from Kenny's grip.

"Fine." Kyle snapped. "Kenny?"

"Sorry, dudes, I'm meeting Ruby tomorrow and I want to be fit." He grinned, tipping his chair back on its hind legs.

"Ruby? Craig's sister?"

"Yep." He grinned. "Will tell you guys all about it tonight."

"Can I still stay over?" Kyle asked Stan hopefully.

"Sure, but we can't stay up late though, what with class the other day." Stan replied.

"Nice." Kyle smiled happily.

"Well, gays." I said, standing up. "No matter how much I would love to stay and watch you two hold hands, I have to go to class." Kyle's death glare turned to me. Angry, dark rimmed eyes looked at me. My Jew looked tired, probably from fucking his girl friend too much. I felt anger start to bubble up inside me and knew I had to get out of there before I would hit the smug Jew on his face.

"See you at nine, then." Kenny said.

"Bye, fags." I snapped and walked away, not looking back.


I was the first to arrive that night at Stan's.

"Hey fag." I said, dumping my bag with chips on the floor and flopping down on the couch.

"Hey, fatty."

"You got any beer?"

"No, I'm not allowed to drink on weekdays."


"Just take a coke and shut up." He pushed a glass in my hands. He sat next to me and sighed.

"Kenny is on his way, but Kyle is going to be late."

"Why?" I frowned. "Busy making out with Bebe again?" Stan snorted.

"No, some honor's project or something." He looked skeptically at the tv screen. I felt strangely relieved at the thought that the Jew was not busy doing his stupid bitch.

"Kenny doesn't really believe that they're dating." He continued. I shrugged.

"I don't really care about that, you know that."

"He says something's off between the two of them but he can't really figure it out." He kept on going.

"Are you jealous of Bebe or something?" That got his attention.

"NO! Fat ass! I'm just worried that one of my friends isn't happy with his relationship!"

"Now, listen faggot! You-."


"That will be Kenny." Stan shot me an angry look and went to get the door. I spread out more across the couch and started flipping channels, passing Family Guy rather quickly and settled for the Daily Show.

"Hey, dude!" Kenny sat next to me and tried to plant a kiss on my jaw. I pushed him away.

"Ah, so not here, huh?" he grinned and snuggled up to me a bit. He smelled of cigarette smoke and cheep candy.

"Fag." I muttered but left him there. No doubt that when Kyle would show up he would jump him. Even though the whole school knew that the Jew was my property. I alone was allowed to annoy him and make him go red in the face with anger.

Stan plugged in the controllers and handed both of us one of them, starting up some racing game. I won the first 3 races, which got me in a very good mood.

So when we had a break and the doorbell rang I opened the door happily.

"Gooood evening." I grinned down at the Jew. He frowned at me.

"Hey fatty."

He walked inside and dumped his stuff on the floor. Kenny jumped up from the couch and immediately pulled him into a hug. His hands gripping the Jew's stupid curls.
"Oh, Kyle! It just wasn't fun without you."

"Yeah, yeah." He replied absentmindedly. Stan came back from the kitchen and spread his arms invitingly. Kyle grinned and practically jumped his best friend. Hadn't they just seen each other at school?

"Your gay romance is sickening, Marsh." I replied, flopping down on the couch. "Let's just game."

I had forgotten one thing though: the Jew was exceptionally good at racing games. Better than I was. Which was NOT good for my mood.

"YES! I WIN, I WIN!" Kyle threw his controller down and leapt from the couch onto the coffee table.

"I made Cartman lo-hoose, I made Cartman lo-hoose."

He chanted, doing some sort of dance. Kenny started laughing at Kyle's happy expression. I growled and jumped up. I grasped his shirt and yanked him down so that he was at eyelevel with me. He didn't look surprised nor shocked at all at my reaction. He just grinned in my face. I noticed how his eyes seemed to sparkle and how his grin made his freckles move across his face.

"Guys! Guys!" came Stan's voice. He grabbed my arm and pried Kyle away from my grip.
"The evening isn't over yet Cartman, so chill." I grunted and pushed the Jew away from me, he stumbled off the table. He kept grinning though and stuck his tongue out at me. I lurched towards him to pound his stupid face, but Stan immediately came between us and pushed me back onto the couch with a surprisingly strong shove.

"And you." He turned to Kyle. "Stop being such a prick." Kyle grinned, but didn't say anything. Stan was the only person he actually listened to. We all sat on the couch again, this time the Jew was next to me. We continued gaming. Me and Kyle ahead of the rest and neither of us ever really gaining on the other.

"Mother fucking Jew! Get out of my way!"

"Fat chance, fatty!"

"Suck my dick, fag!" I caught his eye and he grinned at me. He leaned in so that our legs were pressed together and he whispered in my ear, breath hot on my skin:

"Maybe later tonight."

I jerked my controller and crashed my car.

We decided to just watch some Terrance and Phillip after that, as I was thoroughly pissed off after losing to Kyle another 3 times.

"So, Kenny." Stan said, coming back from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn. "Tell us about Ruby." Kenny grinned.

"Isn't she a little young for you?" Kyle frowned.

"Kenny just likes tight virgin asses, Kahl, just like yours." I replied without thinking. Kyle blushed enormously at that and the other laughed loudly. I smirked and grabbed some popcorn.

"Well, I DO like your ass, Kyle."Kenny replied slinging his arm around Kyle's shoulder and pulling him against his side. Kyle looked very uncomfortable and his eyes pleaded for help at Stan. Stan just chuckled and went to sit in a armchair.

"She is only three years younger than the rest of us."

"That makes her 15! That's illegal!" Kyle protested.

"You think I care about what's illegal?" Kenny laughed. It sure as hell wasn't the first illegal thing he had done.

"Anyway, she came to me. That day I went to Craig's place to smoke some weed? Well, she asked me out when I was about to go home and I really liked the sound of that." His grin made us all laugh. Ruby, although she was young, was indeed kind of hot.

"But don't you guys worry. I'm a gentleman, I'm not going to do anything she doesn't want." Kyle scoffed at that. But I believed him. Kenny could be quiet the gentleman when he thought people weren't looking.

"Are you taking her to the dance?" Not the stupid dance again! I groaned and threw my head back in exasperation.

"Maybe, I guess." He looked at me. "Who are you taking, Cartman?"

"Jesus Christ, I don't know man, the dance isn't for weeks!"

"Like anyone would want to go with him." Kyle said.

I leaned over Kenny, who was sitting between us, and whacked Kyle across the head.

"Hey!" he leaned over Kenny as well and pulled my hair. I growled and yanked at his curls in answer, he yelped loudly.

"Guys!" Stan yelled form his chair.
But neither I nor Kyle heard him, our eyes fixed on the other. He had an angry blush on his cheekbones and I was growling angrily. Kyle was whacking me and scratching my neck, digging his nails in and I just yanked at his hair, hard.
"Oh, my." Kenny's voice came as we thought over his lap. I felt Stan's hands grasp me on the shoulder and heave me back. Kenny held Kyle back. Both our faces red and hair tousled.

"Jeez, you guys really need to resolve that sexual tension between the two of you." Kenny smirked. Both our death glares turned from each other to Kenny but Stan saw it coming. He gripped me harder and shouted.

"NO, Kyle!" Kenny just barely managed to hold Kyle down. He grinned at the redhead.

"Just kidding, Kye." He ruffled Kyle's hair affectionately. I felt myself tense up and Stan's grip on me tightened.

"Let's just not talk about the dance anymore and just watch some TV, okay?" He said. I shot Kyle one last angry look before turning to the TV again.

The evening passed quickly and comfortable. Stan soon fell asleep in his arm chair, legs over one of the armrests and his head curled against his chest. Darkness fell over the room and Kenny shifted beside me, using Kyle's chest as a pillow. My eyes met the Jew's. We were silent but I could see in his eyes that he was sorry for his outburst and wanted to apologize. I just raised my eyebrow to signal that we were okay. He smiled hesitantly and looked down in surprise when he heard Kenny snore softly against his chest.

Just then did I notice the dark rings under Kyle's eyes. I had seen them at school but not really paid them much attention but in this light they were very visible.

"Are you tired?" I whispered in a raspy voice. He looked at me and narrowed his eyes.

"Why do you care?" I shrugged. Okay, whatever.

I heard him sigh.

"Yeah, I'm tired."

"Why don't you go to sleep as well?" I frowned. He looked really comfortable with Kenny on his chest. He could just use his head as a pillow and fall asleep, it was dark enough here anyway.

"I can't, don't know why. I have trouble falling asleep." He looked away from me, clearly uncomfortable.

"Have you tried stuff like warm milk?"

He laughed softly.

"Yeah, I tried all of that." He bit his lip. The light of the TV made his freckles stand out, making them look almost blueish by the glow of it.

"Doesn't seem to work, though."

"Wait." I grunted and got up. He looked at me surprised. I went to the kitchen and looked around. Stan's mom always kept the weirdest things in there and after some searching I found what I was looking for. Cubes of anise. My mom always put it in my milk to help me fall asleep. I warmed up some milk and added the anise. I stirred and walked back into the room. Both Stan and Kenny were snoring. Kyle looked up in surprise as I handed him the milk.

"I told you that doesn't work." I sat down again.

"This is different, Jew, just try it."

He sipped carefully, no doubt thinking I was poisoning him. He drank it quickly, putting the empty cup on the little table next to the couch.

"Weird taste."

"That's just the roofies." I replied, still looking at the screen. He chuckled softly.

"Hey, Cartman." I looked at him, he looked back over Kenny's head, his hand resting on Kenny's shoulder.


"No problem." Soon after that I saw him resting his head on Kenny's and drifting off to sleep. I watched another episode of Terrance and Philip before I decided it was time to go home.

I got up.

"Well, fags!" I nearly shouted. Stan groaned.

"Whaaat." He mumbled. Kyle jerked and Kenny smacked his lips, looking up at Kyle. A grin formed on his face.

"Nice…" he said to Kyle. The Jew looked even worse after his short sleep.

"No matter how much I love staying for a foursome I have to go home." I announced.

Kenny stretched.

"Oh, jeez, it's nearly 12 o'clock."Stan replied, rubbing his eyes. I just put on my coat, Kenny got up and did the same. We went to the door. Kenny pulled both Stan and Kyle in a big hug, grabbing Kyle's ass while he did that. Kyle's eyes flew open and he yelped.

I just slapped Stan on the back.
"Thanks for having us over, man."

"No problem." I ignored Kyle, as always. Kenny opened the door and zipped up his coat against the cold wind. I turned to leave but caught the Jew's eyes just as I was about to leave. He mouthed a 'thank you' at me. I merely nodded and stepped outside, Stan closed the door behind us.

It seemed as though the Jew's problems of falling asleep had rubbed off on me. I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. What the f? This never happened to me! I knew what I had to do though, to become less restless. I reached onto my nightstand and grabbed my bottle of lube. I quickly pored some into my right hand and reached into my boxers. I hardened quickly under my own touch. I thought about Wendy and how her cleavage had looked today and what kind of kinky stuff she would be into. My thoughts then turned to Bebe and her blonde hair spilled out over a pillow below her. My breathing hitched in the back of my throat.
I knew that if Kyle or Stan ever found out I was jerking of to their girlfriends they would be furious, but I didn't care. Every guy in school did the same. Besides, what would Kyle even do to Bebe? Just lay there and take it no doubt. Or would he whisper the same raunchy stuff at her as he did to me just a few hours before? And in a flash I saw it again: legs pressed against mine and felt his hot breath on my ear:

"Maybe later tonight." I shuddered at the memory. I had never heard Kyle like that, so needy and demanding. And before I could help myself I saw another memory of that night in my head: him sitting on the couch with Kenny laying on his chest, a thankful look on his face. Would he also look like that when I jerked him off? My breathing became more rapid as I sped up my pace. No! No! This wasn't happening! I was NOT jerking of to my Jewish 'friend'!

But the vision of me fighting with Kyle over Kenny's lap came unbidden surfacing in my mind. His eyes wide in anger, pupils dilated in rage. I sped up more. Oh god, no, please let me stop I thought. But I couldn't. I remember how his hair had felt under my fingers, his expression as I had yanked it. And in a burst of realization I knew that that expression was also one of pleasure. I thumbed my slit and shuddered under my own touch. Had he been turned on by what I had done? And a vision of my come all over that pretty, angry face forced itself into my mind and I spilled myself over my hand, groaning loudly.

I lay panting in my bed. I did NOT just do that. But as I wiped the sweat away from my brow with my clean left hand I knew I couldn't deny the certain appeal an angry Kyle had to me.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

Anise milk is actually an old Dutch remedy against sleeplessness, for those who would like to know. I hope you find time to leave a small message, it's always appreciated. And let's make a deal:

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