Into the woods.


The big red button.


The button was almost asking to be pushed really. That is what big red buttons are for. There are many warnings posted around the button. The largest of which states:

Don't push this button – it is close to the edge.

Well so is Ozai.

In fact, Ozai isn't even close to the edge any more. "Close to the edge" is charitable term for where Ozai is at. He's already gone off the deep end, big time!

Ever since he was beaten during the comet by the child Avatar he has been consumed with thoughts of revenge! The Avatar made the mistake of leaving him alive. It was such an insult! He'd wanted a good and classy villain's death. He wanted to fall off something high at least. Was at least being allowed to fall off a tower too much to ask?

But no, he was left alive – as if he wasn't even a threat any more. Well, Ozai was about to prove the child Avatar wrong! He'd escaped from prison, and now the only thing left was to enact his plan.

He stroked the button lovingly. His key to revenge was right here, in his grandfather's "secret lab". He didn't even know what it did. Granddaddy Sozin had always been a bit sketchy about what the button did – but Ozai was sure it was bad. Even Sozin thought pushing it was a mistake and making it had been a bad idea.

Pushing the button might not be a good idea – but it is a better alternative to a life in prison.


The Avatar, all his friends and Ozai's traitorous son, burst into the chamber, trying to stop him. They obviously got his note containing his evil and detailed monologue about his plan, so the only thing left for Ozai to do is to laugh manically, in response to the Avatar's shout.

"Stop Ozai – You don't have to do this!"

"Mwahahaha! You cannot stop me Avatar!"

Indeed it is true – they cannot. Without further messing about or monologuing (this was why Ozai planned ahead and sent the note. So many villains come unstuck in the monolgue) Ozai presses the button.


There is a woosh.


The last thing he sees of his own world, before the Avatar crashes into him, is his traitorous son quickly thrust a gold chain with a dangling pendant into the waterbender's hand. Ozai recognises it as a talisman of protection from random evil curses.

He feels his eyes narrow in disapproval. There are only two of those in the world – one of them is in an unmentionable place. The other was with his son. How much of an idiot is Zuko?! Giving his one shot at guaranteed survival to the smelly peasant waterbender?

Honestly what is wrong with that boy?

Was he dropped on his head as a child?

Ozai's almost completely sure he didn't...


At that moment the Avatar crash-tackles into him, the world lurches, and spins and twirls and blurs.

Everything goes dark.


Ozai wakes up in a small town called Storybrooke, in a region called Maine, which lies in a land called America. He is now a very sexy woman called Regina. All of his bottled up firebending has apparently manifested itself as a ridiculous amount of hotness. Regina is the mayor. She apparently runs this joint and has a fine collection of designer suits. Ozai regards his reflection in the mirror, pleased.

"so that's what that button does" he mutters approvingly to himself - as he begins a plot to take over the entire land. This so called America will soon bow to him. He will be the most exalted Phoenix King...err Queen, once more.


This feeling of goodwill instantly evaporates as a small boy who looks exactly like the stupid child Avatar (except with hair) comes running in, bitching about how "Mom" has to drive him to "school" or he is going to be late.

Ozai realises with some horror that he is this "mom" person.


Phoneix Queen plans on hold, Ozai takes the avatar to school - and signs him up for extra maths lessons.

Ha - take that Avatar!


Elsewhere and sometime later...

Sexy fabulous Katara wakes up in her sad panda apartment and sighs. It is her 24th birthday and she is all alone. She has nothing to do today except catch more criminals, like the awesome bounty hunter she is. She should be pleased with her life, but she's not really.

She makes a birthday wish that just once, something great will happen today and she wont have to spend her birthday alone.

Just then, there is a knock at her door.



I have no excuse. I saw the idea of a Once upon a Time and Avatar crossover over at the Zuko and Katara Livejournal group and behold - Into the Woods was born. Expect deep fried crack from here on out.