A/N: My head canon of what Blank was going through at the end of the Red Fog Mission. I had the idea for this after that scene in the game but the idea didn't fully come to fruition till a few days later when I was cleaning while listening to Let it Burn by Red.
Warnings: Head-canon, Unrequited love, Shounen Ai, and an unhappy ending.
Unimaginable terror runs through him as Past Cray explains what he's done with Ross and his men. Beside him he can hear Hyde order for Cray to be detained.
His heart shudders to a stop as he shoots out of his chair. His mind and heart are both racing at high speed and it takes a second too long (far too long) for him to reorientate himself before takes off towards the one place he knows the ex-soldier has to be: the roof. He has to get to the other man, has to see him one last time before...he can't (won't) think the rest of that sentence; because he doesn't want to believe what's going to happen.
Fear obscures everything except the need to find the older man; it fills his lungs and makes breathing almost impossible, makes his body feel as though it's being weighed down by the burden of words he was too much of a coward to ever say. The stairs seem to stretch on and on endlessly, but he knows that cannot be happening; and yet it feels as if it is.
He vaguely registers the sound of footsteps behind him of who he presumes to be a guard following him up the stairs as the ascent continues. He hopes he isn't too late...but some part of him knows he's going to be.
He keeps running anyway.
The stairs seem to reach on forever above him with no end in sight. In fact everything he's doing seems completely useless, but he pushes on, the small spark of hope in his chest fueling his resolve. Finally he can see the last flight of stairs and the door at the top, the tiny spark of hope he feels starts to grow as he throws open the door to the roof...
It dies even faster than it grew when he sees the red flecks of Cray's existence swirling away in the early morning breeze. The shorter man breaks into a sprint, fear and determination lighting his eyes even as he realizes it's too late. Before him, Cray continues to disintegrate into tiny flecks of red, everything seems to slow down, minutes compressed into seconds elapse around him; he doesn't reach Cray in time…
Everything speeds up again as he stumbles through the last of what use to be Cray, his anguish and despair flood his mind as he reaches the railing that just moments ago the only man he ever loved was just standing. He wants to cry and scream at the unfairness of it all, but he doesn't get the chance as the last swirling traces of Cray disappear in the morning sun, so too does any and all memory of the man.
As though nothing ever happened, Blank's head snaps up, confusion etching itself on his face. "What…am I doing here?" he turns ready to go inside when he turns back suddenly taking in the giant babel that appeared out of thin air like magic.
On the inside his soul breaks and splinters, weeping for that which his mind will never remember…