Thanks to my ever-barking neighbor for the inspiration!
Title: Just You
Warning: Slash, 'Bad' Language, Angst, Fluff
Disclaimer: Bla bla bla
A little help: In the third part everything set in ' ' are messages, everything set in " " are voice-mails.
Huge thanks again to all my loyal reviewers!
"Are you fucking serious?"
But Cody just stormed on, down the corridor until, not turning back, not replying to the elder's angry question.
"What the fuck is your problem now again, Rhodes? I thought we'd talked about it already!"
Only when the young brunette reached their room, he stopped his heavy, furious steps, turning to glare at Randy with a snarl.
"WE didn't! YOU did!"
After turning again and sliding the card through the slit with trembling hands, Cody pushed the door open with enough force to make it bang against the wall and let it snap right back, almost hitting Randy in the face when he followed.
"No, WE... Fuck, Rhodes! Stop being a damn drama-queen. It was just a kiss!"
"IN FRONT OF MY EYES!"
The younger was already frantically stuffing his clothes inside of his bag, racing through their room, not even bothering to stop his actions when Randy's fist connected with the wall. Not even bothering to turn when he heard his lover wince. Or when the elder let out a growled sigh.
"You know I gotta keep up appearance. We talked about it. Sam knows it, I know it, you know it..." He had trouble keeping his temper in check, voice harsh and trembling with fury but keeping his tone as quiet as possible. No one needed to know. "... Why the fuck is it a problem all of a sudden?"
"It's been a problem for a long time already. I'm sick of pretending. I'm sick of playing someone I'm not. Of all the damn secrets."
"Damn it, Rhodes! You're overreacting again!"
Cody zipped his bag up and turned around, stone-faced, expression blank, but his cold, fiery eyes spoke volumes.
"Stop calling me Rhodes when we're alone."
The aggression in his lover's voice let Randy swallow, the older standing stock-still as he watched Cody grab his jacket with his free hand. Before the younger could make a step towards the door though, Randy reacted and blocked his path, remorse in his eyes visible as he scraped a hand over his scalp and sighed.
"Really, Cody... I don't know what you want."
"How about respect for a beginning? How about some truth? How about you treating me as an equal and not like a little dog who's supposed to come running whenever you whistle?"
"That's bullshit and you know that. You CHOOSE this life. YOU choose me!"
"I choose to be your lover, not to be strung along forever and ever by someone who cares more for his own reputation than for anyone else!"
They were both standing nose to nose now, breathing heavily, Randy's fists clenched by his sides, shock mixed with anger in his icy blues as he looked down at his only slightly smaller lover. Cody held his bag and his jacket in a tight grip, not moving, not flinching away, not even when Randy's booming voice filled the else now very silent room.
"You're full of shit, sometimes, Rhodes! Calling me arrogant while YOU are the one wanting me to give up not only my career but also my privacy. You never once thought about the consequences of our coming-out, only ever about how YOU feel..."
He didn't really see the smack coming, or maybe he did, the noise echoing through the room still when his head snapped back to glare at Cody, hand covering his throbbing cheek.
"How dare you?"
His voice was cold, venomous and low as he watched his lover take a deep breath and then shake his head in annoyance.
"You still don't get it, huh? I fucking LOVE you, you moron... but of course you wouldn't know. You're way to obsessed with yourself to realize or to even care. Cause LOVE is just a word for you, isn't it? "
Only when Cody had stormed past him and out of their room did Randy dare to move, blinking his eyes in stunned silence as he finally grasped what their fight had been about, what ALL their fights had always been about. He'd used the word on Twitter, publicly at the premiere of his movie with Sam by his side, and today... with Cody standing only a few feet away. It hadn't been the kiss... it had all been that one damn word that he'd never been able to speak out loud when being alone with his lover, in their own little world, their privacy. Not once had he been able to say it back to him. But he'd said it to the woman who helped them for years now to keep their little secret alive. The woman who was nothing more than a friend.
And now it was too late.
3 weeks and not a word from Cody. He was going stir-crazy.
The morning after their fight Cody had gotten injured and he hadn't had a chance to reach out to him. He hadn't been there anymore when the show had been taped. Already on his way to another city, another interview. Six messages and 4 voice-mails he'd left that day, until he'd given up. For the next 20 days he'd tried to talk to him, but Cody had obviously not left his house, nor did the younger pick up his phone or answer his pleading, almost pathetic messages.
He knew his lover still lived only by the few tweets he'd read and by overhearing Ted talk to Stu about his condition, but that had been all. A few days ago he'd even been so bold to show up at Cody's estate, but the brunette hadn't opened his door. He'd heard him moving around in the house while he'd sat their on Cody's porch for hours and hours, getting up every 30 minutes or so to knock and beg, but not once had he gotten a reply. Nothing.
And he was slowly giving up.
'Baby, I'm sorry. Please come back and let us talk.'
'I overreacted, I know that. I'm sorry for being a total ass. Please!?'
"Baby, I heard you're injured? God, please give me a call. I'm worried."
'Please, Cody! I need to know you're okay.'
"Codes, I'm begging you, answer my calls, please! I'm worried shitless here."
'I miss you. I'm sorry.'
"Damn it, Rhodes! Just answer your damn phone already! I'm not asking you again!"
"Fuck... Okay, I DO ask you again. Please, baby. I need you!"
"You know I hate to beg. And I don't apologize unless I really mean it. Codes. Please!"
'I really want to talk to you. And see you. Hold you. God, baby, I miss you.'
"Cody, I'm at your door. I know you are home. Please open up!"
"I know, I know, I'm a fuck-up. You don't want to talk to me, I get it. But please open the door, so I know you're okay."
'I hear you moving around. My voice is raw from calling your name. Neighbors are staring at me weirdly. I'm freezing my ass off. Please let me in!'
'Okay... I'm leaving again. My flight goes tonight at 7... in case you even care.'
'Baby, it's been three weeks... I... I really don't know what else to do. I just miss you.'
"That's my last try, I promise. I'll leave you alone from now on. I get it. I fucked up royally. I'm sorry for everything. I won't bug you anymore. I just hope you find someone who treats you like the prince you are. You deserve to be happy. I know now that you've never been that with me. I love you! Bye."
He'd read them all. And had saved them all. He'd listened to all of them. And had saved them all. But at that last one... at that last one he had REALLY, TRULY listened. Again and again. Countless times. For five days. Until he hadn't been able take it anymore.
Randy had said it. Sure, he'd sounded slurred. Drunk probably. Or stoned. Empty. Beaten. Tired. But he'd said it. And he'd meant it. He had said it to him and had meant every single word. Even those three. He had heard it in his voice. He just hadn't been able to BELIEVE what he'd heard. The words had registered in Cody's head, yes, but... their meaning, their power, had only gotten through to him the second he'd seen the mess with his own two eyes.
The injury he'd taken had not held him down, really, but their break-up had. He'd not moved from his house in days, had turned all calls down, not answered a single message -no matter by whom. But he knew he couldn't go back. He just didn't have the strength anymore.
When he walked down the corridor to his hotel-room that day, fresh back from the injury, shoulder healed but heart still broken, he hadn't expected to run straight into Randy. The older wasn't supposed to be at the show. Wasn't supposed to be anywhere near the town. The only reason why Cody had agreed to come back sooner than planned.
Randy didn't notice him at first, giving him the time to take in the empty shell that once used to be his everything. Randy looked... tired. Broken and completely out of place. As if he didn't belong. Anywhere. Only then he realized that he still had his cell-phone pressed to his ear, listening to that last voice-mail for the 100th time, Randy's words cutting right through him. It was the second he understood what they really meant. And not one second too late.
Randy looked over the moment when the younger shut his phone, stopping his actions as he was just about to open the door to his room it seemed. His eyes showed remorse for a second then before they turned into empty holes once more, the St. Louis native licking his lips in an act of nervousness as he waited for Cody to speak. Or to do something. Anything. But the younger didn't move. He seemed frozen to the spot, wide blue eyes staring back at him, and as Randy moved closer to him, he saw the tears slowly running down Cody's flushed cheeks.
They were both at a loss for words, though Randy at least tried to speak. Failing after he'd opened his mouth. He shut it again. He'd said everything he had to say before. He'd said 'Sorry'. He'd said 'I love you'. Honestly, he didn't think words could help him any longer. But actions. Actions might be his last chance. The last straw to grasp onto.
Thus he moved forward -everything like a blur- until he stopped only millimeters in front of Cody. And before the younger could react, he cupped his cheeks in a soft grip and claimed the almost unnoticeable trembling lips in a kiss. Putting everything in it. All his emotions, all his feelings. All his love.
It took quite a while, but in the end, Cody did react and kissed him back, a sigh of relief slipping past Randy's parted lips when his lover's hands found his hips and grasped them tightly. Only when Randy felt the younger's body and his grip relax, he broke the kiss again and let his lips wander over the salty wetness on his cheeks, gently kissing the tear-stains away.
"We're in public, Randy."
Cody's voice was barely above a whisper and the words spoken with some regret, because he himself enjoyed such loving treatment in public. He knew, though, that Randy never had. That the other had always wanted them to stay secret. He just wanted to remind him where they were. To his surprise though, Randy merely shrugged his shoulders as he leaned back a little to look into Cody's clearly surprised and widened eyes, a smile on his lips that told the younger that he was enjoying the moment just as much as he did.
"I don't mind. Not anymore."
Just like Cody's, his voice was barely above a whisper, but instead of regret, it was laced with pure warmth and sincerity, a little fear mixed into it. He didn't give Cody a chance to shoot him down though, pressing his lips to Cody's once more, desperately trying to end the topic once and for all, hoping, wanting, needing for Cody to finally understand. That nothing and no one was worth losing him. Ever. And he just FELT the moment it clicked.
I needed a Happy End after my Wade/Johnny ficcage. Now on to 'SmutFest' again. So many ideas, so little time :)
All reviews are welcome! (Especially the long ones :D)