Characters and canon material of Lackadaisy belong to Tracy Butlery. Fanfiction is non-profit writing.
Warning:Themes of depression
Originally posted to my person writing account on dreamwidth. Practice at writing introspection sort of pieces; this is very disjointed so I have more practice to do, I'd say.
Frankly, he'd had enough of pain; enough of screwing up and ruining everything. Enough of not being good enough. Enough of all the bad things. So he did his best to overpower the pain with excitement and happiness to the point where he was over-the-top; a joke… Simply manic. Some might even say he'd driven himself a bit mad, but he wasn't sure he'd ever been sane.
It didn't seem to be in the gene pool, frankly.
He combated pain with everything he had; with dreams and hopes and wishes. With all the things you were supposed to combat pain with, and yet he still hurt. He couldn't see what he was doing wrong; the lack of faith he had in all of those dreams and hopes and wishes. It was because of guilt, guilt he hid from himself all too well. The guilt was what caused every bit of insecurity and doubt and, yes, pain. The guilt ate at him from a place where he didn't have to look at it, and so, forgot it was there.
Rocky really did love his cousin.