Thanks to wolfofsheep for reviewing my story, editing it, and making awesome suggestions. The title was her idea, too. I love it!

I don't own The Big Bang Theory, or the characters.

Darn his whimsical nature. Sheldon fidgeted in the hard plastic chair. He was an emotional wreck. Exhaustion, guilt, concern, and anger warred within him. He glanced at the door and wondered fleetingly how much worse it would be if he snuck away. He cringed as he imagined the horrors that would befall him then. He cringed when he imagined the horrors that were going to befall him anyway.

Maybe there was a way out of this. Bribery? Flattery? Money? Chocolates were out. She would be suspicious of that. Penny wasn't much for flowers. Maybe shoes? He could buy her several pairs of designer shoes, possibly. Alcohol? She was fond of drinking but he wasn't willing to contribute to her liver failure. Sheldon sighed and fiddled with the strap on his messenger bag.

He briefly considered calling Leonard or Amy for their advice. That would require listening to both of them chastise him and fret for Penny, though. Better to let them find out tomorrow. The door on the other side of the room opened and Penny stepped through. Sheldon flinched at the look she was giving him. Without a word she marched over to the desk and spoke to the receptionist. Then she walked over and gingerly sat in a chair two rows away from him, deliberately placing her back to him.

Sheldon whimpered and stood. He timidly walked over to Penny and sat across from her. "Penny…"

She gave him a death glare, effectively shutting him up. He looked down at the floor and twisted his hands in his lap.

"I just want to…"

"No." she growled.

Sheldon looked up into her face and cringed. "Please, Penny. You have to…"

"I don't have to do anything, Dr. Cooper. I suggest you shut your pie hole right now," she snarled. The receptionist called to Penny that the taxi had arrived and she stood up. Sheldon hurried to follow her out the sliding glass doors. She slid in and he quickly joined her. Penny moved over as far possible and kept her eyes turned toward the window. When they arrived at the apartment she quickly handed the driver money before Sheldon could reach for his wallet.

He sighed sadly. She wasn't even going to let him pay for the taxi. He followed her up the stairs slowly. He could see the stiff way she carried herself and knew only part of it was from anger. They were just reaching the third floor when they both heard laughter and footsteps behind them. In seconds Leonard, Howard and Raj came into view. The guys froze when they saw him and Penny. Leonard gasped and rushed forward.

"Penny! What happened? Are you okay?" Leonard asked. Sheldon hung his head as Penny glared at him again.

"Genius Dr. Cooper can catch you up. I'm going to bed," she hissed angrily. She stormed off and they heard a door open and slam above them.

The guys looked at Sheldon inquiringly. He took a deep breath and looked up. "I was going to prank Penny. It didn't go like I thought it would."

"What happened? Why is she bandaged?" Howard asked.

"I, um, set up the paintball gun to shoot her when she opened the door. I didn't know a marble was mixed in with the paint balls. She has a couple of cracked ribs."

The three men stared at him slack jawed for several seconds.

"Dude, you are so lucky to be alive," Raj said in disbelief.

Sheldon sighed. "She is hardly speaking to me. She won't call me anything other than Dr. Cooper. I have no clue how to make this up to her."

"Okay," Howard said knowingly, "first you lay as still as possible. Only scream if she wants you to, and no matter what, don't beg."

Everyone looked at him with confusion. Howard snickered. "As soon as those ribs heal, she is going to go junior rodeo and castrate you. I'm just offering some advice on how to make her revenge go as quickly as possible."

Sheldon glared at him and stomped up the remaining stairs. He shot a worried look at Penny's door before swiftly slipping into his own apartment. He really needed to figure out how to make this up to her. Preferably before she took revenge.