South: Where in the hell have you been?!

AOS118: Ummmm, trying to figure out another chapter since this is starting to turn a bit storyish...

Disclaimer: I don't own RVB in any way shape or form


Freelancer Prank Wars

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Chapter 7

Don't Get Comfortable

Carolina frowned at Maine and Wyoming over her morning coffee. She placed her cup on the table with an angry thump! and glared at the two men. "Would you please stop that, already?!" The two looked up as Wyoming's hand thumped on the table and Maine grunted happily. Carolina sighed. Sigma appeared next to Maine's head with a genuine smile on his face.

"Good morning, Agent York. How was-" FILSS' electronic voice sounded around the mess hall's occupants as everyone groaned quietly. It was nice to have someone who was nice enough to greet you in the morning, but asking every morning how your sleep was? And everyone who walked through the doors? Sometimes, most everyone on the Mother of Invention could hardly stand it.

"Everything is good this morning, thank you, FILSS."

"That is wonderful, Agent York." There was a pause as York waved her off and Tex slowly entered the room trying to stick to the walls. "Agent Texas!" She visibly flinched as the high pitched robot voice chose to speak to her.

Most of the time, everyone could picture a holographic FILSS with a clip board who; when she saw someone else enter, would look up and there'd be three lines pop up next to her head (but not connected) to show her excitement at seeing another person had gotten up and come into the mess. Who would then, very energetically, rush over to greet the new comer.

The Freelancer's table erupted in laughter as Texas grabbed a plate of eggs and toast and sat down at the other end of the table, grumbling as she went, like always. She ignored FILSS' constant chatter, refusing to even acknowledge the AI, as she began to nibble at her toast. But it was clear on her face that she was not happy that the AI was not getting the 'get away from me' hint.

"Is she always this chatty?"

Everyone looked up to see Ohio looking away at the blue eye monitor that was FILSS. Ohio looked back at the Freelancers, her braided hair swishing over her shoulder. Everyone around the table nodded solemnly.

"Pretty much." North smiled at her as she sat next to him. The duo immediately became engrossed in their conversation, while Wash rushed past them holding his stomach with one hand and his mouth with the other. His cheeks were steadily turning an unpleasant shade of green.

Down at the end, opposite of Texas, of the table where Carolina, Maine, Wyoming and York sat; Carolina scoffed. She stirred her coffee as she watched the other two agents distastefully. "What is it?" York looked at her, "Something you'd like to say Carolina?"

She shook her head as she sighed, "It's bad enough that Texas is here, but another Agent? What's the Director planning with all these additions?" There were a couple grunts and groans from the two across the table, and Carolina sucked in a breath, trying to contain her anger. But as Wyoming and Maine's grunt's grew in volume she blew out the breath. "And stop your stupid arm wrestling!" Carolina's fists slammed down onto the table, knocking over her coffee, as she looked at Maine and Wyoming. Maine grumbled and Sigma popped up between North and Ohio. Both of whom seemed to visibly lean back a little.

"Hello Agents North Dakota, Ohio."

Ohio gave a little wave, "Hello, Sigma." There was a rather breathy sigh from Ohio's right and another body part slammed down on the smooth surface of the table. Everyone, even Tex, turned to look at Carolina who had slammed her head down. And all of them turned back to what they were doing as soon as they saw it was just Carolina.

"Can we help you Sigma?" North glanced at the too curious AI.

He shook his head, "No, Agent North, I was simply curious who the new addition was since Carolina seems to be unpleased with her. And the Director speak highly of her." Sigma settled his gaze on Ohio.

She glanced back at Carolina, while fiddling with the end of her braid, "Is she now? Is it because of the Directors high speaking?" She 'hmmmd' as she turned back to North and Sigma, to see the little fiery AI had disappeared.

North gave her a knowing look to which Ohio waved her hand at him to drop it. But as she lowered her hand back down, with her train of thought focused on stealing a piece of North's bacon off his plate, the lights flashed out.

A few seconds passed before the lights came back on. And when they flashed back on, Ohio was suspended directly above Texas by a well-tied noose around her neck. Tex shrieked (TEXAS SHRIEKED) and jumped up, knocking her hip roughly against the table. "Oh my god!" North jumped up onto the table, with Wash and York following shortly, even Maine joined the other three men on the table. North, being the first there, was trying to get the "dead" Ohio down; who was actually trying to stifle the laughter that was bubbling up behind her lips.

When North got her down (by way of Wash supporting her, York trying to help, Maine having no clue what was going on and North just cutting roughly and carefully through the rope) and ripped off her helmet and rest of the rope, revealing Ohio's soft complexion and hastily french braided head. Blood was oozing out of her mouth and her eyes were blank. (Luckily she'd gotten her expression under control and her laughter.)

"Ohio! Ohio, you gotta wake up!"

There was a moment of silence as North and the rest of the Freelancer's stared at the unmoving body of Ohio until...

"BOO!"

Ohio popped up at North and in an automatic reflex, North punched her as hard as he could as a small yelp escaped his lips. He could feel the cartilage of her nose give way beneath his knuckles and even a little real blood splatter onto his hand. "Ow! Son of a-" Ohio's hands shot up to her nose immediately.

Shouts sounded as some of the girls chuckled at the prank against North. While others 'oooh'ed at North's punch.

North gingerly, yet angrily, touched the bridge of Ohio's nose. "Ow! Stop touching my nose, asshole!" North huffed as Tex came over to help the two. It wasn't his fault that punching someone when he suffers from a jump scare is his natural reflex! Jeeze, people.

"Well, now you know not to prank me like that! I. Don't. Handle. Jump scares!" North's hands dropped to his sides as he stood up and backed away from Ohio. He watched silently as Tex helped Ohio up gingerly and the two girls quietly left the mess hall without another word. Ohio holding her hands to try to keep blood off the floor and Texas guiding her.


North turned back to the Freelancer's table and eyed each of the girls sitting there. He suspected that this had been a trap from the girls to the boys. But then again, only he seemed to suffer for real and everyone else seemed to be aware of the prank...

Wash, York and Maine were all calmly getting down and returning to their seats, York and Maine having to find different ones due to South and CT's arrivals.

He narrowed his eyes at his sister and then slowly looked back to all of them again.

"Alright. Who, and no bullpoopie, put those two up to that stupid prank!" All of the girls just shook their heads and one at a time gave their explanations of it. Someone also whispered; "Bullpoopie? Did I hear that right?"

"I just woke up and I really don't like Ohio." South grumpily told her brother as she lifted a piece of bacon to her open mouth and then paused. "On a personal level, of course." She finished putting the bacon in her mouth and chewed grimly.

"You know I only plan and orchestrate my own pranks. Unless of course I feel the need to get some BIG revenge." Wyoming grunted at the end as another thump resounded around the quite walls of the almost crowded Mess hall. Carolina groaned at Maine and Wyoming as they continued to arm wrestle.

"I'm too lazy to prank right now, so..." CT trailed off with a bite of her cheesy eggs, shrugging at North and moving her feet as Wash gave York his seat in favor of sitting next to Connie. "Besides I'd leave a corny note or some shit like that."

North sighed heavily as he sat down next to York. The girls were no help. So... Did Tex and Ohio plan that on their own or is there someone on the outside that he doesn't know about yet? He looked up at York when he patted his shoulder awkwardly. "It'll be okay. We'll prank her back! Both of them!" A big grin was stretched across York's face, causing the scaring on his left eye to crinkle a bit.

Delta appeared over York's right shoulder. "Agent York is correct Agent North." North was sure he heard a small smile within Delta's voice, which for this particular AI, was only a little odd.

North cracked a smile back at York and Delta, "Thanks guys."

The two boys and AI received some pretty dirty, and maybe a little threatening, looks from the girls, but they promptly ignored them.

A calm and comfortable silence settled around the Freelancer's table as the Mess hall's occupants began to talk and laugh again in their normal conversation. But the talking and laughing was interrupted when the main doors into the Mess hall banged open and a blue armored personal burst into the room.

"It was ME!"


Back in the halls of the Mother of Invention, Texas and Ohio were trying to stop Ohio's nose from bleeding...

"Is the bleeding slowing?"

Ohio huffed as, once again, the two stopped in the middle of the hall so Texas could examine her nose. "I don't know Tex, how about I bleed all over you! Then you can tell me if it is." Texas shook her head at Ohio as she tilted Ohio's head back slightly and pushed her hand from her nose to see the blood start to leak out again. She sighed. She'd really been hoping that it would have slowed at least, or even better, stopped! But nooooo, life wouldn't be that easy. At least for Ohio it wouldn't be.

As the two turned and continued on their way to the med bay, Ohio sighed angrily, "Why'd we prank North like that?!"

Texas shrugged. "You, and who ever else, wanted to do it! You guys only wanted my help, so I thought why not?" It was Ohio's turn to sigh as they turned a corner and saw the bright sign for the medical bay.

"I know, but... I seriously did not expect him to punch me and break my nose!" She suppressed a third sigh, continuing to add light pressure to her nose making her scrunch her face up in pain.

Texas pushed open the med bay's door, allowing Ohio to enter and be greeted by Dr. Bitorez.

"Hello girls! How may I help you today?" His happy and kind of shrill voice made Ohio's skin crawl as she silently sat down on the first medical bench. He pulled on some gloves as Ohio explained, in a shorter version, what had happened. "I got punched in the face and my nose broke." She pushed the bridge lightly and pain shot up her nose. "I think." Texas sat down in one of the chairs in the room as Dr. Bitorez approached Ohio.

"Hmmm. Were you sparing with someone?" He gently tilted Ohio's head back, "Uhhh, something like that."

"Something like that, huh?" He pushed and poked her nose a bit and finally decided her diagnosis.

He peeled off his examination gloves as he moved to grab a clip board, "Well, it doesn't look like your nose is broken. But the cartilage more than likely has a small crack in it somewhere near a vein that's causing the blood flow. Or whoever punched you, punched you hard enough to make you bleed this long." He grabbed the clipboard and flipped two pages over. "Or.. It is broken." He smiled up at Ohio. "If it keeps hurting with just normal activities like; eating, sleeping, walking around or even sitting, come see me again..." He trailed off as Ohio stood up and held out her hand to introduce herself. "Agent Ohio."

He smiled and shook her hand. "Agent Ohio... I was pretty sure I hadn't seen you here before. Are you a new addition?" He turned down to his chart to fill in her name and the rest of the page.

She nodded, "Yeah, I'm also permanent as far as we all know, FILSS hasn't gotten around to adding me yet. I should be in the archives pretty soon."

Dr. Bitorez nodded, "Alright, well I'll see you ladies later." He smiled at them as Ohio mumbled, "Thank you." And she and Texas left the room quietly.


AOS118: I'M SO SORRY ONCE AGAIN! I SWEAR THAT I DIDN'T MEAN TO NOT UPDATE! The next one WILL be longer, promise! But updating might happen a little faster since school is starting back up. :(

North: We'll make sure she updates!

Theta: appears in a poof of fireworks Definitely!

AOS118: Weren't you guys supposed to watch over Caboose?...