Warning: gay sexual content and rape. If anyone is uncomfortable with either of these, then please don't read.

Chapter one

A few months after the battle of Hogwarts, Lee Jordan finished looking at the Hogsmeade shop, Weasley Wizard Wheezes for George to see what it might need to re-open again. He was walking down the lane when he stepped into the Hogshead.

'Ab, I see you don't have death eaters in here anymore, bet your liking that change.'

'It's different Lee, so what brings you to my little pub?'

'I was in Hogsmeade, thought I'd have a drink before I went home, so a small Firewhiskey,' Lee watched as the old barman poured his drink, 'So what sort of cliental are you getting now?'

'Mainly people coming in to stare at Harry,' Aberforth jerked his head towards the back.

'What, is he here a lot?' Lee said as he saw Harry sitting at the back of the dark put with a bottle of Firewhiskey and a glass. From what Lee could see, Harry's had a lot to drink.

'He's staying in one of my rooms and sits down here all the time. I thought after Voldemort was gone, he'd be happy, but something's not right with him.'

'I might go see what's up,' Lee took his drink and sat down opposite Harry who was staring at the table top.

'I don't want to answer questions,' Harry slurred.

'I'm not here to ask any, well except what in the blazes are you doing here Harry?'

Harry slowly lifted his head, 'Lee, so did you want something or just a drink?'

'Well I came in for a quick drink and saw you. I thought you'd be at the Burrow.'

'No, been staying here, I was going to find my own place to live, just haven't had the energy.'

'Then why aren't you staying with the Weasley's?'

'Look, I might love Mrs. Weasley, but she's got a habit of treating all her kids as kids, blimey I couldn't take that anymore.'

'Well I get you there, she even treats Bill as a kid and he's a married man. I was there a couple of days ago, there all still having a hard time.'

'Yeah, that's another reason I couldn't stay, I feel so guilty every time I see the pain on their faces especially George's,' Harry picked up his glass and down the rest of his drink before pouring another.

'Okay, so let's hear why you feel guilty because I don't get that.'

'Fred turned up because he knew I was there, everyone turned up because of me. So put the blame for everyone dying where it belongs, on me.'

'That's bullshit Harry, none of those deaths were your fault, everyone is Voldemorts fault and you need to realise that mate.'

'No, it's mine, so what are you doing in Hogsmeade?'

'Checking out the shop for George, seeing how much needs to be done to open it again. The Diagon Alley shop is a mess, but at least it's intact, this one's okay, just needs stock, that was all taken or destroyed.'

'So he's going to open them again?'

'Yes he is, but he knows that's what Fred would want, it was their dream.'

'Yeah, but dreams have a way of coming crashing down.'

'Sometimes, but right now everyone's dreams are coming true, thanks to you mate. We're all safe for the first time since before either of us were born. So why don't you see that as a gift, a gift of freedom that you with the help of some friends, gave everyone.'

'What are you on About Lee, merlin my head is aching,' Harry took another drink before putting his head in his hands.

'Why aren't you with Ron or Hermione, or even Ginny, I heard you two were snogging all over Hogwarts.'

'Well Ron and Hermione are a couple, finally, so I thought they could do with some time alone and Ginny, well, I just don't see myself snogging her anymore. She's a nice girl, funny, won't take shit from no one, but I don't know, since all this happened, she's just not for me anymore.'

'Well I can understand Ron and Hermione, those two took long enough to admit their feelings, Ginny, now even though I'm gay, she's a nice looking girl with a great personality, she can look after herself as well.'

Harry looked up, 'I never knew you were gay.'

'Do you go up to people and say you're straight?'

'Smart arse, so fucking any blokes?'

'None of your business Harry, but why don't you get out of this pub and find a place to live, you might not drink as much if you did.'

'I really haven't got the energy to do anything but drink.'

'Look Harry, if you want to, stay at my place, I have a spare room you can use and it'll stop people staring at you and wanting to ask you things.'

'You don't need someone fucking up your life or taking up you're space Lee, I'm fine here.'

'You wouldn't fuck up my life and I could do with the company. With everything that's happened, I won't be working for a while.'

'What do you do, I never knew.'

'I commentate quidditch matches just like I did at Hogwarts, but now on a professional scale.'

'Well I always liked your com…com, you know, especially when you had a go at the Sly…Slytherin's for cheating, which they always did.'

'Yeah, but they still couldn't beat Gryffindor, not with Fred, George and you on the team. Have you ever thought of playing professionally?'

'All I thought of was death eaters and Voldemort, never had much time to think about anything else, well maybe when I might die and how he was going to do it.'

'Oh merlin, you really need to lighten up Harry, so come on, come back to my place, at least it's brighter.'

'You really mean that, you want me to stay with you?'

'Yes, I really mean it, until you get your head together Potter, because right now it's screwed up. So are you coming back, you can play with Fido.'

'Fido?' Harry asked looking puzzled.

'My pet tarantula, remember?'

Harry laughed surprising himself, 'I forgot about that, Ron wouldn't go near you all year when he heard you had one.'

'Yeah, well he's shit scared of spiders and that was mainly down to Fred and George turning his teddy bear into a spider.'

Harry laughed loudly again, 'I forgot they did that, poor Ron. Look if you're serious, than sure, I'll stay with you for a while, might stop the reporters asking me how did you kill him Harry, blimey they don't stop.'

'Let's go get your stuff and head home, we can have some dinner after you're settled in.'

'Dinner, oh year, that food you eat at night time, haven't had that in a long time.'

'I can believe it, you're as skinny as you were when I first met you,' Lee grabbed one of Harry's arms and pulled him to his feet, 'Come on saviour, move that cute arse.'

'Are you checking me out Lee?'

'The way you look now, no, before, yeah I have, now come on,' Lee nodded to Aberforth as he took Harry upstairs to his room and helped him pack his clothes, which wasn't a lot and they all looked ruined, 'In a few days, I'm taking you shopping so you can buy some clothes mate, I wouldn't clean my floors with those.'

'Well, did a lot while I was wearing them, you know, fighting, escaping, locked up, more fighting, dying, coming back to life, you know, the usual.'

'You can explain that another time, let's go,' Lee kept hold of Harry's arm as he was swaying a lot. They headed downstairs, Harry pulled out a heap of gold and placed it on the bar.

'Is that enough Ab?'

'Plenty, now go get a life Harry.'

'Got one, just don't know what to do with it anymore, see ya,' Harry gave Aberforth a wave and left with Lee.

'We have to apparate, are you going to throw up on me if we do?'

'How should I know, I haven't ap…appar, you know, in ages.'

'Hold on and don't let go,' Lee sighed then turned on the spot. As soon as they arrived in his living room Lee looked at Harry, 'Are you going to lose it or what?'

Harry tried to focus his eyes, 'No, I'm good.'

'Okay, come on, I'll show you to the spare room,' Lee lead him through the flat to the back and into a room, 'Bathrooms across the hall. So why don't you clean up and we'll have some dinner.'

'Okay,' Harry watched Lee as he left the room, then sat down on the bed, 'What the fuck are you doing with your life Potter?'

Lee was in the kitchen making dinner when Harry finally walked out and he could tell Harry had showered and changed.

'Well you're clean, can't say the same about the clothes.'

'Yeah,' Harry shrugged, 'Got anything for a headache?'

Lee picked up a small flask and handed it to Harry, 'You're lucky I'm good with potions, so drink that and you'll feel better.'

Harry drunk the potion, grimacing at the taste but within a few minutes he was feeling better.

'Thanks and it's not just my headache that's gone, but I'm sober.'

'Yes, that's why I gave it to you, so sit your arse down Harry, you need food. I can't believe how thin you are.'

'Yeah, haven't felt like eating much, enough to get by anyway.' Harry sat at the table and watched Lee as he fixed dinner, 'So when did you know you were gay?'

'Just over a year ago, I was in the shop with Fred and George, they kept checking out girls and pointing them out to me, but not one interested me. Then I saw this cute bloke, dark hair, gorgeous eyes and I couldn't stop staring, too bad he was straight.'

'I thought you would have figured that out a few years back, you know, horny young boys talking about sex all the time why they were in the dorm rooms.'

'That happened, but I just never got into it and never realised why.' Lee put two plates on the table then sat down.

'If you don't mind me asking, but have you been with a bloke?'

'Yeah, had a steady for a few months, then I realised he was a bit of a coward when he heard Voldemort was taking over and he panicked, so I realised he wasn't for me.'

'Some people just didn't want to get involved Lee, I get that. I know I wouldn't have if I didn't have to, not now with how my life is.'

'I don't believe that Harry, you're a natural born fighter, you would have been involved. Maybe not as involved as you were, but given you were the chosen one, or so the rumours say.'

Harry stared at Lee, 'I was, the prophecy was real, it was either him or me that had to kill the other one.'

'But Ginny said that prophecy got broken, no one heard it.'

'Dumbledore told me, well showed me. He was the one the prophecy was made to. I told Hermione and Ron that but they knew I never wanted anyone to know. Mrs. Weasley was always giving me these sad looks, then I'd see Remus and Tonks look at me the same way, even Kingsley did a couple of times. So I asked Hermione and Ron to keep it to themselves. I never told them all of it, just what I told you. See that's why I've been drinking so much, first it was always going to be him and me and everyone else was just in his way and the other thing was my life, all of my life has been out of my hands, never my choice, nothing. Decisions were made for me before I was even born and they were still being made for me. So the moment he was dead and I was an adult, I said to myself, no more. No one was going to make decisions for me anymore, I do what I want and if that was throw my life away, well that was my choice.'

'Well I get you wanting to make your own decisions, but give yourself a break Harry. He's gone, you can finally make those choices and have a life, not throw it away or fuck it up.'

'A life, I have no idea how to do that. All my life it's been about Voldemort, nothing else, I don't even know where to start to be normal, I've never been normal, I wasn't prepared for this.'

'Look, until I start work and that won't be for a few more months, let's just hang out, do things together and you can finally see that you can be normal, but you need to stop drinking so much and give this life a go.'

'You're a good friend Lee. All Hermione and Ron do is keep asking how I am, am I coping, do I need anything, they act like my parents instead of friends. I know there worried about me, but I've learned long ago to take care of myself, well as best I can anyway.'

'Their worried about you, but as I'm not your best mate, just a friend, I can help. So eat up and we'll just get to know each other better without anything to do with Voldemort or death eaters coming into it,' Lee handed Harry a fork making him laugh then he finally started eating and Lee knew he got Harry to at least start on a normal life, now he just had to keep him at it.