Sorry this chapter is so short. I just wanted you all to know…
THIS STORY IS NOT DEAD.
(Standard disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sailor Moon characters of which I am writing about. This is an original story that I wrote for fun and without compensation. All characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi.)
Two More Weeks
By the time he reached Mamoru's lobby, he was not only a walking bar, but a staggering one. The doorman scowled once he refused to sign in but he managed to outrun him to the elevator. When he arrived upstairs he dropped the bags carefully, not wanting to crack any bottles. He took two out and held the biggest one by the nose, cradling the second like a baby. He found Mamoru and Usagi in the kitchen.
"What are you doing here?"
He slid down toward them. Setting down his beautiful offerings, he made a show with his hands.
Mamoru's blank stare proved he'd forgotten all about their plans. Without missing a beat, he opened a bottle and moved around to reach for a cabinet unsullied by what seemed to be powder covering every counter. The entire length of the counter top was a mess; some parts various shades of brown, others white and sticky. He was careful to not touch anything. After grabbing two shot glasses and then going back for a third, he served them expertly.
Usagi had stayed where she'd been and Mamoru had a look on his face he couldn't place. He took all three shots when no one made a move to join. Slamming the last glass down with an exaggerated effort, he shook his head from the burning in his throat.
"This isn't a good time." Mamoru said.
Motoki felt at his cheeks, his fingertips burning. The drinks were working him good. He hesitated pouring himself another, but quickly gave in. His attention turned to Usagi when she tried leaving the room. She still hadn't looked at him. Were they still enemies?
"Cass didn't say she wanted to talk me, did she?"
Usagi stopped at the doorway, turning only slightly to shake her head.
"No. She didn't." He took the shot. He could feel their eyes on him. "But I never said she did." He poured another glass.
"Yeah, I get it now." He fingered the bottle in contemplation. "But then what was the point of talking to me about her? Why bring any of it up? What was the fucking point?" He took a deep breath when he realized he'd been yelling. He didn't expect an answer from her. Nor did he get one. "Are you ready?" he asked Mamoru, once the silence was unbearable.
"I'm not going."
"Why not?" he snapped.
"I can't go." Mamoru looked over at Usagi. "Usagi and I… We're in the middle of something important." Usagi's shoulder slumped, arms limply falling at her side. She nodded as if he wanted verification from her.
"What could be so important that it can't wait? You made these plans with me, remember!" Even before the words left his mouth he knew he sounded like a twat.
Usagi and Mamoru shared a look. He felt sick. Since when had their relationship become more real than his?
"Fuck this." When he made the motion to leave Mamoru was visibly relieved. He glared at them. That's when he noticed Usagi's red nose, puffy eyes. "What's going on?"
Usagi looked down again before slipping into the hallway. Mamoru shook his head.
"This isn't a good time."
He parked himself by the counter.
"It's your fault I'm here. You should've told me you weren't coming."
"You're early." Mamoru looked at his watch to confirm his blatant guess. "Besides, everything… just happened."
"Then why is she crying?"
Mamoru looked back towards where Usagi had left and spoke lower.
He studied Mamoru for a moment. This had to be important if he was being so serious about it. Mamoru kept eyeing his vodka glass. He pushed it towards him. He looked like he needed it.
"We'll talk later."
"When will you be done?"
Mamoru passed his hand through his hair.
"I don't know." Mamoru shook his head and repeated himself. "I don't know." There was an unsettling silence. Then Mamoru whispered so low he almost hadn't heard him. "She wants us to… date."
"Are you considering it?" He couldn't stop himself from sounding sarcastic. He'd just finished getting rejected by Cass, and Mamoru was complaining about this.
Mamoru didn't answer. But he knew that it was his problem to solve and the right time for him to leave. All of a sudden, he wasn't that interested anymore.
"Ok well, good luck."
And he left to deal with his problems the only way he knew how.
Once Motoki left, Usagi reentered the kitchen and sat on a stool. He put water to boil while he tidied up the counters. No one spoke while they waited. Usagi was staring into her own empty hands as he placed the steaming cup of tea in front of her.
"So," she started quietly, shakily, "what's left to say?"
He took a sip, feeling much calmer than before Motoki had interrupted. He was somewhat grateful considering the break allowed him to think more clearly, but it was still going to be hard getting through the conversation. He put his cup down.
"I just want us to be on the same page."
Usagi didn't answer right away, just held her cup like it was the only warmth left on the planet.
"I get it. This—whatever it was—is over."
He took the seat beside her.
"It doesn't have to be."
She looked up at him.
"It does." She had this look of intense disbelief as she searched his face. "You can't even tell me how you really feel."
"I don't want you to misunderstand." They were completely different people. She wore her heart on her sleeve, but he could never do the same. "I don't want to hurt you." She flinched when he touched her cheek. He pulled back. This was so much harder than he wanted it to be.
"Misunderstand what? You won't even explain to me properly what you think I'm supposed to know."
"I won't be who you want me to be. I don't want to be your boyfriend," he spoke faster when she gave him a deadly stare, "but that doesn't mean that I want to stop seeing you. It's just—" he faltered. "Well, that's it, we'll just be seeing each other. Nothing more, nothing less."
"Seeing?" She gave a bitter laugh. "You mean fucking." She shook her head. "No. I refuse." She met his look and the stubborn Odango he'd come to know long ago was back for just a second. "It's my terms or nothing at all."
"I'm not changing my mind."
"Fuck you. Just fuck you." Her eyes were shining again, but frigid as ice.
"What were you expecting?" he asked.
"A decent human being! Someone who isn't going to—someone… someone—" She dropped her head over the counter, shaking her head as if she'd lost her train of thought.
"What, Usagi? What do you want from me?" When she didn't respond, he tried gentler. "What do you want me to say?"
"You have no idea how it feels to put yourself out there and get nothing back." She looked up in tears. "I missed you so much, you can't even begin to understand. I dreamt about you coming back. Not seeing you the whole summer… after everything we did, it broke my heart. And now…" she choked up.
"I'm sorry, I really am, Usagi."
"Just leave me alone." She pushed his hands away. "This is so embarrassing." She stood up. "I'm sorry I wasted your time." He held her arm to keep her from leaving.
"You never wasted my time." He squeezed her hand. "But please stop pushing it. Can't we stay the way we are? It's working just fine."
"Maybe for you," she gave him a scathing look, "but it's not working for me. I care more about you than you do for me and it's not fair for me to stay in such a one-sided relationship."
He'd be lying if he didn't admit he felt terrible. Regardless of all their bantering throughout the years, he absolutely hated seeing her cry. Even worse, was seeing the look she gave him now.
He tried pulling her into a hug. She resisted for a bit before going limp. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she clung onto his shirt, burying her face into his chest. If there was one thing he really wanted to convey, it was the fact that he was as affected by this decision as she.
"This definitely wasn't a one sided relationship. I'm sorry if you felt that way."
They hugged in the middle of the kitchen and didn't move away until she looked up at him. As his mind wandered, the red around her eyes reminded him of the state she was in and where his mind too ought to be.
Of course he ignored common decency as kissed her anyway. She hesitated, but soon responded in kind with little more urging. She broke away a few moments later, a look in her eye that he was never one to ignore. He moved forward in his exploration, kissing her in a straight line from lips to shoulder. He moved carefully, watching her expression as he tested the boundaries of where she would allow his hands to go.
He squeezed her waist and she rushed for his lips again. They pushed against the counter where he lifted her up and nestled between her legs. Her hands on his shoulder squeezed him with purpose, her fingers teasing under his shirt so that he had no other choice but to take it off.
She wasted no time. She touched him, scratched him, pinched him in an assault second to none except his own. He grinded against her faster and faster and she was forced to hold onto the counter edge for support. She was moaning, he was salivating and there was only so much he could withhold from himself.
Before he could attempt to hook her underwear aside, Usagi grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him so hard that he could only concentrate on one thing at a time. When she pulled away, he knew from her expression that it was over. They were both panting and guilty. She jumped off the counter and grabbed her blazer from the chair.
"I should leave."
He nodded, scrambling to get his thoughts together. He put on his shirt and followed her out.
"You didn't bring a jacket?" he asked before grabbing one of his hanging by the foyer hook. She didn't take it.
"I don't want any of your things."
"Just take it."
She shook her head, but he draped it over her shoulders anyway.
"I'm not bringing it back."
"That's fine." She started to remove her watch, but he snatched her wrist before she could. "I bought that for you. Don't you dare take it off."
Her eyes welled up.
He let go.
"Usagi, please." Her phone started beeping. She wiped at her face and turned to go. "Wait." She hesitated but didn't stop.
"I have to go."
He spun her around.
"If we see each other again, don't ignore me." He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. "Don't ignore me, okay?"
Her lips started trembling and she was about to start crying again. He placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her softly knowing it would probably be the last time. At the sound of her whimper, he kissed her again. They stared at each other for a moment before she started to pull back, but he pressed his lips against her again more forcefully. She struggled against him, moving her face from side to side, but he grabbed her chin and kept her still while he tried coaxing her lips open.
"Usa, come on." His tongue swirled over her lips, waiting for her to relent. He placed his hand on her lower back and pulled her closer. "Kiss me back."
Her lips finally parted and his tongue slipped right in. He slid his hand over her butt and she shuddered and held him closer. He would miss this.
Her phone beeped again, this time faster and louder. She pushed him away with all her might and wiped her mouth.
She straightened up and ran for the elevator. Tripping over his own jacket that had slipped off her, he rushed forward and managed to grab her just in time.
"I have to go!"
"I can't. I have to go now."
She struggled from his grip and managed to get on the elevator nearly leaving him behind. Luckily, he was able to grab slippers by the entryway and made it before the doors closed. Usagi moved as far away from him as possible.
"I'm sorry about that." He felt guilty about forcing her into a kiss. He didn't really know what he was thinking.
He wished she would have let him grab coats for them. He was in his pajamas and she had a short-sleeved dress with flimsy shoes. He pressed the button for the garage, but she moved around him and pressed for the lobby.
"I'll drive you."
She shook her head.
"Then at least let me get you a cab."
"It's fine. I'll walk."
She kept looking at her phone and even though she had put it on silent, the lights were flashing. Then it started beeping again, shriller than before and Usagi rushed for the elevator button and held it down as if it would somehow make it move faster.
"If the call is so important, just pick up."
Usagi ignored him and walked in circles for the next 5 seconds until the doors opened. She made a dash for the entrance.
"Usagi, hold on!"
She pushed the heavy glass doors and the wind rushed right in, going right through his thin clothes. It had already started to snow. She paused at the doorway and gave him a weak smile.
"I'll see around, Mamoru. Have a good night."
Before he could stop her, she was on the other side of the door and out of his sight. He stood there while the doorman came around to warn him to put on proper clothes before going out. He looked on as the snow fell faster and harder and before he knew it he was running after her.
No one was out due to the inclement weather. The streets were abandoned and the light sheen of snow just starting to stick made everything seem more serene than it was, than he was. His heart was pounding because he knew his actions were speaking louder than he cared to listen. He couldn't explain what he was going to do after he caught up to her, but he would leave that to the moment it happened.
He turned on the block he saw her go and wondered why she'd chosen to cut through the park when it wasn't the fastest way to her house. At the entrance of the park, she came to a slow and he called her name from across the street, but it was carried away by the wind. She ducked out of view as she ran off path and he followed her until he saw her in the distance where she'd finally stopped.
She grew bright for a moment and he stopped running. Gone was Usagi, who was instead replaced by Sailor Moon. As if she sensed him, she turned back and locked eyes with him. Then she kept on running.