AN: Well, this only took six months to get to you.
The little girl's b-day biscuit recipe is on my profile. The treacle tart and canary/custard cream recipes are available to those that want it and are willing to give away their e-mail address so that I can e-mail them the scanned pages from my Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook. I was way too lazy to actually type up the recipe. Just remember that if you're not careful that deletes anything that isn't a url. Make sure to put spaces in certain places so that I'm able to see your e-mail address.
"Jarvis, get me information on bathroom repairmen in the New York City area. Highlight the ones that do design or that work with designers or contractors," Tony called out the minute he was back in his lab in Malibu.
"I've found ten repairmen-designer pairs, sir. Would you like to see their past reviews?"
Tony ignored the juice that Dum-E was trying to hand over to him and sat down in his rolling chair to look up at the different faces of the designers looking back at him. He saw a couple of people that he actually knew from past experience working with them in several Stark Industries buildings.
"Oooh, is that Melissa Williams with Horatio Design?" he asked as he enlarged the woman's face and went over the reviews people had left on her website and in several online blogs. "Make an appointment with her so that she can fix up the bathroom in Bite Sized."
"The bakery, sir?"
"Yep. And dial up Harry; I want to talk to him before Melissa goes charging into his territory and he decides to hide her body in a freezer or something," Tony said and brought up his holo-keyboard. "He actually threatened to cut me up into little pieces, Jar, can you believe him?"
"Is that a rhetorical question, sir?"
"Don't sass me, Jarvis," Tony warned and perked up as the speakers picked up the ringing phone.
"Bite Sized, how can I help you?"
"Harry, how are you?" Tony greeted and then began to type away on his keyboard. Screens and images flitting back and forth all around him highlighted his face a blue similar to his arc reactor.
"Tony? I'm alright thanks," Harry answered and he was obviously working on something because his voice kept coming in and out of hearing. "Is this going to take long, mate? I'm on the bakery phone and it has one of those chords attached and the speaker doesn't work on it. I think it'd be easier to just call me on my mobile."
Tony's head popped up and he looked up at his ceiling, a grin already erupting on his face. "Did you cave and finally get a cell phone?"
"Yes, I got a mobile. I disconnected my home phone and it's a lot more practical to have a mobile so that I can communicate with family easier. Do you have a biro handy so that you can write down my number?"
"Jarvis, note the number," Tony ordered. "Yeah, I have something handy to write it down."
"Am I on bloody speaker?" Harry asked and rattled off his number. "Give me a moment while I put these biscuits in the oven. I'll expect your call in two minutes."
"So, what are you doing?" Tony asked once he called Harry back and had exactly what he wanted on his screen. "Do you have a camera in your shop?"
"I'm making flower biscuits for a little girl's birthday party tomorrow. I feel awful for the parents that are going to have to deal with the sugar high from this party," there was the sound of a pot hitting the metal table in Harry's kitchen and Tony raised a brow. "Yes, there's a camera in the corner of the kitchen and one in the shop proper and another just outside in the back where the rubbish bins are. The previous owner of the property left them behind when I bought this place. I'm not actually sure how it works but Tara's managed to sometimes put up an image of me baking up on the telly in the shop proper when people ask for me. Why do you ask?"
"I'm just trying to see if there's anything floating around you again so I'm going through your live feed," Tony answered and then gave the holo-keyboard a couple of strokes more. An image of Harry staring up appeared to Tony's right, an image of the store front to Tony's left and the trash dump right in front of him. He moved the trash feed to the side and put the store feed and the feed showing Harry in front of him. "There you are."
"I didn't even know you could do that? How do you do that?" Harry's head cocked to the side and he was obviously watching the camera lens to see whether or not Tony could see him. "Can anyone just decide one day to go look through my CCTV?"
"Not everyone," Tony answered and made the camera zoom closer to Harry. Harry jumped back slightly and his face was contorting into shock. "Is that HammerTech, Harry? Why would you get that trash?"
Harry's eyes obviously rolled and he turned to continue doing what he was doing before Tony hacked into his cameras. "It's a bloody iPhone, Tony. The bloke at the electronics shop said this was the best kind of mobile there was and it bloody well better be with what I paid for it."
"You could have just gotten a StarkPhone," Tony grumbled and then made a note to get Harry a StarkPhone because he shouldn't be going about with a subpar phone in his pocket. "I'll send you a StarkPhone! You could beta test it to make sure it does everything I say it does."
"I already have a mobile; I don't need another one," Harry said and turned his head for Tony to see that he wasn't the least bit impressed with Tony's offer.
"Sir, Ms. Williams has acknowledged your appointment and has put time aside to look over the bathroom tomorrow at three in the afternoon, eastern standard time," Jarvis interrupted whatever it was that Tony was about to say and Tony nodded at the reminder.
Tony looked back at Harry as he put ingredients in a bowl and began whisking. "Harry, I made an appointment with a designer to look over the bathroom since I destroyed it the last time I was there. She's coming tomorrow at three so you should probably set some time aside for that."
"That's not necessary. Only the mirrors and the light bulbs shattered and those are easily replaced," Harry was shaking his head and smiling slightly. "In fact, I replaced the light bulbs this morning when I came in and you're the one stuck with all the bad luck from the shattered mirrors, which are easily replaced as well."
"I already made the appointment and she's a really nice woman."
There was a pause in Harry's kneading of whatever dough he was making and he turned and raised a brow at Tony. "I'm sure she's a very lovely woman, Tony, and you'd know about it."
"Are you implying that I slept with her? Mr. Potter, I'm shocked at such an accusation," Tony said, putting a hand to his chest as if Harry could see him.
"Well, did you? Not that I'm overly interested in who you do or do not sleep with," Harry said quickly. "That's your personal business and I shouldn't pry."
Tony laughed at the state Harry was in and couldn't help the snickers at the really flustered look Harry was giving the camera. "She's married. I don't sleep with married people. She's really nice and it'll make me feel better about passing out in your bathroom and freaking you out."
"Alright. But there's honestly nothing to be done with it, mate. It's fine just the way it is and you're just wasting this woman's time."
In hindsight, Tony thought as he wedged himself in the circle of a doughnut, getting drunk and putting on the suit was probably not a good idea in the first place. Or ignoring Pepper, for that matter. Bad things always happened when Tony ignored Pepper.
He got a to-go box of a dozen doughnuts right after Fury and his psycho super spy stabbed him in the neck. The super spy being his PA. Pepper's new PA. Whatever. It was completely out of left field and he was completely and utterly betrayed and has trust issues now. He's sure of it. She probably told Fury that he wanted to sleep with her. Tony never was going to hear the end of this from everyone he knows. Including HR about sexual harassment, again. Ugh.
"So, guess what Harry?" Tony said as a greeting when he finally managed to wedge himself from under a stack of metal.
There were bowls and ingredients floating around Harry and he was whisking at a bowl of ingredients rather fast, his face red and eyes wild.
"Hm, you've managed to explode your mansion at your birthday party?" Harry asked, but he didn't look at the camera.
"Besides that," Tony said, his face still a wild grin. "I just discovered an element! Or, re-discovered it, actually! It tastes like coconut and metal. No more palladium chips charging up the arc reactor."
"That's bloody fantastic," Harry's face turned to the camera with a small smile. "Was it necessary to blow up your mansion in the re-discovery of this element, then?"
"One of my best friends borrowed one of my suits without asking and we ended up fighting in the middle of the living room. It was a mess and now Pepper's mad at me and my PA, who is now Pepper's PA, by the way, turns out to have been lying to me all this time," Tony said and Harry stopped his whisking and nodded his head. "What are you making? Are you okay? From what I remember you said the spinning bowls were my fault because of the arc reactor but I'm not there and the bowls are spinning."
"I'm just a bit stressed." Harry shrugged and the bowl he had been mixing floated over to a tart pan that was floating over to the oven and the contents in the bowl poured themselves into the pan. "I'm making treacle tart to calm my nerves. Teddy broke his arm and I received a call from the headmistress about it. It's not anything major as far as she said and he's out of the infirmary already. I just worry for him, is all."
"You're a parent, of course you do," Tony said with a nod. He got up from the chair he was sitting on and wandered over to the kitchenette to see if there was any more coffee or if he had drank all of it in the last thirty-six hours. "I don't think I've slept in the last two days and a good chunk of my house is in ruins. There's no coffee left and I need a sandwich."
"You need something more filling than a sandwich if all you've been eating and drinking is coffee for the last two days, Tony," Harry said and shook his head.
"I had doughnuts somewhere around here!" Tony yelled and eyed U with a steely eye when the robot pointed towards Dum-E. Dum-E whirred his arm about and the box the doughnuts had been in crashed to the floor… with the doughnuts inside. "Dum-E! I'm going to dismantle you! Jarvis, call for some food. You useless piece of metal and bolts!"
"Who are you shouting abuse to, if I may ask?" Harry asked.
Harry's head snapped towards the camera and he blinked up at it in confusion. "Do you normally talk to robots that can't talk back? It'll turn into one of those horrid sci-fi movies one night and your robots will end up killing you."
"Jarvis can talk back since he's an AI," Tony answered and pushed Dum-E away when he tried to apologize. "I built them smart enough that they continue to learn about their surroundings. Jarvis has control of them and takes care of them on any other time that I'm not available."
"Jarvis is your robot helper, then?" Harry asked with a small smile. "I can't believe I talk with someone that has a robot helper. When you first mentioned Jarvis and his mainframe I thought you were talking about an artist and the frame the art was housed in. I'm assuming that a mainframe is computer or robot related and I shouldn't actually try to understand it because it'll go over my head completely."
"Jarvis is a super computer," Tony said proudly and patted U's arm and then Dum-E when he wheeled close enough.
"Oh, bloody hell. You've gone and built Skynet," Harry said and laughed. "I only know what that is because Teddy loves those movies and I thought they were complete nonsense. Is it even possible to even build something like Skynet, though?"
"That's frightening to even think about," Harry said. "If you do end up making Skynet remember that I gave you good coffee and for that I should stay alive."
"Not to mention good cookies and muffins," Tony added and sat back on his chair. "Man, I would kill for one of your muffins right about now."
"Next time you come over I'll have a selection of your choice at the ready for you, how's that?"
Hope you aren't already closed. Coming over with some friends for coffee. –Stark
I wasn't aware I could write messages in this thing. I'll have a pot ready for you and I suppose someone has to eat the new blueberry muffins I made. –HP
Did you really destroy a good portion of Queens or is CNN exaggerating? –HP
How are you even alive? –HP
CNN is a big liar and I avoided the things trying to kill me. –Stark
Is everyone alright? –HP
A couple of injuries that my lawyers will never hear the end of. Pepper wants to resign and I'm hoping coffee will make her forget about it. –Stark
I don't think she likes the coffee I have. She wants one of those fancy foamy things from Starbucks. I have cake, though. –HP
We're outside, is the door open? –Stark
Tony put his phone away and opened the passenger side door of the car just as Harry opened the door to Bite Sized. It was obvious that Harry was just closing up and that he had made another allowance for Tony and stayed behind so that Tony could get his coffee.
"Aren't you closed?" Pepper asked as she got out of the car.
"It's alright. Please, come in." Harry smiled at her and motioned her inside. Rhodey gave Tony a look but followed Pepper into the bakery.
Happy and Tony were the last to make their way inside and Harry closed the door behind them when they entered.
"Mr. Potter, it's nice to see you again," Happy greeted with a bright smile.
Tony just made his way to the coffee pot and poured himself a mug and then took another mug out of the rack they were hanging from and poured a mug for Pepper.
"I've missed this coffee," Tony sighed into his mug and pushed the pot over to Rhodey. "It's really good Brazilian coffee."
"It's a pleasure to see you again as well, Mr. Hogan," Harry answered and smiled brightly at Happy. "How have you been since we last saw each other?"
"My life isn't without its excitements," Happy said and quickly turned away from Pepper and Tony as they both frowned at him. "How's your son?"
"He broke his arm playing sports but other than that he's static that I've gotten him a mobile. He's coming to spend his summer holidays with me since Andromeda, his grandmother, is going to be teaching a history intensive course at an all girls' school in Salem as a summer elective." Harry shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "Hopefully I'll be able to keep him entertained enough. I remember being twelve and having absolutely no idea what to do with myself half the time."
"So, Harry, this is my friend Lt. Colonel James Rhodes," Tony said before Harry could start talking to Happy again. He then motioned between Rhodey and Harry. "Rhodey, this is Harry Potter. He owns this bakery."
"Are you the friend that borrowed the Iron Man armor without asking for permission, then?" Harry asked and then widened his eyes and covered his mouth. "Sorry, that was rude."
"Yeah, same one," Tony said with a shake of his head. "He took the suit and then had Justin Hammer touch it and basically make it into a toy. Hammer is the most useless man when it comes to technology. Did you know he's the one responsible for all those explosions at the Expo? He actually got Vanko out of jail to build him killer robots that he calls Hammeroids."
"That's a rather unfortunate name to call robots. A slip of the tongue and they'd be 'hemorrhoids' instead," Harry shook his head and watched as Pepper nearly snorted her coffee. "Who named them?"
"I thought they were called Hammerbots?" Pepper whispered to herself and made eye contact with Harry. They each gave the other nods as if trying to figure out which one was the actual name of the killer robots that had destroyed Queens not even an hour before.
"Hammer is a tool that wouldn't know proper circuitry or weapons making if it bit him on the ass and danced around him naked." Tony shook his head and gulped down his coffee to only pour another mug full of the liquid, his face thunderous when he looked back up and stared at Rhodey. "Why would you go to him? Out of hundreds of weapons' makers you go to Hammer. Didn't you see the testing he was doing to make his own suits and how a guy is now paralyzed for life because of his stupidity? You were right there at the hearing, Rhodey, it couldn't be missed since I played it on every screen in the damned place."
"Look, you were armed and drunk," Rhodey said, his face set for an argument that was sure to come. "You were blowing things up for fun. It was going to end up with someone hurt at the end of that party and you know it."
"Even at my drunkest I wouldn't have hurt anyone."
"Not intentionally, no. But you could have!"
"So, you just take my suit and then take it to the government when I very specifically said that I didn't want any of the Iron Man suits to be under any government's control? And not to mention the whole Hammer thing. If you keep moronic contracts with people like Hammer don't be surprised if a lot of things like The Ex-Wife happen again. Repeatedly."
Tony was ranting and his hand would have been shaking with his rage if he hadn't been holding the handle of the mug so hard that he could feel it in his bones. Pepper had taken a step back and Happy looked uncomfortable next to Harry.
"It wouldn't have happened if you had a contract like you used to, Tony," Rhodey said and Tony quite literally bristled. "We are left with nothing but second class weapons' manufacturers because you took all your weapons out of production. I knew the only way I could defend this country was with something that you had built. Anything less than that and our country is at a huge disadvantage against anyone trying to attack us."
"I don't really think he really minds that you took the armor to protect your country, as a soldier it's something you'd be ordered to do, but I do think that he's angry that you took it without asking for permission," Harry tried to salvage the conversation. "That's a rather large breach of trust between friends. I'm sure he would have said yes eventually to you having one of the armors but you just took it from him and then went and took it to your government who then modified it with the tools and weapons of a subpar engineer." Tony raised a brow and Harry shrugged. "Teddy was rather ticked that Hammer tried to copy the specs of the Iron Man armor to make his own. And the bloke started doing human testing before anyone was sure that it could support a grown man inside. I learned some big words like 'engineer,' 'specs,' and 'human testing'." Harry grinned.
"Can you stay out of this, please?" Rhodey asked putting his hand up to ward off any more comments coming from Harry's side of the room.
Harry put his hands up defensively and backed away. He made his way to the fridge in the corner and motioned for Rhodey to continue talking while he took a washcloth and began wiping down the fridge glass with it. It had to be said that Harry owned this place and that he could easily kick them all out but he was either way too British to do so or didn't want to kick Tony out and kicking Tony's friends out would result in kicking Tony out. And he did promise the billionaire blueberry muffins and Tony was looking forward to those.
"You can keep the suit, Rhodey," Tony said calmly and ignored the raised brows from Pepper and Harry's smile from the corner. "But don't expect me to actually work with it. It's yours to do whatever it is you want to do with it. As long as the suit doesn't end up on the news actively being a bad image for Stark Industries, for me, or for Pepper. It's all out of my hands."
"Okay, I get it," Rhodey agreed with a nod. "Look, I have to go report this whole thing to my superiors anyway. I'll talk to you later about it." Tonny nodded but Rhodey frowned. "I'm serious about this, Tony. I don't want this to be what messes everything up and I'm trying to do right by you but you have to understand that I also have a responsibility to the safety of this country."
"Yeah, I know, buddy," Tony nodded again and whacked Rhodey on the shoulder companionably but still harder than was strictly necessary to hit a person. "Next time you're around you're buying the drinks."
"I look forward to it," Rhodey grinned and with that everything was settled between the friends.
"I have to go give a press conference about this, Tony," Pepper said and shook her head. She had barely drank her coffee but now managed to drink what was left in her mug without even wincing that it was already ridiculously cold. "I'll talk to the lawyers about the injured people and start up accounts to deal with the medical bills and do some damage control."
"Why does Stark Industries have to pay for the damage?" Harry asked, and winced when everyone turned around to look at him. "I mean, this is all Justin Hammer's fault, isn't it? If it hadn't been for his robots and for getting Ivan Vanko out of jail this wouldn't have happened, yeah? The Stark Expo is loosing revenue because of what Hammer did and they can't get that back now because Vanko destroyed a good portion of Queens with Hammer's stupid robots."
"He has a point, Pep," Tony said with a grin and turned to look over at Pepper to get her opinion on it. "He is completely responsible for all this. You were there when the cops got him, right? Just talk to my lawyers about what exactly Hammer did and if they need me to come in and talk about the specifics, including blatant theft of Stark Industries tech, you just call me up. Make sure that everyone that needs to gets sent to the hospital first or that they're already in the hospital, that's a priority right now."
"I'll do the best that I can," Pepper said with a nod and then turned to the door. She was just about to open the door when she turned on her heel and smiled at Harry. "Thanks for the coffee. I needed the pick-me-up after the day I've had."
"Wait a moment, let me get you some canary creams before you leave," Harry said and rushed to the back of the store towards the kitchen.
"He's giving you canary creams; he's never given me canary creams before," Tony grumbled and Happy grinned but tried to hide it behind his hand when Tony gave him a look. "What the hell are canary creams anyway?" Tony asked Pepper just as Harry came back out with a box from the bakery in one hand and what looked to be a thermos emblazoned with the bakery logo as well.
"Canary creams are custard creams," Harry said and handed over the thermos and box to Happy while Pepper gave Harry a hug to thank him. "Some people that I consider family modified some regular old custard creams and turned them into what they liked to call canary creams. It's two biscuits with a sort of vanilla pudding filling in the middle. It's not that big of a deal but they're honestly a lot different from the store bought ones I've had before."
"Thanks so much for these, Harry," Pepper said and smiled again. "I'll make sure to stop by the next time I'm in New York City to at least say hello." She turned around and gave Tony a long look that Tony was positive was supposed to convey things like: 'Don't do anything stupid. Don't sleep with him. Don't cause a scandal. Don't explode anything,' amongst other things.
"Don't you have a press conference to give, Pep?"
Thanks for reading! (and feel free to review)
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