The Adventures of Obito

Welcome! A series of short stories during Obito's time with Madara. Supposed to be silly, fun, and a little endearing, I guess.

(Because sugar, spice, and everything nice are the key ingredients to Naruto's main antagonist.)

Notes: Madara's will is projected with the body of one of those Zetsu thingies, and it's basically himself, just younger. His old self sits in the corner, in -sleep- mode.

These don't necessarily go in order, they're supposed to be random and funny. Some will have some sort of timeline, thought (not that Naruto actually has one that makes sense...)

The swirly-faced guy has been dubbed Tobi by most, so here, he is Tobi. (Yaaay Tobi, the good boy!)

Please enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. It's quite obvious why...(I've destroyed everyone's characterization. Though I'm not as far as Naruto SD yet. -laughs-)

I've actually doodled some of these scenes. My dA account will...eventually have them put up. XD

Chapter 1: Laugh in Your Face

One would think that when it starts raining, a normal human might find shelter. But keep in mind that these three are nowhere near normal, if at all human, and will not find shelter unless the apocalypse is approaching, and waving tacos of doom in their faces. Even then, even the greatest shinobi of all time could not be sure if these three would actually run for their lives—most likely, they would laugh at the taco-waving doomsday with the brightest grins on their faces.

And the adults would sigh, and mutter, "Children. Don't know what to do with'em."

Given this, it is obviously raining, but the children don't care. In fact, they leap about in the mud and fling it at one another. A blob of mud flies into one of their eyeholes, making them laugh. At this, one should wonder what sort of person has an…eyehole.

The one with the…eyehole, waving his arms, begins to scream.

"See what you did?!" he exclaims, while the other two shriek with laughter, just refraining from rolling in the mud and dirtying themselves further.

"Great aim, great aim!" yells the pale boy, whose hair is a grassy green and his teeth are knife sharp.

"I've been training this arm, after all!" the other boy returns, grinning as he winds up like he's going to pitch another mud ball. His right arm is pale, sort of pasty, but an arm all the same. The right side of his face is scarred, and he lacks a left eye, but that's all right, because he doesn't need it, even in the rain.

There is the sound of mud slopping, and the eyehole one staggers about, feet sinking deep in the mud. The other two are deeper than their ankles, and pretty much stuck as well, but it's not like they have anywhere they need to be, unless their old man sends for them. Thinking of him, the three children pause and think of the consequences of dragging their muddy feet back into the cavern. It would really make the old man pissed if they tracked in this amount of slop.

Then again, they think that making the old man pissed is hilarious. So they head inside.

"Obito," the old man said, rather harshly. Technically speaking, the one that opened his mouth to scold the boy was not an old man, but a rather young one. However, this was just a bunshin, or clone, projection of the real man, an ancient thing hibernating in the corner over there, attached to a monstrous statue called the Gedo Mazou. It was this statue that kept him breathing, and allowed him to throw out this bunshin that scolded the boys like a father.

"Yes?" Obito said, rather innocently. He picked some dirt from under his nails, shaking his dark hair free of rain and mud. He knew that Zetsu was somewhere on the left, but since he lacked the vision, couldn't see the green-haired figure.

"What's this?" the old man said, gesturing to the tracks of mud they'd trailed in with them. Tobi tapped his chin, then thoughtfully pointed at his eyehole. Why he pointed at his eyehole, they had no idea.

"Mud," Tobi said simply.

"I know that," the old man hissed. "Clean it up, before I make you do something worse."

"Yes mom," all three replied in unison. The old man glared at them menacingly, red Sharingan eyes spinning. Somewhere deep in his ancient heart, he was fond of the three of them, especially Obito, but his cold exterior showed nothing, of course.

"When it stops raining, we should go to the market," Tobi suggested, before shaking like a wet dog, letting mud spew from his eyehole. The other two grimaced at him, for making more work. Zetsu quietly suggested shoving all of the mud into Tobi's eyehole and then dumping him outside.

"Why the market?" Obito asked, after agreeing devilishly with Zetsu's plan.

"Because it's fun," Tobi answered simply. He was about to elaborate on how they didn't need food, but it was fun to eat anyway, and perhaps Obito would like some food once in a while—and by the way, does Obito like pasta?—when the two others grabbed him and tried shoving mud in his eyehole, despite his wails to spare him.

"Boys!" the old man hollered from the other side of the cavern.

"Sorry, old man!" Obito called back, shoving his hand over Tobi's eyehole in an attempt to muffle his screams.

"You'd better have that floor spotless in twenty minutes," the old man growled.

The boys cringed and hurriedly began mopping, sweeping, scrubbing, throwing, flopping, chucking, and shoving the mud out. Trying all sorts of movements that they thought might be useful, the disastrous cleaning trio began to clear the floor. It turned into a competition of who could get rid of the most mud the fastest, which was actually quite effective. In the end, Obito finished it off with a light Katon, drying off the surprisingly smooth cavern floor. It sparkled impossibly bright, and it reminded Obito of Maito Gai's impossibly bright teeth. Obito shuddered.

"It's clean, old man!" he called, to where the old man was polishing a long sword.


"Can I go out again, old man?"

"No." Obito was given a very exasperated look, which the boy inwardly giggled at. "Haven't you had enough today, Obito?"

"Gramps, that's a terrible question," Obito deadpanned.

"Of course it is," the old man sighed. "Do you want to train, or not?"

At this, Obito visibly brightened, and nodded eagerly. On the newly cleaned floor, the two began to spar. The old man—who really hated being called old, because he was rather proud of his young appearance—knocked Obito off his feet easily.

"You're not going to hit me like that," he said flatly. "Use your eye, boy."

"Yes sir," Obito mumbled, climbing to his feet. He felt a tug at his stomach, as the chakra began to flow some more, and began to use his right eye. Now, when the old man swung his fist, it sifted right through Obito's head. However, when Obito went to strike back, he slipped through the old man's chest and ended up face first on the floor.

"Hey, Obito, just because you admire your work so much, it doesn't mean you have to kiss it!" Zetsu called. Tobi sniggered.

"You can't hit me if you don't solidify, fool," the old man told him. Obito picked himself up a second time, grumbling to himself.

"Let's make a bet, then," Obito declared. This piqued the older man's attention, and he listened. "If I knock you down, then we get to do whatever we like in town tomorrow."

The old man listened, and considered.

"On the conditions that you don't make too much of a ruckus, understand?" He ruffled Obito's hair fondly. He would agree to the bet, as long as Zetsu kept an eye on the boy.

"Thanks, Gramps!" Obito made to hug the man, but his intentions were easily seen through. The man leapt backwards, cautiously holding up his hands in a defensive pose.

"Madara's not that stupid, Obito!" Zetsu called.

"Will you just shut up?" Obito snapped.

"Only if you tell me what poop is like," Tobi piped up. Zetsu grinned, and Obito wanted to bang his head against a wall. Well, first, he had to knock Madara down, however impossible that seemed. He was determined to go see town, though. He hadn't seen civilization in months, besides that random Grass Village guy they'd stumbled upon the other day. Actually, the Grass shinobi stumbled upon them, playing amongst the old fossils and gigantic skeleton of an ancient creature. Because he'd discovered part of their secret hideout, they'd killed him.



"Gotcha!" Obito materialized out of the floor and grabbed Madara's ankle, successfully pulling the man's feet from beneath him. Madara relented, allowing the boy to trip him. To be honest, he hadn't really expected the boy to be able to sift through the ground like that, so early in the discovery of his abilities. But that was sufficient for now, and so he agreed to let the boy go to the market.

"Don't make me come up there," Madara warned.

"I'm not that bad of a kid, you know," Obito laughed. "I was the good kid, way back when!"

"I doubt that," Tobi snickered. Obito glared at him, and the masked man shrieked with laughter and hid behind Zetsu.

"I was!" Obito retorted indignantly. "I helped the old ladies cross the street, and I—"

"You know, I've always wanted to know what it was like to have to take a dump—"

"You never stop, do you?" muttered Obito. Tobi shook his head and snickered.

"If you tell him, maybe he will." Zetsu nodded thoughtfully.

Watching the three of them, suddenly, Madara was tired.

And so, as taco-wielding fate would deem, the three kids head into town the next day, bright and early in the morning. Okay, maybe not so early, but right smack in the middle of shopping time, when all the moms are out to buy lunches and groceries, all the dads are working, and then there's the random truant kids that don't feel like going to school, and are, instead, stealing bread. (Or they're stealing bread because they need it…)

The market will face the worst trouble its ever run into in years, and after that, just the sight of kids will make it cringe. The shopkeepers and wide-eyed mothers will always remember the swirly-faced…thing, the boy with the goggles, and the green-haired boy with the pointy teeth. They are quite memorable. One woman, in particular, will think that she recognizes one of the trio, but shakes it off because it's more like she's hallucinating. She doesn't remember that clearly, anyway.

So, everyone is asleep until it's time to go to the market.

But, there is someone up bright and early in the morning. It's the old man, and he's sitting on the skeleton of a being long gone, staring at the rising sun. An insanely large centipede with insanely long feelers crawls up the leg bone of the skeleton. It clicks its forelegs together twice, to tell its master that it has finished its scan of the perimeter.

"Good," is all Madara says.

The centipede clicks away.

There are many ways that Madara checks the area, and someday, they will be the same techniques that the boy will use.

He just has to learn them.

So, what do you think?

Tobitopede the centipede, also known as Shinobi-Yondaime-bug, is from my other story, Green Hair, Blue Eyes, and Other Not So Normal Things.

Hope you liked it!

Comments, concerns, burning desires?!

I picture Madara as a fatherly figure. And this is where I butcher their characters, and make Obito the son Maddy has never had. -teary eyed-

(Izuna would be proud...sort of.)

Also included in my Chem notebook doodles. (laughs) Zetsu's the punchline man, here, and Tobi's our comedian, and Obito's a bit of both. Can anyone guess who the "woman" is?