Snape Meets the Teletubbies

This had to be the worst day Snape had experienced in his lifetime, which was a very long time. And he had experienced quite alot of terrible things. He was going to be late for his Potions class. The one class that if her messed up, he would be humiliated for the rest of his life. The class with those menacing boys, AKA James and co. He was running as fast as he could, not looking where he was going. If he had been paying attention, he would have heard someone saying, "Plottholious Ardagus". Unfortunately, being the stupid idiot that he was, he ran into the Plothole. Normally, a plothole would be an easy thing for a wizard to fix, but this is Snape. So, of course, it couldn't be done. To his dismay, he found himself where the grass was greener, the sky was a beautiful, clear blue, and the sun had a smiley face. He stared at the sun for a moment, until he started to see spots turning into hot pink fluffy bunnies. He shook away the hot pink fluffy bunnies and looked around, wondering where he should go. "Now where is the Potions classroom? I could have sworn I was going the right way." Snape said to himself. Just then, he spotted a green and a red creature. They were quite strange looking; small heads, large bodies, with strange obstructions on their heads. Snape was confused at the act they were pursuing. The one with a stick obstruction on his head was thrusting the stick into the other's obstruction that seemed to be a round hole. Snape figured that they were performing some sort of sexual act, so he let them be to go over to a purple one with an inverted triangle obstruction. "Excuse me, but what exactly are you?" Snape asked. "Me Tinky-Winky Teletubby!" "Um...could you tell me how to get to the Potions classroom?" Snape asked. "Hug!" Said the Teletubby that was beginning to resemble Peter Pettigrew the more he looked at it. It immediately began hugging Snape affectionately. As soon as Tinky-Winky said, 'hug', the other Teletubbies came fluttering and hugged Snape until his ribs cracked. "Get off of me you barbantuic things!" The Teletubbies eyes started to fill with water as they looked up at Snape with puppy dog faces. "You hurt Laa-Laa's feelings..." The yellow Teletubby said. "You hurt Po's feelings..." Said the Red one. "You hurt Tinky-Winky's feelings!" Said Tinky-Winky. "You hurt Dipsy's feelings." Said the green one. Snape stared at them blankly for a moment, then picked up Tinky-Winky by his inverted triangle. "Listen you prat. Tell me where the Potions room is! Or else." Snape threatened. Tinky-Winky just gave him a grin and exclaimed, "Let's make tubby custard and toast!" The Teletubbies started chanting, "Custard! Toast! Custard! Toast!" In frustration, Snape used an Orgasmnus spell on all of them, and a liquid poured out onto the grass from their obstructions. The Teletubbies jumped up and down happily. "Tubby Custard! Tubby Custard! Tubby Custard!" They then proceeded to lick up the "custard" off the ground. Snape looked at the custard for a moment. "Hey! That looks good!" He bent down and helped them lick it up. "Mmm....Custardy." He commented. "Toast! Toast! Toast!" The Teletubbies chanted. They dragged Snape to a garden with Toast-flowers in it. They poured some of the leftover custard on it, and treated themselves to some. Snape had a piece himself, and drew extremely uncomfortable in his lower area. The Teletubbies started chanting again. "Nap! Nap! Nap!" They stated. They teleported Snape down to a room. By then, Snape was more than a little ill. He was shouting, "Kill the Tubbies! Kill the Tubbies! Kill the Tubbies!" Over and over again, for the Teletubbies had driven him to insanity, and the Viagra toast hadn't helped much either. Suddenly, the Teletubbies' angelic smiles turned into sinister grins. They attacked Snape, ripping and tearing his clothing apart. They said in a low, cold voice, "Nap." Snape looked upon them with horror. The only words he could choke out were, "Who are you?" The Teletubbies grinned and turned on their TV tummies. The Marauder's faces appeared in the TV's. Tinky-Winky's face was Peter's. Po's face was Sirius. Dipsy was Remus, and Laa-Laa was James. "Goodbye, Snape." They cackled and opened up another plothole, throwing Snape inside. He arrived at the other side of the plothole, twitching. A young girl came up to him and said, "Hi! I'm Dora the explorer! Would you like to help me on my journey to find the sticky tape?" Snape looked up at the sky and shouted out in a silent cry,


The End.

Author Note: I have no idea what the Marauders have done to deserve this...*shakes head* I feel very sorry for them. It is Cristy who wrote this. I am just the typist. Poor, poor Marauders....