Tuesday the 8th

Dear Diary,


So today was awesome! (The awesome me made the day awesome!)

I purposely didn't set the alarm clock (I didn't forget nope) so West had to do his usual routine of trying to wake the awesome me up. He said he once killed a man with his own underarm hair and a slice of lemon… Or something like that. Scared the hell out of me though… Not that the awesome me ever gets scared of course.

School was boring as usual, but I was there so it because less boring and more awesome! In English we learned about Shakespeare and how Antonio is super Gay for Bassanio. Well it wasn't said but it's so obvious!

Francis kept saying that our Antonio is gay for Bassanio. Then he got all embarrassed and rambled on about how much of a fairy Francis was. I just smirked and said he's half a fairy, so basically he's an elf. I then proclaimed very loudly to the class that Antonio is a whiny bitch worrying his boats (Who also wants to bang Bassanio) And Francis is not only a frog he's now an elf too!

Well our teacher looked at me for a moment. Probably to take in my awesome presence and then continued on talking. Good! If I were her I would have not questioned my epic awesomeness too! It'd take too long to explain why I am.

But other than that nothing else happened.

Oh that detective show was on today! The BBC one! You know the British one! It's verging on being as awesome as I! He's so cool and if I weren't me the awesome Gilbert Beilschimidt I would be Sherlock Holmes.

… I keep thinking there was something I was to mention…

Maybe it was that I had to walk home without my jacket. I was trying to organise my locker. It needs to tidy otherwise… WELL OTHER WISE IT WON'T BE TIDY!

And apparently I was taking longer than usual because Ludwig was distracting me with his impatient nattering. He kept saying something about trying to get home early for work. Some form of work whither it involved homework, a project or even if it was school related I don't know.

Antonio and Francis don't understand my need of keeping things in its place.

Well I don't understand how they can throw their things just anywhere! Antonio said I should be a housewife then the pervert suggested a French maid outfit. Yeah I'd bet he'd like that the little elf.

But anyway I had to walk home with my little bro with no jacket. I made sure the awesome me informed him about my suffering of course. Just to make him feel guilty. He didn't understand my pain, he said it was my fault. WELL! It seemed to me that he was so rapped up in his guilt that he had to blame someone else so that he would feel somewhat better.

Little does he know that soon his feeling would burst! And we will come crying for forgiveness to the awesome me!

I'll expect it any day now you just watch!

… I keep thinking there was something else I was to write about…

… Oh yeahhhh

We have a new teacher for Music. I haven't seen him yet but I'll be having him on Thursday. Apparently our old teacher moved schools or whatever.

Well no one liked her and no one listened to her so I hope he's an improvement. She never liked me playing the drums because she thought it wasn't a proper instrument. What? She hated all rock music in general however.

She made me take on the flute. The FLUTE? Of ALL instruments the FLUTE? That's the most FEMININE instrument out there!

I've bought my expensive ass flute but haven't so much as touched it. It sits near Gilbirds cage gathering dust.

I hope this new teacher doesn't find out about the flute because he might make me actually play it. I heard from one student he's a hippy because he has a ponytail, then another told me that he looks really strict because he's ancient!

I don't know who he is or what he's like, I just hope he doesn't make me play that unawesome flute!


Hello! My name is Sarah! I hope you liked the first chapter of Gilbert's awesome diary of awesome!

If you enjoyed this story and would like to see more chapters please review!

Also this is a short chapter most will be 1000 words plus.