Hip Deep

by Satin Ragdoll

Korax was passing by the doors to the engine room when he thought he heard something. It was something that his Klingon subconscious registered as not good. Not good at all.

Korax had been provocative and rash when aboard the space station, picking a fight with the humans, but that was because he was intoxicated. Normally he was very cagey.

He considered himself honorably brave, but Korax wasn't stupid. He knew that to rush into a situation without knowing what was going on was fool-hardy and enough to get you killed. When you had ways of finding out, it was inexusable. In his eyes it was dishonorable, because it wasted a good Klingon life.

That's why he consulted the security cameras before rushing headfirst into the engine room. He was glad he did. The sight that awaited him there left him pale. "Captain, this is Executive Officer Korax. There is an issue in the engine room. You need to get down here."

Captain Koloth was out of his chair. He looked at his female Chief Science Officer, "Sylta, you're with me." A female aboard a Klingon ship was a rarity, but Sylta was tough, and had family connections. If she didn't take you down, her father certainly would.


Koloth had always been bolder than Korax. Without waiting to hear what Korax had to say, he went straight through the engine room doors. Straight into a heaping mass of tribbles, that all started screeching at him.

He looked in astonishment at Sylta and Korax, "I'm hip deep in little, screeching fuzz balls!"

He backed out of there post-haste. "By all that's Klingon, those things are more annoying than humans! I want them off my ship! Jettison the lot of them."

Sylta stepped forward, "Captain, you must not! Ill treatment of animals is forbidden under interstellar law. Jettisoning them would most likely find you in a human prison!"

Koloth shuddered. He had heard stories. "Korax, you and Sylta find a way to deal with these...with these...creatures! I'll be on the bridge."


Sylta quickly organized force shields around the whole area. Her rapid scan of them and research into their nature had left her shaken. She knew if they did not do something soon, the situation would get entirely out of hand. She also found that just dumping them on a random planet to breed would have a far greater penalty than just jettisoning them. Sylta let Koloth know of her findings.

Koloth roared, "I want them off my ship! I don't care how, I don't care if I end up on Rura Penthe! I want them off my ship!"

Korax spoke up from his sensor station, "Captain, there is a small ship headed toward us. It appears to be a private vessel. Orders?"

Checking the readings, Koloth snapped to attention, "Hail that ship! I recognize the name, and it may be a solution to our problems."

Korax hailed the tiny vessel. The smiling face of the occupant was one of the more unpleasant ones that he had seen. Thin hair, pasty skin, and a large, elaborately curling mustache.

The human greeted them pleasantly enough, "Harcourt Fenton Mudd at your service. What may I do for you, today?"

Koloth regarded him with a steely eye, "Mr. Mudd. I have heard of you. You deal in...oddities, don't you?"

Harry Mudd nodded, "I do, sir. Indeed I do! What are you looking for?"

Koloth tilted his head, "It's not what I'm looking for, it's what I have. And it's what you may have, at a fairly reasonable price."

Mudd's eyes sparkled with avarice. "Oh, really? Do tell, sir. Do tell!"


The Klingons were soon rid of their tribble troubles, and Harcourt Fenton Mudd soon had more troubles than he had bargained for. He was more than hip deep, and so desperate he was seriously considering calling on his wife for help! She might be a harridan, but at least she was bright. But after a little thought, he realized he would rather drown in tribbles than face the wrath of Stella! That was a fate worse than a million tribbles.