** Ah, this took three days to write. I'm not joking. I just now finished it.
Well, this was an idea that had been brewing in my head all day Sunday, I started typing it Sunday night, through Monday night, and then until noon today (The joys of no school :D). I was inspired by MapleRevival's The Eyes Behind the Mask (Epic FrUk story, go read it!). I also play off of the "Luigi cross dressing" idea, maybe because I like the idea of Weegee in a dress XD (Who doesn't? Along with Linky-poo and - okay I'll just stop there).
I've broken this down into three chapters, however for the DeviantArt upload it's gonna be one huge file. I hope you enjoy.

"Next year, I'm gonna be the Ace of Spades."

It was a role that Luigi had been hoping to get for the past four years, a role that was of high importance at the annual Mushroom Kingdom Mystery Cardverse Ball. Not only was did the role sound cool; it automatically made a celebrity out of whoever was lucky enough to get the role.

The Mystery Ball was just that - a mystery ball with the general playing cards theme mixed in. Princess Peach and Princess Daisy were the ones who came up with the idea when the blonde had supposedly come across a gorgeous Queen of Hearts costume in the castle attic. With no event to wear it to, she and Daisy both came up with the idea for the ball and made a strict set of rules that stuck with the event for the past five years.

Those who attended the ball had to wear a mask that covered their face and skewed their identity, making them hard to figure out until all masks were to come off at midnight. They also had to wear elaborate costumes, designed to match the theme of the role that they were given. Guests to the ball were mailed a confidential letter stating what "card" they were to be at the ball - Queen of Diamonds, King of Hearts, Jokers, Aces, every single card had someone to play its role. Guests were not allowed to share what their role was with anybody else - ever, even if they didn't like it. The roles that everyone kept and eye out for, though, was the Ace of Spades and the Mystery, for the two roles held much importance to the ball.

The role of the Mystey was usually given to a woman (though once it was given to a man), and the part required that the guest must remain silent for the entire night. If the Mystery saw anyone they wanted to dance with, they had to approach and bow or curtsy before their chosen partner as a way of saying, "Hey, dance with me," for no one was to ask the Mystery to dance with them. The Mystery was also a sign for a prize - be it a piece of the latest technology or cash, the prize was always something good (the Mystery was also given the same prize if they carried out their role correctly).

The Ace of Spades was also a role much sought after, for the Ace of Spades had the same rules as the Mystery, and was the only one that could approach and ask the Mystery to dance with them. Though, it was rare to see the Mystery and the Ace of Spades dance since both got the same prizes and the people chosen to play the roles tended to avoid each other, thinking at it was someone they despised.

Both roles also got a little extra treat. Ten minutes before midnight, the entire floor was cleared for the Ace of Spades and the Mystery to dance with whoever their chosen partners were - and whoever was lucky enough to be the partner for the last ten minutes got to decide who was going to play what role for next year's ball. And people only wanted that opportunity to make certain people they didn't like play roles that were the absolute worst to be (and there was no need to worry about the lucky two to pick themselves as the Mystery or Ace of Spades, for their roles were pre-selected for them by Peach before they even came in to assign roles).

Yes, it seemed like something that wasn't worth wasting time to go to, but the excitement of trying to figure out who was who and the opportunity to win a prize kept the citizens coming back year after year.

People flocked to their mailboxes and post offices the day that guest letters were mailed out, leading to countless bouts of fights and arguments for the majority who had to go to the center of town to get their mail. Luigi could've sworn he heard screaming from his house – well on the outskirts of the town that surrounded Peach's castle.

He stood on his porch, tightly gripping a cup of coffee. He shaded his eyes from the sun when it decided to finally peak out from behind the evergreens that surrounded his house, watching as Parakarry came from the direction of Toad Town looking ragged.

"Morning… Luigi…" The Paratroopa managed before crashing onto the wooden porch.

"A-are you okay, Parakarry?" Luigi asked, resisting the urge to snatch the envelope that he held in his hand.

Parakarry laughed nervously as he used the railing to help him stand, "Whew, boy, you better be glad that you live all the way out here. I was being yanked left and right trying to leave the post office, 'Where's my letter?! Hey! You! Gimme my letter! Cough it up! Move it!'" he groaned in frustration as he waved his arms around, "I'm amazed I actually managed to get away! But now I'm behind on my mailing schedule!"

"I'm sure you'll be fine, unless there are others who are impatiently sitting at their houses waiting on you." Luigi took a sip of his coffee, "So, I hate to seem obnoxious, but is that mine?"

"Oh, yes, this is," Parakarry held the letter out, "I'm sorry for making you wait."

"It's fine," Luigi gingerly took the letter, decided to just slide it into the pocket of his overalls instead of ripping it open right away, "I'm sure if I open it up now, I'll be more disappointed with what I got."

"Plus, I might see what you got!" Parakarry winked, "Supposed to keep it a secret!"

Luigi nodded, "Right, right… so, you want some coffee to take with you?" Luigi offered, "It might help you to deal with rude people all day…"

"No thanks, I had three pots before I left!" Parakarry flapped his wings, "Ah, another letter duly delivered. A postman's job is never done! Have a nice day, Luigi; hope you got a good role for the ball!"

"Thanks, you to! A-and tell my brother I said hey!" Luigi waved after the Paratroopa, waiting until he was almost over the line of trees before running inside, careful not to slosh his coffee over the kitchen floor. The Italian ran to his living room, slamming his mug on the coffee table and staring at the letter with wide eyes.

"Please be the Ace of Spades, please be the Ace of Spades," Luigi wished under his breath as he felt around the table for a letter opener, "I'll do anything, anything, just please be the Ace of Spades!" he ran the opener along the side of the letter, "Please, I want the Ace of Spades!" he pulled the paper from the envelope and opened it up, "I'm! The Eight of Clubs."

Luigi's smile melted from his face as he reread the letter, and then reread it again in disappointment. With a sigh, he set the paper on the table and looked around the room, "Eight of Clubs. Great. Great!" he clapped his hands against his thighs before he stood up, "Luigi's the awesome Eight of Clubs! Huge improvement from the King of Diamonds!" He marched upstairs, muttering and whining about how he had gotten a role that was always better than the last for the past four years and was now he was knocked down. "Twenty bucks says that Mario got it, yeah, twenty bucks!"

He entered his room, eyeballing the elegant green outfit that he had spent the past seven months sewing together standing proudly on his mannequin, the black and white spade decals that he was planning to add after he got the letter lying on the desk beside it. With a sigh, Luigi snatched up the decals and dropped them into his scrap fabric box, "Maybe next year, I'll finally use these." He tried to reassure himself, though his tone came out negatively.

Luigi rubbed the Club decals he had just sewn onto the coat of his outfit, brushing off any lint that may have still been hanging onto the black fabric. "Finally, I'm finished," he smiled as he put the coat back onto the mannequin, stepping back to admire his work, "I really wish those where spades, though…"

His eyes narrowed, stepping forward and grabbing a lint roller from the desk. "Stupid fabric…" he growled, running the roller over the eight decal on the chest of the coat.

"Luigi Vargassi Mario, come down here this instant!"

Said Italian stood straight up, dropping the lint roller and scrambling towards the door, "C-coming, Daisy! I – I was just fixing my costume!"

"Oh, you were?" The red headed princess called back, "Well, hurry up! I gotta complain about something!"

Luigi rolled his eyes as he emerged from the stairs, hoping that Daisy saw it from her position on his couch, "If you're here to complain about your role, you better not let it slip like you did last year. And what have I told you about barging into my house without knocking?"

Daisy smirked, "What? Scared I'll barge in on you and one of your boyfriends?"

Luigi's eyes narrowed, "Princess, you know I'm not playing on the dating field anymore, especially after I've come out of the closet."

"Pfft, as I said, you could find so many better dates in Sarasaland –"

"Just tell me what you're here for."

"Oh, yeah! My role, this year, is a role that I have not wanted to be ever since this ball started happening!" Daisy shouted, "I'm serious, people will be all over me, people will be riding up my side, people will be obnoxious!"

"I'm, sorry?" Luigi sat down on a chair opposite the couch, "Why do you feel that they will?"

Daisy crossed her arms, "I know you'll keep it a secret if I tell you."

Luigi shook his head, "Princess, I don't want to know, that takes a lot of the fun out of the ball."

"Well, I don't care, I don't want to be this role," Daisy glared at the floor, "I'm the Mystery."

Luigi leaned back slightly, "T-the Mystery? Why ever did they make you the Mystery? You're royalty!"

"Exactly. But that's not really the reason I don't wanna be the Mystery. I had a costume ready for a different role, which I was promised by Toadette!" Daisy huffed.

"I'm surprised she was lucky enough to dance with the Ace…" Luigi flopped over onto his side, "…well, I can tell you that I'm not who I wanted to be."

Daisy grunted, "No Ace of Spades for Weegee?"


"Sorry." Daisy's eyes lit up, "What did you get?"

Luigi sat up again, "Daisy, the rule is not to share, I'm not –"

"Tell!" Daisy slammed a fist against the coffee table.

The Italian yelped and jumped back, "I'mtheEightofClubs." He squeaked.

Daisy leaned back, smug look upon her face as she answered, "Thank you. I think what I have in mind just might work out, then."

"W-what?" Luigi asked, eyes widening as he realized what Daisy was talking about, "No. No, we are not trading. No matter how disappointed I am with my role, I'm not trading."

Daisy chuckled, pulling her letter out from under her glove (which was folded into a messy rectangle, probably from where she was upset with her role), "Well, Weegee, with a little white out and computer work, we can easily switch roles~!"

"But I've already completed my costume!" Luigi whined, "I've been working on it for months! I don't wanna let my work go to waste or undo what I've already done!"

"Chill, Luigi. You can recycle it for next year! If, I win this bet." Daisy tossed the paper onto the table.

"No way, Daisy. You can man up and deal with being the Mystery." Luigi crossed his arms, "I am not trading no matter what you try."

"You will at least participate in my bet," Daisy waggled her eyebrows, "That you can't work up the courage to ask that cutie at the coffee shop out~!"

"W-what!? No, Daisy, I already told you that I'm not in the dating field!" Luigi snapped, "And I'm not gonna default to taking your role either!"

Daisy chuckled, "Well, Luigi, if you decline to even bother, there can be two Eight of Clubs at the ball then."

"No! Daisy, you're not gonna change roles!"

"Oh, c'mon, Weegee, be a rule breaker every now and then. I mean, I know I came up with the rules and that doesn't give me the right to break them, but c'mon!"

"I'm not doing it!" Luigi crossed his arms and turned away, "I'm not switching roles, nor am I taking on your bet."

"Y-you call that cute?!"

"Yes, I do."

"Daisy, that's not cute, that's Waluigi!"

"C'mon, you gotta admit, he's cute in a way." Daisy smiled, standing in front of the coffee shop door with her arms crossed, "All you gotta do is walk up and say, 'Hey, Waluigi, will you do out with me?' I don't think it's that hard."

Luigi sighed, "It is when the man's childish and is willing to ruin your day at any second. C'mon, I said I was gonna get you a base dress to help you make your costume –"

"Nyet, I want some coffee~!" Daisy grabbed Luigi's arm and pulled him into the coffee shop, the Italian yelping and stuttering in shock as he stumbled along after her – at least there were barely any people in here at the moment.

"D-Daisy, we don't have time for this! The ball's in a week!" Luigi argued, "Besides, I've had too much coffee today –"

"The least you could do is be quieter when you come in here." Waluigi grunted when the two approached the counter, curling his lip up at the princess when she responded with a sincere smile.

"Well, I like to let people know I'm around!" Daisy propped her arm on the counter, mocking Waluigi's pose while squinting her eyes at him, "From the look on your face, you either don't seem too happy to be here or you got a crappy role at the ball."

Waluigi raised his eyebrows slightly, "I'll have you know, I have a great role this year. So great, that you and Eyeballs would be jealous~!" he bragged, finishing off with his iconic "Weheheh."

"Oh, sure, I'd be jealous of a Joker." Luigi rolled his eyes, "That's probably what you got again this year, gonna pull out that clown costume and recolor it?"

"What makes you think I'm a Joker?" Waluigi snapped, "I bet you got something lame, like the Eight of Clubs."

Luigi took a deep breath while making fists by his sides, Count to three, Weegee, one, two, three punches in that man's nuts and I'll kick his nose off his face!

"He did not get something as lame as that, Waluigi," Daisy shoved a finger into the slimmer's forehead, "As a matter of fact, he just might have one of the coolest roles!"

"Yeah, and I'm the Queen of England!" Waluigi sang sarcastically, rolling his eyes and sticking his tongue out at Daisy.

"More like the drag queen." Luigi snorted, sending him and Daisy into a fit of giggles.

Waluigi appeared to blush slightly, "I'll have you know, that was only once and it was because of the vodka. You on the other hand, have cross dressed twice while sober. You have no room to talk."

Luigi kept the heat in his face down by retorting, "I may not, but at least I don't ear bright blue eyeliner every day of my life."

Daisy had to hold herself up against the counter to keep from laughing herself into the floor, "I'm – I'm sorry, Wally, but that was kinda – kinda good!"

Waluigi's sneered, "It's insomnia lines, idiota. You're just saying that because you wish you could wear makeup."

"I wouldn't be caught dead with that on." Luigi muttered.

"Unless you wanted to look pretty for me, you would," Waluigi deadpanned, "Oh, and by the way, stop swaying your hips like you do when you walk, I know you're gay but that doesn't mean to have to be faaaaabulaaahs." Waluigi flicked his hand out, rolling his eyes upward and emphasizing the last word he said in a dramatized female accent.

"Why are you watching?" Luigi asked, "If you don't like it, don't look."

"It's hard not too when it's too good."

"Oh, so you like watching me walk?"

"N-now where'd you get that idea?"

"Your last answer made me think you're comparing my walk to how a woman walks."

"Women don't walk like you think they do." Daisy added in, staring off to the side irritably.

"Pretty sure the way Luigi walks is close enough to be classified as a womanly walk." Waluigi tapped his fingers against the counter, "And I think he's just doing it out of frustration – there are not many good looking men in this town aside from, well, me of course."

"What makes you think that I would be walking for you?" Luigi crossed his arms and glared at the taller as the blush he tried to keep down appeared quickly upon his face, "If I do walk like you say I do."

Waluigi chuckled, "Because I know you can't resist me, Eyeballs."

Luigi grit his teeth, fingers digging into his arms as he started to shake in anger, "I can to resist you! You're like rotten mushroom soup that's been sitting on the windowsill for three days! Revolting!"

"Revoltingly sexy, that is."

"If you're considered sexy, then I'm considered short."

"You kinda are, Eyeballs. That's fine though, angry short people can be cute at times."

"What, are you saying that I'm cute when I'm angry?"

"And if I am?"

"Oh, then I'm about to get really adorable!"

"You're just flustered because I said you were cute. W-which is a lie."

"Why would I blush hearing compliments from you?"

"Because you like me."

"I hate you!"

"Feeling is mutual, Eyeballs."

"From your past few statements, I think that's a lie!"

"Oh, what, trying to make me look like the love-stricken fool here? You just wish it was a lie."

"No, I'd be sad if it was a lie!"

"A second ago you didn't sound like you'd be sad."

"S-s-screw you!"

"You know you want to."

"I'd rather die!"

"I'll be sure to give a heart-warming speech about how you kept on denying your feelings for me whenever I'm at your funeral, right before I dance on your grave."

"I'll come back and haunt you."

"Why? You're so scared of ghosts you'd be afraid of yourself!"

"I'm pretty sure if I can stand your face, I can stand being a ghost!"

"You'd only be running away from my face because you want to make sure you have plenty of rubbers in my size at your place."

"That there sounded like a cheesy way of hitting on me!"

"You just took it that way. You'd also take it on your couch if you were desperate enough."

Daisy suddenly started clapping her hands excitedly, "Ooh~ this sexual tension is so tense!"

Luigi groaned and stomped his foot, turning away to try to keep his burning face hidden from Waluigi. "There is no tension, princess." He deadpanned.

"Agreed, I was just doing that to pick on him." Waluigi smirked, staring at Luigi's back with half lidded eyes, "It looks as if I've succeeded."

Daisy squealed before taking a few deep breaths, "Okay, okay, whatever~! Wally, is it possible that I could get two iced coffees?"

"Do Luigi want one with whipped cream on it in the shape of my pe-"

"Just put a small dollop of whipped cream on both, please." Daisy made a cutting motion over her throat, gritting her teeth that Waluigi.

Waluigi sighed, "Alright then. I think I should charge you both extra just because you've wasted my time."

Luigi turned around to retort, "I think I should get a free coffee for terrible experiences with you."

"I think you want more than a free coffee~!" Waluigi sang before walking away from the register, leaving Luigi to growl and shake with even more anger while Daisy started fanning herself, muttering something about tension being so thick.

The next hour was spent sitting in the coffee shop, the princess and the plumber talking about how they were going to put together Daisy's costume in a week – as the princess was too lazy to even bother with a costume until now. Every time Waluigi came into the red head's view, she kicked Luigi's leg and nodded her head in the purple clad's direction. Luigi ignored, hoping that he could seem more distracted by discussing how to properly use hem glue.

When the hour ended, and the two's coffee cups were empty, Daisy led Luigi out with a smile on her face, "Well, you didn't ask Waluigi out. You know what that means, right?"

Luigi began to walk away, "You're not making me do this."

Daisy chuckled darkly as she rubbed her hands together, "Oh, yes I am."