Ermagherd, NaruDei.. Hardly anyone writes it. Challenge: Accepted.

Heh, I just love two blond, hyper bimbos going at it. Don't you? Hah

Warnings: Explicit homosexual fornication and Sakura's irritating self. Some angst. Yeah. Good shit.

I disclaim. &forwards we must go! :D

oOo

Naruto knew he was going to (for sure) break his mom's heart that night.

But he also wasn't planning on losing the girlfriend he worked so hard to get that Christmas Eve.

He stood before the family dinner table, filling his lungs with a deep, noisy breath as four pairs of eyes stared back at him curiously.

Jiraiya coughed softly to himself to relieve some of the tension. Minato, whose hand held firmly on to his wife's like a lifeline, chewed nervously on his nails, fearing his only son was going to confess to some sort of grizzly murder he'd committed earlier that day.

Tsunade was not amused.

"So?" she drawled, brow risen high. "You just gonna stand there, or what?"

Naruto cleared his throat, shooting a glare at his grandmother.

"I'm spending the night at Sakura's," he finally breathed, avoiding Kushina's devastated gaze at all costs. "She just called, wants me to meet her family."

Naruto imagined his mom tearing up slowly, bottom lip quivering like it always did whenever he told her that he was old enough to brush his own hair in the morning. He winced at the sudden burst of silence, dreading the reaction of his grandmother. She had always been the scary one. The one to smack him across the head whenever he did something wrong because Minato could never bring himself to.

Naruto shifted his weight awkwardly, not even wanting to imagine how his parents would react to the idea of his funeral.

As always, Jiraiya was the first to speak.

"You sure, kid? Your old man here made a mighty fine dinner this evening. You sure you wanna miss out on these biscuits?"

"If I don't want to have my ass dumped on Christmas by the most beautiful girl in the world, then yeah, I'm sure."

"Language," Tsunade shot.

Naruto frowned, grumbling quietly to himself.

"Are you sure son..?" Minato spoke softly, patting his wife's back in a loving manner as she began to slump lower and lower into her chair. "I mean.. couldn't Sakura come and stay with us, instead? Mom made us some tasty-"

"Yes, dad. I'm sure."

Naruto watched quietly as his mother stood, her pretty face hidden from beneath her long, red hair as she trudged slowly towards the empty seat at the table, wordlessly collecting the plate and utensils that were meant to be used by him throughout the holiday evening.

Naruto sighed inwardly to himself, reaching to rub the back of his head.

He knew this was going to happen.

He shifted his weight again, praying for his good ol' pervy gramps to give him a quick save.

And, thankfully, without much fail, Jiraiya did.

"Just let him," he chuckled, giving Tsunade's shoulder a hearty slap, "Kid's trying to save his marriage, eh? I know I always am," he paused, "Every day."

Naruto tried to contain his chuckle when he heard Tsuande's heel connect loudly with Jiraiya's shin, but, as always, he failed miserably.

Then, as if lady luck had kissed him on the cheek that very day, Naruto noticed his mom approaching him, a small, but complacent smile on her face. Naruto was tempted to pinch himself, but didn't very much have to once he felt her pulling him into one of her long, motherly hugs.

Naruto held her back gingerly, watching as his family stared lovingly at the endearing scene. He looked away quickly for the sake of his manliness as an overwhelming amount of blush overrode his cheeks. Even Tsunade gave a little smile.

"Grandpa's right for once, hm?" Kushina chuckled, playfully pinching Naruto's left cheek. "You grow up so fast, baby boy."

Naruto flushed hard at the embarrassing nickname, not failing to hear his grandparents' snickering in the background. He crossed his arms tightly against himself when Kushina leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. The audience awed loudly in the background.

They were so gonna get it one of these days.

Pulling away, Kushina turned towards the others, carefully tucking a long strand of her fiery mane behind her ear.

"Help him get dressed a little more.. presentably, would you, Jiraiya?" she smiled, ruffling a batch of her husband's unruly hair. "I'll keep these two company."

Naruto smiled his 2,000-watt smile as he watched his pervy gramps get up, a knowing look on both their faces.

"They're like dumb and dumber," Tsunade muttered as she downed a shot of her sake. "Leave those two morons alone and a new level of idiocy is reached."

Minato and Kushina immediately exploded into a fit of laughter.

oOo

Naruto felt good in the outfit that was picked out for him.

A nice pair of faded jeans that were worn down to the seams at the knees warmed his legs just right. A good match for the orange turtleneck sweater gramps had pulled out from the very back of the closet. Naruto forgot he had it. Used to be his favorite thing ever a few months back.

Damn, Sakura would love this one for sure.

Naruto grimaced, checking himself out in the car's rear-view mirror.

"You look good, kid," Jiraiya grinned, playfully punching his grandson's shoulder. "How long's it been with this Sakura girl?"

"We've been dating for five months now," he shot proudly, a grin marking along his face. "Ever since Junior year started."

There was a pause filled with a devious chuckle Naruto had grown to know all too well. He blushed a beet red at realizing what his grandfather had really meant, quickly turning towards the window. "You're such a perv, gramps!"

"Oh, come on! It's a harmless question, eh? I tell you this stuff all the time!"

"Yeah, well I wish you didn't, you know!" Naruto defended, "You and granny have given me enough nightmares throughout my life!"

Jiraiya laughed. Yep. There were quite a few times in which Naruto had walked in on several nights of lust-filled passion back in the day.

"Good luck, shrimp. Tell me how it went!"

Naruto sighed, taking a deep breath before stepping out of the car and into the snowy streets. He waved goodbye a few times before taking the brave march towards Sakura's heavily-decorated house.

There were lights all around, though it didn't even come close to the mess back home.

There wasn't a spoon Minato hadn't wrapped candy canes around. Naruto wouldn't be surprised if the trash bins had been decorated thoroughly, as well. The Christmas tree had been falling over from all the little trinkets his mom had been placing on it throughout the month. Even his room hadn't been spared.

Yep. Nothing could ever surpass his family's holiday spirit.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto popped in a mint before nervously pressing the chime-bell next to the door. He waited.

Come on, come on. You can do it, Naruto.

oOo

Sakura looked amazing.

So amazing, in fact, that Naruto had to remind himself that drooling would be an unattractive thing to do in front of her, and would more than likely earn him a slap or two across the face.

Sakura was like that. In the bedroom, however, it was a whole 'nother story.

He grinned, nervously rubbing the back of his head. She wore a tight skirt that hugged her hips just enough to leave very little to the imagination. A wooly sweater with a tacky design of a Christmas tree stopped him from admiring her breasts, however. Reindeer antlers stood high on her head, along with an adorable pair of fur boots he couldn't wait to slip off of her that night.

Because, well, Sakura loved her feet massaged, and Naruto loved massaging them. For a reason that he kept very well hidden, of course.

"You made it!" she yelped, pulling him in for a quick hug. Naruto took a deep whiff. She smelled like strawberries. She always did. "You're not wearing anything stupid either!" Naruto smiled big, quite proud of himself. "Come on, we're just about ready to settle down at the table."

Not being able to help himself any longer, Naruto stopped her by the shoulder, twirling her around so she fell smoothly into his arms. Sakura's eyes were so green, same green he'd dreamed of nonstop since the hectic years of grade school. Smiling warmly, he leaned down to plant a soft kiss against her lips. She blushed immediately, regaining her composure as she gently pulled away.

God, Naruto loved it when she was like that. When she wasn't beating him half dead or nagging about several which things that more often than not made no sense to him at all.

He prayed she'd stay that way. Sakura's temper was almost as unpredictable as his grandmother's, just a little less catastrophic, and, at times, a little less convulsive. He bit his lip at the thought, feeling bad for pervy ol' gramps.

"Don't do anything dumb, alright, Naruto?" she whispered, straightening his collar.

Naruto nodded, gulping away whatever nervousness managed to get the better of him. He'd never met her family before. Though, she had already met more than half of his. They loved her. Especially Tsunade. Said she was the type to be able to 'keep him in check with a good punch to the face here and then'. Kushina, however, was never fully convinced. Oh yeah, Naruto would definitely catch the disapproving looks she'd give Sakura whilst he made his girlfriend the sandwich she had the habit of demanding whenever she came over. Naruto deemed his mom would warm up to her, however. Sakura wasn't so bad.

At least, not usually..

Naruto was lead quickly through the guest room and into the large kitchen. The moment his feet landed on the tiled floor, his cool faltered completely. There sat two completely foreign faces. None of which resembled Sakura in the least bit. Naruto was also expecting more.. well, y'know, more people. Sakura nudged him firmly on the shoulder. He gulped, nervously opening his mouth to speak.

"U-uh, hello! Good evening, I'm Naruto Uzumaki," he extended his hand to the old woman who was already fast approaching him, a warm smile on her aged lips. "Merry Christmas!"

"Oh, what a handsome young man you've brought, Sakura," she said, giving Naruto's hand a powerful shake. Lady looked much stronger than she looked, that was for sure. "I'm Chiyo, Sakura's grandmother. Please, make yourself at home, Naruto. We've heard a lot about you."

Naruto heard Sakura chuckling in the background, giving him a little push as Chiyo disappeared into the kitchen. Sakura motioned at the second person Naruto hadn't ever seen before who'd been sitting completely frozen at the table, causing Naruto to wonder if it had even been a real person at all.

"This is Sasori, a cousin of mine," she gritted, the last few words much more strained than the first three. Naruto gave her a curious look. She didn't sound too happy about introducing him.. "He's staying with us for the holidays."

Not being one to be easily intimidated, Naruto quickly offered his hand, a blinding smile on his face. "A pleasure to meet you! I'm Naruto."

A pair of terribly bored, half-lidded eyes slowly met Naruto's own excited ones. Naruto bit his lip a little, feeling that the guy radiated the type of angry aura that said 'don't talk to me, or I'll break you'. He reached his hand further, however, knowing fully well that Sakura was watching his every move.

Nothing.

Instead, he was stared at in a way that sent chills down his spine. Sasori sure looked like one of those guys that contemplated the art of tearing a person's body limb from limb. One of the quiet ones, the smart ones who attained a degree on nearly everything. The fact that the guy was quite unbelievably beautiful didn't help, either.

Naruto's hand faltered by then, deciding that it was time to retire that particular mission for the sake of his own safety.

"He's like that," Sakura sighed, "Don't mind him."

Seconds later, a tall creature with long, yellow hair partially tied up high appeared from the hallway and into the kitchen.

"Sorry ladies! Was washing hands, un!" the creature announced in all loudness, "Water's too cold. Gonna need my man Sasori here to do some plumbing soon, eh, Lady Chiyo?"

Naruto froze on the spot.

If his mother had ever decided to give birth to the sister he'd always wanted, that right there, would definitely be how she would grow up to look like. Naruto was absolutely sure of it.

A pair of baby-blue eyes turned to look at him, outlined heavily by a thick array of stout, black eyelashes. Naruto gulped, noticing that the creature was, indeed (somehow), male.

Naruto's brows rose high, eyes widened in curiosity. He made double-sure by taking a quick peek at the creature's chest, which immediately confirmed his suspicions.

Yep. It was definitely a guy. A smokin' hot babe of a guy.

Sultry curves, the womanly slant at the waist, rosy lips, clear skin, silky blond hair, long sexy legs.. How? Just how, could this be a man?

Naruto smiled nervously, waiting for Sakura to introduce him to the mind-boggling creature, but to his heaving dismay, she didn't, and was already making her way towards the kitchen. He stood there dumbly for a long moment, noticing that the creature was already beginning to look at him as if he'd grown a fourth head. Naruto took a breath, shooting one of his trademarked smiles that were known to worm him out of any tough situation.

"Uh, um.." he mumbled, awkwardly extending his hand towards the other, "I'm Naruto.. Sakura's boyfriend."

"Deidara, un.." the creature let out quietly, accepting the gesture a little stiffly.

The moment their hands linked, Naruto felt a weird feeling shoot up against his spine. Fuck, that guy could easily challenge Sakura on the upper levels of the prettiness scale. Could pass for a knockout of a sister, too.

He gulped down, letting go of the other's hand a little too unwillingly. Naruto could've sworn he caught sight of a strange tattoo inked darkly on the creature's palm.

"So are you two just going to stand there ogling each other? Or are you young men actually going to start helping around here?" Chiyo called out cheerfully from the kitchen, a soft chuckle at the end of her words.

Naruto quickly snapped out of it, giving a clumsy cough against the back of his hand before spinning on his heels, away from those light blue eyes that resembled his own so chillingly close.

No. He wasn't gay. Didn't like dudes. Naruto knew this. He totally did. He never got a boner off of watching Sasuke getting dressed whenever he came over to spend the night. Hell, he didn't even get a boner whenever Sasuke pulled the moves on him each time they were forced to share a bed.

That Deidara guy was just too damned pretty for his own good. That's all it was.

Naruto turned just in time to catch Sakura giving him one of her scary death glares. "Naruto. Turkey. Table. Now."

Naruto was quick to obey, nearly tripping over on one of the kitchen's wooden chairs.

He could still feel those eyes on him, a light blush falling softly against his whiskered cheeks.

oOo

Your so-called girlfriend is texting me again.

Naruto glared at the dimmed screen of his phone from beneath the dinner table, prepping his fingers above the glassy touch-screen as secretly as possible. He swallowed the tuft of apple pie in his mouth, all the while struggling to keep up with the friendly conversation Chiyo kept him a participant in.

"Your career choice, Naruto? College will be here before the two of you know it."

Looking up to shoot a quick smile, Naruto cleared his throat, strategically texting without looking at his phone. "I was thinking Criminal Justice? I dunno, sometimes Fire Science seems a better choice."

No she isnt, bastard! Im at her house rite now!

"Oh! You hear that, Sakura? A fine police officer in the making, or perhaps even a fireman!"

So? She's practically begging me to finger her tomorrow.

Scowling at his phone, Naruto shot a quick glance towards Sakura (who conveniently sat next to him), and noticed that her hands were, indeed, tapping away at her phone from beneath the table. An arrow to the heart, a sack of potatoes to the face. Naruto winced, both hurt and annoyed.

This had been an ongoing issue between them ever since ever, really. Sakura just couldn't get over Sasuke and the fact that Sasuke was.. well, gay. Though, sometimes, Naruto pondered even that. He never saw Sasuke flirting with anyone, really. Well, not including himself.. Because Sasuke was a savage, shameless flirt when it came down to just the two of them alone.

Oh yeah, definitely. Went as far as to give him a very naked surprise one night in the shower which had consequently caused Naruto to scream out loudly like a little girl who'd just seen a monster straight out of her worst nightmares.

Naruto blushed, shaking away the embarrassing thought.

U better not be messing with me, Saskay!

I don't have time for that, moron, and you know it. g2g, Itachi's done with dinner. Mom said to tell yours that we're coming over for New Year's.

Biting his lip, Naruto quickly pocketed his phone, raising his hands back to the table to grab hold of his fork. What he hadn't noticed was that he had been carefully stared at the entire time by the same pair of baby-blue eyes he'd encountered earlier that day.

Deidara. Sitting right in front of him. Eyes like shy pendulums between Naruto and his plate.

Naruto quickly looked away, chewing away at his food as a way to cover for the sudden awkwardness. Another thing that he hadn't noticed was that Sakura had just seen the whole thing go down. She gave Naruto a death glare from the corner of her eye before sharply turning away.

Naruto shifted in his seat, suddenly very uncomfortable. He was the one who was supposed to be pissed, not her.

"So, Sasori, how do you like the casserole?" she smiled cheerfully, dumping a wad of salad onto her plate.

There was a small silence. Sasori slowly looked up towards her, and then at Naruto, and then at his food, saying absolutely nothing. Chiyo filled his cue instead, praising Sakura on her damned casserole. Naruto grimaced, mumbling quietly to himself before finally deciding to really dig in.

Though, as he finally had the chance to taste the turkey on his plate, he found those eyes from before gazing silently at him. Bashfully, nervously.

Naruto chewed quickly, trying not to look back at them.

He failed excellently.

He found himself staring right back at that Deidara creature, and within a matter of seconds, the other finally turned away. Naruto blinked, feeling a flush of blood marking along his cheeks the moment he saw Deidara bite firmly against his lip.

Damn. That was sexy.

Very sexy. That is, before Naruto quickly reminded himself that he was, in all actuality, checking out a man.

Wiggling in his seat like a worm being caught on a stick, Naruto hadn't at all noticed he'd brushed against Deidara's foot from underneath the table amidst a tense conversation with Sakura. He turned to apologize, but was greeted with a small smile from the other. Almost devious, almost knowing. And then, in a moment's stutter, the same foot brushed slowly against his in return.

Naruto gulped, feeling something strange rousing in his stomach at the realization of being flirted with while in the presence of his girlfriend.

"Amazing seasoning, Mrs. Chiyo, un!" Deidara shouted, joyously taking in a mouthful of salmon. Naruto's eyes widened, amazed at the other's adorable social mannerisms and.. face. Guy was like a sunflower that had lit right up. "Pepper's just right!"

"Oh, young man, you're always so kind," Chiyo chuckled.

"My man Sasori here thinks so too, un! Just look at him!" he laughed, nudging the frozen figure of the sole redhead at the table, "Never seen him so happy!"

Naruto hadn't found himself staring that long and hard ever since he'd first seen Sakura in his fifth grade class.

He took a mouthful of turkey, stealing several secretive glances throughout the evening, some of which were returned just as eagerly.

oOo

The bed shook violently. Naruto wouldn't have been surprised if they'd drilled a huge dent into the wall by now.

"Ah! Fuck! Faster!"

Naruto shifted his weight on one arm, wincing as Sakura pulled him further in with her legs. It was a little difficult keeping the pace she had him in with her body latched on so tightly against him. He bit his lip as he hammered away, reaching his hand down between their chaotic fucking to rub fiercely at her clit.

Sakura's eyes shot open, her legs falling back on to the bed.

Naruto grinned, watching as her bright, green eyes rolled slowly into the back of her head. He was good at getting the ladies off; something he was incredibly proud of. Good thing good ol' pervy gramps was around to give away the precious information and various tricks. For a very low price, of course.

He felt her swell beneath his fingers, and with a balls-deep thrust, he felt her convulse and sporadically tighten around him. He clenched his eyes closed, loving the dewy friction. Watching her tenderly, Naruto leaned down to place a small kiss onto her panting lips, but right before their lips could connect, he heard a very faint..

"Sasuke.."

Outraged, Naruto immediately pulled out, yellow brows furrowed in bewilderment.

"What the hell was that!" he hissed sharply, watching as Sakura hid herself quickly within her pink covers.

"What?" she hissed back, albeit a little disoriented. Naruto was like a machine in bed, after all.

"That! You said 'Sasuke'!"

Sakura's eyes narrowed immediately, a look Naruto had grown to know all too well. This time, however, he hadn't cowered like he usually did, and looked straight at her, his own frustration marked blatantly on his face. He could've bet both his balls that his girlfriend had just whispered his best friend's name in the midst of their lovemaking, and Naruto was sure as fuck not at all pleased.

"I.. I didn't!" she snapped back, covering her nude body as if Naruto hadn't ever seen it a hundred times over already. "Quit being an idiot, Naruto!"

Naruto did not relent. "Don't lie to me, Sakura, I heard his name crystal-fucking-clear!"

Indignant, Sakura kicked Naruto off of the bed from underneath her covers, hurriedly slipping right into her nightgown in the flash of a second. Naruto fell with a loud thud before jumping right back up, rubbing at the back of his head.

"What the hell, Saku-!"

"Get out!" she hissed, her pink brows creased in a cluster of fury, "Get out now before I throw you out!"

"You're MY girlfriend! He doesn't even want you, I want you!"

That sure did hit an ultra soft nerve because the last thing Naruto felt was a shoe being thrown right at his head. He recoiled, rubbing tenderly at his temple.

"Sakura, I'm sorr-"

"GET OUT!" she shouted, no longer caring if she woke the entire neighborhood from the shrill of her scream. She immediately stood from her bed, violently pushing Naruto's much taller figure towards the door. The fact that he was only in his boxers hadn't been enough to stop her, either. "Oh, and Merry-fucking-Christmas, you asshole!"

Naruto gaped like a dying fish the moment the door was slammed loudly in his face, the impact of it having shaken the entire house. He blinked, not quite believing what had just happened.

What. The. Fuck. He hadn't done shit this time! Why was he the one receiving the hard end of the stick?

Being the loving boyfriend he was, however, he lifted his hand towards the door, knocking softly on it's timbered surface. He waited. Nothing. He tried again, certain he heard quiet sniffling coming from the other side of the door.

"Sakura? Babe, I'm sorry.. Please open up," he whispered, watching the ground as he plead. Naruto still couldn't believe he was apologizing. For what, anyway? Because his best friend happened to not fawn over his girlfriend? Wow. Seriously. Just, fuck. "It's a little freezing out here, you know.."

"No," was the sharp response.

"What? Sakura, come o-"

"Take the couch. It's all yours."

And with that, the light was turned off from within the room. Naruto sighed, rubbing his face warily. He absolutely hated it when she got like that. Why were girls so freakin' grumpy and overly-complicated? Why was Sakura like that? His mom certainly didn't act like that with his dad. And if she did, he probably deserved it.

Naruto grimaced, making his way down the long flight of stairs. What a great Christmas this was all wrapping up to be.

He smiled bitterly at his own pun.

oOo

It was cold, but Naruto manned it up.

He padded his way to the fridge, getting himself a soda from one of the cupboards before making his way towards the livingroom. He could see the colorful blinking of lights coming from the Christmas tree, but what he could also see was someone already parked and sitting on the sole couch.

He blinked twice, noticing the long, blond hair from before shot up in a very familiar partial pony-tail.

The creature.

Naruto cleared his throat, fearlessly approaching Deidara in his boxer-clad guise. When he was three feet away from the couch, it seemed as though he had gone unnoticed because the guy hadn't flinched at all. Naruto stood on his tiptoes, trying to take a glimpse of what the guy was doing.

Initially, Naruto thought Deidara had been jerking off or something, but when he got a good look, he saw a wad of what seemed to be white clay being rolled around in the guy's hands. That's when Naruto noticed that both of Deidara's palms were tattooed with a strange mouth-like thing, tongue sticking out and all.

Naruto's brow rose curiously, revealing his presence from within the darkness of the livingroom.

"Hey."

The creature jumped lightly in his seat. Naruto watched as Deidara quickly pocketed the clay in a hurried flash, a light cape of red marking against the expanse of ecru-colored cheeks. Naruto gave a sort of crooked smile, sitting himself a few inches away from the blushing creature.

"Hey.."

"What was that?" Naruto asked, clicking his soda open.

"Nothing, un.."

"Sure was something," Naruto gently pressed, taking a short sip of his drink. "Was it clay?"

Deidara gave a careful nod, noticing from the corner of his eye that Naruto was sitting next to him more than half naked. He immediately reverted his gaze, awkwardly shifting in his seat. Deidara had heard the moaning and screaming from earlier, and wasn't daft enough to not know the reason behind the other's frazzled hair and partial nudity. He looked towards the blinking lights of the Christmas tree, cementing his gaze.

Not used to quiet conversations, Naruto scratched awkwardly at the back of his head. "So, uh, you do ceramics, or something?"

"And sculpture, un."

Naruto grinned, getting a hang of it a little more. "So you're an art student! Er, major at the college, right?"

"Yes," the other responded a little stiffly. "Sasori and I are roommates at the dorms, un. Lady Chiyo offered for me to stay here so I wouldn't have to fly back home, un."

Naruto contained a small chuckle at the older boy's obvious (and rather thick) accent. He definitely wasn't from California, or the states. He sat up straight, infinitely curious; as it was always in Naruto's nature to want to know more about different cultures and the like.

"So, what's it like? Art, I mean. I can draw a little, but I hardly ever have the patience to sit down and make stuff, you know?" Naruto went on excitedly, taking a long gulp of his soda. "And Sasori, you're actually friends with that guy?"

Deidara was fidgeting at that point, worming in his seat as if he was being cornered into submission. Which in a way, he was. His English still needed a little improvement, and the fact that Naruto was sitting so close to him didn't help much, either.

"Sasori-danna is very good at what he does, un," Deidara managed, trying his best to hide what he could from behind his hair, "Though we disagree on the philosophy of true art, he's been a great friend to me since I've arrived here, un."

Naruto looked at the other curiously, "Danna?"

Deidara turned at that point, to explain, but the fact that Naruto was about two inches away from his face faltered him heavily. He froze, looking into a pair of eyes so outstandingly colored that it felt as though they gave a magnetism of their own.

Naruto couldn't quite look away, either. He gazed right back into the other's baby-blue eyes, lips parting the more he stared.

Deidara had a fine jaw, feminine and slender just enough. Lips like some kind of porn-star, and hair that looked softer than even Sakura's. He wore a thin hoody with nothing but bare skin underneath its exterior. The body of a luscious, boob-less woman. Tall, lean, soft, and tan.

Naruto swallowed, tempted to touch the forbidden fruit. This gender-bending, fickle, ambiguous, and dreadfully tempting beautiful, fruit.

But, no. He couldn't. Three very good reasons, he told himself.

One, Sakura was right upstairs. Two, he wasn't gay. And three, he might have found himself watching the occasional porn video, but he was definitely not a cheater.

Deidara faltered in his gaze, eventually shying away from the other's dangerous, lust-starred scrutiny. Before looking away completely, however, he noticed the very obvious tent growing in between the other's legs. Deidara blushed, scooting a little on the couch.

"I, uh," he stuttered, "Should get to bed, un. I've gotta help Lady Chiyo clean up in the morning-"

"You know Itachi, don't you?" Naruto said out of nowhere, following the other on the couch without fully realizing it. "All three of you go to the same college, right?"

"Yes, un.." the other said softly, watching with wide, adorable eyes as Naruto's breath brushed gently against his own.

"So you know Sasuke?"

"A little, un, yeah."

Naruto was practically leaning on him now, entrapping him against the arm of the couch. Deidara shifted a little, watching the other speak huskily an inch away from his mouth.

"Can't stand him."

"Same here, un.."

"You were hitting on me back at the dinner table, weren't you?"

"Um, uh..

Deidara looked nervously to the side, biting his lip in a rather delicious manner. Naruto growled quietly in his throat, eyes intent on those smooth, pouty lips.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

And before Naruto could really want to stop himself, his lips had already met flush against the older boy's.

oOo

Naruto's boxers were off faster than the first time he and Sakura had had sex.

Nimble fingers went about the other's thin sweatshirt, balancing his weight atop Deidara's. Their kiss was a knot of crazed sucking and licking, only ever interrupted for the sake of a fresh breath whenever absolutely necessary.

Deidara was taller by at least three inches, older by at least five years, but that hadn't stopped Naruto from immediately taking full control. He bit softly along the other's long neck, leaving small marks that he'd always been good at cleverly shaping into hearts. Deidara gasped from beneath him, biting his lip for the sake of not making too much noise.

They were in the openness of the livingroom, after all. One bad move and they were both forever dead.

A pair of greedy hands fumbled with the older boy's belt, frantic for the thing to finally let up. Deidara frowned from within the fire of their frenetic french kiss, still not completely complacent from the thought of submitting to someone younger (and technically shorter) than him.

Before he could verbally argue, however, Naruto's hand was already underneath his jeans, palm wrapped firmly around his dick. A pair of light-blue eyes widened the moment he felt himself being whipped out from his pants, cock gorged and leaking into the dim clarity of the room.

Deidara sunk into the couch, blushing a beet red as he clenched his eyes closed.

God, this was fucking embarrassing.

"I've never...y'know," Naruto whispered, pulling away momentarily from their kiss. His hand rubbed gently at the cock in his hand, not quite sure if he was in his right mind at that point.

"Liar, un," Deidara shot back, the blood in his face unrelenting as he took a quick peek at his ensnared dick. "I heard you upstairs with your little girlfriend."

Naruto looked away shyly, biting his lip. "No, I mean.. I've never touched a guy before."

Deidara grimaced, trying not to look below. "Well, that's pretty obvious, un."

Taking it as the opportunity to maintain some of his pride and virility, Deidara attempted to switch positions on the couch, desperate to top as he should be. Naruto, however, held him in place as he gave the cock in his hand a long, hard stroke that left the older boy mewling.

"Nuh-uh," Naruto chuckled, slicking his hand with spit before returning to the job at hand (heh, 'at hand'), "No way in hell I'm taking it up the ass."

Deidara immediately reddened again, furiously wriggling from beneath the other's sturdy weight. "And I am? You're younger than me, un! I should be topping!"

Hardly moved by the other's efforts, Naruto rolled his eyes. Deidara was, indeed, taller, but Naruto was much stronger in nearly every way. His years in basketball, football, and several which other sports earned him the toned six-pack Sasuke would kill for, and the mouth-watering biceps Sakura always fawned over during their heats of passion.

Naruto frowned at the thought of Sakura, pumping a little faster against the other's impressive length. Deidara gave a slight moan, his hips bucking desperately towards Naruto's steady rhythm. Naruto smirked at this, rubbing his thumb into the other's leaking slit. The results were to die for.

"A-Ahh..!" the older blond soughed almost femininely, "D-dont do that, un!"

Naruto didn't listen, however. Instead, he leaned down to lock the other's panting lips into a unfaltering kiss, tangling his tongue deep within the other's cool mouth. Thick liquids seeped frantically from Deidara's dick, slicking Naruto's hand just enough to have him sliding up and down the hard pole of meat almost effortlessly. It felt weird, jacking off some guy, but Naruto found it to be not at all terribly disturbing as he had initially thought it would be.

Felt good. Felt nice. He moaned into the kiss, toying with the balls that lied tense from underneath the other's thick, swelling prick. Naruto relished the smooth skin with his fingers, gently massaging the underside of those sensitive, feather-like sacs with many skilled and practiced ministrations. He was a guy, too, after all. He knew all the tricks in the trade, and one thing he was absolutely certain of was that it felt amazing having your balls fumbled and pulled on. Something Sakura never, ever did.

Deidara blushed hard, clenching his eyes impossibly closed to try and ease some of the piling embarrassment away. He felt his peak fast approaching, a knot of mind-numbing pleasure twisting and clenching from within his pelvis. Guy knew how to use his hands, that was for sure.

Deidara fought back into the kiss, rubbing his tongue alongside Naruto's dominating one. His arms reached for the younger boy's neck, tangling them there for some sort of balance. Naruto grinned against him, a finger sliding slowly towards the slit of his dick again. Deidara twitched, feeling as the tip of the other's digit sank itself into the small hole to purposely retain his orgasm.

Naruto pulled away momentarily, breathing loudly. Deidara stared almost dumbly, taking note of the other's impossibly handsome face. A firm jaw, shaped in all of its masculinity followed by an array of curious scars that indented against tan cheeks to give the mischievous impression of whiskers. Deidara frantically caught up on air, his hand finding its place against the left side of Naruto's face.

He hadn't felt this snared since the first time he'd met Sasori (a fruitless pursuit, really). But that was, like, eons ago.

Naruto gave a weak smile, allowing the intimate gesture as he stared back into the same pair of eyes that resembled his own in a sort of chilling manner. Without the other noticing right away, Naruto pressed two of his fingers against the other's sealed opening, prodding for some sort of entrance.

Deidara gasped, squirming from beneath the other's weight. "W-What are you doing, un!"

"Preparing you, what else?" Naruto replied, trying to keep the other from flailing around too much. His aim was wavered, so he had to go around prodding to find the tight pucker again. He blushed, realizing what it was he was actually doing. "Just.. stop moving," he grunted.

Deidara stopped for a moment, seething quietly in sizzling embarrassment as he pouted childishly against Naruto's neck. He clenched his eyes closed, holding on to Naruto's neck for dear life the moment he felt the younger boy's wet fingers begin to breach his uncooperative hole. He bit his lip harshly when he felt a good inch worming its way inside.

Naruto tensed, letting out a long breath at the feeling of velvety flesh he'd never felt before in his entire sixteen years of life. It was different than Sakura's. Much different.

He slid his fingers deeper still until he reached the hilt, letting out a longing groan in response to the way Deidara began to bite down on him. Driven by the insatiable need to fuck, Naruto wiggled his fingers lewdly from deep within, biting Deidara's ear hard enough to make him yelp. Deidara tightened the hold around his neck, whimpering quietly as Naruto began to gain a languid pace with his fingers.

It felt incredibly good. Like dipping your fingers into a bucket of warm butter. Just wetter, softer, and much tighter. Naruto's eyes retreated into their lids from the feeling alone, slow-fucking the other into submission until Deidara was but a mewling pile of limbs from underneath Naruto's weight. He added another finger, stretching the previously tiny hole just enough to have Naruto painfully throbbing and leaking from his own unattended boner.

He wanted to look. To see how it looked like. Gaped around his fingers, that warm flesh.. Naruto shuddered at the thought, his prick giving a wild jolt against his thigh.

Before he could quite literally explode all over the place, Naruto pushed in another finger, gaining a faster pace from far within the other's milking cavity. Desperate for more of the view, Naruto forced Deidara's thighs away with his knee, taking a peek underneath to take a good look at the way his hand was now pounding relentlessly against the other's plush ass. Deidara moaned, biting his lip hard enough for it to sting.

"S-stop looking," he breathed, his cheeks blushing loudly, "I-It's.. w-weird, u-un.."

Naruto grinned, an insidious glint in his eye as he slowly pulled his fingers out, listening closely to the soft, wet pop that came audibly from that fine piece of ass. Deidara winced, boiling in shame.

Without having much of the opportunity to stop him, Deidara watched in complete horror as Naruto slowly began to slither down, blue eyes curious as they stared at every inch of the older boy's body. Deidara squirmed feverishly, but was held in place by the hips the moment Naruto was face to face with an exceedingly erect penis that made its existence shamelessly known in mid-air.

Naruto licked his lips as Deidara turned away immediately, trembling in both anxiousness and arousal. Deidara tried to prepare himself for the incoming blowjob that was sure to get him off on contact, but something entirely different happened, instead.

Deidara's eyes shot open in surprise the moment he felt Naruto tossing his legs against his shoulders, moving him up on the arm of the couch so that he was in an incredibly vulnerable position. Vulnerable as in, his asshole was staring right back into Naruto's fascinated face. Quite possibly gaping, quite possibly twitching with need.

The older boy flinched, looking away far enough to risk snapping his neck. Naruto wasted no time in digging in, burying his face deep into the other's hot and beckoning schism. Deidara gasped loudly at the feeling of Naruto's tongue sliding right into his ass, the wet muscle twirling and twisting itself from far within. The feeling was heaven incarnate, leaving Deidara a heaving mess on the couch as his legs flailed uncontrollably in mid-air. Naruto hadn't wavered in his resolve, absolutely loving the reaction he'd gotten from the forbidden act.

Hungry for more, Naruto lapped greedily against the twitching hole, taking long, hard strides with his tongue all along the other's ass crack. Deidara whimpered helplessly, his eyes retreating back into his skull at the infinitely obscene feeling. Who would've known Naruto, with his innocent-looking exterior and humongous, beryl-blue eyes, could be such a dirty, dirty kink?

"A-Ah.. f-fuck.." Deidara whimpered, shyly pressing his ass flush against Naruto's ravenous mouth, "S-so good, u-un.."

Naruto grinned against him, rubbing his open mouth against the other's demanding hole to create a tuft of delicious friction. He opened his eyes to stare right into Deidara's shying ones from beneath, left brow slanted erotically in a formidably sexy way that left Deidara howling for more.

Naruto was quick to please, toying with the other's hard cock with his free hand as he nipped gently into the pleading ass that beckoned him. Deidara melted right into the couch, into a puddle of twittering honey, feeling as his orgasm neared with each god-given lick and pump Naruto graced his body with.

With a final loud suck to the muscles in his ass, Deidara felt himself explode right onto his own stomach, giving Naruto a rather lewd show that left the younger blond drooling for more. The mess was thick and abundant, a sea of thick semen showering against the lean abdomen of the oldest. Naruto stared in sheer fascination as he dared himself to taste the foreign liquid, his tongue running all along Deidara's trembling skin.

Deidara could take no more. His head fell back onto the couch, long, blond hair splayed down into a river of yellow sunlight. Naruto didn't miss this, having smirked to himself as he quietly slithered his way back up to meet Deidara's lips, sealing them in a dirty, cum-flavored kiss.

Having reached his final limit, Naruto quickly took a firm hold of his own weeping prick, its girth heavy and hot from continuous neglect. Deidara gasped loudly from within the kiss as that very cock pressed securely against his flushing asshole, prying and searching for an entrance.

"Damn, you're so fucking pretty," Naruto whispered, pulling away from the other's lips just enough to speak. "I'm gonna fuck your brains out."

Deidara brightened in embarrassment, brows slanted in anticipation and perpetual arousal. "I'm n-not a girl, un..!" he defended weakly as the other's alarmingly thick prick began to slide right in with much applied force.

Without another moment to spare, Naruto went in for the kill. He buried himself deep into the other's heat in one spear-like thrust, grinding his hips into the other's ass-cheeks hard enough to leave an obvious mark. Deidara held in his scream as he bit sharply unto his tongue, looking up into Naruto's prince-like eyes for some sort of distraction from the sharp sting stemming from his thoroughly-plugged ass. He winced, feeling as Naruto began to slowly pull out.

"So tight.." he grunted, taking a quick glance towards their lewd and saturated fucking. Oh yes, it was tight. Ten times that of Sakura's puss-

"M-move," Deidara begged, averting his eyes from Naruto's charming ones, "F-fuck me. Hard, c-ome on, un.."

More than eager to do as told, Naruto grinned before pulling out of the delicious, milking hole, leaving the head inside just enough to keep the other spread wide open around him. He stared as Deidara's ass hugged firmly against him, pulling him in as it pulsed and clenched against him. Naruto's dick twitched wildly from within, hissing a breath as he slammed himself to the hilt once again.

Deidara whimpered loudly, spreading his legs far enough for Naruto to take a firm hold of his slender waist.

That's when the real fucking began.

A wave of thunderous thrusts and ear-splitting slaps of flesh against flesh immediately deflowered the innocence of the room. Naruto was good at going fast, and he knew it. He held firmly onto Deidara's limp body, bringing him in for more each time their bodies connected as one. Naruto stared, mesmerized, as the older blond swallowed his cock time and time again, the skin on his ass refusing to let go every time Naruto hit that sweet spot that left the older boy garbling for him to go even faster.

Naruto licked his lips, watching the other's face twist into a series of erotic expressions. His favorite, by far, was when the blue in Deidara's eyes disappeared from within his skull, tongue darting out and drooling from the expense of overwhelming pleasure he must have been losing himself in.

That's when Naruto finally did what he wanted to do since the very first time he saw this strange, beautiful creature appearing from the hallway.

He reached down, towards that cascading river of sunflower hair, and pulled the band that held that high-placed ponytail right off. A ray of sunlight fell from its countless tresses, painting the couch with the brightest yellow Naruto hadn't ever seen before.

A curtain of sun. A river of gold. It was absolutely stunning.

Naruto mused quietly in the laurels of it amidst fucking the older boy half to death. His dick engorged to an impossible volume then, watching as that long, yellow mane slipped almost gloriously from the couch to create an ocean of creamy champagne.

Naruto bit his lip. Oh yeah, he was gonna come. A hard one, one that he was certain was gonna leave him seeing an entire legion of stars right after.

"Sh-shit," he gasped, hammering and pillaging into the other's battered hole at a pace that had Naruto's dick hurting from all of the impossible friction. "I-I'm gonna.. c-co-"

And with the solace of release, Naruto splattered his essence deep into Deidara's heat, grating his hips hard enough to really milk every last drop of cum squirting from his aching prick. Deidara was in another dimension by then, his mouth having been parted wide in foreseeable, gratifying pain; baby-blue eyes weak beneath his eyelids. His entire body was flushed a light pink as Naruto gave a last thrust, relishing the damp, soiled furnace of that delicious ass.

Naruto fell weakly against the other's panting figure, gasping loudly for precious air. He was completely spent. Hadn't even the strength to pull out, and his dick, in all of its insatiable need, lied stiff within Deidara's fuckhole as if it hadn't just had the best fucking orgasm of its entire existence.

"Fuck.." Naruto breathed, kissing weakly against the other's flushed cheek. "That.. That was fucking epic."

Last thing Naruto remembered was running his fingers through that long, yellow-wheat plain of a mane, whispering little nothings into Deidara's ear.

Hm? Sakura, you say? What the fuck is a 'Sakura'..?


oOo

Deidara was the first to hear the scandalous news two weeks later.

Sakura and Naruto had finally called it quits.

And though heaven's knew Deidara was practically thawing from excitement, he'd never attained Naruto's phone number or address... That is, until now.

"Sasori-danna, are you sure, un?" he repeated for the thousandth time that Saturday morning, leaving the redhead an irritated mess in the corner of his bed. "Totallyyy sure?"

"Yes."

"Really sure?"

"Yes."

Finally convinced, Deidara rushed towards the mirror, tying his hair up tight in its usual manner. Sasori watched with blank eyes, chin balanced passively against his palm.

"So? How do I look, un?" Deidara beamed, spinning on his heels with a broad, dashing smile plastered all along his face.

"Fine."

Before leaving in a flurry of yellow and black, however, Deidara quickly recoiled to grab hold of the wrapped gift he'd spent the last week working on. Sasori knew fully well of its hidden components, eyes falling into its lidded state as Deidara flashed him the small, decorated box as if it were the biggest secret ever hidden from the history of the earth.

Sasori sighed.

"You think.. You think he'd like it, un..?" the younger of the two asked almost shyly, blue eyes falling adorably towards the box in his hands.

It took very little to have Deidara yelping like a schoolgirl. Sasori shrugged one shoulder, averting his eyes back towards his book. He could see Deidara flailing as if he'd caught fire from the corner of his eye. Sasori had to ease himself from the urge of rolling his eyes.

Several which demented squeals of both laughter and something completely indescribable were thrown into the air before Deidara disappeared out the front door, leaving a nonchalant Sasori turning the page of his book as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.

oOo

The bus-ride to the address Sasori had given him was long, but entirely worth it.

Deidara hadn't seen Naruto since.. since, well, that night. Their night, and he was absolutely pissing his pants for the opportunity to see him again with each painful day that passed by.

Then, finally, as if all of his prayers had been answered, the day had arrived. And that day was today.

He was at the door now, a wild smile on his face as he held firmly on to the present in his arms as if it were to sprout wings and fly away at any second. Taking a deep breath, Deidara chimed the doorbell, and waited.

He squirmed as he stood after he felt it had taken a little too long to get to the door. He calmed his urge to take a peek into the nearby window, deeming that would seem a little too.. creepy on his part.

Then, as he was about to chime the bell one more time, Deidara was met with the face he'd been dying to see again since fourteen days ago.

Except, there was another face right next to it. Of a girl. With blond hair and blue eyes. Hair held high in an identical ponytail almost like his own.

Naked. Sheet around her figure that barely covered anything at all.

Deidara's legs weakened, feeling as though he'd die as Naruto's shocked eyes stared right at the box in his arms. His heart sunk. Sunk right into his stomach, the excitement from before disappearing and churning into a clustered knot of sadness.

It was what he'd feared. A one-night stand. An experiment. A slight urge every straight guy went through when given no other option. When there was no other willing participant when in the throes of uncontrollable horniness. And Deidara, in all of his childish naivety, had been the only option that Christmas Eve.

He felt like a total fool thinking it as any different. Thinking that night held any meaning. Thinking that Naruto, that impossibly handsome Zion of a male specimen, had truly wanted him.

Deidara deflated, eyes falling to the ground in a grief that was still unclear to Naruto. Tears began to brim, but he threatened himself with instant death if he as much as shed a single drop.

The girl next to Naruto popped a bubble before releasing a loud sigh. "I'll be inside."

Naruto still said nothing, gaping at the person he sincerely thought he'd never see again.

"I, uh.. Must have gotten the wrong house, un.." Deidara whispered brokenly, "Sorry.."

Turning slowly, in the most sorrowful manner possible, Deidara prepped his leave, present held limply at his side.

"Wait.."

Trying his absolute best to hide his face from behind his long bangs, Deidara turned once more, eyes intent towards the ground. Naruto reached forward, carefully, for the wrapped box, fingers grazing softly against the warm hands of the older boy.

Deidara flinched at the contact.

"You don't," Naruto faintly said, grabbing hold of the small box. "Thanks.."

Without saying another word, Deidara left swiftly; broken and destroyed.

oOo

Two days later, Deidara hadn't moved if not for taking a piss right down the hall.

Sasori, in all of his unusual need to socialize, had attempted to pull the depressed blond into conversation several which times throughout the day.

He failed each time almost effortlessly.

Sasori sauntered back into his room, finding Deidara in the same position he'd been for the past four hours next to the wall. He gave a soft frown, approaching his sulking roommate.

"This thing was outside the house. Yours."

Sasori watched as Deidara accepted the box as cheerlessly as possible, a forlorn look in his usually hyperactive eyes. Sasori sighed quietly, sitting himself firmly on his bed as he watched his one and only friend open the messily wrapped box.

Deidara carefully read the note that was thrown inside, his eyes giving a scandalous glint of life.

Better late than never. Hope you like what's inside. Merry Christmas, Dei. (: xox

Deidara's expression immediately changed into that of shocked excitement as he tore through the rest of the box, finally pulling out what seemed to be a clay ornament shaped into the figure of bird. He gaped, immediately recognizing it as the present he'd worked so hard to make.. just for Naruto, the entire week before.

Hands trembling, and heart pounding at his throat, Deidara slipped out a small piece of paper hanging from the bird's beak, unrolling it to reveal a string of carefully written words.

His cheeks burned a beet red as he read.

Wanna be my girl? Dinner at 5. My place. I would completely understand if you don't show up.. I hope I get to see you again.

There were several hearts at the end.

Sasori watched blankly without much surprise as Deidara sprang to life and began hyperventilating on the floor, rolling around several which directions in a way that had Sasori's eyes spinning all across the carpet in a manner of seconds.

Moments later, Deidara had switched to jumping all across the room, squealing several garbled absurdities as he began to dance with one of Sasori's prized creations.

Sasori allowed it this time, however. Kid looked like he had just won the billion-dollar lottery or something with that stupid grin marked right across his face.

There was chaotic squawking at one point in time, and clamorous wails of hysterical laughter at the other.

Returning to his book, Sasori rolled his eyes, a ghost of a smile pressed softly along his lips. Deidara's blinding happiness had always been an infectious one.

"Brat."

oOo

Holy fucking pile of sacred worms! O: That was the LONGEST thing I have EVER written.

Took me, like, half a day or something.

Leave me a wonderful comment? This one's a little special to me since I spent SO much time on it. D: Would like to hear what you you guys thought about... everything. o-o

Until next time! xx