Cartoon Mix-ups 6: Pasturuma
The Planet Express Crew, Scruffy, Nibbler, Zapp Brannigan, and Kiff are at Times Circle in New New York. They, along with a big gathering of New New Yorkers, are waiting for the giant ball to drop at the stroke at midnight, ringing in the new year. Some New New Yorkers wear 3013 glasses, hats and/or have nose makers. The PE gang was all shivering in the cold, all but Bender who was drinking a bottle of beer. Nibbler is on a leash, held by Leela. Amy: (Shivering) I-I h-hope the ball drops s-soon so that we can all go home. This weather is f-freezing my butt off!
Leela: (Looking at her watch) Don't worry Amy; two more minutes and then we can all go home and warm up.
Zoidberg: (Shivering, looking at Nibbler) What I wouldn't do to have fur!
Scruffy: I hope this is well worth getting out of janitor duties.
Kiff: Don't worry Amy. It may be cold, but you couldn't be any more beautiful.
Amy: Awwwwww! I love you, Kiff!
Kiff: And I love you, Amy.
Hermes: It was really generous of you to invite us out here.
Zapp: Yeah, well, anything for Leela.
Leela: (Rolls eye) Don't think you inviting us here will make me like you.
Zapp: You may say that now, but I know deep inside you like me.
Farnsworth: Did we all make our New Year's Resolutions?
Fry: (Panics) I didn't know we still do that! I still got to think of one!
Farnsworth: You have ninety seconds!
Fry: (Gasps) Ninety seconds! That's like less then two minutes!
Hermes: Now you only have a minute!
Fry: (Gasps and starts thinking)
Bender: My resolution is to drink more beer.
Leela: That was your last year's resolution!
Bender: So? Do you expect me to get off my shiny metal butt and do more and be nicer towards you humans and animals and make the world a better place? Ha! I don't think so! (Throws now empty beer bottle behind him, burps) Ahhh, my last beer, burp and beer burp of the year!
Farnsworth: Ten more seconds!
Fry: Oh no, 3013, please, don't come yet! I still don't have a resolution yet!
Farnsworth: Here we go!
Zoidberg: Ooh! This is exciting! This is what we froze our butts for!
New New Yorkers: 5, 4, 3, 2... (Suddenly a portal opens up and sucks up PE crew and more).
Bender: My first beer of 3013, NOOOOOOO!
Fry is sleeping in bed with Leela. He then wakes up and leaps out of bed with nothing but his underwear
Fry: (Singing) Good morning U.S.A! I have a feeling that it's going to be a wonderful day (Goes down stairs, sees pictures of Jesus and The Statue of Liberty. Spoken) Cool! The Statue of Liberty and Jesus Christ!
(Continues singing) The sun has a smile on it's face,
Bender: Sun that has a smile on it's face? (Gasps) Oh no, we're on Telepallies!
Fry: (Continues singing) And it's shining a salute on the American race!
Amy slaps reverse peace sign on Fry's back, Farnsworth gives Fry suitcase and Leela gives Fry gun and removes sign.
Fry: Why did you give me a gun, Leela?
Leela: I don't know.
Zoidberg throws keys at Fry. It hits him in the eye.
Fry: (Rubbing now black eye) Ow, Zoidberg!
Zoidberg: Sorry, you were suppose to catch it! How was I suppose to know that it was going to hit your eye?
Fry: (Goes to car, sings again.) Oh boy, it's swell to say...
Bender: (As Roger Smith, sings) Good morning U.S.A!
Fry: (Gasps) Bender, what are you doing here? (Gets angry) Are you stalking me? And where did you get that costume?
Bender: (Scoffs) No! (Laughs) Yes, and it was in the attic.
Fry leaps out, stands in front of CIA sign.
Chorus: Good morning CIA!
Fry: This guy works for the CIA? Awesome!
The PE crew, Nibbler, Zapp and Kiff drops out from portal in the Smiths' living room. The TV is on and it just stroke midnight. Fry still has black eye.
Fry: (Groggily) Oh, my head. (Stands up) Where are we?
Linda: Happy 2012! (Grabs paper, confused) 2012? I must have that wrong, it's the year 3013. (Reads paper) No, it's says 2012, but how is that possible?
Morbo: I blame the humans! They must've made it 2012 from that portal, darn humans!
Linda: (Laughs nervously) Morbo, you are such a riot!
Morbo: Am I?
Linda: Well, happy New Year everyone! (Fansworth turns off TV)
Hermes: 2012? But that can't be! Professor, what's going on? Did the portal take us back in time?
Fansworth: It's possible.
Leela: Can you invent a machine that can take us back to the right time?
Fansworth: I can, but it'll take time.
Leela: Well hurry and build it Professor! We can't be stuck here forever!
Fry: Or we can wait until it's 3013 again. (Gets looks) What? Sure, we may have to wait a few hundred years, but 3013 will come around again eventually. (Still gets awkward looks) Yeah Professor, you better make that machine.
Fansworth: While I make the machine that'll get us back to the correct year, why don't you all go out and do some exploring? It's been years since we been in 2012. But let's do that in the morning since it's late and all of the stores will be closed now.
Fry: Fine by me Professor! And I just realize, the events from Back to the Future never happened yet!
The next morning and after breakfast, they are in main room, except Bender.
Bender: (Comes up from basement in a panic) It's a tragedy! I can't find any beer anywhere in this house! How did this family even live without beer?
Zapp: Kiff and I are going to see if we can find out anything. (Goes to door, opens it and looks at Kiff) Come on, Kiff!
Kiff: Coming! (To Amy) I'll be back and find out what happened!
Amy: I'll be waiting! (Kiff and Zapp leave)
Leela: Well, let's go and do what the Professor says and remind ourselves what life was back in 2012.
Fry: Again, I never been in the year 2012, so this'll be good for me.
Amy: I want to see what fashion was like again way back in 2012 again. (To Leela) You in, Leela?
Leela: Sure! (To Fry, hands him Nibbler's leach) While I'm gone Fry, I want you to walk Nibbler.
Fry: Aw! Why do I have to?
Leela: Because I'll have my hands full with shopping bags.
Fry: Because you're a girl and girls go shopping!
Leela (Gives Fry look) Just don't mess up Fry.
Fry: Will do!
Amy: (Squeals) I can't wait! (The girls rush off)
Zoidberg: Girls, I bet as the years go by, they'll still be a mystery to us.
Hermes: You got that right! I'm going to look at the museums they got here.
Fry: (To Bender) Want to go with me, Bender?
Bender: I want to go to a liquor store. I want to buy all the beer they have.
Fry: Let's do it, but first, let's explore the house. I got to find an icepack since somebody gave me a black eye!
Zoidberg: I said I was sorry! Anyways, I'm going to hospitals and see what kind of medicines they have...and maybe brag how we found the cure for cancer and stuff.
Fry: (Rolls eye) Sure, whatever you say, Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: But I am sorry! (They go separate ways)
Scuffy: I'll stay here as I always do. (Sighs) Scuffy, you need a life.
Fry and Bender are in Stan's office. Fry now has an icepack over black eye. Bender is holding Nibbler's leash. Fry sees Stan's CIA badge.
Fry: Cool, a CIA badge! I'll just put it in my pocket. (Puts down ice pack and put badge in pocket, Nibbler growls) Jeez, Nibbler, relax. I'm just taking this guy's CIA badge is all. (Sees grappling hook) I'll just take this too. (Nibbler growls again. To Bender) Okay Bender, I've seen enough. Nibbler getting antsy (Grabs ice pack again, puts it over black eye.
Bender:(Cheers) Whoo-hoo! Let's blow this pop stand! (They go down. While they're putting their winter gear on, Nibbler growls at Fry)
Fry: Bender, Nibbler is growling at me.
Bender: (Pulls Nibbler's leash) Bad Nibb-whatever you species name is! You, shut your trap! (Nibbler quiets down)
Fry, Nibbler and Bender are out strolling the streets. Nibbler is on ground. Some boys walk pass.
Bender: (To Fry) Watch this. (To kids) Hey kids, I come from the future.
Boy 1: Yeah, right!
Bender: No really, we are!
Boy 2: Oh yeah, what will happen?
Boy 3: Will school no longer exist?
Bender: No, there'll still be school.
Boy 3 (Disappointed) Aw man!
Boy 2: Will kids rule the world?
Boy 1: Will my little sister stop annoying me?
Boy 3: Will we learn how to shoot lasers from our eyes, go invisible and be able to fly?
Bender: No, maybe, no, no and no.
Boy 1: Then what? Will the predictions come true and the world will end as we know it?
Boy 1: What year are you from?
Bender: The beginning of the year 3013.
Boy 2: If you're from the year 3013, a year that comes like way after 2012, then the world won't end!
Bender: Oh, it'll end all right. We were the lucky few who survived by going to a different planet before Earth blew up.
Boy 3: We don't believe you. Tell us what'll really happen.
Bender: Fine! There will be flying cars, movies and TVs in 7D, robots for every house doing your every chore, Ipads 3-19, Barack Obama being re-elected and so much more!
Boy #1: Let's just go guys. This robot is loony. (They go)
Bender: Okay, but when all of those things happen, just remember the robot who told you so, Bender Bending Rodriguez!
Fry: Bender, they're gone now.
Bender: Right! Let's go get some booze! (They go to liquor store)
Bender and Fry see 'Police Line, do not cross' tape everywhere around the store. Police officers were there, talking to the storeowner. The windows had a big gaping hole. Broken glass was on the cement. Police cars line the store.
Fry: Looks like a break-in.
Bender: I don't care about that; I just want my booze!
Fry: Come on; let's investigate! (Bender and Fry go to scene of the crime. They duck under tape)
Police Officer: Whoa, sorry fellas, only police and the victim of the crime can cross the yellow tape. I'm afraid you're have to step back. (Looks at Fry) Ouch son! Did you get a black eye?
Fry: I don't want to talk about it.
Officer: Well, you still can't pass.
Bender: They're no time for that! My booze is at stake here!
Fry: (Looks at manager) What happened?
Police Officer: Son, this is official police business.
Fry: (To officer) I'm an ex-police officer, does that count?
Police Officer: Sorry, unless you have like a badge, you and your robot friend got to stay out of this.
Fry: I got one right here. (Shows him Stan's CIA badge)
Bender: Excuse us for one moment! (To Fry) Fry, what are you doing?! Are you crazy? You're not a CIA agent. I bet you don't even know what CIA stands for.
Fry: Nope, no clue! Relax, just play along.
Bender: Well, I don't know what CIA stands for either and I don't care! Aw, what the heck! Go and pretend you're somebody you're not!
Fry: (To Bender) Thanks! (To store owner) So, can you tell me what happened?
Store owner: (Cries) I've been robbed! All of the beer in my store got stolen!
Fry and Bender gasp.
Bender: This isn't part of the story. This is just a question to all you readers out there. As we near Doomsday, aka the world's possible end on December 21st, I have to ask you one question. Will it end? Will you all know the ending to this story or will you never finish it...or finish it as ghosts? Only time will tell (Laughs evilly.)
Leela: Bender! (Bender stops laughing) Don't scare the readers. We live in the year 3012 almost 3013 for Pete's sake, well we did until we went though that portal. The point is, you readers have nothing to fear. The world is going to be fine. You see, the sun is...
Bender: Blah, blah, blah! Who cares how old the sun is! It's super old, (Lights cigar, puffs smoke) that's all they need to know, old.
Fry: So, Bender wasn't faking? The world might end? (Screams, pees pants)