Nope, I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth. I kinda got lost in a new relationship. Yey!
Anyway, BuckleWinner inspired me to write this tonight and I just HAD to post it! It is set in her Kile and Kasey AU of Knight Rider and I hope it makes you laugh as it did both of us!
Love you all! And here without further ado is...
Kasey shifts uncomfortably in the driver's seat. Her tired legs are shaking. They had been on the road for 3 hrs straight. They still had 45 mins to go.
But...she had to go..like go go...
Kile felt a tension in the cab that he just couldn't understand. They were nearly back to the Knight Estate. Which meant that they would be home soon.
"Kasey, are you okay?"
"No Kyle I have to go." She explained with a blush.
"Go?" Kile asked curiously confused.
"Yeah, Go...like Go, go." Kasey tried to explain but failed miserably.
"We are heading home right?" Kile asked a bit unsure. "Where else do you want to go?"
Kasey couldn't help the brushy red grin that played across her cheeks as she shifted in her seat again. Just talking about this made it ten times worse.
"Ummmm Kile," she stammered then quit. How do you explain to a car that you have to pee?
Kile focused most of his attention on Kasey now. He noticed that her relaxed heart rate had skyrocketed and that her muscles were twitching a lot.
"Kile, ummm..." She tried again. "We need to pull over like soon."
"Why?" Kile asked simply.
Kasey giggled. "I gotta go. I told ya. I gotta go."
Kile was now beginning to get upset. Kasey wanted to get away from him? Why? Did his interior stink? Did he say something offensive?
"I don't understand." Kile frowned as he watched her now constant fidgeting.
Kasey's bladder was on fire now. In only seconds, she knew that she was going to pop now matter what
"Pull over right now!" She practically screamed at the muted VOX.
Kile was traveling about 70 mph on a tight winding road in a dense part of the redwood forest. And though he was in his Dodge Ram body, he hugged each curve with perfect precision. There wasn't another car or even a person anywhere within miles.
He gently slowed down to 20 mph but didn't stop yet. "Are you sure that you want to leave me?" He asked almost crying possessively.
Kasey got more and more excited as he slowed. But he didn't stop. She would have screamed again at him. But that small outburst would probably cause an outburst of its own.
As gently as her shivers would let her speak, she squeaked. "Please Kile...please"
Kile obliged by gently pulling over onto the muddy shoulder of the road. His frown was ever present in the dim dash lighting and the darkened scanner. He was like a hurt puppy with his actions.
Kasey didn't have a second to notice it. She leapt out of Kile's cab at full speed and bolted to the nearest tree, which was about 10 paces away. There, she bent down to do her business.
Confused, Kile watched her run off. Why run? Why?
Then he saw her bend down behind a tree. "Why are you playing Hide-and-Seek now?" He asked really confused. "And if you're going to hide, shouldn't be where I can't see you?"
Kasey left out a relieved sigh as well as a few other things. She was practically in tears; she had to go soo bad. She was so lost in her moment all she heard was "-shouldn't it be where I can't see you?"
Kasey ducked deeper down behind the tree and yelled, "YOU STOP LOOKING RIGHT NOW!"
Kile didn't get it. What in the world was she trying to do? This was a very very poor game of Hide-and-Seek. "It is pretty obvious where you are. I watched you run there."
Kasey pulled up her jeans with a jump. She was now scowling as she trudged back to Kile. "Didn't my mom teach you anything about human modesty?" She grumbled.
What did modesty have to do with Hide-and-Seek?
"Kasey, you confuse me?" Kile pointed out gently. "Why the games? Why now?"
Kasey stopped in front of her massive Dodge Ram best friend and looked him into his pulsing red scanner, "Kile, that was no game. I really had to go."
"You were oddly compelled to hide behind a tree from me?" Kile asked with a sad sigh. "Why?"
Kasey could see now that this wasn't going to be easy. Obviously, Kile wasn't taught about the human need to urinate.
Kasey climbed back into her still warm seat behind Kile's leather wrapped steering wheel. Her warm brown eyes were bright and lilty. She leaned in close and asked, "What do you know about human needs?"
Kile pondered the question in depth. And gave a very KARR-like response, "You need to eat. You need to drink. You need to reproduce."
Kasey busted out laughing! That was a very 80's programming response.
"Am I not right?" Kile asked confused. His base programming had it written just like that.
"Kile, there is more to people than just eating, drinking, and making babies." Kasey chuckled. "But, I have to admit that you are right. Except, you omitted one very very very important thing..."
Kile waited in anticipated silence. What could be just as important as those top three?
Kasey leaned in deep again and whispered, "Everybody poops."