So apparently I had seen that they deleted this story. So, I thought that I might as well revise this to a more suitable taste to the readers. To everyone that reviewed, thank you. I would take the time to reply back and to the other reviewers of my other stories, but I have been busy lately with high school and college. Hopefully, this story can maintain your interest and not cause you to hunt me down for my lack of creativity.

How to Piss off the Akatsuki: 365 Days of Destruction

Ah, the snowflakes falling from the frigid cold sky. Fires casted a warm glow in the heart of the chimney, hot chocolate in the hands of the relaxing people in their reclining chair. It was the holiday that everyone loved, the day where kids get presents from Santa Claus, the day where couples kiss under the mistletoe. The day where Sakura and her partner in crime, Deidara, cause utter destruction in Akatsuki.

Many of the Akatsuki members thought it will be the end of Sakura's boredom, but yet again, she was bored to death. Why not make the use of making this holiday as fun as possible. With the advantages the world has given them, she will plan the best holiday for the Akatsuki in their whole lives. Akatsuki won't know what hit them, literally.


"So, we're doing this again?" Deidara asked with a mischievous glint in his baby blue eyes.

They were in the blonde's room to have the meeting. When Sakura barged in his room with a scroll in her hand, he knew what she was planning with that evil smirk plastered on her face. The fire cackled, spreading its warmth to the freezing duo.

She held a cup of hot chocolate tenderly in her hands, occasionally sipping it. Deidara wore a thermal on with his normal ninja standard pants that were comfortable, yet also kept him warm. His hair was tied normally, his banging blocking the left side of his face.

Sakura wore baggy pajama pants with a black shirt that looked familiarly like Itachi's. Her hair was tied in a loose bun with loose locks of hair framing her face. She sat on the rocking, sofa chair while Deidara sat on the couch. She looked at him with the same glint and grinned evilly.

"Yeah, but where doing it in a different way," she replied while looking in the blazing fire.

"Let me guess- Christmas style right now?" he looked at her with a knowing look.

"Christmas style," she repeated with agreement. Deidara laughed, slouching in a relaxed position. She looked at him in amusement before returning her gaze to the fire.

"Akatsuki is gonna go through hell," Deidara piped and she nodded. They spoke freely without any worry for the walls were soundproof. Why you may ask? It's for the explosions that Deidara creates and now for their meetings. Oh, right indeed, Akatsuki will be going through hell.

"Prepare yourselves, Akatsuki. Now I have a plan for the first thing..." Sakura sat up with a serious look on her face. Deidara listened attentively, all of his focus on what was going to be said. This is going to be good.


"Pein, I got you an early present!" a voice yelled as a figure burst through the said person's office doors.

Pein looked up with an eyebrow raised. Sakura held a wrapped box in green ribbon. It was a relatively small box, so it must have been something small.

"Really- an early one? Why can't you just wait till' Christmas?" Pein questioned with a bored voice. A glare was sent his way.

Sakura huffed, crossing her arms while tapping her foot impatiently, "Be glad that I got you an early present and not the others." Pein nodded, going along with the temperamental girl before taking the gift she handed. He slowly opened the box to reveal..




Same smile.


"Sakura, why the hell would you get me this?" Pein asked with a hint of irritation. She looked at him innocently.

"What do you mean?"

"Why would you get me earrings? Pink, out of all the colors in the world, pink. Really? Pink earrings?"

"What you like earrings and pink is the new black. Be glad, gosh. Stop taking things for granted," she huffed and stormed out 'angrily'. Pein sighed and then Konan burst through the doors.

"Pein, would you like to eat dinner with the rest of..the..uhh..Why do you have pink earrings?"

"Don't fucking ask."

"At least it's pink. Pink is so the new black."


Innocent look.


Glare. "Get out, Konan."

"Gosh, who pissed in your cheerios?" she muttered before walking out. Pein sighed, irritated.


"This is going to be good, yeah!"

'Am I hearing voices?' Konan thought, still drowsy from the noise that awoken her from her slumber.

"Be quiet, baka! We don't want her to hear us."

'Or am I losing my mind?' confusion clouded her expression, now fully awake now. A few minutes ago there was a bit of a rustle, but now everything was silent. Sitting upright, she peered around the dark of her room. Then she met vibrant, blue eyes that stared at her in fear.

'Oh, hell no,' the blue-haired Akatsuki glared at the blonde artist until her world went dark, pain shooting throughout her head. She fell in a heap on her bed, unconscious.

"Did I kill her, un?" Deidara whispered with terror.

"No, but you didn't have to hit her," Sakura replied with disapproval.

"She would have killed me, yeah!"

"I could have just pressed her pressure point."



Sheepish grin.

"Well, let's get on to work!"

Eyelids fluttered open and was met with the sight of her room. Sunlight filtered through the room in a bright, white, light creating a delightful atmosphere. She sat upright suddenly, but then clutched her head in pain. What had happened last night?

She remembered seeing blue eyes, but it couldn't have been Deidara. Nobody EVER comes in her room or else they pay the consequences. She slowly got out of bed and walked past a full-length mirror, only glancing at her appearance.

Grunting at how she looked, she made her way to the bathroom. Abruptly, she froze for a second and dashed to the mirror. Her appearance was normal like all the time she woke up, but that wasn't what had horror plastered on her face. She cupped her face and gasped.

Half of the side of her hair was dyed a bloody red while the other side was neon green. A shrill scream erupted from her throat.

"My hair! What happened to my precious hair! NOOO!"

On the other side of the Akatsuki base resided two people: a blonde and a pink-headed girl. They were sipping a cup of hot chocolate when a scream reverberated through the base. They looked at each other before resuming what they had done.

"Nice weather we're having, yeah?"

"Yes, yes indeed."


"Zetsu, come here please!" Sakura called the plant look-a-like. Said person walked straight up to her.

"Yes, what do you want?" Zetsu asked with confusion. Then a blindfold blocked his vision and he instinctively tried to yank it off, but with no avail.

"Leave it! I want you to model for me!" Sakura smacked away his hands with a huff.

"Why the hell can't you get someone else to model for you?"

"Remember what I promised before if you did me a favor?"

"That you would get me a gardening book."

"So there."

"Fine." he grumbled while crossing his arms. 30 minutes has passed and his patience was wearing thin. "How long is this going to take?"

"Give me a few more seconds...and done!" Sakura said and Zetsu yanked off the blindfold and looked at his appearance in the mirror.

"The fuck?"

"Hey, in my opinion, you're cute."

"Why am I a Christmas tree?

"Kakuzu is too cheap to buy a Christmas tree this year." Before Zetsu took off all the ornaments and Christmas items, Deidara took a picture of him when he had turned around to question her. Then he went off to put a life-sized poster of the picture in the living room, making everyone burst into laughter.


Orochimaru was telling stories to Sakura, Hidan, and Tobi about all the killings and criminal deeds he had done. One particular story made them laugh and Sakura leaned against the snake-sannin.

"Orochimaru, you are so naughty!" she said through her uncontrollable laughter. He chuckled while supporting her with an arm.

"Oh, really? Well, wait until we are alone and you can see how I am really naughty," he suggested with a mischievous glint and everyone froze. Sakura slowly removed herself from him and stared with wide eyes.

"I meant that you are naughty- as in Santa's naughty list!" Sakura replied with slight disgust.

"Fucking pedophile," Hidan muttered and his hand clenched, wanting to kill the snake sannin with his scythe.

"Oro-chan likes Sakura-chan!" Tobi yelled and all of a sudden, Itachi burst through the doors. His sharingan glared at them, tomoes spinning rapidly. They gawked at his entrance, surprised looks on their faces.

"What are you doing here, Itachi?" Sakura questioned after she got rid of her faze.

"Hn," he grunted and glared at the pedo-snake. Orochimaru fearfully stared at him,.

"I only meant to show Sakura the journal entries I kept of all the deeds I had done," he peeped and flinched when the Uchiha towered over him. It lasted for a few minutes, before Itachi regained composure and walked away.

"Carry on," Itachi muttered before returning back to where ever he came from.

"That was fucking freaky," Hidan broke the silence that earned him a whack on the side of his head.


"Sasori-danna, open your present yeah!" Deidara urged while throwing a wrapped box tied with a ribbon at him.

"It's not even Christmas. Can't you wait until another few weeks?" Sasori drawled out in boredom.

"No, it's a present from Sakura and I. We wanted to give it to you early. You better open it or else Sakura is going to be pissed, yeah," Deidara grinned, unfazed at the glare that was sent his way.

"Fine, give to me. I don't have much time, so stop wasting it," Sasori spat out, irritated. He took the gift before tearing the wrappings. He pulled out the box and stared at it with disbelief.

"Why would you buy me this?"

"What? It's like the art you always do and Sakura bought it, okay, not me," the blonde raised his hands, defensively. Sasori's left eye twitched uncontrollably while he resisted strangling the person in front of him.

"Puppets, Deidara, puppets. Not Barbie dolls!"

"You're welcome, Danna!"

"Get back here, Deidara!"


I made a few adjustments, but I couldn't really fix anything. Just a few grammar mistakes I found and put more detail in the story, but that's all. Please review and have a Merry Christmas!