2-22-13:

Sorry it took so long to upload this chapter. I don't know why I didn't upload this when this was sitting abandoned in my laptop. I don't really want to correct any mistakes right now, so bare with me.

"Deidara, no more Christmas pranks, please." Sakura begged while her head hung off the edge of the bed. Deidara looked at her appalled, his mouth agape and his eyes bulging out.

They were in Sakura's room where it had a wide view of the landscape of Rain country. Surprisingly, it was not raining today. Flowers were just starting to bloom and the sun's rays made a beautiful picture when it went through the trees' branches and leaves. Deidara was a bit envious because he had wanted this when they were going to remodel the base, but as usual Sakura got it first.

He was sitting cross-legged on the rug, molding his clay into a little bird. He wore a loose-fitting, black shirt and black sweats with his sandals. His hair was down with just a bit tied up and as usual, his bangs covering his left eye. Sakura just also wore a loose-fitting black shirt that looked very similar to his and looked his size. She wore shorts under and her hair was tied into a messy bun.

"What? You're telling me to stop pranking, yeah?" he looked at her with a crazy look as if she had grown another head that knew what was right.

"First of all, 'pranking' is not a word and who ever said that?" she pointed out the useless information.

"Well, you, yeah. You just said it and who says that pranking is not a word?"

"The dictionary, Dumbass. Haha, get that? D is for Dumbass and your name starts with a D. Huh, no? Okay," Sakura stopped snickering at her own joke when Deidara shot her an evil glare.

"Yeah, and S is for Slut."

"That's low."

"What, un? You were the first one to do it!"

"Yeah, but I'm a girl, but if you're actually a girl in disguise then...that's fine?"

"Just forget it."

"Okay, what I meant is that Christmas already passed and it's no use to doing Christmas pranks when the holiday ended. That's just plain stupid," Sakura reverently said.

"Our whole list is made of Christmas pranks!" Deidara ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "It's going to take us weeks to get ideas."

"Aw, but this is where I come prepared, young grasshopper," Sakura wagged her finger side to side before fishing out a scroll behind her back. Deidara raised an eyebrow in curiosity at the scroll. "This is all the pranks that I listed a year ago."

She unrolled it and it was a long scroll even though it looked small. It would have gone across the room if Deidara wasn't in the path of it. He picked part of it up and read one.

He deadpanned, "You were going to die my hair pink and cut it like yours."

"Okay, that one was before you joined me," she held up her hands in defense.

"Yeah, so why does it say to replace my clay with play-dough a month after I joined you?"

"...Just shut up, Deidara, shut up."


It was pure, pitch black aside from the few torches lighting the hallways. Two black figures dressed in tight, black-fitting clothes carried glue, paint, scissors, and god-knows-what in their hands. Everyone was asleep and everything was quiet.

"Ow, fuck! That hurt, yeah!" Deidara hissed when his foot bumped against the corner of the drawer.

"Stop making so much noise, dimwit! You don't want us to get in caught, do you? Oh wait, maybe you do," Sakura looked at the Akatsuki member sleeping on the bed, only tossing to the side. She let her breath out in relief before turning to the blonde.

"Well, you pushed me and made me go first, un," he hastened to the bathroom along with the pink-haired girl following behind him.

"Just hurry up- we don't have a lot of time."

"Wait, why aren't you helping?"

"Cuz' you're the artist here and you would do a better job."

"I really hate you, you know that? Plus, I'm not your slave."

"I know, but you're my bitch. So, hurry up so you can make me a sandwich later on."

"Fuck you."


Itachi woke up as early as usual, before the sun came up, and made his way to the bathroom. He turned on the light, rubbing his eyes absently. Opening his eyes and waiting for his eyes to adjust to the light, his body stiffened and his eyes were glued to the room.

"What. The. Fuck."

Similar to Itachi, Pein stared at the bathroom in horror, his left eye twitching uncontrollably. His hands clenched and unclenched as he opened his mouth to yell, "Akatsuki, get the fuck up and look in your bathroom, just in case!"

Startled at the sudden voice, each member ran to the bathroom and yells and screams were a response that Pein heard. Everyone made their way to Orochimaru's room, breaking the door down in the process. Pedo- I mean, Orochimaru was jumping around his bathroom while kissing the wallpaper.

"What is the meaning of this?" Pein demanded. The wallpaper showed Orochimaru himself and Sasuke in various -ahem- provocative positions.

"Leader-sama, I didn't do this, but I thank them whoever did this," that was all the Leader got and soon realization dawned on him.

"Sakura! Deidara!"

Meanwhile, the duo were sitting on the bed with a stack of cards, a few cards in their hands.

"You got a two?" Sakura asked with a poker face.

"No, go fish, un," Deidara said.

"No, why the fuck would I go fish?"

"No, Go. FISH."

"Why?"

"Never mind, yeah."


Itachi was having his coughing fits again, but Sakura had healed the disease for him a year ago when she became, or more liked forced to be, an Akatsuki member. Maybe, he thought, it was just a seasonal virus. It was spring now and he did get it easily. Not paying attention to others, he continued to cough and sneeze in numerous tissues.

Sakura quietly came behind him with her hands behind her back. She tapped him on his shoulder and got ready. Itachi turned around, but wasn't quick enough for the pink-haired vixen. A gray weight ball collided with his head, rendering him unconscious.

"Fatality," Deidara stated in his deepest voice before snickering.

"Fatality, indeed," Sakura agreed before walking away.


It was one of those days. Yes, those days that the duo didn't think the other members would hear. Their grunts and moans were heard quite clearly from the office, yet no one would question them about it. They were getting it on.

Deidara listened absently when their labored breathing became faster when he opened his mouth, in his best Mortal Combat voice, and yelled, "FINISH HER!"

A scream heard later and a shuffle of clothes, Deidara ran to his room before either one of them could catch them. From the action, every member stuck their heads out just in time to see Pein and Konan coming out looking a bit tousled, to say the least.

"It's not what you're thinking," Pein tried to say, but was interrupted by Hidan who erupted in laughter.

"Damn, finally someone got laid and said something. We heard you all the time and don't look at me like that. "Oh, Pein, faster!" and you would say, "So tight!"

The duo blushed a fiery shade of red before slamming the door behind them.

"Score," Sakura gave a high-five to Deidara later.


Itachi woke up again to another bright sunny day. Wait, bright sunny day? He looked to his window to confirm that, yes, the sun was out. Oh, this is not going to be good if the sun is out. Itachi had finally taken out the wallpaper from his bathroom including a few vomiting, Amaterasu, and going blind a bit more.

He did not want to see his brother doing that with Orochimaru every time he went into his bathroom. Itachi went to his bathroom without opening his eyes and started brushing his teeth and washing his face. After patting his face dry, he finally looked at his reflection.

No, god no. This can't be happening! Itachi grabbed a fistful of his now shoulder-cropped hair that was the brightest color of pink. His body trembled from barely contained anger, killing intent rolling off him in waves.

"DAMN IT!"

Kisame, barging in with a grin on his face, stopped and stared at the Uchiha. He then whistled and nodded, "Hey, you look pretty hot with pink hair. Almost like Pinky's twin!"

"Get out before I make you as sushi."

"Gosh, can't take a joke, Mr. I-have-a-stick-shoved-up-my-little-vagina."

"Go!"


"See, that perfectly good prank meant for me is used for someone else, yeah."

"I can still do it to you, Deidara."

"You wouldn't."

"You wanna try me?"

"No, no."

"That's what I thought. Now go make me a sandwich."


"Okay, always water them 3 times a day. Give them enough sunlight. Change the soil and put more fertilizer," Zetsu droned on while Sakura nodded. "If you don't take care of them properly, I will eat all you and keep your skeleton as a prize."

Yes, yes. Now go before you're late!" she pushed him before he sent a look of distrust, sinking in the floor.

"Deidara, let's see who can stay up for a whole week playing Pokemon!"

"You're on, un!"

A week later...

"Sakura, what the fuck!"

"Hehe, I forgot."

"What the hell were you doing while I was go on?"

"With Deidara and look this one looks okay-wait, never mind."

"Sakura, run."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"Run, bitch, run."


Sakura struggled against Orochimaru who was grinning above her. They were having a friendly, as friendly as it gets fighting with Orochimaru, spar. Sakura felt out of shape so she asked the snake-sannin to spar with her. At this moment, you can guess who won.

"Okay, you win. I lose, I get it," Sakura glared, but then her eyes glinted. "Okay, this is a good position to hold someone down. Move your arm here.. yeah, then move your leg here.. Your other leg too.. Okay, you got it."

"Will this actually hold someone down?"

"Yes, now wait. RAPE! PEDOPHILE! Sexual Assault!"

"Sakura-san, why are you yelling that out?"

"Get the fuck off her, you fucking pedo-snake!" Hidan yelled. Orochimaru looked down to see their position. He pinned both of Sakura's arms above her head while straddling her hips. His free hand was palming her flat stomach that her shirt had bunched up.

"Wait, you got it wrong!"

"What are you doing to, pretty Sakura-chan?" Tobi flailed his arms and every member came. Pein tapped his foot impatiently while Itachi looked like he was going to kill the sannin.

"Itachi," Pein called.

"Yes, Leader-sama?" Itachi answered.

"Punish him."

"Gladly."

"Wait, wait? Hold on, this is not what you think!"

A/N:

I was going to keep going, but I want to make this a bit more longer. So hope you like it!

Impressed by Bei Maejor

Statue by Lil Eddie