TITLE: THIS LIFETIME
PAIRING: Kanda/Allen or Allen/Kanda – You choose
THEME AND DATE: PART II — MESSENGER
WARNING: Boy/Boy; Not strictly to Canon
BETA READER: RayneLover101 – I want to give special thanks to my friend, RayneLover101, who encouraged me with my writing.
PART II – YULLEN WEEK 2012 - Is Kanda ready to go back to the Black Order? He is when a message is sent to him through Timcanpy about Allen's in critical condition – but how did this happen? The truth comes out from the one Allen protected and saved.
DISCLAIMER: D. Gray-man and characters belong to Katsura Hoshino's: Allen Walker (Bean Sprout), Kanda Yu; Setting from Vols.2, 20, 21
A/N: Yullen Week 2012 – Day 2 ~ MESSENGER ~ Happy Birthday Kanda and Allen. This was written before Vols. 22 & 23 came out. I'm not sure if I'll do a sequel to this story, but it is in the back of my mind.
"Allen, I have been given orders from Inspector Rouvelier to send you and Link out into the field to open three more Gates. I'm hoping you feel you're up to the task," Chief Komui says, in his official voice. He's still concerned about Allen's depressed state.
"Yes, of course Komui. I'm always ready to do what's needed of me. When do we leave?" Allen asks, confident he'll be able to complete his mission.
"Link, if it's okay, both of you should leave tonight. We've had Finders in trouble and we need those Gates established for their safety as soon as possible."
"However, there's one fine detail. I have a direct order from Rouvelier that Allen must have the CROW Binding Spell on his arms while he's traveling outside of headquarters. The binding can only be removed to make the Gates, and when Allen has return to headquarters," Komui says, looking directly at Link.
Turning to Allen, as always out of courtesy, Komui asks, "Do you have any questions Allen?"
"No sir," Allen replies, knowing he has to do this for his fellow Exorcist's and Finder's sake.
"Good. I'll see you, and Link when you get back," Komui says, and hands Link the mission packet.
Allen and Link turn and walk out of Chief Komui's office. Allen's heart still hasn't started mending in regards to Kanda. In fact, he questions himself about what he has worth living for. He is managing to keep the fourteenth under control, but what sort of life would he be able to have without Kanda in it with him?
'Who do I have? No one — I have no one special in my life to come back to when I go out on a mission. Link – he doesn't count.' Allen sighs, and gets into the coach. Link sits across from Allen, lending forward he binds Allen's arms with the CROW Binding Spell.
Opening the three Gates had turned out to be exhausting for Allen, but he had forged ahead completing the task for his fellow cohort's safety.
Rain is coming down in torrents, lightening flashes across the smoky gray sky, the air is heavy and thick to breathe in the enclosed stage coach carrying Allen and Link. In Allen's weariness, his thoughts drift in and out of consciousness.
His eyes are heavy from lack of sleep and energy. He lingers on the brink of awareness, pellets of rain strike the roof, wheels churning on the hard wet surface as the sound of the horse's hooves echo in his head. He's in between the dream world and the real world.
Sliding into the dream world … I feel the heaviness of his body pressed against my own, feeling the sharp, sleek stab of the katana sword entering my body. The face above me is crazed with anger and confusion, the face I had grown to admirer and care about as my lover and comrade.
The pressure changes to him pressing me against a cold, damp wall, he's drenched in sweat and blood. My arms and hands pinned, I feel his anger and confusion intertwine with my own, his lips crush mine, his mouth and tongue claim mine, and now … he's claimed my soul.
The jolting of the coach awakens Allen to the real world, one of death and destruction, one of anger and confusion like his dream world. He sits with the CROW spell still restraining his arms to prevent him from creating trouble the Black Order is afraid of him doing.
Link sits on the bench across from him nodding off from the swaging of the coach. 'It's been a long two weeks all three Gates are opened as was ordered. I do this for my comrades in arms, for their protection, their safety. Now, we are on our way to a Gate that will take me back to headquarters, which I'm ready for, to cocoon myself once again from the pain inside of me.'
Lightning flashes inside the coach, giving everything an eerie appearance. 'Out the window everything's a blur going by, the same as my life has been. But clearly I see, in the gray blur, Kanda's face smiling at me, holding Alma, saying my name … the only time he's called me by my name – Allen Walker.'
'What we might have had together was over that day, the day he discovered Alma was still alive. Kanda had found the person he's been searching for, and I had helped him escape with that person – Alma. I didn't realize what we had shared until Kanda was no longer here by my side. I still struggle to accept he'll never be back – I'm alone now.' Allen's sadness and despair feels overwhelming.
'It had been painful losing Mana, even Master Cross, who made my life a living hell. Now I've lost someone again, someone I love – Kanda. The confusion inside of me still wants to know why I am here. If I end my life, I end the pain of Mana, Master, Kanda and the fourteenth. No one will miss me, I am a threat to all – I'll gladly sacrifice myself for another's life,' Allen ponders, still looking out into the rain.
"Allen, are you alright?" Link asks, now awake staring at Allen.
"I'm fine Link … really," Allen says, looking down at the restraints binding him, his heart aching, and a feeling of heaviness in his chest.
"You don't look it. You were having nightmares earlier, I heard your pain," Link says, wondering if the nightmares had anything to do with Kanda or the fourteenth – or maybe both.
"Did I say anything to incriminate myself?" Allen asks smiling, almost to the point of teasing him.
"No" Link states, as he takes in Allen's demeanor.
"Too bad, if I did my nightmares would finally end." A sad look shadows Allen's face as he looks out the window again.
"Allen …" Link starts to say, but is interrupted by the sounds of fighting – Akuma.
The coach comes to a halt. Not far from them someone's fighting a Level 2 Akuma. They could see it in the air firing at its target below. Then a familiar silhouette against the gray sky appears, there's no mistaking Krory in flight – attacking the Level 2.
"Stay here, Allen," Link commands.
"Link release me so I can help fight, I'm helpless like this!" Allen retorts, in a sharp tone.
"No. I'm not to release you until we return to headquarters, those are my orders."
"Damn your orders, my friend's in danger, I need to help him!" Allen yells angrily.
It didn't matter now the grotesque fiend is on top of them with Krory and Lavi on its tail. With no time for Link to do anything else, he jumps out of the coach to fight. Allen looks on from the doorway of the coach, arms bound and helpless.
Krory and Lavi had done an excellent job of maiming the vile creature, so Link should be able to weaken it further to kill it. As heavy as Allen's body feels, he leaves the coach trying to break the spell binding him. He couldn't invoke his Crown Clown, the restrains are too strong.
Link, Lavi and Krory attack the disfigure abnormality again and again, little by little defeating it. They manage to dodge the entire lethal arsenal the Level 2 carries or so they thought. Link lost his footing and could not regain it quickly enough when Allen saw the monstrosity about to destroy him. Allen, without giving any thought to himself, with all his strength threw himself in front of Link to protect him.
Piercing bullets rivet Allen's flailing body. 'The dream world is taking over my mind again, I see Kanda's beautiful face smiling at me, I feel his warm lips crushing down on my own and the heat of our bodies as we become one. Then, I see a single tear stream down my lover's face,' as darkness envelops Allen.
With the freakish Level 2 destroyed, the three gather around Allen's limp body. Link presses his ear to Allen's heart and hears a faint beating. Without a word, Link picks Allen up, places him in the coach, and stampedes to the Gate they were original heading for.
On arrival, Link pulls Allen's body from the coach, cradles him in his arms, and rushes into the Gate Way. All who are there quickly realizes the urgency of the matter at hand, and grants access immediately, calling ahead to Komui the emergency coming through.
Waiting on the other side is a stretcher for Allen. Link gently places his frail body upon it, quickly he falls into step with Komui explaining the situation to him. Komui's frown deepens with each detail coming from Link's mouth. When they reach the operating room, Komui quickly turns to Link.
"Stay here. I'll inform you of his condition as soon as I finish operating," Komui states, firmly, and directly at Link.
Lavi and Krory show up an hour later. Link is waiting to hear word on Allen's condition, still wearing his blood stain uniform where he carried Allen to and from the stage coach.
"Why wouldn't you release Allen from his restrains? He was helpless without his Innocence to invoke," Lavi lashes out at Link.
"And don't give me it was your damn orders!" Lavi shouts, on the verge of tears.
"My best friend is on that operating table because of your strict discipline to follow rules! Well damn it, there are times when rules need to be bent, and that was one of those times," Lavi explodes, in Link's face.
Link had nothing to say, what could he say? He deserves everything Lavi's yelling at him about – he's right, in hind sight he should have bent the rules to release Allen.
If he had, Allen wouldn't be fighting for his life in there right now. Then a frighten thought crosses Link's mind – 'Allen has never been sure if he could go on in this world without Kanda. What if he decides it's not worth living? What if he gives up on life and falls prey to death?'
Komui comes out of the operating room, his head hanging to his chest. The look on his face doesn't look like good news.
"Allen … how is he?" Link asks, slowly.
"He has gone into a coma, we can only wait and see how long before he comes out of it.
Allen is deep within his coma, but something inside of him cries out to Kanda – trying to reach his lover. He needs him – will he hear him?
I had to let him go … pain … silver objects pellet Sprout's body … he's falling backwards … blood everywhere … Kanda … I need you … cold … darkness … loneliness … fear … nothingness … quiet … Bean Sprout … where are you … nothing … emptiness …
The past few nights Kanda has had strange dreams about Allen, he's in trouble — he needs Kanda. In his dreams he never found out what type of trouble Allen's in, but it's a dark place. 'Heck, Bean Sprout is always getting himself into some kind of trouble.' But this dream felt different —it felt too real and grave.'
Kanda's feeling stronger now — both physically and mentally. He's ready to head back to theOrder to see Allen. He needs to see him; they have much to talk about.
'This is my lifetime now, and I want Bean Sprout to share what we have left of it together — he's a part of me — part of my strength — part of who I have become. He's not going to escape me, I've search for years and there he was —right before my eyes. Somehow, I'll get him to stay with me … even if I have to —'
'What is that flapping sound? It's coming closer. It sounds almost like—it is—Timcanpy! Bean Sprout must be nearby! Tim is always with Bean Sprout.'
As the golden golem comes closer, something is off about the situation.
"Bean Sprout's not with you, is he Tim?"
The golem communicates with Kanda. He has a projection for Kanda to see.
"Alright Tim … come over here out of the light so I can see it better."
Timcanpy starts his projection for Kanda to see. 'Humph, it's Komui. Maybe something has happened to Bean Sprout, and he is in trouble somewhere.'
"Hopefully it is you, Kanda, seeing this projection. I knew no other way to get a message out to you. It's only natural that Timcanpy would have also been privy to your whereabouts."
"Well now Komui, aren't you just the smart one," Kanda mutters. 'So Bean Sprout kept my location a secret. I wouldn't expect any less from him.'
"I'm sorry to interrupt your time with Alma. Much has happened since you have been gone. I don't know for sure how you feel about Allen —if you still hate and despise him. But, if you could put that aside … I feel he needs you right now. I don't want to go into details on the golem. All I can say is Allen has been seriously injured during his last mission."
"I know I'm asking a lot from you, but when or if you come to headquarters, I will fill you in on the details. I can only emphasize how important this is to Allen, and all of us at headquarters. Please give my apologies to Alma for the possible interruption this may cause."
End of projection. There's a lump in Kanda's throat. "You won't tell me either, will you Tim?" Kanda says, feeling Allen's injuries may be serious.
Allen's injuries are serious. Komui has him staying in a private room, not in the large infirmary area. He comes into his room to check Allen's vital signs. Sitting down on the bed, he takes Allen's hand into both of his.
"Allen, please come back to us, everyone misses you," Komui whispers, to Allen.
Reever softly knocks on the door interrupting. Komui nods he'd be right out. Squeezing Allen's hand he says, "I'll be back later."
Coming out of Allen's room, he quietly closes the door behind him, and leans against it. "What is it Reever?"
"Kanda's downstairs waiting to see you."
"Yes, I've been hoping he'd come. Please bring him to my office, would you Reever?" Komui answers quietly, relieved Kanda came.
Reever walks back to where Kanda is waiting. 'I wonder if Kanda's back at the Order because of Allen's condition. Komui must have sent for him. Interesting Kanda would agree to come since he's always hated Allen, and they can't be in the same room without fighting.'
When Kanda enters Komui's office he sees him sitting at his desk with his head down in his hands. Kanda stands in front of his desk.
"Tell me what's happened to Bean Sprout," Kanda states firmly, readying himself for the worst.
Komui lifts his head and tries to smile, "Thank you for coming Kanda. I'm in your debt."
"I'm here for Bean Sprout — where is he?" Kanda's asks, impatiently.
"Please let me explain things before I take you to him. Please sit." Komui hopes Kanda will stay calm while he explains what happened. Kanda sits down on the sofa, crosses his leg and then crosses his arms over his chest.
"How have Alma and you been doing?"
"Alma's dead." Kanda says, coming right to the point. He didn't want to talk about it; he just wants to see Allen.
"I'm sorry to hear that — this must be a very difficult time for you," Komui says, with a surprise look on his face, but doesn't push the matter any further.
"I'm fine I want to hear what's happened to Bean Sprout." Making it perfectly clear as to why he's here.
"Yes, of course. "
Komui proceeds telling everything that's been going on with Allen since Kanda left, and about the mission accident, "… and now Allen is still in a coma."
During the conversation Kanda perked up when it's mentioned that Allen's in love with him, a thrill shot through him.
"I want to see him," Kanda says, hoping he's not too late.
"Before we do Kanda, I'd like to show you something."
"Alright, but I want to see him soon." Kanda's getting more impatient; he wants to see Allen.
Komui leads the way to Kanda's room, explaining as they walk along. Opening the door, Kanda enters, he's not prepared for what he sees — 'it's like walking into my old room! How did Bean Sprout find all my stuff in the rumble at the old headquarters?'
His eye caught Mugen leaning against the wall. He walks over, sits down on the bed, and picks up Mugen. Warmth flows through him at the familiar feel of his sword.
"Frequently I would find Allen asleep on the bed holding Mugen close to him, hugging it for dear life. He told me it made him feel you were nearby," Komui says, affectionately.
Hearing this Kanda felt a tug at his heart. "Take me to him," Kanda orders.
They enter Allen's room. Link is sitting in the chair just outside the curtain. "So Link, are you sitting there thinking Allen's going to run away?" Kanda sneers.
Link looks up with a forlorn look on his face. Never has Kanda seen this look on Link's face, a chill runs through him.
Komui pulls the privacy curtain back, and he turns from Link and looks at Allen. Pain flashes across Kanda's face, and his body feels the energy draining from him – Allen looks cadaverous. He's lost too much weight, and it shows by his gauntness and the dark hallows of his eyes. Bandages wrap around his thin frail body as well as part of his head, his color is pale — deathlike.
Shocked by the sight before him, Kanda chokes on his words, "How long has he been like this?"
"Five weeks," Komui says, quietly.
"Komui … will … he die?" Kanda asks, his voice quivering.
"I honestly don't know," Komui sadly says.
Even the strong willed Kanda could not hold back the tears starting down his face. Nor could he stop his heart from breaking into a million pieces. 'Just the thought … the possibility … Bean Sprout could die … is unbearable.'
Kanda finally spoke, not looking at either of them, "Komui, Link, would you mind leaving so we could be alone?"
"Certainly, if you need anything just ask."
Komui and Link quietly leave the room. Komui closes the door behind him, and leans his back against it, closing his eyes. "Please God – let Kanda be able to bring Allen back to us," Komui prays.
Inside, Kanda changes into comfortable clothes he took out of the drawers Allen had filled. He walks over to the bed and quietly he climbs in next to Allen's bony body and gathers him into his arms. Yes it feels so right, so good to hold him again.
He squeezes him tightly, "Damn you Allen Walker, don't you dare die on me! Not now that I've found you. I love you, Allen Walker," Kanda whispers, so only Allen could hear it.
Komui and Link stop in early the next morning to check on Allen. There in the bed Kanda sleeps holding Allen in his arms. On his face you could see where tears had been shed. Komui wasn't going to disturb them and instead he smiles and closes the door behind him quietly.
Kanda wakes up with Allen still in his arms. 'No … not this again, I couldn't save Alma, I have to save you Bean Sprout! I can't bear to lose you. I know now who I want to spend my life with — it's you.' Kanda nuzzles Allen's white hair and holds a kiss on top of his head.
Komui's finishing up his morning rounds with Allen when Kanda walks in after taking a shower. Link's sitting in the same chair.
"Did you get any rest last night Kanda?"
"Well, Allen is still stable. No major changes," Komui says.
Standing, looking down at Allen, Kanda asks, "How do I reach him Komui?"
Komui sees concern on the older teen's face, standing by his side, Komui softly replies, "Just talk to him as if he's here talking to you. Tell him how you feel Kanda, touch him and hold him, that's what he needs. But, he needs all this to come from you. He needs to hear your voice to beckon him back."
With that Komui turns, pulls the curtain shut and leaves the room.
Not concerned that Link's still in the room, Kanda climbs back in bed and straddles Allen. Looking down at his cold pale face, with both hands he grips Allen's night shirt tugging gently shaking him. In a low mournful voice, "Come back to me you idiot … damnit Bean Sprout … come back to me."
Kanda's wretched face lowers to Allen's as he pulls on Allen's night shirt to bring him closer, pressing his warm mobile lips to Allen's cool un-responding ones. Gathering him in his arms Kanda buries his face in soft white hair, inhaling his scent.
When nightfall came, Kanda leaves Allen's room. This is his favorite time to practice outside. Standing tall, he inhales the cool, fresh air deep into his lungs. This helps him deal with the emotions he's feeling.
For the first time in his life, he admits he's frightened — afraid he could lose Bean Sprout. Kanda could sense, rather than see, another's presents nearby.
"I know that's you Link. You might as well come out." Link shows himself. "So what the hell can I do for you Link?" Kanda asks, stiffly.
"I hope this isn't about any formal business from the Order, because I could care less about them and what they want or think," Kanda glares, at Link.
"No, I wanted to talk to you alone, without anyone else around," Link says, knowing the risk he's taking with Kanda's anger.
"Then go ahead … make it quick," Kanda says, flatly.
"I know Komui explained about the mission and how Allen sustained his injuries. What he neglected to tell you is … well …" Link falters.
"Well, fuckin' spit it out Link," Kanda snarls, angrily.
Link stood straight, pulling his shoulders back, taking a deep breath, "it happened because of me."
Kanda could feel the bristling welling up inside, his eyes narrowing as he looks at Link. "What do you mean because of you? Explain yourself."
Link plows on in his explanation, "Allen wanted me to release him from the CROW restrains, so he could help his friends, and I refused. My orders were not to release him until he's inside headquarters."
"The reason Allen was hit by the Level 2 bullets … well … well was …"
"Well what! Why the fuck was Bean Sprout hit Link!" Fiery rage emanates off Kanda.
"It's because he protected me from those bullets!" Link yells at Kanda, feeling relieved to get this off his chest.
It's the first time Link sees Kanda's flaming red face, his menacing glare on him, and his body shaking in rage. POW! Kanda's fist strikes Link in the jaw knocking him to the ground. Link holds and rubs his jaw looking up at Kanda.
"I deserve that," Link says, knowing this could happen.
"You're damn right you deserved it! Link … if Bean Sprout dies … I'm coming after you … Do - You - Understand – What - I'm - Saying?" Kanda slowly growls, low and deep in his throat.
Link nods at Kanda, stands up and looks Kanda in the eye, "Yes I do understand Kanda. I've grown overly fond of Allen and it's tearing my heart apart watching him this way." Lowering his head, he turns and walks away.
When Link's out of site and Kanda no longer feels his presents, he falls to his knees feeling like he could vomit, energy saps from his limbs. 'Bean Sprout, it feels like a huge hole is in my chest — I want you back.' Kanda fights the tears burning in his eyes until finally he surrenders to the crushing emotions in his body.
For the past two weeks, this has been Kanda's life, talking and reading to Bean Sprout, sometimes pleading and begging him to come back to him. Link never came back to the room to stand watch over Allen, he let the two of them have what time they might have left together alone.
"Allen … Bean Sprout … Damn you … Come back to me … Allen Walker! … Bean Sprout don't you dare die" '… hmm … sounds like Kanda's voice. Where am I? I feel like I'm floating on air. Lately, I've been hearing voices. But Kanda's … his is constantly there talking to me. The idiot still keeps calling me Bean Sprout … it can't be Kanda — he's with Alma … he's in Southern Italy … what's happening to me? Did the fourteenth do this to me? Hmm … I don't sense him right now … maybe he's gone.
Maybe I've been sleeping. Was I on a mission? Yes, I was — with Link. Kory and Lavi were fighting a Level 2. How did I get hurt? Ah, I protected Link. Is Link okay, he must be I've heard his voice. Thank goodness I saved him.
Then am I dreaming? I can't seem to wake myself up. That's right, I had lost Kanda and I have no one to live for. Have I given up on life? I feel like I'm in a fog. If this fog would clear, I could see things better.'
"Well, how is he doing? Is he getting any better?" Kanda asks Komui.
"The head wound has healed and his Innocence seems to be fine now. The bullet wounds are taking a little longer, but with the entire trauma his body's gone through its normal recovery. He's gained some weight back, but Kanda even if Allen wakes up he's got a long recovery ahead of him. Are you ready to take on such a responsibility?"
"What a stupid thing to ask. When Bean Sprout wakes up I'm going to be here with him. I know he'll have a long recovery. And yes, I will take responsibility for him," Kanda angrily shot back at Komui for even thinking he'd not be here for the Sprout.
"Kanda, I appreciate you helping to bring him back to us, but we all know how you have despised him in the past. Have your feelings changed for Allen?"
"You're more of a fuckin' moron then I thought. Of course I don't despise him. He was my lover for God's sake! Komui, not that you need to know, but I've worked out my feelings and know exactly how I feel about Allen," Kanda retorts, angrily.
"And if I may be so bold to ask, what are those feelings?" Komui knew how Kanda felt, but he wants Kanda to admit his feelings and actually say them out loud.
Kanda gave Komui a quick angry glare, and then looks down at Bean Sprout's quiet frail body lying in bed. It's as if he was hit in his stomach, the anger disperses as Kanda quietly says, "Shit … I love him, as if you didn't already know."
"Yes, I figured as much, but I needed to hear it from you Kanda. Allen is special to all of us and if … excuse me … when he wakes up I want to make sure his feelings aren't hurt any more than they already are."
"Komui … when Bean Sprout wakes up ... and able to be moved … I'm taking him with me … we'll both be leaving the Black Order. I'm being up front with you right now and I don't care what Link says — Allen's no traitor. So don't try to stop me."
"Kanda … I believe it's the best thing you and Allen could do. I'm saying this 'unofficially', of course, and I know for a fact Link feels the same way." Kanda looks shocked at this news.
"Link may be something's Kanda, but he's definitely tried to protect Allen the best he could. It took a lot of courage to face you with the fact it was him Allen was protecting. That's quite the bruise you gave him too," Komui winks at Kanda.
"Oh, and if you need a place to go, I have a place in Japan that would be perfect for the two of you. That's if it's still standing," Komui says, smiling and leaves the room.
Kanda walks over to the bed, sits down and takes Allen's cool hand. He kisses it and holds it to his warm cheek.
"You're all I want in my life Bean Sprout, so damn it, just get the hell back here to me – that's an order," Kanda says sternly. He lays Allen's hand down and sits on the floor in front of the bed to meditate.
'Kanda! I do hear Kanda! He says he needs me. Wait a minute, what does he mean an order … who the hell does he think he is to order me back … the hell with orders, he wants me to come back … but back from where? How do I get out of here? Kanda! I'll come back … I won't let you down … somehow I'll get out of here … I just need to figure out how …'
Kanda calmly sits in his meditative form allowing the noises and sounds to flow away from him. He's in the moment, the Now. It's a peaceful state of mind. Kanda feels all the tension in his body leave and his mind is clear. He could hear a pin drop it's so still.
Someone is softly calling his name. 'If I didn't know better it sounds like Bean Sprout's voice. There it is again, so faint. It's definitely my name being called …' Suddenly Kanda's eyes fly open. He springs up from the floor to the bed. He looks down at Allen – he hasn't moved. Kanda slides into the bed and gathers him into his arms.
"Bean Sprout, are you calling to me? Damn it! Answer me idiot! Get back here … I … I want you," he chokes on his words.
Then the faint voice comes again ever so softly, "Kan–da …"
"Bean Sprout, you stupid idiot, I'm right here … right beside you! Keep fighting … damnit, come to me," his heart is pounding hard against his chest.
Allen slowly opens an eye. 'Yes, it is Kanda. I'm in Kanda's arms!'
Kanda brushes his white hair back, looking down at him, tears of joy stinging his eyes. 'I'll never lose him again!'
"Bean Sprout, you idiot, I'm right here. Can you see me?"
"Yes," Allen responses, faintly and a half smile.
"You needed me — I heard you," Allen manages to get out.
"Allen you damn stupid moron, I'll always need you," Kanda whispers, hoarsely.
Allen smiles, "You called me Allen. Please don't go away again Kanda."
"I'm not going anywhere without you ever again. I won't ever let you go Allen, even if I have to marry you to keep you by my side." Kanda smiles a rare smile, and gently kisses Allen's soft lips.