***Guilty Pleasures***

AJ Talon

DISCLAIMER: Tenchi Muyo! Ain't mine, so there! Pfft!


Tsunami, per her position as a near-omnipotent being of incredible power, could on occassion be seen here and there in the galaxy. She was difficult to spot for the most part, even the starship that bore her name only made occassional contact with the Jurian fleet. Still, despite the fact that she had things to do beyond any normal senient lifeform's comprehension, this didn't mean she didn't have her off days.

"Ah ha! I have you now, Smiley Face GIF!"



Tsunami was sorely tempted to blast whomever had created "Minesweeper" into subatomic particles right then and there. That was the fifteenth game she'd lost in a row! To a stupid computer game at least three thousand years behind the Jurian's lowest cost computer system these days!

Disgusted, she floated off and looked idly out the veiwport. The Tsunami was right now doing an extended patrol of the Mid-Rim of the galaxy. This was known as the "Suburbs" of the Milky Way-Closer to the Core were the so-called Urban Areas, and the Outer Rim was the Countryside. Her two favorite planets-Earth and Jurai-were within the Mid-Rim. Jurian Fleet Command had long since given up asking Tsunami why she went to places that seemed to have no real strategic value or threat, given as she had her reasons. That's all she would say.

She was right now monumentally bored. There weren't any prophecies that needed fulfilling, Tokimi and Washu weren't causing any trouble or doing anything that would constitute a need to investigate, and the Jurians, the super power of the galaxy, had no threats they couldn't handle on their own.

Tsunami was indeed exceptionally bored. She called up some readouts on anything that might prove interesting, even remotely. She then reminded herself that she'd been around this Galaxy about a hundred times, and thus there was little (if anything) that she had not seen. She wondered if it would be a breach of her codes if she looked around for a few solar systems to destroy. Just to watch a star go boom might provide some meager entertainment.

"Who am I kidding?" The azure-tressed goddess groaned as she floated about. Destroying solar systems wouldn't be fun and would probably get her a couple million lawsuits. Yes, even the mighty Tsunami feared lawyers.

"There must be SOMETHING to do... Anything to do," she sighed. She tapped her chin, then smiled. She rummaged about in hammerspace, then pulled out a few inconspicuous items she'd found on Earth. Calling up a large holographic screen, she removed one of the objects from it's plastic container, slipped it into a pocket in hammerspace, and leaned back in mid air.

"WAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, Ranma, you sure didn't see that coming! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Yes, even goddesses like anime.


Washu rolled her eyes in mild amusement. Most powerful goddess in the Galaxy, and her sister had the largest collection of anime and manga she'd ever seen this side of the Galactic Rim. Simple minds are simply amused. She cackled slightly, then blinked. She was finished with all her experiments for the day, and there wasn't anyone around...

"Why not?" Washu reached into her sub-space pockets, and pulled out a black box and some wire. She placed it on a small platform, and attached the wire to the small device. She then flipped a switch, and with the closing of her eyes she held the microphone to her lips.

"Stop! In the naaaaammmmeee of love! I don't knoooowww the words..." Sang Washu as several cats hunting in the nearby meadow responded in a flury of meows.


"MIYAH!" Cried Ryo-ohki, jumping off of Sasami's shoulder and scurrying away as if in fright. Sasami blinked, then shrugged as she returned to her chopping of vegetables. Must be a cabbit thing, she decided.

Sasami was good at hiding her emotions, which is why no one suspected that she got bored quite easily. The tedium of chopping and cooking could wear on her. Not to mention the constant begging she got from the other girls (aside from Washu of course) for money. Then again, Washu had learned to hack her own funds (literally), and thus had no need for begging. Sasami had managed to keep her cash under control, despite the attempts by the others. And that allowed her to fulfill a few needs...

Speaking of needs... Sasami looked around carefully. No one was around. No one would be here until lunch at the earliest. Well, except for Tenchi, but she always had ample warning...

Sasami wiped her hands on her apron, opened one of the cupboards, searched about with her tongue at the corner of her mouth for a few moments, then smirked in triumph as she brought out what she was looking for. She felt for the 'on' switch, held the small device to her body, and...

"Bwahahaha! Taste my fire flower balls of doom, you over-grown tortoise!" Sasami cackled. She'd gotten to level 27 already, and she would make 28 in good time. She had been playing Super Mario Brothers since she'd landed...


Mihoshi blinked, then looked up. Had she heard Sasami... Cackle? Nah, musta been the wind or something. Mihoshi shrugged, then got back to writing her report in the living room.

Mihoshi had so much trouble with writing reports, especially since Kiyone wasn't around to help her with the bigger words. Her partner got mad at her easily, and Mihoshi knew she messed up a lot, but it didn't mean she had to always explode at her! Mihoshi sighed, then put the report aside. This wasn't getting her anywhere. She wouldn't be able to finish the report until Kiyone got back. She would be completely alone and with nothing to do...

Wait. She did have something to do... Mihoshi smiled gleefully, then got on her hands and knees to reach under the the couch. She was sure she had hidden it under here somewhere...

"Ah ha!" Mihoshi muttered in triumph. She brought the soft object out into the light, and studied it carefully. No, it was still in good condition. Mihoshi held it up into the light again, double checked before bringing her hands down...

And dropping the hackysack. She executed a perfect layup, followed by a back kick, then a spin deflect, and pretty soon she was into her standard routine, the soft beans in it masking the sounds she made while she smiled in glee.

Yes, hackysacking was indeed a fun way to pass the time.


Aeka paused and swore she heard pats and paffs downstairs. Then again, the walls of this house distorted sound pretty well, and thus imaginations were given quite a bit of leeway. Aeka shrugged, then continued in her explorations.

Aeka had managed to procure the laptop using her own money. She had saved and saved and finally when Father and Mother had cut off her cash flow entirely she'd been able to add some features to it. It was nowhere near as advanced as Washu's supercomputer, but it got the job done for what she had in mind for it.

*ENTER PASSWORD:* Aeka smirked, then typed in her code.

*PASSWORD ACCEPTED* Aeka couldn't wait to see what the new uploads looked like! Her patience would pay off, but the longing was so excrutiating. She eagerly entered the site, almost drooling...

PurplePrincess: I'm BAAAAAACCCKKKK!

RowdyMan: ?


PurplePrincess: Bwahahahaha, feel my wrath! None can defeat me in my special hacked Whalebone/Heaven Charmed Armor! Die, you fools! Die!

RowdyMan: LOL, you'll never defeat me!

StudMachine: Log off while you still can!

PurplePrincess: DIE!

StudMachine: AUGH!

RowdyMan: Wah? No!

PurplePrincess: Bwahahaha! DIE!

RowdyMan: NOOOOO!

Aeka smirked. She had thirty-seven ears to her count now. Smirking in triumph, she eagerly headed off to the lower levels of Diablo to find more unsuspecting victims.


Noboyuki groaned as he logged out. That PurplePrincess was a grade-A sociopath. Still, she (or he) had easily defeated him and anyone up against her ever since she'd first appeared. He sighed, then looked up his favorites.

Hm... None of these sites had been updated for a while, and Noboyuki had gone through them more than enough.
But wait... Updates! At last, Noboyuki grinned, it's been so long! Noboyuki eagerly clicked up the link and the page emerged, in all it's glory...

"YES! REVIEWS!" Noboyuki had put up ten fanfictions- Three free verse poems which had earned him a lot of reviews stating how very sensitive a guy he was, four Gundam Wing fanfictions (he grimaced as he saw that some flamer had said several colorful phrases about Noboyuki's whole 2xR conviction) and his latest masterpeice; A Gundam Wing/Oh My Goddess crossover! He'd thought that people might like the Belldandy/Duo pairing. Though he was getting accusations of supporting pedophilia by pairing up Heero and Skuld. She was, what, only a year younger than Heero? Besides, it was better than some sicko putting up a Marimaya/Gundam pilots orgy. Noboyuki indeed had limits when it came to lemons.

Well... Robster80 had put up a new Digimon fic. Noboyuki clicked on it and expected quite an excellent tale, which he expected no less from Robster. And he was right. He enthusiastically clicked the link and set in for some good-old fashioned reading. He then had the supreme misfortune to spill his coffee in his lap.



Ryoko heard Noboyuki's cry of pain, but shrugged it off. Meh, he was always getting himself into trouble. Probably he...

"Ryoko! Mail!" Ryoko teleported in an instant, grinning as she snatched the parcel out of the astonished mail man's hands, and teleported again. The mailman decided that the best course of action was to run away screaming, which he promptly did. Ryoko shrugged. He'd probably pass it off a hallucination in good time, she hoped.

She teleported to her room, and ripped the package open. She'd been waiting for such a long time! At last...

Ryoko pulled out her kit, and dumped the contents out onto a little table. Rubber cement, a modeling knife, and anumber of other implements. She grinned as she opened the cardboard box and snatched the instructions out. She then promptly vaproized them with a chi bolt, and set to work.

"Yes! My collection will be complete! Don't worry, little Altron Nataku, you'll be done in no time! What the- Ick! Some fool melted these pieces together? Man..."


Kiyone watched the terrified mailman run down the road screaming, and sighed. Darn that Ryoko and her mindless use of her powers! They'd be exposed for sure...

Kiyone turned back into the foliage, carefully making sure that she didn't disturb a single leaf. She could not afford for anyone, especially that royal klutz Mihoshi, to find her hideaway. She covered the last few meters, then crouched in the soil. She wiped the sweat off her brow, and picked up a clay pot. She checked the soil. Yes, yes... THis little seed would sprout soon enough. It only needed time, and a little love. Kiyone smiled at the other residents of her garden, a beautiful tulip, a stunning rose, and other assorted flowers. She pruned her small but growing patch of violets, making sure nary a leaf was out of place for maximum photosynthesis coverage.

Kiyone had always enjoyed gardening, but in space and with a complete moron for a partner such things were difficult at best. Kiyone had sometimes considered an offer to become a Fleet Liasion Officer to the Jurian Navy-She'd be able to grow her flowers and other assorted plants without anyone griping or the threat of some careless fool destroying them.

The Jurians always did like florists.

Kiyone froze when she thought she heard someone in the underbrush. She looked about warily, senses strained as far as they could go. Nothing. Still not convinced, Kiyone pulled out her thermal goggles and looked about. No one in sight. She sighed happily, then noticed that the magnolias looked a bit parched. She filled a glass with water from a nearby creek, and after checking the pH level, she gleefully fed her thirsty charges.

"There. How are you now, my little ones?"


Tenchi had to admit, he had been mildly shocked when he'd seen Kiyone growing flowers out in the middle of the woods, but this hadn't impaired his new skills in the art of evading sensor apparatuses.

Yes, Jurian combat techniques did indeed come in handy, despite the fact his grandfather was a looney about training.

Leaping from tree to tree without a sound, Tenchi followed the trail to Funahoe loosely, keeping his pattern random so as to throw off possible attackers. While it was unlikely he'd be stalked by anyone looking for him, such things had become habit, and habit was habit, after all.

He landed with cat-like agility on Funahoe's largest root, sprawling away from the large tree like a twisting tentacle. Tenchi brought out the Tenchi-ken, and held the small but powerful weapon up to the trunk. A soft glow filled the area, and when it disappated Tenchi had vanished.

Tsunami had finished off her entire collection of Ranma 1/2 DVDs and was about to launch into her equally impressive collection of Battle Athletes DVDs when she sensed a familiar presence entering the ship. With a small grin, she closed the holo screen and stashed her DVDs away into Hammerspace just as Tenchi emerged in a large flash of light from Tsunami the tree. Tenchi and Tsunami shared a loving look, then they embraced warmly, hugging with enough force to crush a planet.


"I got it, don't worry. And everyone thinks I'm out tending to the carrots!"

"Tenchi-kun, you fiend!" Giggled Tsunami as Tenchi set the CD player down. Tenchi grinned back at her.

"Yup, that's me!" Tenchi took Tsunami into his arms again, and with a flick of her hand Tsunami set the CD player on. They waited impatiently for the thing to start playing...

"It don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that swing... Doowahdoowahdoowahdoowahdoowah..." To the rythmic swing of Frank Sinatra, Tenchi and Tsunami swung with all their might, as one might say. Tenchi launched Tsunami into the air, and caught the blushing and giggling goddess with ease before she put him into a spin. Every move you could think up, from knee slapping to Tenchi finding himself being swung under and between Tsunami's legs and coming out with a slight nosebleed, they did. Finally, the music came to a stop while they both fell to the floor in an exhausted heap.

Tenchi caressed Tsunami's hair while she simply held him with a happy sigh...

"I love you, you know."

"I love you too."

"...Oh man, you have any idea how corny that was?" Tsunami and Tenchi both shot up blushing beet red in embarrassment and indignation. Tokimi stood there rolling her eyes with a sigh.

"Sister! Why I- Tokimi?" Tenchi and Tsunami stared at the so-called Dark Goddess- Wearing oven mitts, an apron and holding a three-layer chocolate coated cake. Tenchi and Tsunami blinked. Tokimi blushed heavily with a snarl.

"What? So I like to bake now and then, geez! You Terrans have bloody good recipes. Mind if I join you, my sister and Tenchi?" Tsunami and Tenchi exchanged looks, then turned back to Tokimi with smiles.

"Of course, sister! We can watch my newest copy of "Metropolis: Special Edition!"

"I also brought some cookies..."

"Tsunami-chan, can we... Dance later?"

"Of course, Ten-chan! How about we try disco?"

"Disco?! Egad, have you two no shame?"


And thus, the Tenchi Muyo! Gang lived happily ever after, unaware of eachother's guilty pleasures...






"SHUT UP, AEKA! SOMEONE STOLE WING ZERO! And I was just about to apply the last wing too..."


"Tsunami-chan, all our dancing CDs are gone!"


"...Has anyone seen my oven mitts?"

That is, until Katsuhito decided to take all their stuff as a prank.

"Hm... Tenchi, you must learn to be more observant! This requires more training!"


(gulp, major sweatdrop) "Uh oh..."

And they all lived reasonably happily ever after, aside from Katsuhito who had to stay in traction for seven months, but that is another story...



R&R, please!

List of Hobbies I made Beforehand (in order of my favorite characters ^_^):
Tsunami: Dancing and Anime/Manga
Tenchi: Dancing
Sasami: Nintendo
Washu: Kareoke
Tokimi: Baking
Aeka: RPG Gamer
Kiyone: Gardening
Mihoshi: Hackysack
Noboyuki: Fan Fiction Writing ^__^
Ryoko: Modeling

And there you have it!