"Speak now or forever hold your peace."
Frankie felt that her time had run out.
She took one more gulp of alcohol courage.
Then she did what any drunken, broken hearted, idiot would do.
"I was scared you didn't love me back," She stood up, "I was scared of rejection of all things, ironic and contradicting as it was. I was scared I wasn't good enough. I was scared I would fuck it all up. I was so fucking scared, Cat." Frankie's tears started to fall, but she continued with determination, "That's all I have to say for my self, all I've ever had to say for myself, and it isn't enough. I will never be enough. But it's all I have, Cat. This stupid late fucked up apology is all I can offer you. Damaged goods, back then and now. It's all I'll ever be, and I knew it. And you know what? I was fucking scared you'd figure it out. And I was scared you'd look at me like everyone else. Like I wasn't enough. Like I was nothing. Like I was some joke, some comedic failure. So, I ran like the coward I pretend I'm not, and I've never stopped running. Cat, I'm still running from you. You are the only person that has ever understood me, that has cared enough to actually look at me, brave enough to see me, stripped from all my dramatic bullshit. And I've been trying to find someone to look at me the same way, but it's only you. It was always you. And the funny part is, the farther I get from you, the more I feel like I'm going the wrong way. The more I run, the more fucking scared I get. But, for the life of me, I can't stop. I think I expected you to run after me. I think I expected you to turn up on my doorstep, like some fucking fairytale- Anyways, Cat, I know it's bad timing, and I know I'm late. I know I ran out of time a long time ago, and I know I've been stringing you along while I go through my shit, and I'm not asking for a chance- I'm just- I'm asking for forgiveness. I want to change. Really change. I'm tired of being a fuck up. And I know this is pretty fucked that I'm saying all this at your wedding- but I'm really sorry. And I thought, maybe you'd want a best mate? I see the spots open." She contorted her face into that very Frankie smile.
Cat looked at her ex lover like she was crazy, "Frankie, are you drunk?"
"Aren't you?" She challenged.
She was always challenging Cat.