Disclaimer: Do not own Twilight, enough said.
WARNING: This story contains disciplinary spanking of a teenage vampire. If you DO NOT LIKE this material, then DO NOT READ!
Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized
A/N: So, yeah this story should have been finished ages ago, so I apologize! I'd like to say I have a good excuse, but I don't. I know I always say this with every new story, but this one was really hard for me to write. I had about half of it written by the time I finished posting Emmett's story, but then I got stuck. As with all my stories, I want you to know that I worked really hard on this so I hope you enjoy it as much as you have my previous ones.
Damn it, I thought with a grimace. Those two idiots were right, they were actually right! Man, they were neva goin' to let me forget this. I would never live this down. I can't say I didn't bring this on myself though. I was the idiot who ignored everythin' around him and then lost his mind. I groaned as I imagined the looks my brothers, yes brothers would give me upon returning. They would be unbearable! How could I have been so wrong?!
Chapter 1: Quiet Musings
I lay on my back, enjoying the scents and sounds of the forest around me. I could hear the flapping of wings and the hooves of deer hitting the dirt. I could hear the wind rustling the autumn leaves and the water crashing into rocks at the base of a waterfall. As I inhaled deeply I could smell dirt, flowers, water, and various animals. I gave a content sigh.
I loved moments like these. In the Cullen household it was always very difficult to have quiet moments like this with Emmett's laughter, Edward's music, and my Alice and Rosalie's constant chatter.
I enjoyed moments like these because I didn't have to be on guard. I didn't have to watch the every move of those around me. I didn't have to fight off the barrage of emotions hitting me while trying to find out if I was feeling my own or someone else's. I didn't have to watch my every thought or decision.
I heard in the distant the laughter of my broth—no, the laughter of Emmett and Edward as they bantered over who was the best hunter. I listened for my sweet Alice, but she must have been too far away for me to hear.
Alice, I thought with a bright smile, warmth spreading through me. She was the light of my life, my godsend, my savior. I recalled clearly the day she came into my life, the day I really began to live. God, what did I ever do to deserve her? Surely there was someone better suited than me out there for her? This thought caused me a stab of agonizing pain, but I forcefully pushed it away. What did she see in me? I knew from her emotions that she loved me and that I made her happy, but I couldn't understand how.
She would get over me. She would move on.
I shook my head, quickly ridding myself of these thoughts. I hadn't made a decision. I couldn't make a decision. It would have to be spur of the moment.
I rubbed a scarred hand over my face and began to think on the members of the Cullen coven, or should I say family. They were the oddest bunch of vampires I had ever met. I remembered when Alice had first told me about them, and about how they would be our new family.
Family, what a foreign concept; and if that were not weird enough, she had then told me that they only hunted animals! I had thought for sure that my little pixie was pullin' my leg at that point, but she was adamant that she was telling me the truth. I had my doubts, but I followed her anyways, and lo and behold, she was absolutely right.
I chuckled softly as my memories turned towards the day we finally met these Cullens. Due to Alice's visions, she already felt as if she was a part of this family, and she'd told me so many things about them that I felt I already knew them. Not that I'd ever lowered my guard though. The second we entered their territory I was on high alert. My Alice may have trusted these vampires before even meeting them, but I was taking no chances. I was prepared to fight or flee at the slightest hint that they meant Alice any harm.
"Relax Jazzy," Alice whispered as she held my hand, "everything is going to work out, you'll see. It's going to be perfect!" She was positively vibrating with excitement, and I quickly let go for a moment as her emotions threatened to take me over. It would not do for me to be bouncing in excitement with a goofy grin when I met these vampires.
"Sorry," Alice quickly apologized before giving me a peck on the cheek.
"It's fine Alice," I murmured before putting my hands on her shoulders to hold her in place. She looked up at me with bright eyes and I couldn't help but smile at her. She was so beautiful.
"Alice, listen to me," I finally spoke. "I know you think these vamps won't hurt us, but I just want you to be prepared—"
"They're going to love us, I know it," she interrupted me, and I stared at her. She said it with such certainty. Her visions had never been wrong before, but I was not happy about risking her well-being on them. What if she was wrong?
"Let's just be careful," I finally advised, and she nodded her head before pulling my hand.
"We're almost there!" she shrieked, and I stifled an exasperated groan. I used my gift to try and calm her, and sighed in relief when she visibly pulled herself together.
Finally, we came to an opening in the woods and found ourselves standing in front of a beautiful, large, two-story house. Here goes nothing, I thought nervously as we walked toward the house. I tensed when three vampires walked out of the house, and I wrapped a protective arm around my mate.
A blonde male was in the lead, followed by a woman with caramel colored hair and a younger blonde woman. Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie I quickly accessed. I tensed even more, furtively glancing around me. Where are the other two males?
I quickly zeroed back in on the three vampires in front of me when they stopped a few feet away from us. I assessed their feelings. The leader, Carlisle exuded calm, confidence, and curiosity. When his eyes landed on me a bit of uneasiness flowed through him, but he quickly squashed it. He held his hand out slightly, stopping the two females in place.
I next turned my eyes on Esme. She stood a couple feet behind her mate and she felt nervous, but also curious. When she glanced at me a thrill of fear coursed through her, but like her mate she too quickly squashed the emotion.
Finally, I looked at the younger female, Rosalie. Her expression was wary. I could feel a bit of fear with a lot of hostility. I frowned softly. She was not happy to see us.
Beside me, Alice was once more vibrating with excitement. I tightened my hold on her as I let out feelings of calm.
My eyes flicked back towards Carlisle when he took a step forward and spread his arms in a welcoming gesture. "Welcome," he said. "My name is Carlisle Cullen, this is my wife Esme, and my daughter Rosalie," he informed us. "May I ask your names?"
Daughter? Huh. "My name is Jasper Whitlock, sir," I replied, "and this is my mate"—I began to say before Alice abruptly broke away from me and ran towards Carlisle. I immediately crouched and prepared for an attack, but to his credit Carlisle neither backed away nor attacked as my little pixie wrapped her arms around him.
"Hi Carlisle, my name is Alice and I'm your new daughter! I'm so excited! Can I call you Dad? Can I go pick my room now?" she yelled as she looked up at him with an ecstatic grin. I mentally face-palmed. So much for being careful, I thought drily.
I felt as the emotions around me turned into bewilderment and confusion. I knew Carlisle was totally confused, but his face did not show it. He just gave Alice a kind smile and returned the hug. When she broke away he then said, "Hello Alice, it is a pleasure to meet you."
I quickly went over and pulled her away a little. "My apologies sir, she's a little exuberant," I told him before turning to Alice. "Perhaps you should explain darlin' because everybody here's a bit confused."
She laughed lightly before nodding her head. She then explained about how she woke up to this life with no memory, and about her gift. She explained about how she'd seen visions of us being a part of this family, and about how she and I had started hunting animals. Their gazes had flicked to our eyes at this point as if to confirm our story.
I once more had my arm wrapped around Alice's waist as I avidly monitored the emotions. There was shock, sadness, amazement, distrust, elation, excitement, curiosity, and finally, acceptance. I relaxed ever so slightly as the emotions from Carlisle and Esme were positive. It was only Rosalie that had any negative feelings, but I wasn't very concerned as I knew she could not attack us without her coven leader's permission, and he didn't look ready to attack.
"And that's it!" Alice chimed once she finished. By this point Esme was standing next to her mate, and even Rosalie had taken a few steps closer.
"Amazing," Carlisle said with an awed look, "you have a remarkable gift Alice." Alice beamed in response and I couldn't help but allow a brief smile to grace my features as her happiness coursed through me. I gazed down at her fondly and she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.
My face quickly became expressionless though when Carlisle addressed me. "And what about you Jasper? Where do you come from? Do you have a gift?" he asked, and though I felt only genuine curiosity from him I could not help but tense in preparation for a fight.
He must be very good at reading people, or perhaps I had let a bit of my unease escape for he quickly gave me a reassuring smile and said, "It is alright, you do not have to tell me." I relaxed a little as Alice gave me an understanding smile. I allowed her love to surround me before watching as Carlisle turned towards his mate. She had not spoken, but her expression and emotions revealed how ecstatic she was by our arrival, and as hard as it was for me to believe, I could tell she already felt love towards Alice.
I watched as she gave her mate a loving smile before nodding. At this Rosalie hissed, and I felt her irritation. I immediately tensed as I placed myself in front of Alice.
Carlisle noted my reaction and he held up his hands in a placating gesture. "We mean you and Alice no harm, Jasper."
I studied his un-threatening posture and took in his calm demeanor before coming out of my crouch. Alice had remained quiet throughout this, but I could feel a hint of distress from her.
"You two are more than welcome to stay here," Esme spoke for the first time causing my wife to scream in delight before throwing her arms around Esme.
"What?!" Rosalie screeched with an angry look. "How can you invite them into our home? We don't even know them! I mean, look at him"—she raged before being cut off by Carlisle.
"Rosalie Cullen!" he hissed with an irritated look. "You are being extremely rud, and you will apologize this instant," he ordered her sternly.
Rosalie glared at him before turning her glare towards me. I stared at her with an indifferent expression even though I was shocked by her blatant disrespect to her coven leader. I became completely dumbfounded when she disregarded his order and marched into the house. I immediately looked at Carlisle to see what he would do, but he did nothing more than purse his lips and turn to me with an apologetic expression. His feelings showed that he was irritated and embarrassed, but nothing more. What kind of coven leader was he? If I had treated Maria like that… I shuddered at the thought.
"I apologize. Rosalie can be a bit headstrong, but I am sure she will come around," Carlisle said to us. I just stared at him as my wife nodded her head in understanding.
"It's alright Dad!" she chimed, and Carlisle widened his eyes in surprise at the title before giving her a smile. "Rose and I are going to be great sisters, you'll see! We're going to have loads of fun together, I can't wait!" she squealed, and I gave a small laugh as I siphoned off some of her excitement to Carlisle and Esme. Esme immediately gave an excited squeal of her own as she wrapped her arms around Alice and Carlisle laughed.
"Let's go Jazzy, I want to pick out my room," she then said, grabbing me by the hand and dragging me inside, much to the amusement of Carlisle and Esme.
Alice had immediately chosen a room that was already occupied, much to my dismay, but she insisted that Edward would not be upset. I doubted that, but I could not bring myself to argue with her when she looked so happy. She had been right, of course, and after the initial shock and confusion Edward had given in with an amused look and a shrug of his shoulders.
Our first year had been a trial, well, at least for me. Everyone had been immediately accepting of Alice, and she fit in so well it was almost as though she had been a part of the family for years. They all loved her, and for that I was grateful.
Things had not gone so smoothly for me. My first few months were stressful and tense as I was always on alert and defensive. I over thought every movement, every word the Cullens had said as I searched for any sign, any hint of deceit or antagonism.
Surprising as it may sound, it was Rosalie who I warmed up to first. She was the only vampire of the bunch who reacted as I expected her to, with fear and distrust. I never ceased to be surprised by how trusting the others were of me.
Rosalie had made no secret of her dislike of me, but she never said anything in front of Carlisle, Esme, or Alice. One day though, it was just the two of us at home alone, and she finally let loose exactly what she thought of me. I wasn't sure why I cared, but her distrust got to me, and so I defended myself. She listened, and just when I thought she was going to argue with me, she gave a stiff nod. We sat in uncomfortable silence, and before we knew it we started having a civil conversation. She told me a little bit about herself and I told her a little bit about myself. We started having more conversations, always in private, and she became the first person I told of my life with Maria. I didn't go into details, but I was pleasantly surprised by how upset she became on my behalf. She eventually told me of her ex-fiancé and what he had done to her, and I was startled to find how angry I became and of how protective I suddenly felt for this girl.
I wasn't sure when I finally warmed up to the others, but one day I suddenly realized that I had become attached to every member. Emmett, with his easy going attitude and fun-loving nature became like a brother. He taught me how to have fun and enjoy myself. He taught me that fighting could be done in play, and that it didn't have to involve any pain. I remembered the first time I watched Emmett and Edward roughhouse with each other, and the amazement I felt. I was first surprised to find they had some skill with fighting. With the peaceful life they led I expected them to be completely untrained. I wondered who had taught them. Aside from that, I had also been amazed by the hoots of laughter and banter they exchanged while fighting. I remembered fighting for 'fun' in Maria's army, and while we never fought to kill, we certainly fought to injure and harm and there was certainly never any playful teasing or laughter.
It was during these playful wrestles that I also became friends with Edward. While I had more skill than him, his mind-reading ability gave him an advantage. I still won in the end, but it had been an interesting fight, and before I knew it I found myself laughing and teasing him. He quickly retaliated after a look of shock and things went smoothly from there. He taught me to play the piano, and I taught him to play guitar. Soon, the three of us, Emmett, Edward, and I became like brothers. We hunted and played together, and we teased each other mercilessly. We were constantly in competition, always trying to outdo the other.
Esme, bless her, was so patient and loving with me. It had been a long time since I had felt the love of a mother, but she was quick to fill the void I had not even realized I had. I knew from her emotions that she adored me, but even knowing that, it had taken a long time before I could accept a hug. I smiled as I recalled the first time I instigated a hug with her. The discomfort had been totally worth it for her happiness had been like no other. She was so easy to talk to, and I found myself opening up to her slightly without even realizing. She always knew the right things to say, and how to make me feel better.
Carlisle, well, he had been the most difficult for me to grow close to. He was unlike any coven leader I had ever met. I suppose that was because he was more than a coven leader, he was a father. This was not only a coven, but a family. It had taken a long time for me to realize this, but realize I had. My initial assessment of Carlisle had been that he was a weak leader because he acted nothing like Maria or any of the other southern leaders I had met before. That notion had quickly been changed though. Maria had ruled by fear and brute force, while Carlisle ruled with respect and love. Well, ruled isn't the right word. Carlisle led his family. He was very easy-going and beyond patient. He didn't act like he was superior or better than any member of his family. He treated everyone with respect. I could see and feel through his emotions the devotion and love he felt towards his family, and how he genuinely enjoyed spending time with every one of them. Hell, he even wrestled with Emmett and Edward!
I chuckled as I remembered the utter shock I had felt when I had first seen Emmett tackle Carlisle. As easy going as Carlisle was, I felt sure that Emmett had just pushed the limit, but I had been completely wrong. Carlisle had muttered a small curse, mildly chiding Emmett for attacking him when he was wearing his work clothes; and then, before I knew it he had tackled Emmett and buried his head in the mud. Edward had then given a whoop of delight before jumping into the fray. I couldn't bring myself to join in, but I clearly remembered the joy that radiated off of Carlisle. As I watched the fight that was when I realized that it had been Carlisle that had taught Emmett and Edward how to fight. He was very skilled and I wondered if we ever got into a fight if I would be able to beat him.
Time went on and without my realizing I found myself becoming closer to Carlisle as well. He was so good at reading me I sometimes thought it was him that had the mind-reading ability. He, like Esme was very easy to talk to and so I found myself sharing a bit about my past with him too. He was very understanding, and he had years of experience and wisdom that he loved to share with me. I couldn't help respecting him.
It was about eight months after I arrived that I first got a glimpse of how Carlisle kept control of his rambunctious kids without the use of violence. I'd seen him deal with disrespect and arguments with a few stern words. I'd marveled at how he could cause big, burly Emmett to whimper like a kicked pup with one look. I just didn't understand how gentle Carlisle could illicit such a response; and then came that one night.
Emmett had been in a funk over losing a wrestling match with Edward. He kept badgering Edward for a rematch, but Edward refused; so, that night when Edward was playing his piano Emmett had lost his temper and destroyed Edward's piano in an attempt to instigate a fight. From the look on Edward's face, it probably would've worked if Carlisle hadn't been home. As it was, Carlisle had gotten in between the guys in a flash, silencing Emmett's protests with a fierce glare. He had then given Edward a look which caused the boy to hastily explain what happened. After another look Edward nodded and then dragged me out of the house.
We eventually ran into the women who had been hunting, and that was when I was told about the punishment all the Cullen kids feared the most… a spanking. I stared at them all in shock, certain that they'd been pullin' my leg, but their faces were serious. Even my little Alice had looked serious, while I was working hard not to burst into laughter. A spanking? That's the punishment that made these vampires cringe in terror. I couldn't believe it! It sounded so absurd to me, but they had been telling the truth, because when we arrived home we found a sheepish looking Emmett sporting red-rimmed eyes while trying to discretely rub his backside.
The next day I had questioned both Emmett and Edward about this punishment and was shocked to find out how much they feared it. It seemed so ridiculous to me! A spanking was a child's punishment, and yet they talked of it like Carlisle was ripping their limbs off. I told them what I thought, and was confused when I saw them exchange knowing looks.
"Take it from me," Emmett had said with a smile as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "you may think it's no big deal, but I swear to you that you'll be singing a much different tune when you eventually end up in that position."
I knew from his emotions that he genuinely believed what he said, but I scoffed nevertheless. A spanking was nothing compared to the punishments I had used to receive from Maria. Anytime I disobeyed or disrespected her she would punish me with painful bites, loss of limb, and even starvation. Carlisle's punishment was nothing compared to that. Besides, I wasn't his son, so he'd never punish me like that.
Months went on and I slowly found myself growing closer to the Cullens. I never allowed myself to believe that I was a part of the family though, I knew I was undeserving. They may at times have enjoyed my company, but I knew that they only put up with me for Alice's sake, my dear, sweet, loving Alice. Even though I was not a part of this family I enjoyed the quiet, peaceful lives they led. I enjoyed not having to constantly watch my back, and I enjoyed not having to fight to survive anymore. However, all too soon reality caught up with me, and I realized how bad I was for this family.
It was a few months ago, almost two years after we had first joined this coven. My thirst had been a constant issue with me since I had first started hunting animals. I was not accustomed to showing restraint. It was so difficult for me not to go after humans, especially with how unsatisfactory and unappealing animal blood was to me. Not that I minded the struggle. I truly enjoyed not having to feel the pain and fear of my victims. When hunting animals, I began to feel like less of a monster. I began to feel more human.
I envied the ease with which the others, even Alice handled their thirst. While I needed to hunt every two to three days, they only hunted once a week, and usually more out of boredom than actual thirst. It was maddening being the weakest member. I was so used to being on top, to being better than those around me; but, I suppose I am nothing like the Cullens. They are much better people than I could ever hope to be, I had come to realize. They were not monsters like me.
Anyways, it was a few months ago when I lost control of my thirst. I had been pushing four days without hunting, and I had felt quite proud of myself. I had been relaxing out in the woods, just as I was now when the intoxicating scents of humans hit me. No thoughts had passed through me, I had only reacted. My instincts reared and my throat burned like no other as I quickly ran towards the alluring scents. In less than five minutes I had two humans dead at my feet. They were two teenage males, who judging from their clothes and backpacks, had probably been hiking or camping in the area. I felt satisfied for the first time in years, and I immediately hated myself for that.
I jumped when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. It had been Alice and Edward. Alice had dragged me home, trying her best to console me while Edward took care of the bodies. I had been so terrified when I had arrived home, certain that Carlisle would punish or banish me from the family; but, he had not. He had been kind and understanding. There had been no judgment in his eyes at all. This somehow made me feel even worse than before. I wanted him to be angry, I wanted him to do something to ease the guilt I was feeling, but he did nothing and I said nothing.
When Edward returned he had told us that the men were from a nearby town, so Carlisle had decided that it would be best for us to leave, making me feel worse than ever. I could feel the irritation at having to leave from the others even though they had tried to hide it. They had all told me I was not to blame, and that accidents happened, but I ignored them. My weakness caused the death of two men, and caused our family to have to leave our home.
After that I had begun to distance myself from everyone. I was a monster, a failure, and I was undeserving of the companionship of this family. If it had not been for Alice, I would have already left by now. It was wrong of me to force myself on this happy family, and I was sure they realized that too. They had long since stopped pestering me and asking me what was wrong. They had already moved on, forgotten about me. I no longer played with Edward and Emmett, and I no longer talked with Rosalie, Esme, or Carlisle.
It was only Alice who had not moved on. She continued to try and coax and beg me to be with the family, but I refused. Her hurt tore through me, but I told myself that it would pass. Whenever the day came for me to leave, she would be hurt, but I was also certain that she would move on. Perhaps she would even find herself a new mate, one more deserving of her. My heart clenched at this thought, but I didn't care. I was being selfish. Alice deserved so much more than me, and I should be happy with the time I have spent with her.
My thoughts were cut short when I heard the approaching footsteps of my bro—of Emmett and Edward. I held back a sigh of irritation before standing up. What did they want?
Emmett appeared first, crashing into a tree and laughing his head off. Edward appeared next, giving a playful shove to his brother.
"Yo Jazzy!" Emmett crowed with a bright smile. "Are you done being all doom and gloom, because I'd really like a wrestling match! Edward here cheats"—
"I do not!" Edward cut him off. "I use my mind-reading ability like you use your strength. It's not cheating," he explained with a roll of his eyes.
"Whatever," Emmett said with a shrug before turning back to me. "So, what do you think?"
What did I think? I wanted to—no, I didn't. "Leave me alone, I don't want to fight with you. Can't you see I'm trying to enjoy some peace and quiet here?" I asked them irritably.
"Man Jasper, what's got your knickers in a twist?" Emmett replied with a frown. "You're being more moody than Eddy here, and that's saying something!"
Edward gave a hiss as I responded, "Nuthin's wrong so just leave me be, alright? Just because I don't wanna wrestle with you, doesn't mean there's somethin' wrong!"
"Jasper, dude, relax," Edward then said. "Emmett's not just talking about right now. You've been getting more and more moody and distant with us for months now. What gives?"
I growled at them, not wanting to answer. "Leave!" I roared. I normally wouldn't have been so harsh, but I hated spending any length of time around Edward anymore since he could read my mind. I didn't need him to know what I was thinking.
"What are you hiding Jasper?" Edward asked with a suspicious look, and I gave a hiss of frustration.
"Haven't you ever heard of privacy Edward?" I snapped. "Just go and leave me in peace!"
Edward glared at me while Emmett said, "Come on Edward, let's leave little miss prissy to herself."
I snarled at the insult and threw a rock at his stupid head. It hit and he immediately turned and gave a snarl of his own as he glared at me. He crouched down as though ready to pounce and I immediately readied myself for his attack.
Edward, sensing the fight though, immediately grabbed hold of Emmett's arm and dragged him away. "Come on Emmett, he's not worth it." Emmett continued to glare at me, but he allowed himself to be dragged away.
Jeez, didn't they understand that I didn't want to be bothered? Why did they have to be so damn annoying? I just wanted to be left alone, I thought as I punched a hole through a tree.
That's it, it has to be soon! I have to leave! I don't belong here! I don't!
I refrained from making a decision though because I could not allow Alice to see. She would try and stop me, and I knew she would succeed. No, it would have to be last minute. Yes, it would have to be last minute and it would have to be soon.
My heart clenched in pain once more at the thought of leaving the Cullens, of leaving Alice, but I ignored it. They were better off without me. They knew that, and eventually Alice would too.
A/N: So, what do you think? Like? No like? PLEASE REVIEW!
Whole story is already written and I will post one chapter a day as usual. There will be nine chapters. For you first time readers, know that this is my fourth story in a series. While you don't have to read the others to understand what's going on, it will help you understand the relationships more and some of the references the characters make to past events.