Whoever said to follow your dreams never warned about was waiting for you on the other side. I followed my dreams. Right into heartbreak.
No one ever warns you for that. No one ever goes, "Hey, don't just blindly follow your heart. It'll end up in a million tiny pieces." I wish they would though. I wish someone would have warned me.
As I ran blindly, the scene played before me again and again. I had followed InuYasha instinctively and innocently, just wanting to be near him. It was then that I had caught him kissing Kikyo. Again. I had fled from them immediately, not wanting to see anymore. Tears were already making their way down my cheeks as I tripped my way through the forest.
As I fell for what seemed to be the tenth time, I stayed there, not bothering to get up from the cold, damp ground. I had been betrayed for the last time. I couldn't bear to go through this again. With a saddened conviction, I realized I had to break my promise and go home, never to return to the two-faced hanyou.
I felt sorrow for the others. Sango, my sister. Miroku, my brother. Shippo, my adopted son. I was sick of everything. Everything that InuYasha had put me through and forced me to feel. I didn't want to leave, but only because of my family this time. My love for InuYasha didn't dissipate in the slightest, but it pained me so much to look at it in the same light as before…so I didn't…I couldn't.
Didn't anyone ever realize I was tired of being used? Of just being the copy, the shard detector? Why did they always watch and never help? Why was I being hurt so?
I pulled my head from where it rested on my knees and turned my tear filled eyes up to look at the regal demon in silent shock. Sesshomaru stood before me, looking as magnificent as always, his gold eyes studying me intently. White hair blowing in the breeze, he remained where he was, not thrusting his claws through my abdomen as I had expected he would. I didn't dare open my mouth for fear that he would decapitate me for annoying him. I had nothing to say anyway.
"Miko," Sesshomaru repeated, his monotone voice giving away nothing. However, I could tell by the way his youki pulsed around him that he did not appreciate having to repeat himself.
"Yes?" I squeaked, watching the daiyoukai warily. Knowing that he could easily dismember me in the blink of an eye, I was not willing to take any chances where this demon was concerned.
"You are not with the half-breed," Sesshomaru said.
I momentarily wondered why he had bothered to state something so obvious. The thought didn't last long though, being replaced by intense anger. "Why should I be with that lying, pathetic excuse of a half-demon?"
I couldn't really tell because his face remained as masked as always, but I believe that I shocked the youkai with my outburst. He didn't move, didn't even twitch a muscle. Which I mean really, why just stand by me when it was completely obvious I wanted to be left alone? "If you are looking for InuYasha, he's somewhere in the forest over there," I said, jerking my thumb to my right.
"This Sesshomaru does not search for the whereabouts of the half-breed," Sesshomaru said. In a blur, he was next to me, gripping my arm and pulling me to my feet. "This one has decided that taking you will be greatly beneficial."
"No!" I protested. "Trust me; I am totally not worth it. All I have to defend myself with are some flimsy arrows." I will not lie. I panicked. I would have said anything to try and escape the situation I was in, but it was also true. My self-esteem had absolutely plummet. I truly did find myself worthless.
"This Sesshomaru finds you worthy enough to take into his care. You can detect the jewel shards, can you not?" Sesshomaru asked, keeping a firm hold on my arm.
"Why does it matter, I refuse to be another shard detector!" I screamed, struggling now. I felt his claws cut into my skin, but still I did not give in. I was not going to be taken into the custody of another arrogant Taisho youkai! My panic increased, not only for fear of my physical well-being but for my mental well-being as well. I was NOT going to become another shard detector. I was NOT going to be Sesshomaru's little slave or toy.
Sesshomaru ignored me as I struggled, screaming at the top of my lungs. He picked me up as a cloud of youki formed beneath us. "You will be useful where this one is concerned. Any arguments you may attempt to make will be fruitless." I screamed unintelligibly in response.
I tried to push myself out of his arms, but suddenly we were in the air, the trees beneath us becoming ants on the horizon. I shrieked in surprise and clung closer to Sesshomaru, afraid of plummeting to my death. How likely was it that both brothers would try to use me and my unique power? Apparently, very likely. It must have been their dog demon nature or something. I thought dogs were loyal, but their repeated use and abandonment of me made me think otherwise.
"Let me go," I commanded. Anywhere would be better than in his arms…well, arm.
"If this Sesshomaru releases you, you will surely fall to your death," he replied.
"And I will have no regrets," I snapped bluntly. "I told you, I don't want to be anyone's shard detector!" My fear for my physical well-being completely melted away. As sick as it was to say, I truly would rather die than become simply another object to anyone like I was to InuYasha.
"Then you will watch over this one's ward," Sesshomaru suggested. He really just wanted me to find the shards for him, I could tell, but he was willing to give me another job as an excuse. Yup, always a sly one. I was willing to play along. For the moment at least. I would rather escape with both my mind and body if at all possible. For now, this would have to do. Though I was willing to die, I would prefer not to.
"Babysit...Rin...?" I wanted to make sure I had heard him right before I actually agreed to follow him anywhere.
"Call it what you want." Typical of him to say something like that. The way he spoke annoyed me. I held back my irritation. There was still a chance he would dismember me or something of the sorts. I was sure that would be a much more painful death than simply falling from a great height.
Well, at least one good thing came out of this. I would get to see Rin. We landed quickly but with a grace I had never seen the likes of before. Well, that was until Sesshomaru dumped me onto the ground. "Hey!" I brushed myself off. And here I was, already being treated like a damn object. I couldn't believe he literally dropped me onto the ground like he had.
"Rin." Sesshomaru didn't even other looking in my direction at my outburst. His eyes were focused elsewhere.
At the sound of her lord's voice, the girl came bounding over, her excitement nearly palpable. "Yes, milord?"
The girl spotted me then, giggling. She came closer, her hands behind her back as she continued to laugh quietly. "What are you doing here, Lady Kagome?"
I didn't want to tell her the one she adored so much was just taking advantage of me, so I used the inane excuse Sesshomaru had given me. "I'm here to watch you, Rin." Oh kami, it sounded even stupider coming out of my mouth. Sesshomaru was clearly capable of watching and caring for Rin on his own. In fact, I would have to argue that he was the most capable of doing so.
"So you'll play with Rin?" Rin squealed.
I nodded, smiling widely. She was so cute! "Yeah, Rin. What do you want to play?"
"Rin likes to pick flowers," the little girl stated, already pulling on my hand. "Rin thinks the flowers are very pretty." Hmmm…so Rin was still speaking in third-person. And I was positive the habit would not be broken as long as she was around Sesshomaru, as he talked the same way. It seemed more annoying when he did it. Maybe because he was an adult and Rin was a child. I got to my feet swiftly, following her into the field of luscious flora. I gasped audibly at what I saw. Lavish emerald grass carpeted the earth, dozens of species of flowers dotting the expanse, their rainbow shades lighting up the landscape.
"Isn't it beautiful? Rin found it yesterday," Rin informed me, her smile never wavering.
"Yes," I responded, agreeing with her. "It is beautiful." In fact, I couldn't believe my eyes. This was perhaps one of the, if not the, most beautiful things I had ever seen.
Rin's smile grew, and she led me over to the largest patch of foliage, her fingers picking at a bright red flower. "Which one do you think is the prettiest?"
I glanced side to side, scanning the meadow for that one special flower, the one that would call out to me as the prettiest of them all. I found it close by, growing among a group of blue blossoms. I approached it slowly, trying to make my way to it without crushing any of the other flowers. I, of course, failed, which was upsetting, but it couldn't be helped. When I reached it, I plucked it from the ground, trying not to ruin its velvet soft petals. The stunning flower was a deep, royal violet, yellow speckles decorating its wide top.
I handed the gorgeous object to Rin. "I think this one is the prettiest."
Rin grinned as she took the flower, eyeing it. "Rin thinks so, too. Can Rin give this to Lord Sesshomaru?"
My good mood faded considerably. I didn't think the man who had kidnapped me deserved such a lovely blossom, but how could I deny the little girl? I sighed. "Alright, Rin. Give him the flower." I wondered why she would ask for my permission in the first place. Wasn't it her decision? Oh, well I was caring for her now…Maybe that was the reason she asked me?
She scampered off with me following behind hesitantly. I watched her from a distance as she handed Sesshomaru the flower, beaming when he accepted the gift. She giggled happily and ran to where Jaken was scolding Ah-Un. Ah ignored the imp, choosing to eat instead, and Un bared his teeth in a snarl. Jaken seethed silently, his expression softening as he caught sight of the energetic girl. No one could resist her charm it seemed.I noticed Sesshomaru glance at me out of the corner of his eye, tucking the flower into his haori.
I let out a heavy breath as I sat down, positioning myself so that I was near the group but not so near that I truly felt a part of it. So much had changed in a few hours, and I just hoped that there was still hope left, that I could be something more than just a shard detector.