Beta'd by my sis in spirit the lovely TwiDi

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Happy New Year to all of you! I've emerged from my sick bed (damn flu) to give you the epilogue...I hope you like this one I'm a bit nervous about it.

The next Christmas….

"It's like a mini blond fro. I mean, I've never seen a kid with that much hair," Dad grumbles, taking in his one week old grandson.

"Well, you've seen the Father's hair," my smart-assed fiancés jokes.

"Oh, hush! My grandbaby is the cutest baby behind my own two ever born," Mom argues, taking little Ambrose into her arms.

"Please, I still can't believe they named the poor kid Ambrose. I mean, seriously! What were they smoking?" I coo at the poorly named baby, shaking my head at the moniker my quirky sister and her hippy husband labeled their child with.

"I'm still sorry that our wedding had to be postponed," Edward whispers into my hair.

"It's not your fault, hun," I assure him. Our plan to be married December seventeenth was foiled when Alice's water broke in the bridal limo on the way to the church. Needless to say, instead of tying the knot, I ended up cutting my nephew's cord wearing scrubs over my silky, lacy bridal undies.

Jasper didn't make it to the hospital on time. Instead of getting into a car when he got the call that she was in labor, his dumb-ass ran out the doors and took off on foot to the hospital. Sadly, he made a wrong "short cut" turn and ended up lost in the woods surrounding Forks. Dad, Edward and Jake Black found him late sitting in the woods telling the trees and woodland creatures that weren't terrified off about his new baby being born, trying to get them to help him find the road. I call him a dumb-ass because he had his cell phone on him the whole time, and never thought to call and ask for help.

"Well, at least you were able to reschedule as quickly as you did." Mom smiles again, not sure if it was because she was finally marrying me off, or because little Ambrose passed gas. That kid has some killer gas.

"I think Pastor Webber thought it for the best," Grandpa jokes, "he thought you two were going to live in sin forever. He was happy to get that off his soul before retiring." He laughs at his own lame joke.

"I think he was just sad that Alice ran off to Vegas and married Jasper instead of being married in the church. You know the Pastor baptized both of you, I think, with all his kids, he couldn't wait to one day be the one to handle your marriage ceremony." Mom kisses the side of my head.

"I think getting married on New Year's day is a great idea, starting off a new year with a new married life." Edward, my sweet Edward, was getting ready to start his justification for a midnight service again. "At the stroke of midnight Bella will become my wife, a new bride, a new life and a new year."

"Edward, I still don't know how you expect us old folks to be able to stay awake for the service," Dad tells him, this is their one bone of contention, the time of our wedding.

"I think it's perfect," I assure my honey bunches with a kiss to his chin, his manly studly soon to be mine forever, eat that, bitches, chin.

"Yeah, yeah, we get it, pretty boy is perfect," Gramps jokes, "give it six months when you have your first marital spat, then let's see if you are calling him perfect. Your Grandma, the loving saint that she was, could become an outright shrew during our fights. I'll love that woman forever and a day, but I swear, her head spun and pea soup came flying out when she was in a fighting mood."


"It was a beautiful ceremony, honey." Esme Cullen, my now Mom-in-law crushes me in a hug. "When the pair of you get back from the oh-so-secret honeymoon, we have to get together. I'll cook us a big meal and the four of us can have some family bonding time." I hug her back, so happy I didn't get one of those mother-in-laws that drive you batty.

"I agree, I feel like while we know you, Bella, we haven't really gotten to know you as well as we could. With all of us working so much, well, you know how it goes." My sweet, I know where my new hubby got his hotness from; father-in-law gives me a side hug. They talk like we don't have dinner with them at least once a week.

"Come, wife, dance with me." Edward pulls me away, and I giggle as he drags me to the dance floor.

"Why, husband, so nice of you to ask me to dance in such a caveman way. Are you going to grunt and then go off to forage food for us? I think Jasper has some woodland friends that might make us a plentiful amount of meat for the winter." Edward laughs so hard he snorts.

"Mrs. Cullen, tell me how does a nice warm vacation in Hawaii sound? I know, it's a little cliché for a honeymoon, but with short notice…" he trails off and I squeal bouncing up and down.

"Aloha, baby! I've been wanting to go to Hawaii since I first saw Gidget Goes Hawaiian back when I was a kid. Will you be my Moon Doggy?"

"You, my love, are insane," he tells me, kissing my nose.

"And you, Mr. Cullen, love of my life, husband both in name and in my heart, love my insanity." I wink. "It's because you are just as crazy."

"Too true, Mrs. Cullen, you are my soul mate both in life and craziness."

"I'm just glad we're not Alice and Jasper crazy," I tell him, looking over at my sister and her husband.

"Oh, come on, Bella, he wore his "formal" chaps to the wedding and she keeps smacking his ass in public, in front of her parents. We are so not near their level of crazy."

"Hey, at least he wore pants underneath the chaps." I argue, trying to keep a serious face.

"And my Aunt Grace remembered to put in her teeth, Bella." I roll my eyes. His Aunt Grace was busy trying to get Grandpa Hank to be her fourth husband. Too bad husband three was busy sleeping off the champagne in the chair beside her.

"So, clearly crazy attracts crazy, and it is clearly genetic." I nod and give him another wink. "Want to go practice making our own genetic contribution to our crazy family?" Edward clearly only needed to be asked once, lifting me—wedding dress and all—over his shoulder and running out the Church reception hall.


"You just jingled my bells all the way," I tell him, laying in the afterglow of our marital consummation sexy times.

"A Santa has his responsibilities to his wife you know. I have to jingle your bells, and show you a ho, ho, ho of a good time at least three times a night."

"Hmm… don't you mean I need to be your good little ho, ho, ho three times a night?" I lean down and kiss his sweaty naked chest. His seconds ago flaccid dick was starting to raise itself up to its ready, willing and able position, no mistletoe required.

"I have to agree, Mrs. Cullen-Claus, I enjoy when you are my good little ho, ho, ho. However, I love it even more that you are my sweet New Year's bride."

"Oh, you are so getting laid again," I tell him, jumping up on him. "Let's get this one horse sleigh into the barn, Santa," I tell him, patting his super amazingly talented dick.

"Gitty up," he jokes, smacking my ass.

"Ohhhh, hell yes!" I scream out when he hits it just right.

"Ung! I love you, baby."

"Love you too." I assure him between gasps of air.

"Happy New Year, love," He whispers against my breast.

"Oh, that it is, Edward, that it is."

And that is all she wrote for this one my lovelies! I wonder if reviews are a cure for the flu, wanna help me test that theory ;0)?

For readers of To The Extreme, the next chapter will be posting once my mind functions well enough to finish writing it it should be next week or early the week after then we'll go back to the 2x a month schedule.

For people looking for a great read here are two rec's for stories that kept my interest and really touched me in some way:

The Bandits of Bennett Circle by samekraemer story id 8277017 (complete) The quiet neighborhood of Bennett Circle is being terrorized. When Edward Masen becomes the latest victim, he determines he's going to catch the culprits. Who he encounters in his quest isn't at all what he expected. AU/AH/OOC. Canon couples with a few surprises, but nothing too surprising. Rated M.

The Stench Wars by BookishQua story id 7146068 (complete) Edward returns from Italy to find Jacob Black has become Bella's BFF and is interfering with their relationship. Jacob Black is never going to know what has hit him. (best use of the Volturi and get rid of Jake story EVER!)