After a rather fun filled morning, Renée eventually left. I was sad to be left alone after such a fun time. Well, as they say, all things must come to an end. Does that apply to us? Are we really over? I still can't believe that I saw you. If only you gave me time to explain. If only you hadn't run away. Why did you run? Was it because of Renée? I can only imagine what you saw. It was me, laughing and sitting with another beautiful woman, one who was laughing as well. And then perhaps you saw how at ease I was with her arm on mine. But of course that was only a friendly gesture. I had told a story of some friends back home and it made her laugh.
Do you remember that story? The one when I was 16 and my mother had discovered me and the first girl I ever kissed. We were behind the house, under the big willow tree. It was late and I had just gotten home from going to the fair with her. As she walked me home, I grabbed her small hand and she held on all the way to my house. As we said our awkward goodbyes, she looked at me once the silence came over us. I think it was I who leaned in first, maybe it was her, who knows? But before I knew it, her lips were pressed against mine. That was when my mother came out and discovered us. Since then, the crazy bat was convinced that I was the crazy one. Silly old woman
But I am losing focus. You are on my mind, plaguing my thoughts. I want to look for you; I need to look for you. But where would I start? Oh, Mim. Why did you run?
"Would you have ran away?" Kim asked Shego from the couch.
Shego, who was in the kitchen looked at Kim. "What do you mean?"
The redhead stood from the couch and again took a seat at the bar. The diary was in her hands, which she had just read a page. She couldn't resist it. She was alone on the couch while Shego busied herself with breakfast. "If you were Mim and saw Stella just as she did, would you have ran away?" Kim repeated.
"Hmm. I'm not sure." She then pictured herself in Stella's shoes. What would she do if she saw Kim at some coffee shop? Sitting and laughing with that buffoon of hers, smiling into each other's eyes, and her hand on his arm. Unconsciously, the cup Shego had in her hand broke.
"Shit!" Shego immediately dropped the broken cup and checked her hand; Kim was there in a flash also checking her hand. "I'm alright Princess, no cuts, just a broken cup."
Shego pursed her lips. She didn't want to admit that she had made herself jealous. Now that she thought about it, she felt ridiculous. "It was nothing. I just, underestimated my grip." She shooed the red head away. "Now get outta here before you step on the shards. Let me clean."
Kim rolled her eyes. Why did Shego have to be so difficult? As Shego busied herself, Kim continued their conversation. "I would have ran. After causing the one you love so much pain? Seeing them happy with someone else? That tells you that they are better off without you. I would've ran, I would've ran to make sure she stayed happy."
"But what if she wanted you? Still loved you? Just as we know that Stella still loved Mim." Shego asked quietly, pausing in her cleaning.
Kim leafed through the diary, thinking of Shego's words. "Maybe Mim didn't want to face that. How could someone still love you after you caused them so much pain?"
Shego emptied out the dust pan in to the trash. Then she washed her hands. Finishing with breakfast, Shego met Kim by the bar. She grasped the younger girl's hands into her own. "I've cause you a lot of pain. Always fighting, taunting, I'm evil Kim. How can you love me?"
Kim, embarrassed turned away. She avoided the question. "I didn't say I love you."
Shego smirked. "I can see it in your eyes. But, if you want, I'll say it first." She lifted Kim's hands to her lips then gave a fake, overly dramatic sigh. "I, Shego, love Kim Possible."
After a moment of shock, Kim laughed. Shego laughed with her. "That's it? No long heartfelt speech of how you've loved me since you saw me? Dreamt of me every night, yearned for me? Nothing?"
The thief only laughed harder. "I'm no romantic Kimmie. I'll tell my feeling sweet, short and to the point. Don't like it? Don't make me say it."
"You're right though. I think I do love you. But even with the pain you've caused me, I'd still do everything again."
The hero gave the thief a small smile. "You're absolutely worth it. On the outside it may seem like you don't care for anything or anyone, but inside, once you've let someone in, you're extraordinary. Now that you've allowed me in, I don't ever want to go."
If Kim had been someone else, Shego would've laughed. If Kim had been someone who wasn't her equal, she'd push them aside. If Kim weren't so honest and open and so full of pure love, Shego would've told her how corny she was. But as Kim spoke, pouring her heart out, she felt her own beat faster. Never in her life had anyone been so sincere to her. She understood Kim's answer completely. Kim was worth it, and she'd make sure the redheaded teen knew it. "Oh Kim..." Shego sighed. "Thank you." She then leaned down and kissed her new love.
I feel like some poor mutt. Every day for the last week, I have sat religiously at the cafe where I saw you last. I have some insane notion that if I remain here, there is some chance that you will happen to walk by and see me alone. You would see me then walk over to say hello. Or as I imagine it most of the time, I will see you first and run will all my might, only to throw myself into your arms and claim your lips.
Renée thinks that you are not worth it. You ran from me, as she seems to enjoy reminding me. She does not seem to understand how deep our love runs. How could I forget everything we had when you are so close to me?
Right now, as I write under the shade of an umbrella on the cafe table, I look at towards the crowd, hoping to see your gorgeous mane of red. I have always loved your hair. Not loved... love. I love you hair Mim. I love you smile, your brains, your eyes...I just love you. Oh, how my heart aches terribly so.
I wonder how you are. Have you left Paris? Is that why I have yet to see you once again?
Oh my, I see Renée coming towards me. She usually comes to bring me home if I have stayed her for more than a few hours. Has it been that long already?
I hate to admit this, but I must.
I feel myself slipping Mim... without you, I have nothing. I am nothing. Just as Odysseus, I am Nobody.
She's here now, watching me with a sad frown on her face as I write these last lines. I wonder what she would say if she read the words I wrote. Would she see me as a fool in love? A poor, desperate sap?
Mim, I love you, I always will.
"Should we keep going?" Kim asked from her spot on the couch...which just happened to be on top of Shego.
Kim rolled her eyes. Though she would never admit it, Shego loved listening to Kim as she read. Her voice was filled with emotion. It made Shego want to kiss her. "Well, aren't you going to read?"
"Maybe I will if you stop daydreaming." This time Shego rolled her eyes. Then she took the diary and read.
They say that you never forget your first love...whoever "they" are, I would like to beat them bloody senseless. I have not forgotten you. I have however, forgotten those whom I have met before you. But as I spend more days without you and with Renée, I wonder if I ever will.
She is so kind.
Whenever I speak of you, how you brightened my world, gave my heart purpose to beat, she listens. I can tell it hurts her. But some things need to be said.
"Why do you cling to a love that may never come back?"
This is what she asked me. Thankfully we were lying in bed; she must've thought I was asleep. I did not answer, simply because, I am not sure what to say. I'm holding on, Mim. But sometimes, people let go. I wonder if it is time for me to let go...
Would you hate me if I let go of our love and found another? Would you hate me even more if you knew that I was beginning to think that Renée was the other? Mim, I think she could be it. I could never love her as much as I love you. No one could ever hold my heart as you have. Oh Mim, as I think more and more of "if" and wondering about your own feelings, the hole in my chest grows. All I want is your love again. I want the pain to stop.
"Oh Shego...there're tear drops on the page."
I desperately want the pain to stop. How foolish I've become, how sad. I am only a shell of what I used to be. Why must these feelings of love torment me so? I've heard the music, read the stories and poems. The majority seems to think love is alive, beautiful, and once I believed them with every fiber of my being. The minority had placed the blame of their pain on love. Mim, because of our pain, your rejection, I side with those who believe love will always lead to pain. Maybe it is because of my thoughts that I have yet to Renée a chance. It has almost been a year since you and I were happy. Mere weeks since I saw you run from me. Maybe it is time I moved on...
"It is time I've moved on." Stella declared as she finished writing. All her time spent, time that wasn't spent with Renée, was spent by Stella wallowing in her pain and loss. What she just wrote was true. It was time to move on.
Could she give her heart to a woman who had waited for so long? Did said woman still want her? Had she waited too long?
The next day, Stella met Renée at their usual stop in the morning, the cafe. From there, their day would begin with some coffee. As they drank, they would walk over to the cafe and eat a light breakfast. Stella would then walk Renée to her art classes. Renée would smile shyly at Stella then quickly zoom in and give her a right peak on her cheek. The kiss made Stella blush furiously and she would quickly walk away. The butterflies that came into her stomach, the jolts she felt down her spine, they were a sign that Stella like Renée. Stella liked Renée.
"Je t'aime." Stella said, her words slipping out from her lips. Renée only dropped her baguette, which made Stella realize what she said. Je t'aime wasn't "I like you" it was "I love you".
"Cher... I like you too. That is what you meant, oui?"
Thank god, Stella thought. She laughed in relief. "Oui! I'm sorry. I was not thinking clearly. My French is still a bit off."
The French woman laughed as well. "Oh ma Cherie, how you amuse me has no ends."Her smiling face turned serious. "But did you mean it? Do you... like me? Are we giving us a chance?" The Frenchwoman's hands held Stella's. Her grip was tight and warm, hopeful.
Stella gave her a somewhat sad smile as she brought the hands to her lips. "I have been in pain for far too long. When I see you, I see the possibility of smiling again. When I'm with you, my pain goes away. I want this pain to stop." Stella admitted as tears came to her eyes. "I want to forget."
She opened her eyes as she felt Renée 's hand on her cheek, her thumb wiping away her tear. "Stella... I will never be able to erase your past love with Mim. I can only be your new start. But I will be happy to. I truly admire you Stella. Your beauty, your strength. It's who you are. Mim is a part of that. Don't forget her Cher, embrace that part of you, and move on."
"I will. Please, be with me? I cannot promise a lifetime, but I can promise you that I am done dwelling on the past. I'll remember, and I will move on, but hopefully, if you find it in your heart to accept my broken one, you will be by my side."
Renée glowed as she smiled. "You silly American. I have been by your side this long already. Why would I leave?"
Overjoyed, her heart soaring for the first time in a year, Stella threw herself into Renée's arms and kissed the Frenchwoman.
It has been awhile... I'm unsure of what to say. I'll start simple. I am with Renée. I'm sorry Mim, I've moved on. I have to admit, these last few weeks have been great. Renée has been so sweet, so gentle, nothing has really changed. She is so patient. During our short time together, we've only shared a few kisses; our time together is spent in each other's arms. We listen to the radio, go to live shows, plays, or just sit at home and read. Sometimes I will read aloud, sometimes she will. Other times, we read our own books while we sit or lean against the other. During these times, I love to watch Renée as she reads.
When a particular event happens, you can see it grip her. She curls up into herself and bits her lip. The sight is mesmerizing. When she's surprised, a soft gasp escapes her and I feel desire rush through me. I quickly look away to resist such desires. But I always look back when I feel her hand reach for mine. At these times, I've learned what to do. I reached for her and pulled her to my chest. Such situation calls for immediate care. Her favorite character has either died, lost their lover, or some other unfortunate event has befallen on them. There, curled onto my chest, she sighs as I begin to run my hand down her back. In moments like those, I realize how our roles have switched. When I was so weak, so broken, she took care of me. Now, I realize that she is like you. She wants to be taken care of. I am the one who likes to care for others, so we work out.
Today, she spent the afternoon reading The Phantom of the Opera. I am not so interested in that novel. Apparently, it is her favorite book and she will always cry for Erik. I do not understand why, but I cannot complain. I love holding her, comforting her. It makes me think I have regained some of my old strength.
Because she lives so close, Renée spends most nights here. Again, I cannot complain. After a year of being alone in my own bed, having someone to hold me at night is a luxury. I don't feel so alone. My world is a little brighter, my burden lighter. I'm happy. Weeks ago, I was on my way. Now, I can honestly say that Renée has made me smile again.
As Renée prepared dinner, I left. Not far, just by the apartments. I walked around and thought of our last conversation in the Middleton Park. I went there to say goodbye. To let my feelings for you lay to rest. I'm happy with Renée and I'd like to stay that way. I sat there and thought. I didn't spend too much time there. Just enough to say a silent goodbye before heading back home. In here, I'd like to actually write out my goodbye. Closure, as Renée called it. She's here with me now as I write. We are sitting on my bed; her back against the headboard, my back is against her front. Her arms are wrapped around my waist; her head rests on my shoulder. Her eyes are shut and her legs have come up to cocoon me in her warmth. If she were to look and read what I write, I wouldn't mind in the slightest. That is how comfortable I feel with her. So without any more delay, here it goes...
Mim, beautiful, kind, intelligent, Mim. I write this in the hopes that this is the last page I shall ever write about you. What we had was beautiful, I miss you every day. But I've finally become able to think of you without sorrow. I can smile without guilt. I can smile and laugh at the times we had, the love we shared. It was beautiful and I will never forget it. I'll never forget you. Here, I lay my feelings for you to rest. I will move on, I will let go. A dull pain goes through by heart as I write this, but the feeling of Renée's arms keeps me strong. I will be happy Mim. I hope that you will be too. I love you Mim, I always will. The love I have has just changed... goodbye Mim. Maybe someday, well see each other. Maybe, we will be friends. Maybe, maybe, maybe...
"I can't believe it..." Shego said as the diary slipped a little in her hands. "I can't believe it!" Anger was making its way into her voice. "Why aren't they together?! What the fuck! This is bullshit!"
Kim quickly sat up and embraced her lover. "Shego, calm down. We still have some more to read. Maybe it works out." Before she had Even finished what she was saying, Shego was shaking her head.
She lifted up the diary before throwing it on the coffee table. "That's it. Small diary, small amount of entries. Bullshit."
The redhead quickly grabbed the diary to verify the thief's words. She leafed through the book and saw that the rest of the pages were indeed blank...all except the last page. Her brows furrowed in confusion as she grabbed the green hued woman's attention. "Shego, look, there's another entry." Before Shego could grab it, Kim began reading it.
Stella, I hope you won't mind if I use a page of this. I know how you treasure this diary. I read what you wrote... the last thing you wrote. You may deny it, but I know you still love her. What you wrote was beautiful. I can only wish you could talk about me that way. Perhaps you already have. Remember, I've only read the last page. However, the temptation to read this whole diary was almost too much to resist, but I did. For you Stella.
But today, as I watch you sleep fitfully, when hours ago you were smiling, I've come to realize something. I will never make you completely happy. During the days I may take the pain away, but at night I can't. No matter how tight I hold you, you will remember Mim, even in sleep.
I have truly enjoyed our time together. I am in love. You are truly an amazing woman. How anyone could not fall in love with you is impossible. You are so strong, start, and so so kind. For those things about you, I can rest knowing that you will be okay. Okay for what? The day we part ways. We may be together now, but Stella, you must know I am not the one for you. Eventually you will come to your senses.
I admit that I have been selfish. I kept you to myself. Hopefully, this "closure" will make you remember who truly made you alive.
Stella, I won't say I love you. If I do, I won't be able to find it in my heart to let you go. I adore what we have. On the day were part, I swear we will part as friends. And on that day, you better find your beloved. I saw how broken she was the day she saw us. She still loves you, even now as I write, as you sleep against me. From what you've told me, I truly believe that you two are meant for each other. I await the day Fate intervenes and brings the two of you together.
Good night Stella. Sleep, knowing that soon, all will be right in the world. I will make sure of it.
"Still think she's a bitch?"
Shego bit her lips as she pouted. She had to admit, Renée wasn't a bad person. Then again, she hated being wrong. Instead of a real answer, the thief only scoffed.
Kim rolled her eyes. "That was really sweet. I wonder if they ever found each other again..."
"If this were a movie or a fictional book, I'd say 'of course they did'. But it's not. I'd like to think they did. Stella deserves love, so does Mim."
"But what about Renée?"
"They'd still be friends." Shego said, continuing her own thought out ending to the story. "Maybe one day, weeks later, Stella went to the market without Renée. As Fate would have it, Mim finally left her depressive funk and saw her there. Without Renée, Mim wouldn't run away. She would stay."
"Then they would start talking. They'd see how much they missed each other, how incomplete they were without the other." Kim finished, making Shego think that they weren't talking about Stella and Mim anymore.
Shego grabbed the hero's hand. "They'd fall in love." She leaned in towards Kim.
"Against all odds." Kim leaned in as well.
"A hero and a thief..."
"Just kiss me already."
Shego kissed her.
'Today, two years ago, we all received word that Kim Possible, teen hero, average girl, decided that she would retire while she went to college. Though our heartbreak was short lived. It was short lived because soon, we found ourselves bring protected by our heroine once again. Just as she did in high school, Kim Possible balanced schoolwork and her globetrotting. We owe our lives to her."
The speaker then smiled and chuckled. "Then, surprising us all. One year ago today, we hear the news that our young hero is in love, and that she has a new partner. No one saw it coming. Shego, longtime rival and the world's most dangerous criminal."
The crowd chuckled along. They all shared the same surprise. But honestly, it may have been the best thing that had happened to Team Possible.
"Not long after high school, Team Possible parted ways. But not for long, for when they united, the team had grown. Team Possible was no longer limited to Kim and Ron. The team had split and grown. Ron with a Japanese ninja, Yori and Kim with Shego. But that wasn't all. Following Shego, Drakken also joined Team Possible. Along with Wade Load, Drakken helped provided Team Possible with gear. I could be wrong, but ever since his joining of Team Possible, I daresay the man has become less blue."
More chuckles. A few snapshots. The man speaking cleared his throat and gave a genuine smile. It was time to say what he needed to say.
"A few days ago, after of year of this new life, two years with her true love, my daughter has told me the happiest news I could receive." Tears welled in his eyes as he removed his eye glasses. "My daughter is truly and deeply in love. And she's getting married. My little girl is getting married!" He looked towards his right as his wife came to his side and held his hand. She was smiling as well. Then there sons joined them. "I may be abusing my power by calling a press conference, but for all of those who stuck by me all these years, you know how I get when it comes to my little light. And if you happen to be watching, please, have the wedding here. This is your home. We're family." Then the mayor winked at the camera "The same goes for you Miss Possible...or should I say Kim?"
The mayor of Go City took a breath to say more but was interrupted when his cell phone began to ring. "I wonder who that could be." He muttered to himself. Looking at the screen he smiled. "My little light! Are you watching? See me waving?"
"Daddy, I love you, but what the hell are you doing!?"
"Is that my little girl?" The mayor's wife asked before taking the phone from him. "Firefly, you better get your as...butt down here so I can personally meet your fiancée! Plus we have a wedding to plan!"
In a lavish hotel somewhere in Europe, Shego kneaded her temples. She loved her parents but they were so dense! Shego fought to keep her temper down, Kim tried to help as she wrapped herself around her lover. "If you love me, really love me, you'd GET OFF OF TV!"
Angela Go only laughed. "Alright sweetheart, I'll call you tonight." She then hung up and waved to the crowd. "Thank you for your time. Sorry for getting off topic concerning my husband's upcoming election. To answer the main question of the day, we are fully supportive of gay marriage. Now if you'll excuse us, we have a wedding to plan." Mrs. Go smiled charmingly and ushered her family off the stage.
Back in Europe, Shego bring her head into Kim's neck. "I'm so embarrassed."
Kim laughed and ran her hand down Shego back. "You have to admit, that was really funny." Shego only snorted."But they really love you. You saw how happy your dad was, and your mom. They support us. I still can't believe his election led to our engagement the latest gossip. I can only imagine the calls I'll be getting once we head back." Until an hour ago, no one had known that Shego had proposed. Now, the world knew.
"Oh, I shouldn't have called him. You should've stopped me. Isn't that your job?"
"Whatever. You know I'm down chasing you around."
Shego gave her signature smirk. "That's right, now you're just trying to keep up."
Kim rolled her eyes and lightly pushed her fiancée. Her fiancée... the thought had a dopey grin making its way to her face. She was so happy, her life was incredible. And to think, it all started out with a diary. A diary had given her true love. The diary...
Her redhead pulled her closer and cuddled into her. "Do you think this is how Stella would have felt if she and Mim had gotten engaged that day at the park?"
Shego thought about it as she wrapped her arms around Kim. Without a doubt, Stella would've been just as happy as she was. "Definitely." She kissed the top of Kim's head. "She would've been with her true love. I know what that's like... and it's amazing. She would've been happy. Maybe she was."
The two women in love didn't really know what happened to the ancestors. They hoped for the best. In their hearts, they felt strongly that the two past loves did find each other again. Jonathon would have moved on, Renée would remain a close friend, and the lovers would've stayed in Paris. Which was where Shego had brought Kim to propose.
"Hey." Shego said softly. To which Kim looked at her.
"I love you."
Kim smiled. "I love you to Em."
Two women sat at a little cafe. One with a coffee, one with tea. They were laughing. Someone had just tried to engage one of them in conversation. He was interested. The one he was interested in wasn't. Her company had made a point of it as she stood up, leaned across the table, and kissed her company full on the lips. The man turned bright red, apologized and walked away. He wasn't the only one who was embarrassed.
"Stella! Why did you do that?"
"Oh, the fool was asking for it. People should know better than to try and steal my girl."
"You would be the expert at stealing."
Stella laughed. Mim was right. When it came to stealing, Stella did know her stuff. "Mim... I'm so happy we've started talking again. I know we aren't together but I..."
Mim interrupted her. "Stella I know. But I see how you are with her. She really is nice."
Stella nodded, smiling. "She is, which is why she gave this to me." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small box. At the sight of it, Mim's eyes widened. Her heart froze. Was Stella lost to her forever?
Stella rolled the box in her hand. "Just yesterday, she thrusted this into my hands. 'Do the right thing.' She said. And I am."
She got out of her seat and stood in front of Mim. "I'm sorry."
Mim let out a choked gasp, tears welled her eyes. This was it; Stella was gone forever to her. Her eyes followed Stella as she went down...down onto one knee. "Oh my god."
Stella gave her a smirk. "Miriam Ann Possible, I have spent most of my life in love with you. I spent a good 5 years trying to get you back. I never want to be without you. I love you and I have fallen madly in love with you." She opened the box and presented a ring to Mim. It had a silver band; right in the center was a light green heart. "Please, end my eternal suffering with just one word. Mim, will you marry me? Stand by me on my bad days, listen to the insults that spurt from my mouth, and allow me to cherish the best thing that had ever happened to me?"
Before she finished, Mim had tears falling freely down her face. "I don't deserve you; I've hurt you so much."
Steal shook her head. "I need you Mim. And believe it or not, you need me too. So go on, say it. I know you want to" she waggled her brows, making Mim laugh.
"Yes Stella, a thousand times yes!"
Looking like a blind man who had finally seen the sun, Stella leapt up from her place on the ground and gathered Mim in her arms. "I love you Mim, I always have, and I always will."
"I love you too Stella. Promise me, you'll never let go."
"I promise." Stella said. Her own face wet with tears. "In this life and the next, I shall always find my way back to you. No matter what."