BlackLynx17: This is like a story you've never read before. It's a story I've never read before until I wrote it. I want to say this will be short but I don't think it will be. I'm not trying to spoil anything so I'm not going to write a lot here.
This is a special story dedicated to all the losers in the world. It's Natsu's P.O.V. the whole story.
I am not a geek, I am a loser. Wearing glasses doesn't equal being a geek. I don't go around playing Dungeons and Dragons or rave about Star Trek to anyone in a foot radius, and I certainly do not play Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokémon, Digimon or whatever-mon. Now those kids are geeks. And I've never been attracted to any of their hobbies but maybe I should give being one a try, even geeks have some friends and a, albeit small, place at school; I, on the other hand, don't.
So I'm what they would call a 'loser' and occasionally even categorized as 'loner.' Don't ask me about the 'loser' nickname since I never got it (I don't really lose at anything, particularly because I don't actually play anything), but the 'loner' fits my description quite well. I'm the kid you'll see wandering about the campus by himself or with his head in a particularly interesting book at the library way in the back. My seat is always one by a window, and I make sure to blend into the background in Gym. You'd think if I blend in then logically no one would even be able to notice or torment me, right?... Wrong!
I would never be picked on…if I didn't own my very own, one-of-a-kind salmon colored hair. Easily could have been just that one smart, quiet kid in school (even though I'm not smart), the one no one remembers, if it wasn't for my hair. The color pretty much demands attention, you know. Worst of all, people start thinking that I'm some tough, outgoing kid, think I'm a rebel just for some stupid dyed hair. Well, those people are idiots. I didn't dye my hair, I'm not a rebel, salmon is my natural hair color. I dare anyone to go look at my birth certificate; Hair Color: SALMON.
Mine actually isn't the strangest hair color in school; there's also red, green, blue, even purple. Never seen rainbow though, it's usually taken as being homosexual, which, by the way, I'm not. So yeah, my life will probably be easier once I dye my hair a normal color…oh wait but I can't. Why? Because my true soul mate noticed me for it. She said and I quote "pink's such a pretty color." Obviously it's not pink, but we were just kids when she complimented me so I forgive her for it.
Anyway back to my current life, the loser in school with the bright, salmon hair and the dorky glasses. Who would ever in their right mind want to date me? No one that's who and I understand that. I haven't given up on love yet though, I can't. I don't want hundreds of girls liking me anyway, I only want one: Lucy Heartfilia. She wasn't always Captain of the Cheerleading squad or the most popular girl in school 3 times running, no. She used to be, and always will be, my Blond Angel, the girl who saved my life. Okay, okay not quite my life saver but just about the next big thing.
I'd never forget the day when I first met her, January 12th, right around sunset. I couldn't have been older than five, wait five and a half, when I lost the most precious thing in the world at the playground: my scarf. Scarf? What? Couldn't I have just bought another one? Not with the sentimental value bonus, no, and it's even more important now that Lucy's touched it. There I was sitting in the sandbox all by myself. The other kids had long gone home and the sun was setting…and I can't even remember why I was there. Maybe my father dropped me off while he went grocery shopping or something? Either way I was there, and I was all alone.
Adults passed by me frequently but none stopped to help. They mostly hurriedly looked about then scurried off, some even plugging their ears at my no doubt loud sobbing. None of them offered me any kind of help, didn't even try…but I would be thankful later for their neglect when an angel did finally answer my grief. I was rubbing sand and tears out my eyes when her voice called to me.
"Why are you crying?"
I looked up, seeing a blurry vision of girl in front of me. I had been crying hard for a good several minutes, my nose was runny, my eyes must have been bloodshot red and yet the girl didn't run away from me, she smiled.
"C-uz I-i c-cu-cuz I-" I stuttered, failing miserably to answer her sweet question. I don't know why but growing up I had a terrible stutter. Lucky for me I grew out of it or else I'd never hear the end of the insults at school. But back to the story.
The angel giggled at me, and it was a soothing melody to my ears. "Let's see," she mumbled to herself. The girl walked up to me and lifted up her dress, giving me a clear view of her panties, but before I could point it out to her she had covered my face with the cloth. She wiped away the dripping snot and crocodile tears from my face with her stunning, white dress. I almost began crying again at seeing her ruined clothes but I didn't have time to before she calmed me again. The girl looked at me and grinned.
"Much better, now I can see your face," she nodded approvingly at me.
And I could see hers. Boy could I see it, I'd never seen such bright, chocolate brown eyes in my life, and I probably never would see anything that would compare to them. I was star-struck by her beauty, I'd have been content to drink in the sight all night, and this was when we were kids. Now that she's grown up and fully matured…words can not express just what her allure does to the male population. I was so taken by her golden hair that day, it made me recall a picture book my father read me often, about a little, blond angel.
"Blond Angel," I called out to her. She gazed down and beamed at me.
"Blond Angel? No silly, my name's Lucy, Lu-cy. You try it." I shrugged back, hiding my face under my shirt.
"Don't tell me you can't say it?" The girl asked concerned.
I hastily shook my head side to side, I felt intimidated being around such a pretty girl…and embarrassed. Lucy pouted at me then sat in the sandbox, her legs touching mine.
"Repeat after me, lu," she annunciated.
I sat up straight, "lu"
"Now put it together."
"Lucy," I repeated, a little more confidently. Her face immediately brightened as she started clapping.
"I knew you could do it! Now what's your name?" My hands became clammy again as she looked at me expectantly.
"Um…"Fingers nervously started drawing forms in the sand as I looked anywhere but her.
"Um? Your name is Um?" I could tell she was trying to make me laugh. I shook my head side to side.
"Then what is it? If you don't tell me your real name, how will I know it?" Giggles followed her statement.
"N-Nat-su," I mumbled.
"Huh? Could you repeat that?"
I blushed. It took all my courage to say my name the first time and here she wanted me to say it again?
"NATSU!" I yelled. That was the first time I had spoken my name without stuttering.
"Natsu…Hi Natsu, I like your hair. Pink's such a pretty color." she mused, tugging on a wayward strand. Her hand immediately stopped its ministrations as she noticed more tears begin to well up in my eyes. There I was, the older of us (by a year I'd later find out) crying my sore, sand-filled eyes out.
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," her fingers weaved through my hair as she gently rubbed back and forth, giving me a guilty expression.
"I-it's n-not that! M-my h-hair is s-salmon!" As if stuttering wasn't bad enough I had begun hiccupping.
"I'm sorry, salmon not pink! I got it, please stop crying." I almost felt bad for letting such a little detail get to me when she had only been complimenting me. It was hard to cry when she asked so nicely.
"Good, now tell me Natsu, why are you crying here, all alone?" Lucy grabbed my hands from where they were rubbing at my eyes and placed them on her lap, trying to get me to focus I guess.
"My s-scarf," I mumbled.
"What?" she asked.
"I LOST MY SCARF!" I shouted.
"You lost your scarf? Have you tried looking for it?"
I shook my head.
"Well how do you expect to find it if you don't go looking for it?" Even as a child Lucy was a genius. Me on the other hand, I'm still as dumb as a sack of potatoes…or maybe a sack of rocks.
"What does your scarf look like?" Her hand was brushing away a few stray tears, about to fall down my cheeks. I rubbed my eyes again, but the more I rubbed though the more sand got in them.
"I-t's big, and l-long, and no co-colors." No matter how I rubbed, I just couldn't open my eyes to properly look at her. Lucy stood up from the sand box and looked around.
"Big, long, and no colors." she repeated to herself. I finally turned to her, as Lucy paused to hold out a hand to me, smiling warmly.
"Come on, let's look for it." I took it without a second's hesitation. I didn't even consider stranger danger or anything alike, she was my age, so I thought it didn't count. And I wouldn't mind it if Lucy did kidnap me.
"It's not here." We had spent hours, or at least a few several minutes, searching the tiny playground and hadn't come up with much more than a lost quarter. I fell down and started crying again.
"Don't cry Natsu, here I have something for you." My sobs instantly died down as I heard her shuffling about. She had tugged down her dress and taken out a bright, golden heart necklace.
"It may not be your scarf but I hope you'll like it," she said taking it off her neck, placing it instead on mine. "Let's see, it's long and big, not very colorless though," Lucy said tugging lightly on it to check it was secure. My hands unbelievingly stroked the cool metal, seeing my and Lucy's reflection unevenly across the surface.
"Look it even plays music!" Lucy added enthusiastically. She carefully opened the locket, soft notes escaping the small contraption. We sat there together for who knows how long, listening to the gentle tune, as I desperately tried to recall the familiar music's name.
"Thank you," I told her when the heart took to silence once more.
Lucy laughed, grinning ear to ear, her eyes squinted shut. "I could understand you that time!" she cheered. Heat rushed to my face as I just hid under my shirt. Just then lamp posts began turning on and the park became a little brighter.
"Oh, I need to be going home soon," she noticed. I nodded lazily even though I was overcome with distress. I didn't want her leaving, I wanted her to stay and play with me.
"OH! LOOK!" My heart practically jumped out of my chest as she stood and began pointing excitedly. I made a poor attempt to follow her but ended up falling right back on my butt as Lucy ran over to the other side of the park, leaving me to sit alone.
"Lucy, Lucy!" I yelled for her, my tone taking on a frantic undertone as I heard her footsteps move farther away.
"Is this your scarf, Natsu? It was hanging on a tree over there," Relief washed over me as I caught up and heard her inquiring voice not too far off. I nodded nimbly as my scarf came into view. Lucy just smirked triumphantly and wrapped the scarf hastily around my neck. To this day I still don't know how it ended up getting all the way over there.
"I'm glad we were able to find it before I had to go," she softly whispered, out of breath and patting my scarf into place. I then picked up her heart necklace and held it towards her.
"No, you keep it, if you ever feel like crying listen to the song and remember to be strong," she said hitting her chest. I'd have laughed if I hadn't already cried my eyes out. I nodded, be strong, be strong. Lucy left then and my father came several minutes later. Till this day I still wear my father's scarf, with Lucy's heart necklace snuggly tucked underneath. She doesn't know about it though, she doesn't even remember me. I was "reunited" with Lucy in middle school, when she walked right past me and didn't even look my way. Maybe I was an idiot to think she'd still remember me…an idiot. Maybe I should add "idiot" to the list of things I ought to be called. But then again an idiot by any other name is just as hopeless.
Lucy hadn't changed at all, by the way, she was still smart and kind to others, she still had that same smile that could brighten the worst of days. And I still loved her. For seven years now I have been watching Lucy. Watching, never interacting. It's sad really, somewhere over the years I'd turned into a stalker. Not a major one, like following her home and finding the smallest bits of information, more like knowing all her classes and what route she walks home. Seven years now, and I wasn't planning on adding another. It was our senior year; neither of us had ever dated before, even though more than half the population at school did. We were perfect for each other, perfect.
What about me being an idiotic loser, her stalker? The difference was I would use what little brains I had to win her. Lucy was a kind person, extremely nice and thoughtful, almost to a fault. She refused guys in the nicest way possible; all I had to do was think of a way she wouldn't, couldn't refuse. Maybe I'm not an idiot after all.
I looked up at that moment and spotted Lucy walking towards me. Right on time I noted as I checked my wristwatch.
"Lucy!" I called out.
Lucy stopped walking and examined at me. She blinked.
"Yes?" she replied.
Our first words together after all these years. No time to space out now, though.
"I'm Natsu" I introduced myself.
She tilted her head as she looked me up and down, "okay."
Well, Natsu, it's time to put your fail-proof plan into action. I held out my left wrist, my other hand digging into my pocket to pull out a razor blade. I drew in a breath and gathered my courage.
"I'm Natsu, and if you don't go out with me, I'm going to kill myself."
A long pause ensued before her eyes widened. Stay cool, Natsu, stay cool, just…just keep your face serious and wait for her response.
"You-you're not serious are you?" she turned fully to me but making sure to not make any sudden movements. I felt strange as she almost regarded me as some cornered animal. Well, at this point I might as well have been.
I nodded. "I've been admiring you for a while now, you're such a nice person, you wouldn't just let me kill myself, would you?" I asked.
Uh-oh, things were not going according to plan. Instead of her crying and saying yes, Lucy had gone from cautious to angry. Her face turned slightly red as she started storming towards me.
"Don't go joking about your life like that!" she yelled, fuming as she tried to take the blade from me.
I took a shaky step back and made my first cut. I flinched as the red liquid started trickling down my wrist.
"Not another step," I warned her.
Lucy paused. "Y-you're serious?" she asked.
"I have nothing to live for, my life has always been in your hands," I told her, my voice coming out more confident than I was feeling.
Lucy took a step back from me. Her face scrunched up, I think it was her thinking face. Watching her for seven years had led to me being a skillful Lucy-body-language-interpreter. When her eyebrows were up that meant she was excited, when she blinked before smiling that meant she was pleasantly surprised. When her eyebrows scrunched tightly together, like she had been doing before, that meant she was angry.
"…What's your name again?" Lucy asked.
I cleared my throat. "Natsu Dragneel, we go to the same school together," I explained.
"You'd think I'd remember such pink hair," she muttered to herself.
"It's salmon, and I try to blend in," I corrected.
"Salmon, right. So Natsu, I can pretty much summarize this as blackmailing me to be your girlfriend with your safety?" she asked. I nodded, a little stunned at her almost irritated tone.
"How do you know I won't call the police or something even if I agree?" she challenged.
"If the cops come knocking on my door, I'll kill myself before they can get in. And if comes to it, I'll bite my tongue if there's any other mishap in my plan." I answered.
"I don't even know you! This is our first time actually meeting and so far, I am not liking you!" she shouted. I resisted the urge to tell her this wasn't our first time. I really should get over it, at least for the meantime. First get her as my girlfriend, then do something about that awful amnesia.
"Doesn't matter. I love you Lucy, and I'm not changing my mind, so what's it going to be?" I held the razor blade to my wrist again, ready to make another cut. The blade dug into my skin and I flinched from the pain. She quickly reached over when she noticed my flinching, sighing as she looked up.
"OKAY! Okay!...I'll go out with you, just please don't kill yourself," she grumbled.
I smiled. Mission accomplished! I just got the most popular girl in school to go out with me.
Beta Edited by: champcuute
BlackLynx17: Your attention please.
People have reviewed telling me that I don't understand the seriousness of being suicidal and cutting ones self. This is my first time writing a story of this genre and I wasn't aware what I was getting myself into.
Even though I do in fact know the dangers of those things, I wasn't aware that my readers would actually take this story so literally so I'm here to change that. I mean when people write about drug stories and OD-ing people know not to try that, I just thought it would be the same for this, my mistake.
I do not support cutting ones self, I've tried it a couple of times when I was at my rebellious age and let me tell you... it wasn't 'fun'. I also don't support killing oneself. This story doesn't support it either, I was just tired of reading and writing light romances.
I wanted something deep, I wanted change so that's why I wrote this. Suicidal Boyfriend was meant to be a story about a boy who has issues with himself but slowly learns and gains confidence and get's better. Natsu is NOT a cutter, he only did it to get the girl.
This is a STORY and a STORY only! Do not try this at home kids! Threatening to kill yourself to get a girlfriend is not the answer, if having suicidal thoughts please call a specialist! Or contact a Parent or Guardian, ect. In real life if you tried to kill yourself to get a girl/boy, they might actually run away and/or stop you before you can do it.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this story, I was only trying to add humor and awareness to this ugly yet beautiful world. None of this is real, it's just a story. Why did Lucy accept? She's REALLY nice and because if she didn't, Natsu would have died on the first chapter and I wouldn't have had a story.
Sorry for the mix-up, I hoped everyone's happy and takes my warning seriously! Again sorry about the seriousness.
Thanks for your reviews! NaLu forever!