BlackLynx17: I forgot to update. That is my only excuse, I'm sorry. Thanks for the reviews, they brightened my day.

I do not support cutting one's self and/or killing oneself. This story doesn't support it either. This is a STORY and a STORY only! Do not try this at home kids! Threatening to kill yourself to get a girlfriend is not the answer, if having suicidal thoughts please call a specialist! Or contact a Parent or Guardian, etc. In real life if you tried to kill yourself to get a girl/boy, they might actually run away and/or stop you before you can do it.


Suicidal Boyfriend

Chapter 3


What have I gotten myself into? I went from sitting in the back of the library all alone to sitting at the most popular table in school.

"Morning everyone" Lucy chirped.

The popular group's heads looked up towards us; I heard some various 'mornings' and saw a few smiles. I kept my head lowered and followed after Lucy. She sat at the end of the bench and started scooting over to the side.

"Move Jellal, we have a new friend today."

The man named, Jellal, listened to Lucy and started scooting over. Lucy grabbed my hand and pulled me down to the seat next to her. I felt like I was sweating bullets at the moment and then... it just dawned on me. What the hell was I doing here?

"Who's the geek?"

I clenched my fists, I am no-

"He's not a geek! He's a..." Lucy trailed off.

"Loser" Loke said covering it with a cough.

Lucy tried to defend me! Me! Maybe not Loke, calling me a loser, but I was cooler with that than geek. I pushed my glasses up and started to stare at Lucy's friends. Four girls and six boys; some with hair colors weirder than mine.

"Shut up Loke" Lucy growled.

"So, aren't you going to introduce yourself?" one girl asked me.

Her hair color had to be the closest to mind, a scarlet red. Salmon and scarlet were close, they both descended from red. What did my red descended comrade just say?

Oh no, introductions. Come on Natsu, you can introduce yourself. It's easy. Just take a deep breath, look straight into their eyes, give Lucy's necklace a squeeze and say-

"Hi I'm Natsu Dragneel."

Simple as that. My voice sounded strong, confident and I didn't stutter once. I sighed in relief and let my hand dropped. Well I think that went well.

"Well Natsu Dragneel, I'm Erza Scarlet" Erza said.

Scarlet, not only was her hair scarlet but her last name too? Freaky.

"Nice to meet you" she added.

"Nice to meet you too" I said.

Erza nudged the guy next to her.

"What?" he growled.

It was alright, she didn't have to introduce me to the gangster looking fellow next to her. I try to stay away from people who can kicked my behind, and here she was introducing him to his next target... me. Erza then glared at the gangster and I felt a sudden shiver course through me.

"Yikes! I'm Gajeel, sorry about the geek comment" Gajeel said leaning away from the girl.

So much for my gangster idea.

"I'm Levy! It's nice to meet one of Lucy's friends! I'm sure we'll get along well since..." Levy looked around the table then pulled out a pair of glasses and put them on.

"I wear glasses too" she whispered to me.

I actually laughed.

"Put those away Lev, I'm Lisanna. Strange, Lucy's never mentioned you before. I mean I would have remembered if she talked about you especially with a hair color like that" Lisanna said.

I tried so hard to resist the urge to use my scarf as a bandana. Moments like these are when I'd walk away and go isolate myself, but Lucy was here. I'll pull through this for her.

"Never mind that, who's next? Natsu already knows Hughes, Sugar Boy, and Loke, your turn Jellal" Lucy said.

The man sitting next to Lucy leaned forward so he could make eye contact with me.

"Jellal" he said before leaning back.

"Don't worry about him, he's not one of many words" Erza whispered.

What a coincidence, neither am I. I think I'd get along well with Jellal, we're both silent people.

"I'm Juvia, let's get along" Juvia said.

A small smile graced her lips when she said that and I couldn't help but smile back. She seemed nice, not nicer than my Lucy though.

"And last but certainly not the least, the greatest out of all these people here, Gray! Fullbuster!" Gray introduced himself.

Several people at the table laughed at him, Lucy was one of them. I looked at Gray and saw a potential rival if he was interested in my Lucy. With that the introductions were done, conversations went on at the table and I just sat with my head lowered next to Lucy.

"So Natsu,"

I looked up, I think she was Lisanna?

"So, why'd you come here today?" Lisanna asked.

By the tone of her voice she didn't mean it in a bad way, it sounded like she was just curious why a complete stranger that Lucy's never talked about once before would come sit with them.

"Um, Lucy invited me" I said scratching the back of my head.

"So Lucy, why'd you invite him?" Lisanna asked, her eyes trailing towards her.

Lucy started to fidget in her seat, "well you see, the thing is" she stumbled with saying.

Was she nervous to introduce me as her boyfriend? Did she want me to do it instead? Lucy suddenly grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers; she lifted it up so her friends could see and said in a very clear voice-

"We're dating!"

Loke spat out the milk he was drinking. I didn't laugh, but I did have a big smirk on my face. Hughes cursed and stared wiping the milk off him, alright so now I laughed.

"Really? No offence Natsu but you don't seem like Lucy's... type" Lisanna said.

I shrugged. I knew I wasn't Lucy's type, that's why I tried to kill myself. The conversations died at the table and everyone was looking at us. Why were they looking? I looked towards Lucy and saw her face was red. She was looking downwards, her fingers playing with the helm of her skirt. So cute.

"Well! Aren't you going to tell us the story? Or do we have to guess?" Lisanna asked.

They'd never guess it right in a million years. Lucy's head shot up and she started looking around.

"Oh yes, our story... um" she said.

I guess it was time for me to step in.

"I walked up to Lucy one day after school and asked her out, just like that" I said.

Eyes trailed towards me while my eyes trailed to Lucy to check if I did a good job or not. She had a small smile on her face. What? It was true... I just left out the cutting part.

"So bold. Just like that? No flowers or nothing?" Levy asked.

I shook my head. "Nope, just like that" I said.

Well I did bring a razor...

"And Lucy? Why'd you say yes? I know other guys asked you out actually getting you things. Why say yes to Natsu's?" Lisanna asked.

"Well um! I admired his confidence in himself, and his eyes. They looked so set and determined... I guess I felt... cherished? By the way he loved me" Lucy said.

Admired my confidence? Determined eyes? Cherished by my love? I didn't know Lucy thought so highly of me, I had no idea. I rubbed my nose, trying really hard to hide my blush.

"Wow" was all Lisanna said.

Her friends seemed to have the same expressions of their faces, except for Jellal. I just assumed he never has expressions.

"Come on! Really? Just look at the guy! Confidence? Determined? I don't see anything like that on him!" Loke yelled.

And there was the jerk being... well a jerk.

"A word Loke" Lucy said getting up.

Wait! Don't go! I don't want to be left here alone with these people! Why can't anyone read my mind?!... oh wait that should be a good thing. Loke stood up from his seat while Lucy swung her legs from under the table.

"Gladly" he smirked at me then walked away with MY girlfriend.

"Don't mind Loke, he's just a-"

"A jerk?" I asked finishing Gray's sentence.

"I was going to say dick but pretty much yeah, you get used to him though" Gajeel said.

I started laughing, I heard Gray join me. Seemed we had the same sense of humor.

"Well Natsu, welcome to the club" Gray said throwing me a juice box.

"T-thanks" I stuttered catching it.

My first juice box from a friend; I smiled at it as I rubbed my thumb across the cover.

"So Natsu, tell us about yourself" Erza said.

I flinched and looked up.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well for starters, what's your favorite color?" Erza asked.

"To simple, let's ask if he's ever broken the law before" Gajeel said.

"No! How about what's your favorite book?" Levy asked.

"How many woman have you slept with before Lucy?" Lisanna asked.

"Are you gay?" Sugar Boy asked.

"Of course he isn't gay, why would he be dating Lucy if he was?" Hughes said.

So many questions, I guess I'll start at the top?

"Well red because I don't know, it seems like a hot color? The worst I've ever done was break my neighbor's window and run away, book? Um... I'm not a big fan of reading but I guess the Phantom Head? None, and no I'm not gay" I said.

Did I get everything?

"You're not a big fan of reading? How come you have such dor-... big glasses then?" Gajeel asked.

"Poor vision, really blind without these" I said touching them.

"So they're just for looks? You're not really a geek? Or smart?" Gajeel asked.

I shook my head. Gajeel's face dropped and I really wished Lucy was here right now because the look he was giving me made me think he was about to jump me.

"You could have told me that BEFORE I started copying your paper! I always thought I copied wrong and that's why I kept getting a C-, stupid" Gajeel mumbled.

"You copied from Natsu? I copied from you!" Gray yelled.

I cracked a smile.

"You guys both copy from him? For what class?" Erza asked.

"Math, 3th period. Natsu here always sits next to the window seat. He's always staring out the window, daydreaming, every class period. That's when I take a peek at his sheet" Gajeel said.

"Gajeel! Cheating's wrong!" Levy yelled.

"So is failing!" Gajeel defended.

So this was what it felt like to have friends.

"I offered to tutor you" Levy said.

"So? I don't have time for studying" he said.

"But you have time for going to heavy metal concerts with your other friends?" Levy asked.

I laughed along with others.

"... yes. That's exactly right" Gajeel said.

"Thanks Natsu, if it wasn't for you Gajeel here wouldn't have had anyone to copy from and we both would have failed" Gray said.

"No need to thank me, I wasn't even aware what was happening. Like Gajeel said, I was daydreaming" I said.

Lucy's friends laughed. Laughed! At my joke! Suddenly the bell rang; Lucy's friends started grabbing their things and getting up.

"Ready for class Pinky?" Gajeel asked.

What class? Did he want to walk to class together? In a non-gay way... We were actually going to go to class together!

"You'll see him there, I bet Natsu here wants to walk his girlfriend to class" Lisanna said in a teasing voice.

Girlfriend, that's right! Lucy! Where was she?

"Sorry I'm late, bye guys" Lucy said appearing behind me.

She grabbed my wrist and started tugging me forward, I flinched as a reflex.

"Oh sorry! I forgot this was your... cutting wrist" she said.

She flipped over my hand and trailed her finger down the bandage that covered mu wrist. It was a gentle touch so I didn't flinch this time.

"At least you bandaged it, we don't have to worry about you bleeding out again" Lucy said.

I nodded. Lucy grabbed my hand again, gently this time, and started pulling me along.

"So how'd you get along with our friends?" she asked.


"They... were really nice" I mumbled.

Lucy giggled. "I'm glad you liked them. Oh good news! You don't have to worry about Loke anymore, I gave him a big lecture" she said.

"Lucy" I said stopping her.

Lucy looked back towards me with a questionable face.

"Thanks. You really are a good person" I said.

Too bad I wasn't. Lucy didn't deserve to be with a conniving loser like me.

"No worries Natsu, now are you going to walk to me class or do I have to go all by myself?" Lucy asked me.

I nodded and started walking with her again. I didn't understand it, why was she being so nice? That wasn't part of the deal, she just had to be my girlfriend. Instead she stood up for me, gave me friends, actually smiled at me and called me her friend. What have I done in return for Lucy? Threaten her, stalked her, I couldn't stop though. I know Lucy deserves someone great but... I can't let go of her. I can't let go of this hand.

I love her. Even if I had to take advantage of that kindness to be with her then so be it. I want to be with Lucy, no matter the costs.

"Hello Natsu."

Natsu? Someone was actually trying to talk to me? I turned my head and noticed Gray sitting in the chair next to me. Gajeel was also there, he took the seat in front of me.

"Man, now I see why you always sit over here. The view's great" Gajeel said staring out the window.

They were talking to me! They were talking to me! Talk back Natsu, don't screw this up.

"I know, just don't let the teacher catch you or else it's detention" I said.

... That was alright. You both agreed with what he said and gave him a heads up. That was a good reply, nice one me.

"Thanks, so what you reading?" Gajeel asked turning around in his seat.

This was one of the moments I've heard about, this was the beginning to a friendly conversation. Moments where two friends talk to each other to pass the time. The teacher wasn't here yet so I guess Gajeel was talking to me to pass the time. Way to go me!

"Well um, it's just a comic I picked up yesterday" I said.

Damn! Just a comic? What am I, a geek? It wasn't even a comic but a-

"Oh my God" Gajeel said.

He lifted his hand and picked up the book from my desk. Great, now he's going to make fun of me for reading such-

"Just a comic, Natsu boy here has jokes Gray. This is the latest edition of Tenchi Muyo! I didn't know this came out already" Gajeel said skimming through the book.

... What?

"You?... Like?... Tenchi Muyo?" I asked.

Gajeel looked up at me for a quick second and grinned.

"Like? Dude I fricken worship this manga! Gray on the other hand... not so much" Gajeel said.

"What? I'm not allowed to have an opinion? I like the story I just think it's a little... weak. Yu Yu Hakusho on the other hand, now that's another story" Gray said.

I blinked.

"You? Read? Yu Yu Hakusho?" I asked.

"Psh! Yu Yu Hakusho has nothing on Tenshi Muyo" Gajeel argued waving my manga in the air.

"Yeah right! There's more action, more adventure, Yusuke's a ghost detective! Ghost Detective!" Gray yelled.

"So?! Tenchi got alien girls living with him! Talk about a player" Gajeel said.

"Well let's ask Natsu about it, what do you think?" Gray asked.

What me? They wanted my opinion about this?

"Yeah Natsu boy, tell Gray all the greatness that is Tenchi Muyo!" Gajeel yelled.

They were talking... to me. They were asking me questions.

"Well" I said.

Why am I choking? Isn't this what I always wanted... friends.

"I have to agree with Gray that Yu Yu Hakusho is a good manga, but that's only because Tenchi Muyo has just gotten started! Yu Yu Hakusho has a clear 100 chapter head start against Tenchi Muyo, it wouldn't be fair to compare the two of them. With that being said, Tenchi Muyo does have its spot lights. I mean who wouldn't want to live with a house full of alien girls? But let's focus on the positive side instead of fighting, I think I speak for all of us when I say both manga's are equally funny" I said.

Silence... they're staring at me. Don't tell me I messed it up?

"I have to admit, Ryoku flicking mini paper balls at Ayeka was funny, especially when Ayeka retaliated by throwing a book at Ryoku's face!" Gray laughed.

"What about when Yusuke mad that funny ass face and acted like a monkey with chop sticks up his nose! Yu Yu Hakusho was funny right off the bat" Gajeel laughed.

They... were agreeing.

"Nice job Natsu, you just saved us from a long pointless argument" Gray said patting my back.

My glasses fell off when he did that but I didn't care. I just experienced a friend hit; Gray just praised me.

"Whoops sorry about that" Gray said.

"Here" Gajeel said lifting up my glasses.

No one's ever picked up my glasses for me before.

"Thanks" I mumbled grabbing them and putting them back on.

"No problem Natsu boy, shit looks like the teacher's here" Gajeel said turning around in his seat.

"Alright students I'm going to be passing out your old test, you have free time for the first 10 minutes of class" our teacher said.

Gajeel turned back around, his head looking down towards the manga. Gray smiled and started teasing Gajeel, talking about how Levy would be proud to see him reading.

"I'm disappointed in you Dragneel, next time I expect to see better results" the teacher said handing me my test.

A big red F was at the top right corner.

"Damn you know what that means" Gray said.

Gray and Gajeel got their test a few seconds later; they looked at each other and started laughing. I smiled and joined in.

So this was how it felt to have friends.

BlackLynx17: To be continued, please review.