BlackLynx17: My computer broke. It really broke people, I'm working on getting it fixed but until then I won't be able to update. Sorry.

Thanks for all your reviews and support, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I was able to update this one chapter, sorry if it has mistakes!

I do not support cutting one's self and/or killing oneself. This story doesn't support it either. This is a STORY and a STORY only! Do not try this at home kids! Threatening to kill yourself to get a girlfriend is not the answer, if having suicidal thoughts please call a specialist! Or contact a Parent or Guardian, etc. In real life if you tried to kill yourself to get a girl/boy, they might actually run away and/or stop you before you can do it.


Suicidal Boyfriend

Chapter 6


Lucy Heartfilia kissed me.


It was amazing at that moment but now that time has passed, I've started thinking about it. And the question that always came up was...


Why did she kiss me?

She didn't love me, she told me herself and yet... we kissed? Confusing, I know. I'll never get girls, then again I don't have to. I just need to get Lucy.

"Thanks, for today."

I blinked and looked up, we were at her home already? I cleared my throat before responding.

"Yeah no problem, I should be thanking you actually... or Loke I guess, hahaha" I laughed nervously.

Lucy lifted her hand over her mouth and giggled lightly with me. I smiled seeing how cute she was, that and all mine!

"Well, I should get going... see you tomorrow I guess?" Lucy asked.

"Of course, you know we're I'll be hiding" I joked.

We smiled, wait a second Natsu boy! The kiss.

"Lucy!" I called reaching my hand out, like I'd actually reach her.

She looked back at me pausing mid-step. I blushed and dropped my hand.

"Why? I mean not that I didn't like but, why did you kiss me?" I asked her.

Lucy blinked. She opened her mouth slightly but closed it right after. Finally she stared me in the eyes, I noticed a certain sparkle to them.

"It just seemed like the perfect moment too."

Perfect moment too.

Lucy smiled soundlessly at me then started walking towards her door. What did Gray say? Wait until she gets in the house before you leave? Hold it,... hold it... hold it...

Lucy turned back at me and waved quickly before she closed the door.



I did it.



I was able to go out on a date with Lucy. I was able to have a good time with her. I was able to kiss her. WHAT A GREAT DAY! I walked down the street swinging my bag high in the air as I walked. Such a perfect day, nothing could ruin i-

"Wah!" I sighed.


Ow. I tripped on a crack and landed in... muddy water. My bag was safe though, it was still a great day. I stood up and tried to wipe some of the dirt of my shirt, forget it I'll just have to wash it. Nice try universe but I'm still happy!

Vroom! Splash!

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I yelled at the passing by car.

Great now my bag was wet too, hold it. I opened the bag, the book was still dry. Thank God for water proof bags. I took of my glasses and wiped the dirt off with my coat... only to remember that my coat was dirty too...

Great. I took my coat off and wiped my glasses off on my shirt underneath, it was fairy clean. I placed my glasses back on and wiped off the water dripping down my face with my sleeves. I was afraid to think of anything else in fear of what the universe would throw at me next.



"PERFECT DAY STILL!" I yelled then ran the rest of my way home.

Stand out in the open Natsu, you're not going to be a stalker today. Stalking is a definitely not an option today. So you're doing it! You're standing outside of Lucy's house... in the wide open... where anyone can see me standing here... damn it!

Just before I was about to go back to my hiding place, Lucy opened the door to her home.

"Morning Natsu!" she called out as she closed the door.

"M-mor-morning!" I squeaked.

Our first kiss replayed in my mind. It was so pure, so innocent. Our first.

"Any razor's today?" she asked walking towards me.

I patted down my pockets, "must have forgotten it at home" I joked.

It was a lie, I always had the razor on me... always. Lucy giggled then started telling me about her morning. I was having a normal conversation with my girlfriend. Sure hundreds of people probably do it every day but this was me I was talking about. Natsu Dragneel, a... I don't know what I am currently, let me get back on that.

Still, it's a little pathetic of me to freak out about every simple thing that appears normal in my life. It's just so unbelievable though, who would have thought I would be here at this moment? Walking to school with a beautiful woman by my side? Maybe I'll just freak out just for a few more days until I'm used to it.



"... Natsu?"

I turned my attention away from the clouds and towards the person who called me. Once I saw it was Lucy I immediately straightened out and pushed my glasses up higher.

"What are you doing here?" she asked walking towards me.

"Well uh, you see" I trailed off thinking of an excuse.

My eyes darted from side to side, with nothing coming to mind I sighed and decided to tell the truth.

"This is my second period" I said.

"Really? How come I never noticed you? How come you never told me?" she asked.

"Well you always looked busy and stuff so I didn't want to interrupt you" I mumbled.

Because I am a coward. I did not have the courage to go sit next to you with your cheer squad surrounding you. What would they think seeing me try and talk to her? Or worse! What would they think of Lucy seeing her talk to me?

"You should go back before your seen talking to me, just say you were returning a pencil you borrowed or something" I said turning my head back towards the sky.

Such a lovely shade of blue today. I heard Lucy's footsteps walking away and sighed blissfully. I may be ruining her dating life, but I didn't want to ruin her social one. I've seen the high school movies, once the popular girl starts hanging around with the losers they instantly dump her. I'm not a loser though... who am I -

"Girls I'd like you all to meet a fr-... special person of mine, Natsu Dragneel."

Huh? I look up and saw myself surrounded... by cheerleaders! My eyes were only for Lucy but wow! They were all sitting next to me, and smiling, and batting their eyelashes, and whispering.

"On three girls. 1, 2, 3!"

"Hi Natsu!" the girls said in perfect sync.

They all just said hi to me at the same time! Was I dreaming? I pinched the back of my hand to see if I was, ouch. Nope I was awake.

"Nice to meet you Natsu."

"Nice glasses Natsu."

"Any friend of Lucy is a friend of mine."

"Hi again."

Wow, so very unlike the movies, all these cheerleaders we're nice. Super nice to a gee-... lose-... person like me.

"How long have you been friends with Lucy?" one of the girls asked me.

Come on Natsu, you can speak can't you?

"Only for a few days" I said.


"A few days? That means he hasn't passed the test Lu-cy" the girl said.

"Cana leave him alone" Lucy said.

The cheerleaders all started giggling, what? What was I missing?

"I'm just saying Lucy! All our friend's took the test, why should he be any different?" Cana asked.

Cana... what a weird name. Looking at Cana though you wouldn't think she would be weird. In all honestly she was gorgeous with a nice ra-

"He's my boyfriend" Lucy said.

BOYFRIEND! She called me her boyfriend again. Note to self, Thursday during second period Lucy called me her boyfriend.

"Even better! Now he has to take the test and his challenger will be, drum roll please" Cana said.

The girl sitting next to her started pounding on her desk. Cana cleared her throat then grinned.

"Loke!" Cana yelled.


Is what I wanted to scream out but thankfully Lucy screamed it out for me.

"Those are the rules Lucy, isn't that right Mira?" Cana asked.

"She's right Lucy. If you break the tradition then you'll be forced to quit the squad" Mira said.

What the? Kicked off the squad?! I thought Mira was the nicest cheerleader out of them all, excluding Lucy. I always saw her smiling and being polite and stuff. What kind of trick was this? Did that even matter right now? Natsu focus! Lucy's about to get kicked off the squad because of you, are you just going to let that happen?

"I'll do it" I said blindly.

"See, he's agreed to it. The test will be at Nutrition and don't worry Natsu, the whole squad will be cheering for you" Cana said and winked.

What had I gotten myself into?

"Why'd you agree to that Natsu?! Loke's going to humiliate you now and I can't protect you from it!" Lucy yelled.

"Well I didn't want you to get kicked off the squad for dating me" I said.

And as for the humiliating part, Loke does that on an everyday basis without you noticing so yeah... no worries on that one. Lucy's gaze softened before she sighed.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I did" I told her.

"It's not that Natsu, it's that stupid cheer squad tradition" Lucy mumbled.

"The test? What is the test anyway?" I asked.

Cana mentioned Loke's name... ! Don't tell me!

"Do I have to fight him?!" I asked.

The color drained from my face. Remembering my run-ins with Loke, he's always been going easy on me. I see the way he tackles people during football, I was nothing more than a warm-up. With him serious though... he'd skin me alive.

"No Natsu, nothing like that. You see back in the old days when this school was first made the cheer squad made up a rule. If they wanted to be victorious then they would have to be around other people who were victorious. Sort of like a spread the wealth kind of way; they believed if they hanged around other victors that they too would be victors" Lucy said.

How come I was not liking this story already? Victor and Natsu together? In the same sentence?! Never going to happen unless it was, Natsu is NOT a victor or the OPPOSITE of victor is Natsu or... basically every negative way you could put those two words together.

"The rules changed over the years but one remained the same. Each friend must take the test if they want to hang out... permanently" Lucy said.

"So you give the test to all of your friends?" I asked.

Lucy shook her head.

"Only the one's I hang out with, so basically everyone at our table has had the test" she said.

"And they all passed it?"

"No well, some didn't"

"So you don't have to pass it to hang out?"

That sounded... strangely nice. Maybe I had this thing wrong?

"Not really, like I said the rules have changed over time. Others didn't like how they couldn't hang out with their friends so they changed it but kept the test for some strange reason. Look I don't know much, only that win or lose we can still be together but if you lose you will be humiliated constantly every day by everyone, especially Gajeel and Loke. Gray didn't past the test and Gajeel still teases him till this day. Just thinking about Loke, Sugar Boy, and Hughes! They'd torment you every day! So badly you'd want to ki-..."

Lucy stopped short but I knew the rest. Well Loke's gang already torment me every day until I'd want to kill myself. So... I guess there really was anything to lose. Loke already tormented me and I already wanted to kill myself for Lucy, nothing new here.

"So what's the test?" I asked.

Lucy bit her tongue.

"You're not allowed to tell?" I asked.

She shook her head. I sighed.

"Alright, on to your homeroom period then" I said

The test couldn't be too bad, like she said I wouldn't have to fight Loke... then again. There are plenty of other ways Loke can harm me without fighting, like with a dodge ball for instance. Oh god, I was about to get a black eye by a ball.

"Natsu? Are you okay?" Lucy asked me.

Stop spazzing out Natsu, try and think of the positive things. Try thinking that you're going to wi-, wi-!... wi-... I can't even think I'm going to wi-... Me vs. Loke. All the chances are his favor, I just need a motivation! Yeah, think Natsu. You're not going to lose, if you do then you won't-... !

"If I win the 'test' Lucy... would you kiss me?" I asked.

Lucy stopped walking, I looked back and saw her face heat up.

"W-what? What are you saying?" she asked.

"Well, I don't think I'm going to win... at all. The odds are against me but... I thought if I had something to motivate me then... I could... try?"

Why was I asking? I started staring up at the ceiling, my glasses falling back crashing into my eyes. If I look up then the blood should rush back down right? Right?!

"Would that really? Motivate you?" she asked.

I nodded my head.

"... alright then."

WHAT?! I looked down so fast my glasses slipped off my face and fell.

"Darn" I mumbled bending down to reach for it.

Lucy's hands met mine, I felt her push my glasses back on my face.

"Alright Natsu. If by a miracle you're able to win then I'll kiss you... on the lips... in front of all our friends... oh God" she said.

She was talking herself out of it, either that or realizing what I was asking from her.

"No, no! I'll do it! Like you said the odds of you winning are zero, there's no way you'd... oh"

Even Lucy thinks I'm not going to win, what's the point?

"I didn't mean that! Natsu look at me" Lucy said lifting up my face.

"Have confidence in yourself, you can do anything you put your mind do. Just think if you win you get a- a... a kiss! As your reward!" she said.

Confident. My hand trailed up to my scarf, I squeezed the locket hiding under it. Be confident Natsu, confident. The bell rang, students started running to get to their classrooms.

"Sorry" I mumbled standing up.

"No worries, I'll see you Nutrition?" she asked.

I nodded. She smiled and walked off, her hand briefly lingering on my shoulder before she raced down the halls. I stood in the hallway by myself, pulling down my scarf and holding the locket in my hand. I stood there alone listening to the beautiful lullaby the locket played. Confidence Natsu, that's the thing you always needed. And that's the thing you're going to achieve.

Ready or not Loke, here I come.