PLEASE READ: Well I've been on a Facts of Life binge for a couple of months now so that's where my writing's gone to :) I will warn you that this story has darker themes and if it offends you, well then I'm sorry. I really appreciate reviews! Follows and favorites are great but reviews are even better and it keeps the updates coming. I already have most of this story complete, there will probably be around 7-9 chapters. This will be a story about family. I appreciate your reading and please review!
"It didn't happen, it didn't happen..." the aching blonde cried to herself as she painfully threw one foot in front of the other. The biting airs of the night filled her chest as she walked back toward her home. Home. It hurt.
She had never been more sensitive to pain, the tenderness in her legs, and the blood coming from where her body was torn. It was scary because she didn't know if he had permanently damaged her, he had ripped her in places she didn't even know was there. She didn't want to know.
Everyone kept telling her to slow down, stop seeing so many guys. Why did she have to go out almost every night? Why couldn't she be reasonable, why did she have to have so much attention? She brought this on herself. This was all her fault. If you want attention, you're going to get attention. And why let a stranger offer you a lift home? How stupid. Why couldn't she see his game?
All her fault...not thinking...a stranger...
After arriving home in the late hours she sluggishly but quietly climbed up the stairs; everyone else was already asleep and she didn't want to wake anyone, she just wanted to go to sleep. Tomorrow was a brand new day; she could wake up and take a shower, put on some new clothes, fix her hair and forget this whole night ever happened.
And if she couldn't right away, then she could learn to forget what it felt like in time. Erase it from her memory like it was never there. If you can tell yourself a lie over and over, you can start to believe it, and that was what she planned to do. Because no one had to know that her perfect light was gone and that her body was ruined. It was easier this way. This little incident didn't have to change her, she was bigger than that, she was still her: strong and confident.
She tip toed into the bedroom that she shared with her three best friends, they were all asleep. She quietly changed out of her ripped dress, throwing it under her bed like a piece of trash. He had taken her undergarments, so her body was bare with the exception of a long skirted slip. As she crawled underneath her blankets she then felt a sense of relief. She was home, in her warm bed, with her friends all around her; she was finally safe.
Blair slid down into the bed and pulled the covers over her head, you're still Blair Warner she told herself.
"It didn't happen..." she whispered under the sheets. And that was that.
It didn't happen, it couldn't happen to her, not her...it never happened...
Two months later, 20 years old, she was staring herself down in the mirror of the bathroom. Eyes red and puffy, her cheeks were flushed and her throat burned. She turned the faucet on to brush her teeth once again; once just wasn't enough, the smell was still in the back of her throat. It was bad.
The toothbrush flew into her mouth and immediately began scrubbing everywhere frantically, not missing one spot in her mouth. She had to get this smell off. It was making her sick all over again. She cleaned her teeth, her gums, her tongue…her teeth again, her gums again, her whole entire mouth was going to be sore she was scrubbing so hard. She just had to get the smell off. She threw her toothbrush down and rinsed her mouth out with cold water before looking up, examining her own reflection.
She hated looking at herself, it wasn't her anymore, this wasn't her, it didn't work, her brilliant plan didn't work and now look what happened. NO. This isn't happening. She was Blair, this wasn't happening to her.
Why did he have to do this-NO. STOP. It didn't happen. Remember? It did not happen.
She wouldn't allow it. She wouldn't be damaged goods; Blair Warner was capable of everything. There wasn't one thing that she couldn't overcome, how was this any different? Being flawless wasn't an act or a stand she posed on herself; it was who she was, wasn't it?
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't keep her food down. EVER. One evening Jo, Natalie, and Tootie were all in the kitchen making spaghetti for dinner. Blair was on her way down to the kitchen but stopped before she got there, she had become so sensitive to smells and the smell of the tomato sauce with the onions hit her like a ton of bricks.
Jo heard her coughing in the bathroom when she began to call her down to eat; she waited until Blair came out,
"Are you okay?" she asked concerned.
Blair shook it off, "Yeah just the smell of the onions upset my stomach I guess."
Onions? Jo threw her head back, "Well we've made spaghetti a thousand times and it never made you sick before."
Shrugging her shoulders Blair didn't seem to interested, "I don't know, it does now I guess. But I'm not hungry anymore so I think I'll go lie down."
She turned started walking away, Jo folded her arms watching her. That was weird.
That wasn't the last time Jo caught Blair, it happened again days later when Jo started watching her friend.
In the mirror Blair was crying at herself again, she had never once been uncomfortable in her own body but every time she got sick it just reminded her that she wasn't in control anymore, and that was just about as scary as anything.
After fixing her runny eyeliner she opened up the door to find Jo in the doorway, one hand leaning against the doorframe, blocking her from moving forward. "Excuse me," she started, attempting to move past her but Jo brought her other hand up on the other side of the doorframe.
"This is the fourth time in one week that I've listened to you barf your guts out," the brunette said bluntly. Blair lifted her chin and straightened her collar before Jo continued; she softened her tone, "There's no spaghetti today, there wasn't yesterday when you couldn't hold down your dinner and there wasn't any this morning. So what is going on?"
"I've been sick."
"Well if you're that sick then maybe you should go to the doctor..."
Blair shrugged her shoulders, "Okay," she mumbled and she began to move past her again but Jo didn't budge, "I'm not done," she continued.
Jo let a few seconds pass as she took her hands off of the doorway, "I been watching you Blair," she stared.
The blonde kept a straight face, and then smiled casually, "Well that doesn't surprise-"
"I mean I've been WATCHING you," Jo interjected. Blair crossed her arm but she didn't let up,
"And I'm worried about you," she said nodding at her stomach. No, she was just rude. How dare she be so impolite?
"Blair if something's going on-"
"NOTHING'S going on," Blair established still smiling, she freely moved past her now. Jo watched her walk out of their room; yes there was absolutely something going on. Not only had Blair's chest become fuller along with the frequent bathroom trips, but Blair had definitely toned down her social spectrum. She didn't go out, unless the whole group did, and when she did she didn't say much. She had really changed introvertedly, and that was not Blair. Yes something was definitely going on, Jo felt pretty confident she knew exactly what it was too. But this wasn't like Blair to try to run away from her problems, she always tackled them head on. Why was she doing this? Why? Jo figured that in due time, Blair would.
Jo waited. The day passed, the night came and left and the next morning arrived. Another day passed. Another night passed…weeks went by, the sun would rise and fall and Jo kept watching, and waiting. A month later and Blair never said one word to her. Even with school and work keeping her roommates occupied, how could they not notice the drastic change in Blair? Jo was watching though, she had always been watching.
She was the first to notice Blair becoming less involved with everyone and everything; the more she thought about it…it seemed that she'd been very distant from her friends for more time than what she realized. How long had it been since she went out with a boy? Every day it was the same routine over and over, Blair would wake up, go to school, come home from school, work her shifts in the kitchen, spend hours reading and then she went to bed. Jo tried talking to her several times, but it never got anywhere. "It's none of your business," Blair would always reply, every time.
One day Jo found Blair lying down on her bed with her eyes shut in the middle of the day. "It's 2 in the afternoon what are you doing sleeping?" she asked.
Blair's eyes opened to a squint, "I'm tired. Go away." Jo sat down on her bed, next to Blair's, "Don't you have a life anymore? You're always hanging around the house-"
"And what is wrong with that?" Blair interrupted closing her eyes.
"Well if you're Blair Warner, it's something."
"No, it's none of your business. Maybe I just want things to slow down for a change."
Jo shook her head, "Slowing down doesn't mean cutting yourself off from your life. Which is exactly what you've been doing."
Blair rolled over, her backside facing Jo. Jo stood up aggravated, "Well, maybe you've forgotten, but you have a whole house full of people who love you and would do anything for you. So if there's something bothering you, and OBVIOUSLY there is. Just say it."
Blair sighed very loudly; and Jo flew up and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. Why did she have to be so difficult?
Early the next morning before everyone was up, Jo awoke to the sound of a frustrated grumble in the bathroom. She sat up in bed, Natalie and Tootie were still asleep, if only she wasn't a light sleeper. She quietly got out of bed and tip toed to the bathroom door, she waited a second before opening it slowly. Blair was wearing only a bra and her skirt, which wasn't even zipped; she was struggling to zip it up. Blair turned her back quickly, "Can't you knock?" she furiously whispered. Jo's eyes widened as she ignored her, and grabbed the girl's shoulders and turned her around. Her belly, it wasn't flat like it always was. There was a very small, but very visible lump that was never there before.
Jo stepped back, "You ARE pregnant." Blair quickly threw her blouse over her head and pulled it down frantically. "I am not, how dare you?" she retaliated, still keeping her voice below a whisper. She pushed past Jo and out the open door, her footsteps light across the bedroom floor. Jo quickly followed after her which eventually landed them in the living room, which was still dark.
"I'm leaving early this morning, I have to-"
"Does anyone know? Does Mrs. G know?" Jo interrupted. "Why are you trying to hide it? With those blouses that go out, all poufy and what not. What are you doing?"
Blair squinted her eyes appalled, "I am NOT pregnant. I think I know my own body better than you do."
"WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ANYONE?" Jo asked again fiercely. Blair exhaled sarcastically while rolling her eyes.
"I'm going to be late so excuse me," she said walking out of the door.
Jo was dumbfounded. Now what? Blair had never scared her like this before, ever. This was so confusing, where was Blair going, why was she acting like this? Is this her place to tell Mrs. G her concerns? What was she doing?
She rubbed her hands together, it only took her about ten more seconds to realize that this was a risk she wasn't willing to take.
Jo shook Mrs. Garrett awake, "Mrs. G!" Edna woke suddenly and saw Jo standing over her bed,
"Jo? What are you doing?" she said confused. Jo shook her head; she sat down on the edge,
"Mrs. G, it's Blair..."
Suddenly Mrs. Garrett was wide awake, "What? What happened?" she inquired and sat up.
Jo held her hands up, "Mrs. G, Blair ain't here. She's pregnant and she just ran out and I have a really bad feeling-"
Mrs. Garrett grabbed her by the arm, "Hold on slow down," she reasoned. "Now what did you just say?"
Jo gathered herself, "I said that Blair is pregnant. She keeps saying she isn't though, but I know she is and she knows she is. And she just left in a hurry and I have a really terrible feeling, Mrs. G."
"Okay honey, thank you," Edna said quickly rising up and leaving the room. Jo stayed on her bed. What did I just do?
The girls were all in the living room when Blair walked through the door, her eyes were very, very wet.
"Blair!" Mrs. Garrett exclaimed, "Where have you been -"
"Mrs. Garrett," Blair's voice shook, "can I talk to you?"
"What's going on?" Tootie asked concerned, Natalie crossed her arms and Jo just stood behind the couch very quiet. Mrs. Garrett walked over to the young girl and took her hand; she led her away into the kitchen.
Mrs. Garrett closed the door, and wasted no time, "What is going on with you, Blair? Tell me the truth. Jo said-"
"I went to an abortion clinic in the city this morning," Blair blurted out.
The words hung in the air for several moments, they cut like a knife.
The older lady put her hand over her heart, "Abortion…" she whispered.
The young girl put her hands over her stomach. "I went to-" but she stopped, she couldn't finish. Blair covered her mouth, tears forming and her voice breaking, "Yes I know, it was so terrible Mrs. Garrett…"
"What happened?" Edna said taking her hands. Blair couldn't stop the tears they just kept coming. "I went there to-oh I can't hear myself say it out loud," she sobbed.
"Jo saw me this morning, and she told me that she knew but I told her it wasn't true. But I lied, it's true."
"What's true?" Edna asked softly, tightening her grip on her girl's hands. Blair shook her head, "I'm pregnant. I didn't do it, I left before they called my name and-oh, please don't hate me, Mrs. Garrett, I'm so sorry!"
Edna threw her hands down and grabbed her tight holding her; she stroked her back, "It's okay, it's going to be okay, we're going to figure this out…"
"Mrs. Garrett, I don't know what's going to happen."
"Neither do I dear but," she paused and kissed Blair's cheek, "I promise everything is going to be okay..."
The girls were listening
"Blair is going to have a BABY..." Tootie said amazed, her ear coming off of the kitchen door. Natalie sat down on the couch, eyes wide, "I can't believe it."
Jo was still standing behind the couch, she couldn't believe it either, how could she not have figured it out by now...it made so much sense.
"You two keep your big mouths shut, do you understand?" she hissed. The two girls nodded their heads quickly.
"I MEAN IT," she got louder, "I mean none of your little friends, ESPECIALLY anybody at Eastland. Don't talk about it, not to each other either, not to anyone. Just keep your mouths shut."
"Okay Jo," Natalie whined; "Yeah we won't," Tootie said.
"Get out of here," Jo commanded and the two girls got up fast and ran up the stairs, "So bossy..." she heard. Jo rubbed her face, this is really happening.
On the other side of the door Mrs. Garrett was holding together a breaking Blair, "Mrs. Garrett I am so sorry!" she kept saying over and over, "I'm so sorry..." Edna was stroking her back and saying words of comfort, "I've got you...I love you...you're going to be okay, we're all going to be okay..."
She was humiliated by everything, but what bothered her most was that she didn't have the strength to face what was happening to her. She thought that by holding it in and handling it herself was a way of holding on to her dignity and showing how brave she was; she thought her father would be proud. And when she was sitting in the cold office of the clinic that early morning, hearing name after name...something happened. She began to feel something different. It was the same feeling that she had when she was lying in the back of the bad man's van.
She wanted to go home, this place made her feel uncomfortable. Blair was looking around the room at the women who were sitting around her, she didn't know them, and she didn't want to be around them. She wanted to just be in her home where she felt good. Not bad. Not like the way she was feeling here.
There was so much pressure on her chest, she looked down and noticed her hands were shaking. Then she put them both on her belly, she looked down and stared at her stomach. There was a baby there. And why did that have to be a bad thing?
"I've got you..." Mrs. Garrett continued to say while crying with her.
Through the panic and the tears Blair believed that. She knew that if she had nothing else in this world that she had Mrs. Garrett, and friends that she would die for. And now, she had something to live for.
I hope you liked it, and if you didn't then that's okay it's not a story for everyone. I understand FOL was a funny show, but it was also very popular for taking on controversial topics. Blair is my favorite character so don't think I'm being mean to her either, I love Blair! If you think I should post more then please let me know in a review and I will! Thanks!